Hi Everyone,

I'm Rosabella and I'm new to this forum. I've come here because I'm considering becoming an escort but I'm really struggling to decide if it's the right choice for me so I thought I would find input from people here very useful.

I'm a pre-op trans woman [MtF] in my early twenties, considering becoming an escort because I ended up with lots of student debt, no degree, no work experiences, and no real skills that I could get a career out of. I've been thinking of being an escort for a few months now. The money is of course my main motivation but I'm also somewhat interested in the sex and I feel I'd enjoy the job more than many other min wage jobs that I could get. I also like the idea of being independent and having complete control over when I work.

I'm from England and I was born and have lived here my whole life, however, one of my parents was from Asia so I am only half-white (and half-Han Chinese). I'm a bit worried this could negatively impact a SW career and I'm not sure how I should advertise myself in this regard if you know what I mean. I'm more or less fully English culturally, speak with an English accent, and English is the only language that I speak to a conversational level.

I'm actually still a virgin despite my age, so I'm nervous about getting started, but on the other hand do I get to charge a premium for my first customer (probably not I guess since I can't prove it)?

I won't disclose exactly where in England I live, I don't live in London, I live in a fairly major town that's close enough to London that I could do day trips there (via train). A problem is that I'm currently staying in my parents' house, and as long as I'm living here, it won't be feasible to take incalls. I also don't drive and don't own a vehicle - is this a big problem? I'm scared to take driving lessons. Also, if I take outcalls, would I cover transport and hotel costs, or would those be on the clients?

My parents aren't making me pay rent, so as long as I live with them I could get by if I made £8,000 a year (after tax, student loan, and work expenses, but before any living costs), though if I were to move out I might be looking at more like £20,000 a year to get by.

I'm completely drug-free, alcohol-free, and smoke-free and plan to keep it that way forever, I've heard that good advise is to avoid any drinks or food that clients offer?

I have never been tested for STIs, but afaik, I've never had any. I intend to always use condoms and take prep. Will having a lot of anal sex lead to many health problems?

My family knows I've been thinking about escorting, and they're very against it, primarily for the reason that they believe the job to be extremely dangerous (selling and buying sex are both legal in England, but I think they're referring to violence from clients.) Are they right? If not, how can I persuade them?

At the moment, I'm very much leaning towards being an independent escort rather than working with an escort agency. However, that makes me concerned about having to handle photos, advertising, and appointments myself.

I am scared that I could make a big investment (in time and money) into getting started, such as paying for pictures, sexy clothes (I don't have too much trouble getting clothes in my size, but shoes on the other hand are very hard to get as I have massive feet), advertising, and a work phone (would I also need to get a separate work laptop?), only to end up with little or no clients.


I'm sorry for asking so many questions, but I would be absolutely grateful if anybody could help me decide if becoming an escort is the right choice for me.

Many thanks,
Rosabella

What they said, but there is a market for 'have my virginity'.

It's not been in the news in the past few years - when SAAFE was newer, there would be an outraged story in the tabloids or a more sympathetic one in a 'true lives' magazine every year, but I would be amazed if there were no longer clients for this

The trans aspect means there will be fewer, but there will be some. Whatever price you were thinking of charging, add at least one zero, and be very fussy. If they push boundaries beforehand, they will push boundaries during and you really, really do not want that.

Alternatively, sex doesn't have to mean anal.

Price is more about marketing than anything else. Here, you have something that you can market. Many cis women virgins do not have any physical signs of their virginity, but some have been able to get clients for losing it. Having a story to tell looks like it helps.

You could..
.. offer to fuck them with a strap-on dildo
.. or tie them to the bed and give them a really intense hand job
.. or..

It's a lot easier to avoid being fucked by clients if you are male or trans.

Hi Faye and xw5, and thanks very much for taking the time to help.

Faye, I understand your concern. Sadly though I've always really struggled to get a relationship, and until I started considering sex work I always thought I'd save sex until I had a proper relationship, but all my life I've just never had the fortune of finding a man whom I share mutual sexual/romantic attraction with (I've been on dates before, but they never worked out.) I'm a very introverted person, I don't really go out and meet people often. Are you recommending me to really get into a relationship or just to have some casual, one-off, sexual flings? Being trans makes it much harder to get either of those, and is one of the main reasons I'm still a single virgin.

xw5, thanks for your reply. I'm really surprised by your suggestion - do you really believe I could earn a few thousand £ just for selling my virginity, even though I have no proof of it? (the "add at least one zero" was referring specifically to selling my virginity and not subsequent clients, right?) Thank you for your advice not to let clients push any boundaries. Yes, I know that most clients do not seek trans escorts (although many straight men do fetishize trans women,) but at the same time, trans escorts are a minority, so I had hoped that it would at worst "cancel out", if you catch my drift. Thanks for advising that I can do escorting without receiving anal sex - but since I don't have a vagina, would that not severely reduce the number of clients who would see me?

I just feel like you should get some more experience, that could be getting into a relationship or flings. I don’t want to sound patronising but relationships/flings are kind of a part of life growing up? (I don’t know how old you are so I really don’t want to sound patronising!) but having those experiences might be helpful when starting sex work. This is just my opinion, ultimately it’s really down to you. You said you are very introverted, this job will bring you all types of clients. Think about if you’re really ready for it. That’s what I mean with experience. You will get to know what you enjoy and don’t enjoy with people sexually. Then you can decided what service you would like to offer. You don’t want clients bullying you into doing what you don’t want to do.

If you decided to do this I would suggest dayuse hotels for a few hours. Set a rate which is going to cover your expenses. Look at other sex workers online you see that are similar to you to get an idea.

Market yourself attractively. You don’t need to get professional pictures. Take good selfies with your phone with different outfits. Start with 3 different outfits with lots of different pictures. Make sure you decided if you’re going to show your face or not? Could affect you in the long run.

I can’t comment on the anal sex as I don’t do it but always use condoms. Some people don’t use condoms for oral, some do. That is down to you and you should do your research on different STIs and also get check ups regularly. I would believe it won’t be easy just going ahead and doing anal on your first booking. Experiment on yourself before you do that. I believe it needs a lot of warm up to be comfortable.

You will need to start declaring profits to HMRC  also once it’s over £1000. That’s a different topic which is covered on other threads.

I started with no money at 18. I offered outcalls (which I don’t recommend if you’re completely new). I spent a lot of money in the first few months buying toys, outfits, booking hotels but it paid off in a few months. As long as you save. I am 26y Now I have my own business, home and can live comfortably. It will be scary at first but once you get past that stage and at least enjoy some aspects of the job then you will be fine.

The question of how much to charge is not something that anyone else can answer beyond saying what's been said - see what others are charging - and then not trying to compete on price. However low you go, someone else will always be cheaper. Whatever you want to charge, it will be easier if you can give reasons why someone should see you... and those will depend on you.

The annual income question is something that no one ever really knows in advance, especially at the start. Even the people who go 'Well, I made £x the last three years, I should do so this year' got caught out by things like Covid-19.

That's why I suggested a strap-on. It's a not uncommon issue for pre-op trans women, even before the psychological issues of using something that's not right with your body.

If you look at the sexual options on explicit dating apps, especially the ones for men looking for other men, you can get an idea of what possible services there are to offer. You will probably have to look some of them up... but they are all things that you could potentially offer if and only if you are comfortable with them. Some people can switch off entirely in this context and do all sorts of things they wouldn't normally choose to do themselves, but in your position you can't be sure that you are one of them.

Okay, so I've had a look at escort directories in my area and it seems that the general rate in my area is £100-150 for "incalls" and around £200 for "outcalls."

Most escorts advertised are older than me, sometimes by well over a decade. I was surprised by how many escorts showed their faces in the ads, although many didn't so I should still be fine without. Fortunately, it doesn't seem as if non white escorts charge considerably less, nor does it seem as though trans escorts charge less (though, I'm not sure if either group receives significantly fewer clients). One major concern I now have, though, is that some trans escorts who very much seem to be trans women, are marked as "Male" on the directory, which is something I'd be hugely uncomfortable with marketing myself as (and could possibly even reduce my client base). Is it a rule that you have to put yourself down as your birth gender? I didn't see any trans men yet.

I'm also still undecided how I should advertise my nationality/ethnicity/race - it wouldn't be a lie to say I'm a British national and not a foreigner, but I worry that some clients may feel betrayed if I do not mention in my ads that I am only half white. I'm worried that clients looking for white escorts will reject me for being half Asian and clients looking for Asian escorts will reject me for being half white.

I'm not sure how revealing/explicit my ad photos should be, some of the escorts had very explicit pictures of their genitalia, whilst others just wore nice lingerie outfits. I'm leaning towards the latter, honestly.

Is £100-£150 for incalls and £200 for outcalls really enough to stay afloat? I guess it depends on how many clients I see per month, but I feel like if I'm paying for a hotel in my home town, paying for a taxi to get there, and then charging the "incall" price, that feels like a lose-lose situation for me and could mean getting little to no profit per client. Remember, I cannot take incalls at home at the moment.

Hi amy,

Thanks very much for giving me advise. Yes, using "TS" in my work name sounds like a possibly good idea, or in any case making it very clear that I'm a trans woman.

Do you have any recommendations for how I should market my nationality/ethnicity/race (see OP for details)?

Hi again Faye,

Yes, it's important I let them know that I am trans and pre-op. What I meant was, I really don't want my ads to be titled "X years old Male", I'd much prefer "X years old TS/trans woman" or if that is not possible, "X years old Female" and then make it very clear that I am MtF trans and pre-op and especially make sure that any client knows that before we meet face to face (as amy rightly points out, it's a big safety hazard if a client believes I'm a cis woman when we meet and then realises I'm not.)

Hmm, perhaps if it's not required to declare my race, I won't? And then if it's required I'll say I'm mixed? I guess I just had a worry I might not get as many clients if I was perceived as Asian/foreign rather than white/British (and it would feel very weird marketing myself as Asian since I've never lived there at all and have very little personal connection to my Asian cultural heritage, and my accent is totally British.) Maybe I was wrong though and that doesn't matter?

Well it will be some time before I can move out of my parents place and start doing home incalls, so for now let's stick to the £8000 a year target after work-related expenses (and taxes). If I make a profit of £50 per client (is this reasonable in my situation, considering hotels, transport etc.?) that means I need to see 160 clients a year, or around 3 clients a week. How achievable does that sound?