SAAFE forum
General Category => Questions and Answers => Topic started by: Ana66 on 03 May 2022, 12:20:21 am
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Hi everyone,
Today I did something I've never done before, which is shortening a booking (my own decision this time).
It was a late booking with a guy I've seen once before (lovely guy, young, polite), however I feel that the intercourse was a bit more "hardcore" than last time (a bit "too much" for my taste : guy lasting very long, a bit brutal movements). After he finished, I just didn't feel I had the courage to do it another time (as the client wished) so I said that I would prefer if we shorten the booking into 30min instead of 1h (of course I gave him the difference back so he just paid for the 30min fee).
I feel a bit bad as the client was obviously very disappointed but I didn't want the second round to be bad and force myself.
Have you ever done so ? How do you deal with this ? Do you think I did right or was it unprofessional from my side ?
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As he seems otherwise decent, I'd have probably explained why. Maybe he'd have toned it down the next round, or would at least know for the next time?
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I have never had to shortened a booking, and in the circumstances, you did absolutely the right thing because your comfort is paramount. However, the thing I question is if the client was brutal in his movements and the sex too hardcore for you, why didn’t you ask him to slow down and be more gentle?
Sorry Ana, I don’t mean to turn this around to you but I am just a little perplexed why you did not say anything. I think your inability to speak-up is part of the issue here. Clients are not mind readers - you have to say something if they behave in a way you don’t like or do something you do not enjoy during your time together. At the very least, I would have told this client why I had cut short his time.
Being professional isn’t about remaining mute and enduring something you do not like. Being professional is about communicating clearly to your clients and ensuring they respect your boundaries. Despite your insistence he’s a lovely polite guy, I beg to differ. I would not see him again as I suspect he will try to push for a more hardcore session again, that is unless you tell him.
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I have not done as the OP described (shortened an already agreed length of time) but a handful of times I have endured a longer booking with someone I just did not want to repeat the entire experience with.
So I have accepted a further booking after telling a little porkie i.e. "I can only manage an hour tomorrow so would you be happy with that?" type of message. It has worked out ok so I still made a fee but not had to put up with a repeat of an over the top booking.
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It's happened twice before when they have been unbearable and very rough so i gave back money on a longer booking one was a 2hr and gave him a hour back and one was a 4hr and gave him 2hrs back.
If they are rough or just horrible and it is causing you a problem to put up with them then as long as they get the extra time booked i don't see a problem.
I have seen loads over the years and i hate not earning what i been booked for but in my situation i could not be in there company anymore.
Your situation does not seem as bad as mine but as he was going for it too much that can cause sore problems or cuts so if he was the perfect client you would not want to cut it short.
It's sex and unlike any other job so don't feel bad by saying i cannot go again and refunding the rest. We don't go in this job to get ripped to shreds down below by someone who has watched too many porn movies.
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To answer Kay and Miffy, maybe I didn't mentioned it explicitly enough in my initial post but I actually explained him why I was shortening the booking, and that I found the sex a bit too rough (FYI I had already told him not to pull my hair during the act or not too take pictures (because yes he asked a few times for a pic, without my face but I told him that I don't want any pictures to be taken in any circumstances).
And to be honest even if the event of him becoming a bit softer on the second round, at that point I was already turned off and I really wasn't comfortable doing a round 2.
I think I was clear enough with him (always in a polite way) but it seems that he really too it personally :-[
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Yes English Green, I agree, my situation didn't seem as bad as mine but as you mentioned, at the end of the day it's sex and I think that feeling comfortable with what you're doing is key.
To be honest, I don't think what I've done was that bad/unprofessional especially since I gave some money back + I explained everything in a nice and polite way (but obviously in these kind of circumstances, guys' egos are always triggered :o)
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They take it personally because they cannot believe any sex worker would turn them down especially when they are paying. It shows what they think of us that we put up with anything to be fair some will put up with anything.
So he was not as nice then constantly kept trying to talk you into taking pictures when you kept saying no. He brought it on himself.
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Yes I have a few times
Mostly when they haven’t read my profile and expect me to do services I don’t offer.. what I do now is I only see new clients for 30 mins.. if we get on I will do a hour with them next time..
This way works fine for me and I found it much easier.. it’s awkward when you can’t bare to do the full hour with someone.. so only offering 30 mins for a first meet is a win win I find.
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Of course he took it personally, they do because some think their money buys them the right to treat you however they so wish and it is not for you to tell them no. Tbh, this man should the grateful you refunded his money.
If a client started asking me about taking pictures or being rough with me, I would probably end the session there and then. I would not give him a refund either, but then that’s just me - if someone pays for x time and ends up behaving in a way I would need to end the session early, they are the one who loses out, not me.
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Personally I'd question your definition of "lovely guy" and "polite". From what I read on your post he seems like a boundary pusher. If I had to repeatedly tell a customer not to do something (or not to take photos of me) and he kept insisting I find it disrespectful (not polite), so thats a client I probably wouldnt be seeing again
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If he was been rough and you don’t like such rough play. Best to call it off or tell him to stop.
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Of course he took it personally, they do because some think their money buys them the right to treat you however they so wish and it is not for you to tell them no. Tbh, this man should the grateful you refunded his money.
If a client started asking me about taking pictures or being rough with me, I would probably end the session there and then. I would not give him a refund either, but then that’s just me - if someone pays for x time and ends up behaving in a way I would need to end the session early, they are the one who loses out, not me.
Yes i have kicked people out too for going too far with no refund but then if it's a incall you open yourself up to blackmail and threats of violence which has happened to me too. It's not always easy getting a scum bag out of your place without possibly outing yourself.
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Personally I'd question your definition of "lovely guy" and "polite". From what I read on your post he seems like a boundary pusher. If I had to repeatedly tell a customer not to do something (or not to take photos of me) and he kept insisting I find it disrespectful (not polite), so thats a client I probably wouldnt be seeing again
I had last week with a bit fat guy that would not stop asking over and over for something he was told i do not do and he kept asking too to come to visit me at my home for dates. On the way out he said sorry if i was a bit full on but asked me to call him for dates still. He was someone who thought he could make me uncomfortable by behaving like a spoilt man baby and that behaviour is not a nice person and certainly no gentleman.
When i do get a really nice polite client that understands not to push any boundaries and treat me with respect i am so pleased but it should not be like that it should be standard but unfortnately some guys that pay for sex are the worst types of men out there.
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I've never shortened a booking, although I have had quite a few where I wished it would be over sooner. When I find myself in this situation, I suggest to do something else that is still fun but doesn't push my boundaries. Taking control of the situation makes it more bearable. If the client is still pushing for something I wouldn't do, I try to keep my temper and explain I don't offer certain services, but I can do this instead, would he like it etc. etc. I don't want to come across as unprofessional although I totally understand how in some situations you'd rather get it over with instead of negotiating.
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He's a boundary pushing asshole I agree with others. The 'rough sex defence'...has been an excuse for some appalling assaults and fatalities.
If the OP means have we kicked out clients, yes! If they repeat poor behaviour. Once in a blue moon. Depends on how you interpret 'polite'. I don't swear :) but I am crystal clear and direct. So 'get out now' is as polite they deserve. I'm not responsible for their 'hurty feelings'.
No refund, they fucked up not me.
Outing not bothered me, nor having the police visit. I have to do what's safe.
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This is what I mean with not understanding how the OP thought he was a lovely guy. Obviously I wasnt there to understand the full story but based solely on what I read this would not be a client I'd be seeing again...
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I've put clients out. One for acting bizarrely and asking to take drugs and the other for being a rude prick.
I was very firm and offered no refund. The rude one was problematic and swore at me on the way out but I stood my ground.
This was a few years ago now. My screening is very tight so thankfully I don't usually have problems apart from the odd personality mismatch.
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I ended one where the client was being too rough and going on too long so it was painful. He was very polite on the surface but I could tell he was pumped full of something or other because he was rock hard and 'intense' and seemed as if he was never going to end. In the end I told him I wasn't feeling well. I wish I had been more assertive and told him the real reason but there was something about his manner I didn't trust.
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Yes some time ago I felt unwell during the booking and had to stop unfortunately. He was really understanding
My head was spinning badly .
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Yes I have, I saw him sneakily take off the condom, jumped up and told him to leave. Another time, I didn’t feel comfortable around the client, this time I refunded the difference and shortened it to 30 mins nicely…gave him an excuse that I had an emergency
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I can only think of one occasion when I told the guy I'd had enough and gave him some money back.
I think he may have been on the Autism spectrum, but he could have just been a bossy twat.
Do this/do that/no I don't like that/turn that way/you are leaning on my arm, stop it!" I remember he told me he'd seen other Escorts and it hadn't gone well. I can understand why.
There were a couple of other occasions when the client was high on coke (and fine, but impossible to continue) and drunk on strong brew (a scary, aggressive abusive cunt ) when I made excuses to leave.. and one older bloke who was simply horrible with me.
Told me to shut up, get on my knees and do what he is paying me to do (not a role play and it came from nowhere)
On all of these occasions I made excuses and left, no money back.
The abusive guys were reported.