SAAFE forum
General Category => Questions and Answers => Topic started by: londongirlxxx1 on 06 February 2010, 12:04:35 am
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I wrote a post here a while back regarding my nosy neighbours, which i seem to have bad luck with- as they were terrible in my old flat and almost as bad in my new place. But now im just REALLY scared, and i really have to let it all out....
I work for a few of the main 'top' agencies in central London. I used to work on adult work when i was working only very occasionally and i actually felt a lot more secure through that. With AW u can talk directly to the client on the phone, exchange emails, make sure he has a number of genuine positive feedbacks, has been a member a long time etc etc....even meet him in a nearby starbucks first if im still unsure!!! With agencies, they call say u have an incall in 30 mins. A TOTAL stranger coming to my home. The first question i always ask is do u know him, is he a regular. Sometimes they say yes other times no. When they say no, they feel my uncertainty and quickly go on to explain how 'lovely' he is on the phone, English very well spoken and again....so lovely! Or some just say without a secong thought that they have known him for 50 years and he is a good regular....when he arrives he tells me hes from america and never heard of this agency until his friend recommended it!
I just joined a new agency. The owner came to see me today as he lives very close by himself, and he was very honest. He said doing incalls is a problem right now. Girls are scared. The robberies and attacks are gettng worse and worse. Now, its not just the ''stereotypical'' guys u need to watch out for (for me personally i would never eever be comfortable and now see, eastern european guys or young asian guys) But seems like now its english guys, in suits, sounding LOVELY on the phone working as part of these organised crimes gangs. 3 girls from his agency were ROBBED and ATTACKED just last week. I am so scared. I want to stop incalls so much but they are 70% of my jobs. Only around 30% are outcalls. I usually hav the lovely guys who finish work around 6 and pop in before going home and they obviously live in london so its not like they can take me to their hotel. I have had such lovely guys and these few ba%$?$%s have to ruin it. Im feeling so scared i cannot even sleep at night paranoid someone may try to get in in the middle of the night and somehow unlock the door and kill me and i have terrible nightmares. Although nothing bad has happened, i have had a few ''dodgy'' new clients recently and im paranoid they may have just come to ''check out'' my place before telling others.There really is no where else i can do incalls near me so i just use my home and renting a seperate flat is an expense i just cant afford right now. im barely paying for my expensive flat as it is let alone 2. When i come home at night after an outcall job, i walk around my flat with an alarm in my hand checking everywhere that no one is in there, and the slightest creaking sound makes my heart just stop (i have floor boards and pets so usually there are always some kind of sounds!) but it totoaly freaks me out. I can only rest once i have checked everywhere under the bed, wardrobes etc. Is this normal if u do incalls in your home?? I feel like im going crazy x
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hello,
u shoulnt be scared all the time hun,thats not part of any job! i just do outcalls now but have done incalls! I always have to speak to the client 1st whether it agency or not.
Have u considered working in a hotel or working with another lady for saftey issues in a shared apartment?I never used my own place for incalls just because it my own personal space i dont want invading ,but everyones different!
could you advertise on aw again for incalls/outcalls?as u say u used to?theres a few options u could choose?
In the mean time have you a security buddy u could call when u have clients over?how about a alarm/panic alarm fitted?have u a chain on your front/back door?.........how scary our your pets :) !
gemma xx
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You sound so scared. This is why parlours and flats exist. The person you are when your working is completely seperate from the person you are at home you have to be two different people otherwise what is the point of using an alias. I would recomend you never allow any client to your home at all not only is this dangerous because of the threat of being robbed because they know you always have cash on you from your days work but also if a client falls "in love" or gets a fixation with you inevitably they will fantasise that you feel the same and probaly turn up at your home at any time, this could be when you have friends or family over! As a working girl you should be either working independently or for an agency doing outcalls or Working in a flat or parlour away from where you live. Any details of your past, upbringing, family/children or real name should never be divulged to a strange man who is just paying for an hour of your company. Ultimately they are paying you because if they were'nt you would not be spending that hour with them because they are not your ideal company. Never mix your working lfe with your personal life, this is the only way to stay 100% safe and to retain your status around friends and family, regardless of wether they know about your choice of profession or not seeing it actually happen in front of their eye's is a whole different matter. If you have any further questions please ask.
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You sound so scared. This is why parlours and flats exist. The person you are when your working is completely seperate from the person you are at home you have to be two different people otherwise what is the point of using an alias. I would recomend you never allow any client to your home at all not only is this dangerous because of the threat of being robbed because they know you always have cash on you from your days work but also if a client falls "in love" or gets a fixation with you inevitably they will fantasise that you feel the same and probaly turn up at your home at any time, this could be when you have friends or family over! As a working girl you should be either working independently or for an agency doing outcalls or Working in a flat or parlour away from where you live. Any details of your past, upbringing, family/children or real name should never be divulged to a strange man who is just paying for an hour of your company. Ultimately they are paying you because if they were'nt you would not be spending that hour with them because they are not your ideal company. Never mix your working lfe with your personal life, this is the only way to stay 100% safe and to retain your status around friends and family, regardless of wether they know about your choice of profession or not seeing it actually happen in front of their eye's is a whole different matter. If you have any further questions please ask.
Well said Alex. I agree. Try looking around for a flat to work from with other ladies. Take care honey xx
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I agree, you shouldn't be in a situation where you feel like this.
I think you should talk to your agency owner about it since he sounds like a reasonable guy so far. He might know a girl who can rent you some working space. If the agency work is realiable enough you could rent a room by the shift, otherwise maybe by the job. If he doesn't know anyone who can help and you can't find anyone either, he might be willing to work out a deal where the agency rents hotel rooms, since it sounds like there are other girls who either want to get out of their house or aren't doing incalls at the moment.
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Thank you so much everyone, at first i thought do the 'off' incall at home was no problem, but suddenly almost all my jobs have become incalls. Initially we all worry about neighbours or landlords finding out and then having an excuse to chuck us out, and im already on thin ice in that sense with my nosy neighbours being best friends with my landlord. But the safety issue is just so worrying, some nights i can barely fall alseep thinking a client could come back etc, or just someone breaking in. A lot of ladies here mention keeping your private life and working life seperate and i think this is where i am going wrong- sometimes not only do i feel like my life is ALL about this job, but im naturally chatty and i know i sometimes reveal much more than i should to clients, personal things. My agencies have been ok so far, although i have on occasion turned away a few clients just because i didnt like the look of them (not professional, very young, 'thuggish'' looking or whatever) and i know they get p$ssed off i have lost them money. But it seems anyone can now be a danger not just these young thugish looking guys. Its a real nightmare for me. I have this younger guy i still see from my aw days, and although hes nice he also seems to have a bit of a crush on me, and whenver my boyfriend is staying over at my house im always paranoid too that this guy could just turn up one night..its never ever happened, but this is one guy i wouldnt put it past hapening with. I have asked around a bit and it seems like most girls working in the agencies do incalls at their home, but most live in groups of 3 or so so they feel at least a bit safer there are other people in the house, although some guys just think there are more girls to rob that way...but i have to really find out about ncall places i can just go to 'by te hour' or something like that...just so dangerous and its making this job anything but fun anymore! im usually a nervous wreck these dys when they come, and find it incredibly hard to relax around anyone. Now my agency call me, saying a ''nice'' guy on the phone wants overnight with me ?2500...but he sounds very young around 20 or so, and is staying in a 2/3 star b and b in sussex gardens london (not great area) I am supposed to be going at 6 till 6am....sounds dodgy as hell...so hes got 2 1/2k on him, but is staying at a 2/3 star b&b and is very young...hmmm...it seems so long since i found this job fun...
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My agency take 35% commission...for simply answering the phone and giving me the job. Nothing else. Client: 'Hi, i would like to book Emma for one hour incall 7pm-8pm'. Agency: 'Ok, her address is ....(full address)...have fun!!'. Thats IT. If anyone knows anywhere around the baker street area of central london pls let me know x x
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The one thing that is very clear is that you're not happy now.
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I agree with what the others have said. You are clearly unhappy with what you are doing.
I don't agree that doing out-calls is any safer than seeing clients at your home though.
I can't see how it is safer to go to a man's house or a hotel aside from, at a hotel there are thin walls and you can scream loud. You have no bearings in another person's home. You can't go around checking every wardrobe to see if anybody else is in there either, not realistically. And you might have had a perfectly good booking with a man once only to return back a second time and forget to check the place then wham!
If a man wants to find out about you, he will. If he is determined enough, the internet will provide him with the tools to find all he needs to know eventually. I am not on facebook, I do not twitter, I am a virtual cyber recluse to preserve who I really am. I don't go to family gatherings where I know there will be any form of press coverage (recently an Aunt's milestone birthday where the local paper attended and snapped a ton of photo's and published them).
You will be on the electoral register if you are registered, at your address, real name. If he spots your car and gets your number plate and has a friend who knows a friend, he can get your details off the DVLA - it is more common than you imagine and rarely is it able to be proved if you complain to the DVLA. Land registry - you pay them a small fee and they tell you who owns what house. That is the downside of incalls at home I admit but -
he can happily and easily follow you about for a while and watch where you go, who you see... It's not that difficult to get information on a person.
I work from home and have all the concerns you have, perhaps more concerns as my children also live here which makes any attack on myself from a mad, stalker type man more damaging than if I lived alone without them here also.
If a man is intent on stealing from you, he will do so be you working from home, working from a purpose rented flat, not paying you and going through your bag at an outcall.
All you can do is go through the normal security questions and talk to him before the booking and go with your gut feeling. If an agency is sending you the guys, having never worked for an agency I would suggest you talk to the person in charge there as has been advised above. Perhaps he/she can alleviate your concerns somewhat?
Everything in life is a risk, things are varying degrees of risk. You have to decide how big a risk you wish to take with what you do and how you live. If your too petrified of the risks involved in this then is this the job for you?
Please remember also - not every man is a bad man. It is only a small percentage that will wish to harm you. As long as your wise enough to ask questions and you go with your gut feeling, you should be okay. Keep your wits about you.
If I were in as much fear as you appear to be after reading your post, I would not carry on doing this job, simple as that as I would have lost the ability to feel secure and okay with what I was doing. Nothing is worth it if your afraid, scared or in a panic. No amount of cash is worth that feeling.
Talk to your agency, see where you can go from there.
x
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Very wise words Abby.
And, since I also work from home, I can understand your fears London Girl - it's a real and present danger, but I have rationalised the risk vs reward.
You mentioned having to turn people away, and I have only had to do that once but, above all other incidents, it spooked me and I was on edge for a few days - my agency was supportive though and steps were taken to try to avoid it happening again.
Take care of yourself. Hugs x
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thank u everyone, i really have to think about this incall thing. The thing is i do like this job, im sure it doesnt come across like that ha ha but i really do...ok, so its harder now i have a bf, but the 1 or 2 hour bookings really do go quick for me and i know this wont be forever. But...its the incalls- agency telling me they are a ''regular'' just to put me at ease and for me to agree to a booking- i dont trust them, to be honest most of the the time they DO tell me if a guy is new and they then know i will say no to the incall, but on a few occasions they have lied and said they are regualar good client and turned out he was completely new to the agency- i think those are the times they are really desperate for a girl/everyone else is busy/cant do it/or the agency hasnt made much money that day and need the commision and take the risk...
Ive heard that attacks usually happen to brazilian and eastern european girls, because english girls are more likely to go to the police...but as an english girl, however much i would LOVE to say i would go to the police and acually do it, realistically....i doubt i would. Firstly i guess i would have to tell the truth why they were there in the first place, you'll always be on 'record' as being an 'escort seeing a client', they would probbaly go to my neighbours to find out if they saw/heard anything...what a scandel in my posh apartment block...the next day I JUST KNOW there would be a letter from my landlord asking me to leave (here mostly every one in the building is friends with him) Would anyone actually go to the police?
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London,
Is it possible for you to take a small vacation? I am serious, it sounds like some sun on your lovely lil buns, will get those brain cells firing in good order. You are doing what I call hamstering, you know when they run on the wheel going absolutely no where? You are starting to circular think, and always coming to the same conclusion, you might try stepping away from it, going and taking a break, relax, and rethink things.
Or if that isn't an option, try St. Johns Wort it is great for the stressful moments in our lives. Kisses and Hugs.
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Londongirl,
I'll be talking from personal experience. Been there but survived it. I DO NOT mean to sound lecturing.
Nothing good will come from the situation when you are paranoid like this. You lose control and you can't think straight. When this happens, you are bound to make mistakes and in this business mistakes might cost a lot. So to begin with, take a break just as Violette said. Even if it's just a week-end at your parents.
Secondly, see if you can arrange it with your agencies to be able to call a potential client before they give him your address - along the lines of "this particular lady likes having a chat with her clients beforehand to see what you're looking for so she could be totally ready to meet you" (and most guys will be happy as, like you, they don't know who they are going to see) and then you can call the guy withholding your number and take it from there instead of turning him off at the door - this will infuriate both him and the agency.
I know Violette meant the best for you (and in no way am I stepping on your toes, Violette, but as a qualified herbalist I know that it's a common mistake) but do not take St John's Wort. First of all, it's not a relaxant, it's a stimulant - it's prescribed in depression to make you move. In your state, it's not going to help. Also, it interferes with the effect of the pill (if you take it) and you might want to avoid it. I'd suggest Oats or Passion Flower. You can get Oats glycerol from Holland and Barret (around 5 pounds) or Passiflora complex by A. Vogel/ Bioforce from most other health shops (8-9 pounds). Either will help take the edge off (but your mind may still be going) but it's only a temporary measure as it doesn't treat the cause. For me, hypnotherapy worked a treat and it only took 2 sessions.
Another thing is to try and stop concentrating on the negative. I believe with my whole heart that what you focus on, grows - and it works every time - so when you focus on something bad, guess what grows? Maybe that's why your recent clients looked dodgy. Or maybe, considering how scared you are, you were just reading too much into their actions/ words.
There's another thing I can suggest. When I worked in London, I sometimes used a flat in Victoria for incalls. I know it's not Baker Street, but if you find nothing else, I can give you the phone number for them.
Now, talking about your neighbours and your landlord - you might not believe this, but people who will suspect you of being a sex worker are either regular punters or other escorts. Normal people don't even think about things like this. Even if your neighbours do notice a lot of men coming and going, they will most probably think you are just a promiscuous woman. Or a drug dealer ;D And even if your landlord does find out, he won't necessary kick you out, he might want to come and visit you ;) or just raise the rent. And even if he does want you to go, wouldn't it be good? It gives you a chance to find a better place with better neighbours.
I once worked from a flat that I rented through estate agents and a "friend" of mine was kind to call them and inform of what was going on. So one day I received a letter from them saying that they knew and could I please get in touch with them. This was probably the worst day in my life. Mentally I started packing, but it wasn't the move, it was the conversation that I dreaded. Pulled myself together and called them. As you know, attack is the best form of defence, so I said - are you threatening to kick me out? And the manager went "no-no, not at all, it's just that we were told, but you are definitely staying!" And that was all!
There are a few more things I have to say, but the post is already too long and I can hear you snoring, so I'll shut it, but do let us know what's going on and how you're coping. Best of luck to you.
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Hey Londongirl is it possible for you to leave the agency and work independently? I have been indie for a few months now and i much prefer that i can talk to the guy beforehand to gauge what he s like. I agree with you that its terrifying that these guys robbing and hurting girls no longer fit the 'thug' stereotype and i too have had sleepless nights before worrying about my safety. I have weapons (legal ones) hidden in various places in my flat along with a security camera. Please also remember that money is not worth your safety and peace of mind. Take care xx
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I just recently started doing incalls from home after having not done so in nearly 2 years. In additon, I had only 2 incalls back then.
I know it can make you nervous. Truth be told, I actually do feel safer on outcalls than incalls. I start stashing things in closets, hiding any valuables...I feel like one of these days I might end up forgetting where I put something LOL.
I just feel with outcalls, its a bit easier to either run out the door, or smash and bash their place to smitherines in the event they get stupid. With incalls, you're basically left to fend with whatever's in the house.
But on the bright side...this job is far from 'nightmare on Elm Street'. And truth be told, I bet most clients are more afraid of us than we are of them. We do this all the time, some of them may only do it occasionally. I've met clients who were still trembling while we were going at it!
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Hide something protective in easy reach? (Easy for you to find, not for them, obviously) Don't know if that's a good idea or not, but is the only way I can think to sort something out if there's a problem when someone is already in your place. I've just started doing incalls, and haven't had any problems yet, but then I think I'm quite selective... just in case!
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the only thing missing in this apartment that I had before is an alarm. When I had one, all I'd need to do is press the panic button and the police would be swarming above with helicopters and SWAT team LOL.
Fortunently, I never had to use the alarm. It was just easier to kick someone's ass out than to bring attention from neighbors lol
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Im also a bit cautious of telling my friends about what I do. I stopped telling people what I do because you never know if someone may get vengeful and 'set off a tip'. I dont know how effective that is, but I definently take all aspects of incalls seriously.
I knew a friend who's landlord knew of her working. One day she couldn't come up with the rent and sure enough...the landlord tipped her off and the police ran a sting at her apartment. Thats why Im keeping a hush mouth to people I know