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Author Topic: Client passed away...wife been in touch!  (Read 2743 times)

Plainjane

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Client passed away...wife been in touch!
« on: 28 April 2024, 08:35:44 am »
Urgently seeking advice as really unsure what to do. I've been seeing a guy once a month for many years.  In between bookings we keep in touch by text regularly as we have things in common (love of dogs etc).

We had a meet scheduled last week but the day before client texted to say he had to cancel as he was unwell. He promised to keep in touch but I didn't receive any updates fo a few days.  This is extremely unlike him as he's retired and has lots of time on his hands!

So yesterday I messaged saying "I'm really concerned about you.  Are you ok? X"

This morning I've received a text saying "I don't know who you are, but Xx passed away last week ".
I feel awful..what do I do?

Anyone else ever been in this situation?

Thank you in advance x

Plainjane

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Re: Client passed away...wife been in touch!
« Reply #1 on: 28 April 2024, 08:37:54 am »
Ps...should have also said the message to me said ."I'm Xxx partner "

CuteElsa

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Re: Client passed away...wife been in touch!
« Reply #2 on: 28 April 2024, 08:53:01 am »
I haven’t been in this exact situation before but have you thought that it might not be true ? She might have seen your messages on his phone and caught him out. Or it might just his way of saying he doesn’t want to see you anymore.

I’m sorry for being so cynical but not everything that men say or do is true.

Mirror

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Re: Client passed away...wife been in touch!
« Reply #3 on: 28 April 2024, 09:12:23 am »
Experience of client death, is one reason I insist on on the day confirmation.

Not too long ago I received a death notice text from a wife, likely sent to all contacts it detailed his business and funeral arrangements. We actually had contact a few days before, he mentioned feeling unwell and I know he had health issues for a long time.

On the other hand one client was a total surprise wasn't particularly of an age, and fairly fit.
« Last Edit: 28 April 2024, 09:26:16 am by Mirror »

Plainjane

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Re: Client passed away...wife been in touch!
« Reply #4 on: 28 April 2024, 09:12:39 am »
Hi

Thanks for your reply.  I had actually considered this so I did some research on a gun dog forum that he was active on, and I confirm he has indeed passed away x

roosrose

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Re: Client passed away...wife been in touch!
« Reply #5 on: 28 April 2024, 06:26:03 pm »
I have some clients that I’ve become so close with that I can’t even imagine what it would be like without them, I regularly text with them and talk about my life like with real friends, so I feel for you. Hopefully you will get over this shocking news :'(

Serendipitydo

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Re: Client passed away...wife been in touch!
« Reply #6 on: 28 April 2024, 11:50:39 pm »
That sounds awful, but I would be inclined to follow the other women's advice here.

Whether he is still alive or otherwise, contact has to cease.

I know it's odd in these situations but I am sorry for your loss x
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Plainjane

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Re: Client passed away...wife been in touch!
« Reply #7 on: 29 April 2024, 06:49:51 am »
I have some clients that I’ve become so close with that I can’t even imagine what it would be like without them, I regularly text with them and talk about my life like with real friends, so I feel for you. Hopefully you will get over this shocking news :'(

Plainjane

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Re: Client passed away...wife been in touch!
« Reply #8 on: 29 April 2024, 06:51:36 am »
Thanks everyone for your comments and advice.  Very much appreciated.  I'll just block the number and move on.

Mirror

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Re: Client passed away...wife been in touch!
« Reply #9 on: 29 April 2024, 06:51:53 am »
That sounds awful, but I would be inclined to follow the other women's advice here.

Whether he is still alive or otherwise, contact has to cease.

I know it's odd in these situations but I am sorry for your loss x

For many years I regularly visited a disability client, his carers sometimes parents were involved even if just letting me into the house and getting him prepared. They would either go out or one would be in another room. I only learned about his death through social media. Did feel a little odd, as if they could have told me, but I also respected they wanted their privacy.  He actually had quite an impact on many people, and I learned a lot from him.

Lushblossom

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Re: Client passed away...wife been in touch!
« Reply #10 on: 29 April 2024, 11:12:25 am »
Just text 'Sorry wrong number'. That should cover it.

Justine

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Re: Client passed away...wife been in touch!
« Reply #11 on: 29 April 2024, 12:30:48 pm »
A few clients from when I knew them were in their mid or late seventies and that was over 15 years ago so they may have passed away but there are others I know for certain have died. They were local business men who had an online presence and they happily gave me their real names and details of their businesses. Not wise in my opinion but I have never and would never betray a trust. 

After their deaths I had no messages or calls so assume that despite their openness with me they kept a tight rein on their own secret life. These men had wives and families.  Had I received any texts or calls after I knew of the deaths I would not have responded and/or denied knowledge of these men.

I had an escort friend 10 years ago who attended the funeral of one of her clients but that's another story! 😱

ff

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Re: Client passed away...wife been in touch!
« Reply #12 on: 29 April 2024, 01:23:03 pm »
I'd feel very uncomfortable if I received a message or call about a deceased client .
I'd not really know what to say ,hoping it doesn't happen  :(

Serendipitydo

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Re: Client passed away...wife been in touch!
« Reply #13 on: 29 April 2024, 07:33:38 pm »
It's a weird one.

I had a client who was loosing his eyesight. Lovely man, bit of a tragic story, which I shan't go in to.

It is inevitable that we will end up really caring for some who we share such intimacy with.

It can feel like a very abrupt cessation. I hope that you are ok and it's lovely to hear how sweet you are with your painful situation x
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curvywench

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Re: Client passed away...wife been in touch!
« Reply #14 on: 01 May 2024, 12:23:49 pm »
I'd reply, omg I am so sorry for your loss, just realised I put in the incorrect last digit on your number.
Please forgive me for disturbing you at such a terrible time.

Then block and grieve in your own way.
I'm also very sorry you heard about his death in this way.

The bigger, the better...In everything..Freddie Mercury