SAAFE forum
General Category => Questions and Answers => Topic started by: Ilovewine on 13 November 2018, 04:26:28 pm
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Hi everyone, first of all, apologies for any typos, but I've lost my reading glasses and can hardly see what I'm typing. So I've just very recently taken on a six month tenancy in what I thought was a very discreet cottage. It's located on a one way street with no overlooking neighbours. I only generally see 3 clients a week, and only ever one client in a day. This is because I have an office job so just don't have the time. Also, I only ever see clients during the day and i always ask the client to kindly ensure that the coast is clear before they knock. Anyhow, the next door but one neighbour (elderly lady who lives alone) confronted me today and asked, very loudly and accusatory, if i was "entertaining gentleman". I was caught completely off guard and basically said how dare you accuse me of that, and then just walked away. I don't know what to do now as I just don't feel comfortable seeing punters there. What would you do and has anything like this happened to you? Thanks so much in advance x
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If you're only seeing 3 clients a week ignore the nosey bitch, realistically what is she gonna do call the police to report a woman on her street is having too much Sex ;D.
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I would ignore her and carry on with what you are doing. It's none of her business if you are entertaining gentlemen.
Stop telling them to make sure the coast is clear as that makes them look too obvious.
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Perhaps she's jealous, might want to to share the lurv, lol
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Tell her you met them on tinder and like to fuck 😂 its not like you're seeing twenty a day
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She must be one of those curtain twitchers who have nothing better to do all day. I don't see how she can possibly deduce you're doing sex work though as you sound very discreet. Is it the first encounter you've had with her? If so, I'd be inclined to go round there and tell her very politely that you found her comments intrusive and strange. Tell her you have friend and relatives round every so often
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Have you had any dodgy clients lately who might have tipped off your neighbours to be malicious?
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I would tell her to fuck off.
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Yep, three a week could be casual fucks. Unless she knows the landlord I would just ignore her and tell her to mind her own business.
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Remember, you are doing nothing illegal so even if she confronts you, it's on moral grounds not legal grounds.
I would remind her that what happens in your property is your business alone.
xx
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Hi everyone and thank you so much for your replies/advice. I only have a few regulars that visit, and (although I cannot be 100% certain), I pretty much know that they wouldn't "drop me in it", as they really are lovely guys. Also, how would they benefit? The situation has actually escalated this morning and I'm in tears and am even considering cancelling my bookings. As I was walking through the front door, another lady approached me (I've seen her before in passing just to say hello to - really, really lovely lady). Anyhow, she introduced herself and said that she owns a cafe in town (just a few yards from my property). She said that my next door but one neighbour (the one who confronted me), actually went into her cafe yesterday afternoon and said, quite loudly, "did you know that there's a prostitute working a few yards away from here." She said that her response to her was "why would you say that? do you have evidence, and so what if she is, what is it to do with you?" She then went on to say that she says men coming and going, and also said "why would the blinds always be drawn?" FFSAKE! If she took note of all the other properties on the street, she would see that ALL the residents have their curtains drawn or blinds down, as the properties are directly facing the street! I know what I do isn't illegal, but no one knows what I do, and I'd really like it to stay that way. Anyhow, I suppose it looks like I may have to find somewhere else, but not happy as just signed a six month lease X
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Hi everyone and thank you so much for your replies/advice. I only have a few regulars that visit, and (although I cannot be 100% certain), I pretty much know that they wouldn't "drop me in it", as they really are lovely guys. Also, how would they benefit? The situation has actually escalated this morning and I'm in tears and am even considering cancelling my bookings. As I was walking through the front door, another lady approached me (I've seen her before in passing just to say hello to - really, really lovely lady). Anyhow, she introduced herself and said that she owns a cafe in town (just a few yards from my property). She said that my next door but one neighbour (the one who confronted me), actually went into her cafe yesterday afternoon and said, quite loudly, "did you know that there's a prostitute working a few yards away from here." She said that her response to her was "why would you say that? do you have evidence, and so what if she is, what is it to do with you?" She then went on to say that she says men coming and going, and also said "why would the blinds always be drawn?" FFSAKE! If she took note of all the other properties on the street, she would see that ALL the residents have their curtains drawn or blinds down, as the properties are directly facing the street! I know what I do isn't illegal, but no one knows what I do, and I'd really like it to stay that way. Anyhow, I suppose it looks like I may have to find somewhere else, but not happy as just signed a six month lease X
I would stick a letter through the nosy neighbour's door (preferably very formally typed/laid out), saying that if she continues to slander you, you will be taking legal action against her for defamation.
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I agree with threatening Legal action. Cant stand bullies like that. Stupid bint! How on earth can she draw that conclusion when you have so few bookings?!
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Hello, I never let the customers knock on the door,
I just tell them to call me when they are in the parking
and so they come more discreetly and not making noises,
it would also be a good idea if you have a rear door and not the front door ...
the most important thing is discretion
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Sultress000 and Kay...Yes, what a good idea. I shall post a typed up, professional letter. I'll keep you all posted. Thanks again. To be honest, you have all made me feel so much better. As I said initially, its not as if there are guys coming and going constantly, we don't make any noise. NEVER any more than one in a day, and NEVER more than 3 or 4 maximum in a week. What makes it even more frustrating and upsetting for me, is that I have literally no one else to talk to; nobody in my "other life" knows I do this, so I can't even vent to friends or family. This forum is invaluable as I have nowhere else to turn. By the way, if anyone is ever in the Cheshire area, I would love to meet up! X
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This is why I think the best clients are the workmen types who arrive in a van and are wearing plumber/plasterer logo teeshirts and that kind of thing, or smartly dressed men with files or brief cases who could be here to sell insurance or do a property survey. The list is endless. Where I am there is always a delivery van or electrician/estate agent/a host of others coming and going so no one would know who my own visitors are.
If I glance out of my window I can see men arriving and leaving in cars/vans and going to several flats and addresses around me. I don't assume one or two of them may be calling on prossies but they could be!
Curtain twitchers are sad but I think they secretly enjoy the dirty activities they think they have discovered and if they get it stopped then where else do they get their fun and kicks.
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I assume your landlady/lord doesn't know that you escort? Is there something in your tenancy agreement that says you cannot use your residence for work? If the answer is yes to the latter, then you need to be very careful of her finding out.
I suggest you don't use any confrontational language towards the next door but one neighbour as it might just make her even more nasty. Make friends within the community and show them you are a nice person. You need to ride out the 6 months of your agreement with the least aggravation possible and perhaps consider moving if things get too pear shaped.
How horrible for you. Sending hugs.
x
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Hi everyone and thank you so much for your replies/advice. I only have a few regulars that visit, and (although I cannot be 100% certain), I pretty much know that they wouldn't "drop me in it", as they really are lovely guys. Also, how would they benefit? The situation has actually escalated this morning and I'm in tears and am even considering cancelling my bookings. As I was walking through the front door, another lady approached me (I've seen her before in passing just to say hello to - really, really lovely lady). Anyhow, she introduced herself and said that she owns a cafe in town (just a few yards from my property). She said that my next door but one neighbour (the one who confronted me), actually went into her cafe yesterday afternoon and said, quite loudly, "did you know that there's a prostitute working a few yards away from here." She said that her response to her was "why would you say that? do you have evidence, and so what if she is, what is it to do with you?" She then went on to say that she says men coming and going, and also said "why would the blinds always be drawn?" FFSAKE! If she took note of all the other properties on the street, she would see that ALL the residents have their curtains drawn or blinds down, as the properties are directly facing the street! I know what I do isn't illegal, but no one knows what I do, and I'd really like it to stay that way. Anyhow, I suppose it looks like I may have to find somewhere else, but not happy as just signed a six month lease X
The fact you are only seeing 3 a week which is hardly any this old nosey bag must be at her wondow constant. For her to assume you are a prostitute do you think she has found you're adultwork profile and got someone to ring up or something and does know it is you.
She must be a very sad no life woman to be watching constant to see 3 a week she must be there at the window most of her life.
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Im sure this is frustrating for you.
I don't feel you owe an explanation to your neighbor no matter if it's 3 or 10 clients a week.
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Kim D - I have actually just today spoken to my landlord, as he is a really nice, down to earth guy. I thought I'd get in there first. So I've just basically said that the old dear has accused me of being a hooker...his response, "she needs to get a life"
English Green - I don't actually advertise anywhere now, as all of my punters are regulars.
I think I'll just carry on as normal - what's the worst that can happen?
X
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I would stick a letter through the nosy neighbour's door (preferably very formally typed/laid out), saying that if she continues to slander you, you will be taking legal action against her for defamation.
Thing is though if it is true it is not slander so no legal action for words of truth could be taken.
But she could put a letter through saying harassing me and spreading horrible things is not on and if it carries on i will be reporting you for harassment that might get her to stop possibly or it might not.
Or ignore her and just carry on.
No doubt as she has spread it the cafe, where you advertise some could ring up ads and find out for sure by making a booking unless you only see reg.
Just be prepared this woman could know the landlord and report this and if the contract says nothing immoral or any business conducts from the property you could be asked to go. So bare this in mind.
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I have just had an idea but haven't given it much thought. I'll put it out there anyway.
You could say you are a reiki practitioner or something of similar ilk and have patients/clients occasionally come visit you at home. You could even back this up by placing an ad on Gumtree or making a quick one page website. You can just say your appointment book is full if people contact you. This might be enough to sway people from suspecting you're an escort. Moreover, it might give you some ammo against your landlady if she tries to evict you.
It's worth bearing in mind for any future tenancy if it's of no help to you now. If you spot a clause in your agreement preventing you from using your rented accommodation for work, ask for it to be removed on these grounds. It also serves as a story to give suspecting neighbours.
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The Reiki or similar ilk is a bloody wonderful suggestion..I'm going to put local ads up.. Thanks so much x
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Do something that you know you can. Get a separate Sim card for it, and occasionally accept a booking for that advertised thing. As no doubt, the nosy old sod will get someone she knows to phone and book you. If you are never available, and she still notices the same 3 fellas, she will still be going on about you being a hooker.
Could be she's jealous lol. Back in her day she would have had to stand on the street regardless of the weather or advertise in phone boxes.
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She is a nosey old battle axe. What harm is being done to her? None!
If she continues with her hate campaign stick a typed up, polite, professional letter thru her letterbox stating that how upset you are about her accusations, and if need be will be taking legal advice.
Do you have a trusted male friend you can confide in - she may keep quiet if a nice man had a word in her ear!
What you are doing is not illegal though with rented property you are not permitted to work from that property. But she has no evidence that you are "working" and 3 men a week visiting is basically "friends" visiting you. We are all entitled to a social life and this neighbour clearly does not have any kind of life, social or otherwise!
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This is awful, what a horrible woman she sounds. I would be getting a letter from a solicitor sent to her, she sounds like a bully, a letter will stop her in her tracks if she thinks you are serious about taking legal action against her. Her words are very damaging and she needs to put a stop to it.
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Do a Sharon Osbourne, dog shit through the letter box every day for a month & she'll soon leave you alone.
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Kim D - I have actually just today spoken to my landlord, as he is a really nice, down to earth guy. I thought I'd get in there first. So I've just basically said that the old dear has accused me of being a hooker...his response, "she needs to get a life"
English Green - I don't actually advertise anywhere now, as all of my punters are regulars.
I think I'll just carry on as normal - what's the worst that can happen?
X
Oh if you do not advertise anywhere then carry on With the regulars. Stuff that nosey old cow she cannot prove nothing then. She had a nerve to accuse you with only 3 a week and no work photos of you locally. Nasty woman.
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It went through my mind that perhaps she's an ex prossie and jealous of you now shes too old, ugly and nasty to get any punters! 😂😂😂
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I wouldn't be surprised if she's an ex hooker and jealous that you can still work, seriously cos you sound discreet and how does she know you're not just a shagger...weird
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Nosey old cow. Some people’s lives are so empty they have nothing better to do than stick their nose in other peoples affairs and busybody about!
I agree with others here; you’re not doing nothing wrong. Three customers a day to most observers doesn’t prove anything; 3,4,5 a day maybe but even then none of her business.
I mainly work oucalls now but do the odd incall. I get on fine with my neighbours. I suspect one even may know way he talks to me; but he’s fine! Probably after a freebie. You should see his wife!!
Seriously though What an old bag!
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So sorry to hear about the anxiety this neighbour is causing you. I can imagine how unnerving this must be to think you are being watched all the time.
Just throwing an idea out there. Has this other neighbour got a history of making odd accusations about other neighbours? From experience, an elderly family member, had a habit of accusing people of drug dealing, burgularies, kidnappings and even troups of clowns dancing down the road. She did actually see this happening in her head but clearly nobody else did. It could be something similar with your neighbour that her mind is affected by age/disease. Perhaps having a discreet word with any family members that visit her to express your concerns may result in her getting the meds or any extra care she needs. It is probably just be a coincidence that she has hit the nail on the head of "entertaining gentlemen". She may also be acting perfectly normally (or only a little bizarre) in front of family and friends but has moments of weird behaviour with others which will only get worse.
I know easier said than done but I would ignore her as you don't advertise there is nothing she can find out about you merely having family members, friends, work colleagues visit you and they just happen to be men. It is a massive jump to assume that those few visitors a week would be clients of a sex worker. Someone would have to actually be in the room as you have a booking to know for sure.
If you don't have blackout curtains just be careful about turning the bedroom lights on when you have a client round. I tend to keep the bedroom light on most of the time so it doesn't just go on just before or when a client arrives.
I wouldn't bother advertising another non-existant business as you will likely have a clause in your tenancy preventing you from working from home so that could cause a different set of problems for you and really not worth the hassle.
Hope it all settles down for you.
xx
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Can you switch to doing evenings so less likely for her to see what’s going on
It’s dark at 4pm now and will be like that till end of Feb early March by that time your lease should be at the end and you can decide if you want to carry on or not
To be honest once neighbours know and they have a bee in their bonnet about you and your work it’s unlikely that they will stop and I would say from my own experience that your time is limited in that flat ( unless she falls over and dies 😂)
But if your landlord isn’t bothered then that’s good it’s just depends on how you feel about working and potentially being harassed
If you don’t care then just carry on and ignore her she will either up the harassment or give up as she see it’s mt bothering you