So I had my first client last night. I was very nervous, and he turned out to be an extremely attractive, young, single man with lots of experience using escort services which didn't exactly help to calm my nerves much despite me being turned on by him.

I entered into the situation doing and saying the things I've been told to in this forum/by my agency owner but tried not to seem too tacky. We had a friendly but not terribly interesting conversation and then pretty quickly got down to business. He appeared to really be enjoying all of the sexual stuff and so was I, I tried to communicate openly with him the whole time and what not.

So all of that was good and normal and nice. But here's the kind of discouraging part. I was under the impression that he would be paying compliments to me and what not, based on other peoples experiences and advice. However he made no comments on my appearance or skills whatsoever, and I consider myself to be an attractive girl so that wasn't a great thing to experience. However I understand all clients are different and maybe he's just not the type to compliment escorts so I tried keeping that in mind. At the end of the booking we were laying in bed talking and he said "so, do you have any questions for me??" and I was like "I don't know, is there something I should be asking :p" and he said "well, usually escorts ask how they did." so I said okay, "how did I do then?"

He says, "to be honest you initial entry seemed really scripted and unnatural. I could tell you were nervous. Try to just be yourself." I thanked him for the constructive criticism and explained that yes, I was nervous and it was difficult to be natural since it was my first time. I asked if it got better as the booking went on and he said "yeah, I mean the sex was good and all."

So we parted ways and I got into the car feeling kind of like....ouch. You know? He wasn't particularly rude or anything, I guess I just really really wasn't expecting my first booking to be so...critical? I was hoping the client would be a bit more reassuring and kind towards me though I realize now that might have been a bit of an unrealistic expectation. Overall I feel a bit burned and intimidated by him. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad he gave me that criticism because it will be helpful for next time, it's just that he didn't say one positive thing about me and it kind of blows.

It's probably worth mentioning that he knew it was my first time and my agency owner let him see me for free to try me out (the agency paid me) so perhaps he felt that was the best way to introduce a newbie, with a bit of tough love.

Overall I don't feel horribly disrespected or awful, just a bit discouraged and like "you suck, Brooklyn".

Any stories, similar experiences, advice or criticism is welcomed. Basically I just want to know if this is the type of dynamic I should be expecting or if most clients are a bit more reassuring and sweet. Ive been told that an escorts first client experience is supposed to make her feel at ease, but that's not how I feel right now and I don't know if I'm just being oversensitive or if this would be a bummer situation for you folks too.

Thanks!!

If he knew it was your first time then that was a little mean. I cant say I've had any guys ever say at the end "so any questions for me - like how you did". Sounds like he's young "good looking" and knows it with an attitude to match.

Relax and trust me you'll get used to the fact some guys say very little full stop. The nerves will hopefully go in time, try to take more control as some guys will be equally nervous and need you to be confident for them lol

I'm so sorry you got him as your first he sounds like the sort of guy who would also want a break down of his own performance but wait he already knows he's good!  

Sounds like  as he was told it was your first time, he set it as a sort of exam and thought you wanted some feedback, mentally marking you like a driving examiner

Really do not worry about it, you will get all sorts, some won't  say a word, some will chat the whole time, some will say that was great, some will just get up and leave,  some will be fit some will be fat  

It's probably worth mentioning that he knew it was my first time and my agency owner let him see me for free to try me out (the agency paid me) so perhaps he felt that was the best way to introduce a newbie, with a bit of tough love.

Um. WTF? Who is this guy that the agency owner is buying him sexual services?! He must have some sort of special arrangement/relationship with them, and that is definitely NOT the normal thing to happen. Have the agency definitely paid you? And did they tell you that you might expect him to be a bit of an a***hole due to his sense of entitlement?

On the other hand, as Anika said, this job can be a great self-esteem boost sometimes as we can be very complimented by some of the lovely gentlemen we see, but you really do need to not allow your self-esteem to be tied to your work - this might be good practice for that, although I'm sorry it's such an icky process emotionally. Because even when we get compliments, they don't necessarily mean anything (see: "You should charge more! I would pay double or triple for an hour with a goddess like yourself! Please, marry me!" etc etc - none of this should be heeded without a good long think about the reality of things and YOUR personal preferences, outside of the heat of the moment) and the same goes with the kind of "constructive criticism" that you received from Mr Wonderpants or whoever he is.

And in all fairness, even if Mr Wonderpants likes xyz and he hates abc, Mr Politegentleman might have the opposite preferences so keep an open mind and don't dwell on negative details. And who is silly enough to think a newbie isn't going to be slightly awkward/uncomfortable at first?! I don't think any of the newbie-hunters who booked me when I was new minded that I had no clue what I was doing! They just wanted a naive young thing so that they could get away with being a bit annoying (or a lot worse, occasionally), on the whole. Which is what it is, but it would be nice if agencies would give you a bit of information on the clients that they know they're sending you to, just so you could be prepared.

Pfft. "Usually escorts ask how they did". LOL! What he meant was, "Now it's time for you to grovel at my feet because I only feel like a big man if the sex worker I'm paying [or not!] is clearly insecure about her performance." He's a very typical example of a Client With Issues. I say, let it all go: ignore everything he said and everything that happened. You're allowed to be new for more than one booking so experience the next few with an open mind and as much confidence that you can muster after that stupid git - don't let him ruin your work or your encounters with other clients, 99% of whom will be FAR more pleasant than him.

Sorry. It's not that constructive criticism isn't helpful - definitely pay attention to your clients' needs and desires and stay openly communicative during appts, like you were doing. But if someone responds by purposefully making you feel small? Then he's a total cretin. "Yeah, I mean, the sex was good and all"? That's not helpful, that's just him trying to make you feel bad.

I'd rather have a fat old jolly client who knows how he likes to enjoy himself, gives me plenty of clues about what to do for him and just has a great time with lots of smiles and laughs and general positivity than some young-ish guy who thinks he's better than me (and thinks he needs to prove it by insulting me) ANY day of the week! Looks =/= manners.

And trust me, like Krystal said, I think most of us have a bit of a script for the initial part of a booking - you don't want to just be standing there staring awkwardly at each other while you say, "Er, money now, please, I think?" and he says, "Um, erm, ah, yup?" I think it's much better to have a general plan for meeting someone new and settling yourselves both down comfortably (or rushing yourselves into the shower & bedroom if it's a quickie ) so that you can A) get the business (?) out of the way without awkwardness and B) help him to feel calm and relaxed because you know what you're doing. Many guys will look to you for guidance and as long as the sex stuff isn't scripted (i.e. you wouldn't want to go ahead and do massage-oral-cowgirl without checking his cues as to whether or not that's what he wants) I really don't see a problem.

Are you going to ask your agency why they paid for some idiot to see you without any warning as to what to expect from his ridiculous attitude? Perhaps ask them if you can expect more of the same from your next clients. And maybe ask them where they're finding their clients, since I haven't met anyone unpleasant since I manned-up my screening processes and allowed it to fully sink in that my job does NOT entail seeing anyone who feels like calling me. Only the ones who feel like calling me and being polite and respectful at all times. ...Perhaps double-check with your agency precisely what their screening processes are, if they indeed have any and aren't just a front for supplying naive newbies to horrible creeps?

(Ahem. Rant over now. I promise.)

I would be thinking very hard if I wanted to work for an agency like that, I am Indy anyway.

I've never asked how I did... I would hope somebody would tell me there and then if something was wrong or they were unhappy, but I've never said "How was I?"

I've asked mid-BJ, "Do you like that?" but that's quite a different thing!

There isn't much point of post-booking feedback in our job; either a client tells us he prefers certain sex acts performed in a certain way while we still have time to accommodate his wishes, or he has a random rant at the end of an appointment about which we can do nothing.

The only reason he might have that random rant is either because he's a bit foolish, or because he thinks he can, by attacking the sex worker's confidence, get her to agree to reduce her price/increase her services, or possibly just make himself feel better because he's not very nice. Now, the vast majority of clients are not fools (and the vast majority aren't mean, either, so either of the kinds I'm mentioning here are thankfully rare!) but the latter type are not unknown. I would be suspicious of a client wanting to talk about how I'm not-quite-good-enough-for-him when it's too late for me to try to do better; I'd reckon he didn't really have my best interests at heart!

It's one thing to say "You weren't as good as I was" (which is basically what he's saying) but another to say "Ask me what I thought" first! File under never-to-be-seen-again prat.

As far as compliments go, I took the attitude that the biggest compliment is that they're prepared to pay to get me, especially if they did it more than once. Anything else from them was a bonus, but not expected. In my experience, there's more of an expectation that you'll complement them. I tried to keep that honest, but not everyone does.

I think that it's not necessarily what the client said or didn't say which triggered these feelings in you, but the mere fact that it was your first time having sex for money. Or maybe it's just how I see things from my experince. I had a nice, normal man as a first client, everything went smoothly, he didn't do or say anything out or the norm for a perfect gentleman, but after "it" I had these unsettling feeling of discomfort similar to what you describe in your post. It probably was just the novelty factor of being an escort. All this emotional storm settled in 2-3 days and I started to feel good about being an escort and no longer have indefinable feelings of discomfort.

Just take your time and let your feelings settle and then see how you feel in a few days about it, chances are you will be confident, happy with the money and eager to do it again.