Quote from: 1Lilly1 on 29 May 2011, 05:07:14 pm

He?s seen working girls before but he?s very clear that he doesn?t respect women in this profession.

Ick. He's a hypocrite, then, and is/was probably quite an unpleasant punter. Is there something about him that makes him a great boyfriend? Did he literally bonk prossies and then tell them he thought they were dirt? Or was it more of a general attitude thing? Maybe you could ask him about that!

I've never heard of a boyfriend being happy upon suddenly finding out his partner's sex industry job; men will sometimes be excited to start dating a prossie (cos they think it'll be all anal gangbangs all day long or something) and sometimes (even more rarely) they'll learn to deal with it in the long term. But as far as I know that usually only happens when the partner was involved with the decision-making process before anything got started - when they find out much later, they are usually angry and I can sympathise (as long as they don't get violent about it, but that's usually only something that someone who is already an abuser will do).

You've said yourself (see quote above) that you know exactly what he's thinking - or what he would think, if he knew for sure, so I'd gather your wits and prepare for a breakup. You'll be fine as you're likely the smarter and more level-headed one (I'm guessing you don't look down on people you've paid for services!); just watch out for possible over-reaction on his part as he's perhaps not so good with the logic/sympathy/understanding.

And although I was rather harsh in my post above, you did say that he's not spoken to you for a bit (because of being upset, presumably) so although this isn't the most enjoyable thing for you, it may be that he is actually acting in the best way by going off to think things over rather than hurling abuse at you etc. This is all assuming that he does somehow know about your job and that he does have a problem with it - if you read some of the other threads on this forum, you'll see some of the behaviour that working women endure from their partners and it's far worse than a bit of a silence.

So it could be that he doesn't know and is just off trying to sort his head out in a mature way (i.e. without dragging you into a bunch of horrid arguments that go in pointless circles because they're entirely based on insecurities and fears and other things that can't be fixed by shouting insults), or it could be that he does know and is off doing the same thing. Definitely do prepare yourself for the worst but also prepare yourself to listen if he comes back to you with an honest (and polite and respectful!) need to talk, if you want to listen.

The thing about him not really respecting escorts despite having paid for sex (having an ex-girlfriend there at the time makes no difference) really alarms me because people who have these sorts of dreadful double-standards are often pretty unpleasant to be around for one reason or another. But as I said, maybe his current silence is so that he can think these things through and figure it out sensibly. I wouldn't recommend trying to interrupt him too soon!

On the other hand, if his silence is to "punish" you, then you may have to look at the rather unenjoyable but inevitable task of taking off those rose-tinted glasses. ((hugs)) But as I said, you'll be okay if you stay level-headed as much as you can.