All sorts of people are lonely.
I had a client Friday that assumed I was lonely and unhappy because I do this work and that somewhat irked me I have to say.
To assume that we women are lonely because of what job we do I found a bit belittling. Perhaps it was the tone he used when he 'said' it to me rather than asking me?
You can be lonely in an office job. You can be lonely surrounded by an army of friends and you can be lonely in a relationship.
In my past relationship, I had the big house and Chloe handbags, disposable cash and I was the most unhappiest person you would ever have met. Now I have a tiny house and have sold my bags on ebay and disposable income is quite rare as suddenly I have bills to pay and all the responsibility of life on my shoulders and I am possibly the happiest I have been in bloody years. If I get just that extra booking a week, you know, that extra cash that is mine, not the banks, not the food shops, not the bills, not the savings account, but mine, it feels great, when I go shopping for totally non essential items now, I enjoy it far, far more than I ever did before because I value it more.
Being able to buy what you want when you want places little value on the things, no matter how much they cost. You simply don't value them at all. It's a very shallow existence. It can get to you as well, all that emptiness of being able to go get whatever you want and not value it at all.
Perhaps your feeling crappy right now as you feel you have no control over your work?
Being independent will mean you sort your own working hours out, you can plan a night out with your friends and turn your phone off that afternoon/evening. Your in control of everything. And trust me, from a computer phobe, having your own website is not hard work, it's not difficult.
No control or feeling like you have no control is horrible.
If you want to give this up in say, 2 years to find a relationship, then take the 2 years to think up a plan, as Anika says. Plan your way out of it, and as Ian says, put cash away.
I agree also that you have to make a choice here. How much do you value those designer handbags? Because if you highly value that sort of spending power and statement on your arm then your going to have to bite the bullet and carry on with what your doing, accepting the casualty is going to be piece of mind in your personal life.
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