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Author Topic: Disabled clients  (Read 2218 times)

English Green

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Re: Disabled clients
« Reply #15 on: 17 September 2020, 08:40:14 pm »
Salty i have seen a couple 1 inch and one had about half an inch he was a really fat guy with huge balls and basically no penis. The penis was hidden in the balls. Nothing could be done with that but a little finger relief, i asked him if he had family/ kids he had no kids he was about 55 years of age. The normal way would not work with him.

saltysweet

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Re: Disabled clients
« Reply #16 on: 18 September 2020, 12:02:43 am »
OMG that's quite extreme! I read that it's hidden in the folds and fat layers but may be normal size in some cases and be sorted by weight loss. So he's possibly got double-dis I guess if you classify gross obesity as a disability.

I object to the non disclosure EG and I know it's not realistic to expect it I guess. I'm not as tolerant as I used to be, as the majority of these sessions are stressful as a fair amount have erectile issues too which makes it a joyless task. Not to be repeated.
« Last Edit: 18 September 2020, 12:11:07 am by saltysweet »

Saffy

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Re: Disabled clients
« Reply #17 on: 18 September 2020, 12:17:20 am »
A lot of very obese men have very small willys. I have never seen a morbidly obese man with a big willy. Big ones are usually found on the skinny guy.

Even on a regular sized guy I have seen some dicks that look like they belong on a two year old.

Some that could go in the Guiness Book of Records...

Marianne

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Re: Disabled clients
« Reply #18 on: 18 September 2020, 06:12:29 pm »
I've known Tuppy Owens the co-founder of TLC disability trust for many years and attended her charity events for yonks. So disability-sexual issues aren't new to me.

I have seen one chap twice and I found it distressing and unhygenic. Constant dribbling and he wanted to kiss. He had extreme trembling which I find disturbing. He then stalked me for a year on the phone with different numbers and pretending he hadn't seen me before.

I've also seen a chap who has Parkinson's tremors but I didn't have to service him as he was a voyeur and I was a member of his 'crew'. That was fine as he and his partner were amazing hosts.

Another was a wheelchair user with no limbs who was a prominent abusive reviewer and used his 'disabilty' to emotionally blackmail SWs into doing services above and beyond what they advertised. They were traumatised. Knowing his rep as a seasoned manipulater I refused to see him despite some persuasive calls.

I've also seen a couple of young, well behaved wheelchair users who were fine, one offs, who I'd happily see again.
Generally I would not choose to see a disabled person as I find it too depressing.

I'm so sorry to hear these experiences happened to you. I am known quite well by Tuppy and am taking over the running of the TLC website and have included some clear guidance in the 'more info' section that no-body  probably ever reads about how clients should treat and approach workers. Unfortunately - some clients are arseholes, able bodied or not.

I'd hope now that providers would contact me if they have any issues with clients - in fact a couple already have. Tuppy is still going strong(ish) writing her biography which I'm sure will be fascinating!
MM xx

Marianne

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Re: Disabled clients
« Reply #19 on: 18 September 2020, 06:14:09 pm »
Thanks for starting this I enjoy seeing disabled (and some people have different definitions of disabled) clients,  take a sense of pride from being able to do so and have met some really good people/clients/punters this way. However I also find both sides can be vulnerable, and disability does not preclude a person from being rude, offensive, disrespectful or a timewaster.

Also the extra detail required can be time consuming, good communication I find is essential and I won't hesitate to turn someone down if they are disrespectful or won't give the basic details required of anyone for any booking.

In some respects I think it would be useful to share experiences, however I don't know how this can be done on a forum without risking confidentiality. Some disabilities, in fact many are very individual.

I agree - I'm the admin of the TLC site currently and am in discussion with our web designer if we can have a private forum for providers on there to overcome just this issue. I'll keep you posted x
MM xx

Marianne

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Re: Disabled clients
« Reply #20 on: 18 September 2020, 07:10:15 pm »
I'm so sad to hear all the negative experiences on this thread. I 100% agree it is totally a personal choice if you are willing to see disabled clients or not.

My mother was a wheelchair user my whole life and I'm an ex carer and social worker and felt that there was a real lack of understanding of the sexual needs of disabled people (not just men) in the health and social care setting. That's why I got involved with The Outsiders Trust and TLC.

I certainly would refuse to do many of the things mentioned here but most I am happy to deal with and if booked through an agency or support service, which I often do, I can make sure I have all the information I need before hand. There are as many disabled arseholes as able bodied arseholes, you just have to stick to your boundaries. I have seen very few disabled clients that I wouldn't see again and the main reasons are the neediness which I address directly with them. Some people just can't be communicated with so I suggest they get someone to help them.

I feel like I'm offering something more valuable when I see a disabled client - especially those who are so disabled that we are their only option to have a sexual/sensual experience. Or sometimes kinky! But whatever it is I use exactly the same communication and boundaries as I do with all clients - actually not entirely true - sometimes you do have to be more adaptable and it takes a little more time but I don't mind. I'd already emptied enough cathaters and wiped poo off arses for minimum wage in the past so I'm happy to. Each to their own but I was just hoping for more positive responses :(
MM xx

amy

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Re: Disabled clients
« Reply #21 on: 18 September 2020, 07:53:19 pm »
Can we keep the TLC site-specific stuff to the dedicated thread please? This one is on the general discussion board and needs to stay on topic :).

amy

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Re: Disabled clients
« Reply #22 on: 18 September 2020, 08:05:27 pm »
Each to their own but I was just hoping for more positive responses :(

Well I've had plenty of positive experiences with disabled punters, but a punter is a punter is a punter as far as I'm concerned (although as a disabled person I do have some insight into being treated like I'm bloody simple just because I experience some things differently to most other people) :)

ALL punters have their individual needs, wants and limitations, and it's up to me whether or not I can accommodate them. And as some other posters have found, having a disability doesn't preclude anybody from behaving like a dick and the prevailing idea that anybody with additional needs of any kind must be some kind of saintly (and asexual) being is incredibly patronising and very naive. They want sex and I want money :D

Kay

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Re: Disabled clients
« Reply #23 on: 18 September 2020, 08:37:53 pm »
I think one issue is lack of disclosure. I understand that especially if you've lived with a disability from birth (and thus perhaps been slightly infantilised) you may find it awkward to discuss your sexual needs, but it can make things tricky for the escort if you don't. You just don't know how someone is going to react to e.g. a stoma, and there are also practical issues, like access and mobility. I saw a client with a prosthetic limb, but I'd warned him about my stairs and he was fine - it was a lovely straightforward booking. I just feel it's extra important to have a full and frank discussion before any booking.
"There is no sin except stupidity" - Oscar Wilde

KirstyKiss

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Re: Disabled clients
« Reply #24 on: 19 September 2020, 06:08:31 pm »
Lack of disclosure was the problem(s) I have had in the past. These include an incontinent,  nappy-wearing client who expected owo. Bizarrely, 2 years later he turned up again (different number) and I sent him away.

I've had several over the years including one guy who is autistic (among other things) and spends his benefit money on 2 hour bookings. I've seen him twice and he has an AW account but it just doesn't feel right to me. (The bookings were about a year apart).

I had a client recently who had cerebral palsy and he asked me if he should have disclosed his condition and I told him I would have preferred it if he had. He was lovely. When I had a work flat I saw a few clients with disabilities because they disclosed their conditions and I could accommodate them. (I couldn't have accommodated wheelchair users as my work flat was a maisonette with the stairs from hell!)

Disclosure is definitely the issue for me so that I can manage their expectations.