My boy friend found out last night, i am shattered because i love him we are very good together but this has practically killed him. Worst part is he doesn't even know everything. he keeps saying how can i trust you not to do it again and the thing is i don't know that he can atm its my only income and i have one month to save up around 7000.. (oz dollars they pay more over here and its quite do-able here) ANYWAY i could NEVER save that much in a normal job and i am so torn between continuing escorting and lying or stopping and being broke to me that just isn't an option i was always broke growing up so i always make sure i have some money left over. im tempted to work in a brothel and pretend to have a normal job but i just hate them SO F*CK*NG MUCH.
Went slightly off point. My point is its day one of the bf knowing and im cracking up i have no idea what to do. i want to keep working. but i want to keep him. (also we have a massive 4 month holiday planned ((well technically have the next two years penciled out)) and i neither of us want to break up but i know he will if he finds out im still working...
Please ladies and gentlmen any advice would be recomended. even if its not what i want to hear but what i need to hear.
Thanks Jamie xox
I'm really sorry this has happened, shit situation full of stress so hugs for you from me. If I were you I wouldn't have lied in the first place, no judgement though, that's just how I roll, as I couldn't be with someone who doesn't have the same relationship/political/etc views as me, so therefore I would leave him if I
[was in your situation because that stuff is major deal breaker business to me. However, given that this is you, not me, and what has happened has happened, I think you need to consider two things:
Why he is upset - Is it just (not that "just is the right word) the trust thing because he was deceived, is it he can't date a prozzie, does he think prostitution is wrong/immoral?
What is this 7000 for? Is for something you
must pay like a debt, medical care etc. or is it for something personal you probably could do without right now? Or even is it to do with work - a deposit on a work place, not a home place? Because then if you quit you don't really need it of course.
I think you have deceiveed a man that cares about you which makes it so likely things will turn ugly if you deceive him again and he finds out that time too - he could rat you out to family, he could interfere with punters, leave fake bad reviews, anything. I know you love him and I'm sure you feel he is a good man, but hell hath no fury like a man scorned too, not just a woman. We do questionable things when we're hurting.
Also, could you never be friends with him if you broke up to go on holiday with him? Could you swap names on the trip, even for a small fee? His or your friend could go in place of one of you and that way money isn't lost.
You will find the right answer for you when you just consider different factors with clear head - perhaps stepping away from the situation for a few days will give you that.
I'm sorry if my response isn't very cuddly-sounding, I'm a cold'un about my own relationship choices, but I honestly do hope you'll make the right choice for you xx