SAAFE forum
General Category => Questions and Answers => Topic started by: Lil Lolita on 07 October 2013, 04:03:38 pm
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I was having a look over some old threads this morning on here, plus thinking about how nice it is to be free of the agency and that sodding obsessed client I had!
We discussed it before, and many people on here said clients form an attachment for many different reasons and often confuse it with being with a girlfriend.
But realistically, how many of us who have partners say "Thats (price) for an hour of my time" when we see them? I seriously don't get how men can become confused with paying and GFE.
I can look back now, and when I want to start up again in the business, know what to avoid etc. Can men become so dazed though that they become almost neurotic?! (Or more to the point, psychotic?)
When I discussed this with a girl (working) for the agency a while ago, she said one of my regulars (who was fine with me) had become so deluded in he wanted to marry her.
With the previous client I had (obsessed one), he said that he was seperated from his wife and they hadn't had sex for three years, but live together for the sake of their 13 year old daughter. I had regulars tell me things like that before; I'm used to it. Then the gifts/items started coming and the weekly meets; the perfume, McDonalds(!), handbags... Him asking for my number, email.. if he could give me lifts anywhere.. The fact he said he really enjoyed his time with me but refused to write a review as it would encourage business for me. Saying he missed me (when he'd only seen me a week before).
After the awful crap with the agency giving me that flat, and him being overly keen (again) on me, arriving way too early etc, I decided enough was enough and I lessened my work with them before quitting altogether. In my final week, I decided to discreetly try incalls from my place. The agency in fairness were discreet about it, but then PW client booked as soon as he saw I was on. Thankfully, I am leaving the city on Friday and giving up my lease. 10 minutes into the booking, PW still isn't there. Text from agency "Please ring the client- he is lost". I did, and he said he had been asking people for directions. MUPPET. Text again from agency to say he was outside my block. Go down and he's pacing up and down, drawing attention to himself. Immediately beckon him to come in, quietly go upstairs, invite him in and sit him down. I then very calmly explained I was not happy with his behaviour; it was a business arrangement and he was paying for my time, like any other client, he was no different. I said we weren't an "item" and whilst I fully appreciated his difficulties, it would be unwise to see him any more after this meet. The ONLY reason I said before the booking was because I am VERY honest and I don't like to bullshit my clients, in the same way, if one was doing something I didn't like, tell them there and then rather than just let it go. He started getting tearful, angry and threw the money at me before storming out.
I feel bad, but the agency weren't doing anything about him, I had to. And that's when I thought, enough's enough and stopped working for them...
Going back to my original point; I know WHY now guys can get attached, but my question is HOW can they get so confused?! Like mine; did he really think, with the greatest of respect, that a 26 year old woman would be interested in some 40 odd year old man, who was paying for it? How can anyone be confused if they are paying for a service?! I am not sure what to compare this to, a babysitter being mistaken for a full time carer?! I don't know.
I know I sound harsh, and undoubtedly, there will be people who take me the wrong way. Wondering if it's the same for any male escorts as well, or does it predominantly seem to be guys using female escorts? The articles I read were so interesting!
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Sadly some guys are lonely and dillusional. Others suffer from selective reading ie ...... only see what they want to see in profiles/summaries. The secret is picking up on this before things progress to the obsession stage/s. Sometimes we have to lose the chance of a lot of lost wages but that is a small price to pay for peace of mind.
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I look at all the clients I've had (regulars) or normal bookings. They didn't behave in the way he did. One of my regulars (who saw other girls too) used to give me a lift back to the train station once I got to know him, was very nice etc. But we knew each others boundaries etc.
I know I won't be the first girl and I won't be the last, but why the fuck did this muppet get drawn to me?! I am doing a job, I am there to provide a nice service to clients. It angers me that he saw me more of a girlfriend. Delusional nutcase.
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oh dear. I currently have a knight in shining armour wannabe. It's all very pleasant until he assumes that I must not be happy doing this type of job and the panic in his face when he saw a small bruise on my boob (happened when I was out drinking someone play pool hit the balls too hard and it flew off the table and into my right tit haha weird accident) he asked who had done this to me and surprisingly he didn't accept the truth of the cue balls and would rather believe it was a nasty client! :FF I have given him 2 weeks off from seeing me as he has started to say things like "I wish I never met you, in a good way" and walking away when we are hot and heavy going "this is too weird I have never been this sexually in tune with anyone before! " He keeps inviting me round for dinner and he told me his real name (I havn't told him mine) and keeps saying if I am ever at a loose end I could come round for dinner no sex. I'm hoping the 2 weeks off may have cooled it down a bit for him but much more and I am going to have stop seeing him which is a shame really because apart from when he says these awkward things he is a great client.
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oh dear. I currently have a knight in shining armour wannabe. It's all very pleasant until he assumes that I must not be happy doing this type of job and the panic in his face when he saw a small bruise on my boob (happened when I was out drinking someone play pool hit the balls too hard and it flew off the table and into my right tit haha weird accident) he asked who had done this to me and surprisingly he didn't accept the truth of the cue balls and would rather believe it was a nasty client! :FF I have given him 2 weeks off from seeing me as he has started to say things like "I wish I never met you, in a good way" and walking away when we are hot and heavy going "this is too weird I have never been this sexually in tune with anyone before! " He keeps inviting me round for dinner and he told me his real name (I havn't told him mine) and keeps saying if I am ever at a loose end I could come round for dinner no sex. I'm hoping the 2 weeks off may have cooled it down a bit for him but much more and I am going to have stop seeing him which is a shame really because apart from when he says these awkward things he is a great client.
I doubt it will HHJJ. I tried so many times nicely to tell this client I had "look, you're a nice guy, but this IS a business arrangement". *Him all smiles and niceness* "Yes, I know, don't worry". So when I told him a few weeks back I'd been off with the dreaded Norovirus... "Oh no! You should have told me! I could have come round and got shopping." I seriously wanted to smack him the last time I saw him, in fact, he grossed me out. Had I known it was him (common name for most clients he has) booking me for an incall that time, I would have refused him on the spot. Instead of which, I have the chat with him, pretend it's all ok (yeah, right) and see him in his smiley face boxers (wtf?!) and his long pubes that it looks as though he has combed into a wig (gross), not to mention that sweet smell of B.O. lingering... oh and then I please tell him to be discreet as the walls of my flat are very thin, PLUS he could hear my upstairs neighbour out cleaning and sweeping the stairs at the time.... yet he STILL has a loud orgasm. It filled me with joy to push him out the door and know that was the last time I ever had to see those smiley face boxers smiling back at me, the wiggy pubes in my face or get his B.O. near my nose.
I feel loads better this week in fact! In fact, once I have got things sorted my end and decided where I am gonna live permenantly, I can't WAIT to become an indie! :D
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You are sounding a lot more positive LL, that's good. Hope you get things organised soon. xx
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Absolutely LL. I feel a wee bit like Belle de Jour (Secret Diary of a Call Girl)... having gone through a shit agency, shit SD's and hopefully now onto a new business venture :) xx
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I had to stop seeing my very first regular client! He would say things in bed, after sex, like "God I just wish I met you some other way..." (I'm thinking "well then you wouldn't have ever seen me naked, dude") Then he asked me if I'd let him take me on a "real date".
But the final straw was when he became offended I was still charging him his original hour rate. EVERY TIME he'd ask "So...how much?" He thought that since I must enjoy his company, he shouldn't have to pay as much anymore. Thing is, since meeting him I had actually aised my rate $80 more! It was so uncomfortable dealing with that! How do you stay professional without hurting their feelings??
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I have a couple of older regs who often mention 'our special connection/chemistry' we have, I just have to politely smile and grit my teeth and say 'you say the sweetest things' spew!. These two in particular have often tried to stay well over their time, wanting to chat and hold my hand, get a last kiss etc. and one has even asked for a discount because he thinks we both get on so well and mutually enjoy each others company!
Once, I was caught of guard when he came in, started hugging and squeezing me, trying to slobber, a bit overwhelmed that I almost forgot to ask for the money up front. When I eventually could ask 5mins later! he said, i'm so glad your not money orientated! Bloody cheek!
In general they are good clients, harmless and easily put back in line. I just find it a little frustrating when I can't say, 'Really so you think we have this special thing going on do you?, have you met my 'special friend', he's 40 years younger then you, fit body, big knob, doesn't slobber all over me or make a mess on my bed!
:FF
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I've literally lost count at the amount of times I have heard "if only I met you 20 years earlier".
I just laugh now, can't help it - and one of those times I wish I had a dollar for each time it was said.
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I have a couple of older regs who often mention 'our special connection/chemistry' we have, I just have to politely smile and grit my teeth and say 'you say the sweetest things' spew!. These two in particular have often tried to stay well over their time, wanting to chat and hold my hand, get a last kiss etc. and one has even asked for a discount because he thinks we both get on so well and mutually enjoy each others company!
Once, I was caught of guard when he came in, started hugging and squeezing me, trying to slobber, a bit overwhelmed that I almost forgot to ask for the money up front. When I eventually could ask 5mins later! he said, i'm so glad your not money orientated! Bloody cheek!
In general they are good clients, harmless and easily put back in line. I just find it a little frustrating when I can't say, 'Really so you think we have this special thing going on do you?, have you met my 'special friend', he's 40 years younger then you, fit body, big knob, doesn't slobber all over me or make a mess on my bed!
:FF
I wouldn't say they were good clients! They are bordering on Fatal Attraction! I know I've said this already but WOW do I feel good at him not being there all the time now. Delusional bastard.
And what is it with them and discounts?! When I do my AW profile (by myself, no pimpy ex's, for the first time, yay!) soon, I will specifically say NO discounts whatsoever. :)
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I dont think they see you as a girlfriend so much I think they get too comfy with you and they think because they have paid several times then you must like them a lot and ppresume you would go out for free. I had several ask me out and had to stop all meets when I made it clear I would not.
They say you must like me a lot lol umm no I am being paid I think to myself. I had a 72 yr o, d ask me to be his gf and that he would let me do my job still ha
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I have just had to pull rank with another regular, I didn't like to do it as he seems really hurt but it showed just how confused he was about the situation.
He started to come to me in outfits, asking what kind of uniforms I like, ie. fireman etc. He started going to a lot of trouble & exspense to get them & said he wouldn't do it for anyone else. He then said he doesn't go on AW anymore because hes found me & said I should check to see hes telling the truth. He often offers to help me if I mention in general chit chat if the cars playing or the loo seat doesn't work etc.
But I did make the mistake of going for a drink with him once after a booking, upaid time as I was moving area and didn't think he would be able to see me, so it was like a goodbye drink. But now he can see me & now wants to know if he can have an overnight booking with me to which I initially said yes but then had doubts it was the right thing with this guy.
I just don't feel comfortable with him anymore & think it would make matters worse if we went ahead. So I just told him now & explained why I can't accept his help outside of business arrangements. He reacted completely shocked as if he doesn't really know what an escort does is and i'm sure thought of me as a potential girlfriend.
I still find it hard to be nice do the whole GFE routine & not get this sort if thing happen.
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I agree with you Lynny. I wouldn't want the same thing to happen to me as an indie. Even though they weren't much good in the end, at least the agency were a sort of "blanket" from this guy.
Your last client doesn't sound as bad as the one I had though. This guy was persistant. What made my blood boil is when I used to do incalls at the other girls places and he'd turn up like 20 mins early. That's when I knew he was starting to become a pain in the arse. Having to prompt him for payment every single bloody time, whereas 99% of my clients have it ready in an envelope or hand me it within 2 mins of the booking. I just stuck it out due to the money side of things. He was regular income. Just feels like a weight off my shoulders not having to deal with him now! :)
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One Saturday I was going out with my kids and as we came out into the parking area on of my regulars had a Roundup tank on his back, mask and was spraying the ivy and brambles on the fence. Apart from the fact that my children were planning on picking the blackberries, he'd even sprayed my flowers and bit of grass on that side, I was so stunned all I could say was " X you've sprayed the honeysuckle, how's it all going to look'? His reply was that it certainly wouldn't look as bad as it did now and that honeysuckle is practically a weed that grows everywhere. Still stunned I said that we were going shopping, he then gave me a cheery satisfied smile pulled out ?140 out of his pocket, handed it to me and said "well I'll probably be gone before you get back, have a lovely time, and kids be good for mum" I didn't want to cause a scene with kids with me and neighbours looking on so just swiftly pocketed the money without comment and acted like he was the gardener, who for some strange reason had randomly given us money for the weekly shopping, got in the car resolving to sort him out later. I think he actually stood and waved us off before he continued spraying. It was at this point that along with a few other observations I'd made, I realised that X was probably on the autistic spectrum, never taking social cues for ending appointment etc. Yes he'd commented on the greenery before, I'd make some non committal response and he'd decided in his head that it should be sprayed and that's what I wanted too - he'd misjudged my response and assumed that his thoughts were mine too which is classic for autism. I think that at least some of our intense stalker clients may be on the spectrum and just not picking up on social cues. Since then I've been very unambiguous in my communication with him and it's sort of fine now. I don't assume that he'll pick up on my inferences and facial expression for instance. I do agree though that some clients are just cheeky or deluded, for instance I've had far too many emails from a client I'm supposed to be meeting tonight finally signing off on the last one with, 'looking forward to meeting you for the first of many visits and in a earlier email saying that he hopes that I'll consider a discount for his intended future bookings.......ooh, do you think that I should just stay in tonight and have a hot chocolate.
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I'm so glad I read this thread. I'm a newbie to escorting. I've been camming on AW for around two years and got so many requests to meet I decided to give it a go.
I'm 41 overweight and very married and yet of the 5 guys I've met two of them have got ideas well above me being an escort. One of them is tolerable (an old guy who swears undying love when I see him but doesnt pester me when I'm not with him) but the other guy, yikes! He wants to book me two or three times a week (I only allow once a week) He books a nice hotel, brings me chocolate, expensive pink champagne to drink and a bottle to take away. He sent me a text one day saying he was in London and had bought me a pressie. It was a bottle of vintage champagne. He does all that 'we have a connection, you make me feel so good etc) He text me all day long. I told him I will only reply once or twice a dayas I'm busy. he wanted to book me one eve and I told him I already had a booking and he didn't contact me the next (sulking I imagine) but then he text the day after right as rain. He doesnt put any smut in his texts but gushes about me and signs his text lots of lust D xx. he says he misses me and how lucky dh is and how special I am blah blah.
I'm too bloody nice is the trouble and I dont know how to deal with it. Ultimately I hope he just gets bored/goes off me or something as I find his meets very intense. He tickles me, massages me, wants to chat for ages etc. He usually books two hours.
I prefer to turn up, get straight to it and then leave with money in my pocket lol.
Sorry if i rambled a bit lol x
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I'm too bloody nice is the trouble and I dont know how to deal with it. Ultimately I hope he just gets bored/goes off me or something as I find his meets very intense. He tickles me, massages me, wants to chat for ages etc. He usually books two hours.
I prefer to turn up, get straight to it and then leave with money in my pocket lol.
Sorry if i rambled a bit lol x
If you don't know how to deal with it, you don't have to straight away - if you really can't face seeing him just politely tell him you're already booked/not available at the time he wants and then you can plan how to be straight with him when you are eventually face to face.
A very good prop in these situations is a husband/partner/boyfriend; I wore a wedding ring for years out of habit after I bought it when visiting a country I knew I'd get pestered in alone, but it definitely helps stop punters getting any ideas. You can mention something you're looking forward to doing with Mr Hannah, and if that doesn't work you can still be polite and professional if you tell him that his behaviour is making you uncomfortable.
For what it's worth I've had quite a few of these over the years (and I like to keep my private life private, so never mentioned Mr Amy) and losing them as clients is the usual outcome, but for the sake of your sanity it's never a bad thing :).
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Ty Amy, wise words. I thought you were going to say if you dont know how to handle it you're in the wrong job lol.
The weird thing is he knows all about hubby. He's watched us cam together and has even suggested a threesome with hubby lol. he has taken pic on my phone while we are together that I send to hubby and he and hubby get off on it bleurghh lol Bloody hubby is no help as he thinks its all hilarious ::).
The client is unreasonably reasonable offering to take us to dinner, to give us lifts where ever we want (he's private hire driver). He spends a fortune which I feel guilty about but hubby just says its his choice and I need to harden up.
Oh blooming heck why is life so complicated :FF
H x
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The client is unreasonably reasonable offering to take us to dinner, to give us lifts where ever we want (he's private hire driver). He spends a fortune which I feel guilty about but hubby just says its his choice and I need to harden up.
Well he's right about the money; how the bloke spends his own money is his own concern, but if it seeing this man is causing you real stress then you don't have to do anything of the kind - nobody is obliged to put up with being made to feel distressed when they're working however much money they're getting, and the two things are completely different.
If it was me, I'd have one single crack at explaining this to him and if he took no notice just refuse to see him again. It's unlikely to work if he's completely pigheaded and when it's happened to me I've retained precisely one client out of the lot (and even he needs reminding occasionally), so instead of feeling bad about losing him if it happens, feel positive and relieved that you don't have to put up with any more of that shite :).
And tell him you can book your own taxis, too. Taking him up on 'non work' offers won't help in the slightest.
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how is it that some clients become horribly deluded about the nature of the relationship?
i'm very friendly with my regular clients (well, with all my clients) but i'm also very careful to maintain an air of professionalism- after all, this is business.
seems like at least once every 2-3 months i'm having to "break up" with a client, because they seem to get overly attached somehow.
it starts out the same every time: "you know, alice... i think we have a real connection..."
i laugh and brush it off and get my money. its a job.
eventually they begin asking me to lunch/dinner.
"lets go on a real date..."
at this point i get very upfront and tell them i won't get personal with clients.
i explain it in a way thats tactful and mild, and they usually reply with understanding and everything works out fine.
then there's the ones that absolutely LOSE IT.
they really thought i was their girlfriend.
(uhmm.. yeah. do all your girlfriends charge you by the hour for her company?)
why does this happen so much? why do they end up SO obsessed?
its a little sad. i've been doing the job for over 2 years now, and i'm STILL groping for an answer at this one... *sigh*
its always a damn shame when i have to cut off a good regular that pays well over this kind of thing...
:FF
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but yeah... had one this week that i hadn't seen in awhile.
i'd been giving it some distance and letting some time pass after telling him i'm not able to form personal relationships with clients.
he had understood (or so it seemed) and even thanked me for being so upfront and honest, instead of leading him on.
about a month passes, and i accept a request for a session with him.
but... before the session, i called to confirm our appointment.. as soon as i mention my rates (to remind him of what they are, since it's been awhile) he acts all surprised and shocked that i'm charging him at all.
"alice, i didnt realize this was THAT kind of meeting..."
*GROAN*
err... what other kind of meeting would it be? when have we ever had any other kind of meeting?? (never, that's when!)
i had to put the brakes on it right there.
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Yes last week I met with a client for the first time, I did initially find him very likeable actually, he tried to book for the next eve but it wasn't possible and we finally met 2 days later. On the second visit he let me into his apartment, threw himself down on the sofa opposite me and said flatly, well you've had feedback, whilst scrolling through the AW pages for my area. I did try to be nonchalant, said "oh really" while thinking, I should leave right now. He insisted on finding it and reading it to me, while scrolling through he said these are your competitors. When he realised that it referred to an event in between his two bookings he became really scathing, saying that he couldn't believe I'd done that, read out my comments of the session and said, "good God, incalls, you do incalls to your house.....I did then say that if he didn't close it down and change the subject I would leave, we continued but he was very difficult throughout, it's just that I had driven over 40mins and really needed the money to pay a bill the next day - what did he expect? He even complained that I hadn't answered my phone promptly to him! ???