SAAFE forum
General Category => Questions and Answers => Topic started by: Marianne on 14 September 2020, 11:09:00 am
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Hi, just wondering how many of you see disabled clients on a regular basis and if you have any questions or issues around this?
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I've known Tuppy Owens the co-founder of TLC disability trust for many years and attended her charity events for yonks. So disability-sexual issues aren't new to me.
I have seen one chap twice and I found it distressing and unhygenic. Constant dribbling and he wanted to kiss. He had extreme trembling which I find disturbing. He then stalked me for a year on the phone with different numbers and pretending he hadn't seen me before.
I've also seen a chap who has Parkinson's tremors but I didn't have to service him as he was a voyeur and I was a member of his 'crew'. That was fine as he and his partner were amazing hosts.
Another was a wheelchair user with no limbs who was a prominent abusive reviewer and used his 'disabilty' to emotionally blackmail SWs into doing services above and beyond what they advertised. They were traumatised. Knowing his rep as a seasoned manipulater I refused to see him despite some persuasive calls.
I've also seen a couple of young, well behaved wheelchair users who were fine, one offs, who I'd happily see again.
Generally I would not choose to see a disabled person as I find it too depressing.
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Thanks for starting this I enjoy seeing disabled (and some people have different definitions of disabled) clients, take a sense of pride from being able to do so and have met some really good people/clients/punters this way. However I also find both sides can be vulnerable, and disability does not preclude a person from being rude, offensive, disrespectful or a timewaster.
Also the extra detail required can be time consuming, good communication I find is essential and I won't hesitate to turn someone down if they are disrespectful or won't give the basic details required of anyone for any booking.
In some respects I think it would be useful to share experiences, however I don't know how this can be done on a forum without risking confidentiality. Some disabilities, in fact many are very individual.
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When I worked for an agency then I got sent to a job and the guy was a paraplegic and his carer had made the booking but she didn’t say he was a paraplegic, I guess she thinks, like many people, that we escorts just go with anybody that is willing to pay.
Anyway I got quite a shock when I got to the job and if I had have been told beforehand then I wouldn’t have agreed to it, that agency boss was quite good in leaving it up to us when it came to disabled clients (she was an escort before and she didn’t like doing disabled ones so this is why I think) and so I told her when I got back to the office that the man could only move his head, his penis worked but I just felt...I don’t want to say what I felt as I know I’ll offend people...but I definitely didn’t feel comfortable with him but in no way, shape or form did I let him know this, I felt sorry for him as he wasn’t mentally disabled and we did have a good giggle etc but sexually then I just felt...not good.
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I have seen some disabled clients from really disabled no limbs to less disabled. Some were fine but i found some too needy and too much hard work and hygiene was shocking. One client thought it was my job to wash him including shitty arse on arrival says he do not wash unless someone does it for him but said none of this on the phone plus stunk of piss all over him.
I have seen one with missing leg from bike accident he was fine no problem. But really disabled no, not worth the anxiety, stress for me.
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I have seen some disabled clients from really disabled no limbs to less disabled. Some were fine but i found some too needy and too much hard work and hygiene was shocking. One client thought it was my job to wash him including shitty arse on arrival says he do not wash unless someone does it for him but said none of this on the phone plus stunk of piss all over him.
I have seen one with missing leg from bike accident he was fine no problem. But really disabled no, not worth the anxiety, stress for me.
They are very needy and I can’t be bothered with it, when I worked in the parlour then we were always told if a client didn’t have the ability to wash themselves then we should do it and when I first started working I remember saying “I’m not a home help for Fucksake” and now if I had a client like that then he would be told to leave, that’s over and above what we should be doing, I’m paid to have sex with them, not wash them, even if it’s for my own benefit to wash them then I’m just not doing so, it’s fucking degrading as hell having to do that, these ones aren’t even embarrassed that grown women have to wash them.
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I have seen some disabled clients from really disabled no limbs to less disabled. Some were fine but i found some too needy and too much hard work and hygiene was shocking. One client thought it was my job to wash him including shitty arse on arrival says he do not wash unless someone does it for him but said none of this on the phone plus stunk of piss all over him.
I have seen one with missing leg from bike accident he was fine no problem. But really disabled no, not worth the anxiety, stress for me.
??? did you do him?
is it actually a legit poo perve he gets off on?
I did a client with a colostomy bag but he explained on the phone they were smaller and dinkier than years ago size of a passport and didn't smell. It was fine and he'd be welcome again.
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??? did you do him?
is it actually a legit poo perve he gets off on?
I did a client with a colostomy bag but explained on the phone they were smaller and dinkier than years ago size of a passport and didn't smell. It was fine and he'd be welcome again.
I refused to wash him. Plus he played down his disability completely. I demanded money first as i knew what his game was. He tried to under pay then wanted longer time. He had to go and wash his own shitty arse but never did a good job.
I said to him you should explain your disability so we know the situation and you get the right person. His response was why should i? if i am paying i do not need to explain. Then he said it's discrimination to turn me away. I said this is a intimate service not like any other job and nobody should be forced to service someone sexually if they are uncomfortable. He just sneered. As soon as time was up on the dot i left. He was very self entiltled and not a nice man. I also think he wanted to shock me with his shitty arse.
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Max manipulation..
Oh you were at his crib gosh! I applaud your professional grit going through with it. I'd have collected my money and jogged on.
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Max manipulation..
Oh you were at his gosh! I applaud your professional grit going through with it. I'd have collected my money and jogged on.
He only ended up with hand relief and that was bad enough. He kept delaying it deliberately so he ended up not finishing and as my time was up i was off. He was a horrible person and said another escort gave him 2 hrs for price of 1 hr. I doubt that happened but if it did it was probably because he intimidated her.
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You're a goddess! :-X
Crunts who happen to be disabled?
or
Disabled who happen to be crunts?
Oh I nearly forgot I have an occassional regular client who's blind and facially disfigured from an awful accident. He didn't reveal prior so it was a big shock. We get on well, adorable person. Polite, groomed to the tits and as easy going as you can get. I always leave with good vibes.
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When I first started working at an agency we had to go anywhere we was told really & I had to go & see a client who was about 85 with a zimmerframe & incontinent. I was about 19 at the time & I think I actually cried about how vile it was
I also seen a guy who had Parkinson’s & had to undress & dress him & I also felt awful after that so I won’t ever see disabled clients, he was a nice man but I just feel if something makes me feel awful after I definitely should give it a miss
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This may sound nasty to some but I feel really degraded when I have to go with someone disabled, be it physically and/or mentally, there is something really awful about it when they aren’t quite right mentally and I don’t mean mentally unwell, this isn’t obvious all the time anyway, but I mean when they have serious developmental delays, like a child in a mans body yet he still has sexual desires, it’s horrible and I’ve been sick once with a man like this that came into the sauna where I was, I wanted to scream at the boss that it almost a form of abuse to these types as they don’t seem of legal age sometimes and she used to let any fucker in, greedy bitch that she was.
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I wonder if micro-penis is an official disability? I've seen a few and it makes me deeply uncomfortable. Particularly if they expect to have a 'regular' service. They are being totally unrealistic. Even with oral the immature appearance is disturbing to me. They are not invited back.
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I wonder if micro-penis is an official disability? I've seen a few and it makes me deeply uncomfortable. Particularly if they expect to have a 'regular' service. They are being totally unrealistic. Even with oral the immature appearance is disturbing. They are not invited back.
Ditto - it's expecting to have penetrative sex when even the smallest condom will slip off that gets me.
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Salty i have seen a couple 1 inch and one had about half an inch he was a really fat guy with huge balls and basically no penis. The penis was hidden in the balls. Nothing could be done with that but a little finger relief, i asked him if he had family/ kids he had no kids he was about 55 years of age. The normal way would not work with him.
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OMG that's quite extreme! I read that it's hidden in the folds and fat layers but may be normal size in some cases and be sorted by weight loss. So he's possibly got double-dis I guess if you classify gross obesity as a disability.
I object to the non disclosure EG and I know it's not realistic to expect it I guess. I'm not as tolerant as I used to be, as the majority of these sessions are stressful as a fair amount have erectile issues too which makes it a joyless task. Not to be repeated.
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A lot of very obese men have very small willys. I have never seen a morbidly obese man with a big willy. Big ones are usually found on the skinny guy.
Even on a regular sized guy I have seen some dicks that look like they belong on a two year old.
Some that could go in the Guiness Book of Records...
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I've known Tuppy Owens the co-founder of TLC disability trust for many years and attended her charity events for yonks. So disability-sexual issues aren't new to me.
I have seen one chap twice and I found it distressing and unhygenic. Constant dribbling and he wanted to kiss. He had extreme trembling which I find disturbing. He then stalked me for a year on the phone with different numbers and pretending he hadn't seen me before.
I've also seen a chap who has Parkinson's tremors but I didn't have to service him as he was a voyeur and I was a member of his 'crew'. That was fine as he and his partner were amazing hosts.
Another was a wheelchair user with no limbs who was a prominent abusive reviewer and used his 'disabilty' to emotionally blackmail SWs into doing services above and beyond what they advertised. They were traumatised. Knowing his rep as a seasoned manipulater I refused to see him despite some persuasive calls.
I've also seen a couple of young, well behaved wheelchair users who were fine, one offs, who I'd happily see again.
Generally I would not choose to see a disabled person as I find it too depressing.
I'm so sorry to hear these experiences happened to you. I am known quite well by Tuppy and am taking over the running of the TLC website and have included some clear guidance in the 'more info' section that no-body probably ever reads about how clients should treat and approach workers. Unfortunately - some clients are arseholes, able bodied or not.
I'd hope now that providers would contact me if they have any issues with clients - in fact a couple already have. Tuppy is still going strong(ish) writing her biography which I'm sure will be fascinating!
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Thanks for starting this I enjoy seeing disabled (and some people have different definitions of disabled) clients, take a sense of pride from being able to do so and have met some really good people/clients/punters this way. However I also find both sides can be vulnerable, and disability does not preclude a person from being rude, offensive, disrespectful or a timewaster.
Also the extra detail required can be time consuming, good communication I find is essential and I won't hesitate to turn someone down if they are disrespectful or won't give the basic details required of anyone for any booking.
In some respects I think it would be useful to share experiences, however I don't know how this can be done on a forum without risking confidentiality. Some disabilities, in fact many are very individual.
I agree - I'm the admin of the TLC site currently and am in discussion with our web designer if we can have a private forum for providers on there to overcome just this issue. I'll keep you posted x
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I'm so sad to hear all the negative experiences on this thread. I 100% agree it is totally a personal choice if you are willing to see disabled clients or not.
My mother was a wheelchair user my whole life and I'm an ex carer and social worker and felt that there was a real lack of understanding of the sexual needs of disabled people (not just men) in the health and social care setting. That's why I got involved with The Outsiders Trust and TLC.
I certainly would refuse to do many of the things mentioned here but most I am happy to deal with and if booked through an agency or support service, which I often do, I can make sure I have all the information I need before hand. There are as many disabled arseholes as able bodied arseholes, you just have to stick to your boundaries. I have seen very few disabled clients that I wouldn't see again and the main reasons are the neediness which I address directly with them. Some people just can't be communicated with so I suggest they get someone to help them.
I feel like I'm offering something more valuable when I see a disabled client - especially those who are so disabled that we are their only option to have a sexual/sensual experience. Or sometimes kinky! But whatever it is I use exactly the same communication and boundaries as I do with all clients - actually not entirely true - sometimes you do have to be more adaptable and it takes a little more time but I don't mind. I'd already emptied enough cathaters and wiped poo off arses for minimum wage in the past so I'm happy to. Each to their own but I was just hoping for more positive responses :(
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Can we keep the TLC site-specific stuff to the dedicated thread please? This one is on the general discussion board and needs to stay on topic :).
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Each to their own but I was just hoping for more positive responses :(
Well I've had plenty of positive experiences with disabled punters, but a punter is a punter is a punter as far as I'm concerned (although as a disabled person I do have some insight into being treated like I'm bloody simple just because I experience some things differently to most other people) :)
ALL punters have their individual needs, wants and limitations, and it's up to me whether or not I can accommodate them. And as some other posters have found, having a disability doesn't preclude anybody from behaving like a dick and the prevailing idea that anybody with additional needs of any kind must be some kind of saintly (and asexual) being is incredibly patronising and very naive. They want sex and I want money :D
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I think one issue is lack of disclosure. I understand that especially if you've lived with a disability from birth (and thus perhaps been slightly infantilised) you may find it awkward to discuss your sexual needs, but it can make things tricky for the escort if you don't. You just don't know how someone is going to react to e.g. a stoma, and there are also practical issues, like access and mobility. I saw a client with a prosthetic limb, but I'd warned him about my stairs and he was fine - it was a lovely straightforward booking. I just feel it's extra important to have a full and frank discussion before any booking.
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Lack of disclosure was the problem(s) I have had in the past. These include an incontinent, nappy-wearing client who expected owo. Bizarrely, 2 years later he turned up again (different number) and I sent him away.
I've had several over the years including one guy who is autistic (among other things) and spends his benefit money on 2 hour bookings. I've seen him twice and he has an AW account but it just doesn't feel right to me. (The bookings were about a year apart).
I had a client recently who had cerebral palsy and he asked me if he should have disclosed his condition and I told him I would have preferred it if he had. He was lovely. When I had a work flat I saw a few clients with disabilities because they disclosed their conditions and I could accommodate them. (I couldn't have accommodated wheelchair users as my work flat was a maisonette with the stairs from hell!)
Disclosure is definitely the issue for me so that I can manage their expectations.