I have a client and we have a long-term thing going (not that long but that's how it was panning out). Up until now things were good, great in fact. Very nice gentleman, easy money.

Yesterday he got me to come see him and we do a dom sub thing where both of us switch and play both roles, but really he is always in control.

He has been more demanding of late, telling me to write him emails after our sessions, telling me to "come to me now" etc. I've just blown him off each time because I am not about to give him that kind of power to tell me what to do....

But obviously me resisting him trying to control me...was starting to chafe.

My first clue that things were going wrong was when he secretly filmed my whilst I was tied up and he left the room.
He deleted it in front of me but that erked me (he wanted to see if i behaved whilst he was gone)
The second is that he asked me questions he already knew the answers to (do i work for an agency, do i have a website) to see if I would lie...

I write a blog and he didn't know this so I told him about it.
He found an entry on the blog about himself...it was very complimentary and I didn't give any details on where or who, but on what we did (BDSM stuff).
When I met him I had no idea he'd read my blog
He pulled a piece of paper out of his jacked and got me to kneel before him (I thought it was just more BDSM role play)
then he got me to read it out loud
it was my blog post.
A very erotic and great piece of writing if i do say so myself, in fact probably the best piece on my blog

I felt so embarassed being made to read my work like that (I'm a writer and it was a mind fuck being told to read it on my knees) but I did.

He then scolded me for writing it, telling me "how dare you" and that "I did not give you permission" and that I could have revealed his identity.


I tried to protest, saying that there were no details on there that would reveal him at all (And there weren't).

He then scolded me for writing BDSM stuff at all, telling my I need to be careful and I'm going to get hurt. Kind of like a father telling his kid how to behave....
He said I shouldn't be writing such things as they are personal and between us
and he told me again that i will be attracting the wrong sorts of clients writing about being a submissive and i need to be careful and that I should only submit to him...

he left the room, telling me to stay on my knees whilst he shredded my work and that I was to remove it from my blog.

He shredded my writing. He might as well put my heart through the shredder. No one has ever treated me with such disrespect. I mean it's just a piece from a blog but I wrote it, I put effort into it and it was like a symbolic "fuck you" from him.

When he left the room (and i heard the shredder whirling) I got up, got dressed and walked out.
He stopped me at the door and told me not to leave.
I could see he realized he'd gone to far but he told me to stay
i burst into tears (i never cry!)
we spent the rest of the time him "consoling me", making me kiss him, rubbing against me. As if kissing that dick would comfort me.

Now.... I guess I'm not a very good little submissive 
But my blog is my personal choice. I never reveal who the guys are that I'm writing about and I get emails from men I've written about thanking me for the compliment.

I understand if a client doesn't like me writing about them.
BUT all they need to do is email me and say "ooh sorry i'm worried my wife (who knows I love to wear collars) might realize that's about me!
No problem, I'd take it down. But to scare me and scold me in a BDSM situation, and then SHRED my work, my writing which is dear to me (and fragile writers ego to boot) was crossing the line.

I suppose I've made my decision never to see him again. I took the post down and felt so upset having to do so.
I am not losing that much money because I was already giving him a HUGE discount rate (200 for 3 hours instead of 250 an hour) because it was BDSM stuff and no sex. So I feel like I was being really generous to him but he just suddenly thinks that he is my dom and I his sub and we are in a relationship.

This is an ongoing problem of mine as most of my clients are regulars and as time stretches on some of them (not most, but some) start making demands of me to see them whenever, no matter my schedule, and asking more and more about how many men I see....

But this is the first time in my months of working where I have felt the power balance (which has always felt like we are equals but I'm in control of the situation and calling the shots with what i will and wont do) shifted so that he had all the control, making such demands of me.

Thank god for my friends who I called (one is Masha on this forum, the other is my best friend whom I love to death) and both of them were there for me and made me feel so much better.

So sorry for such a long rant but it's something which is so hard and I am still shaken by it.

Sorry also for this terribly written and long post (my blog post was much better RIP!)

So have you girls had regulars cross the line and make demands of you? How did you handle it.

xx

LH

I think the main question you should be asking yourself is: Why did you give this client ALL THAT power OVER YOURSELF? I mean...Your (tad naive) question is "Client crossed the line (or did I)?". Sorry, we all know of how guys will get away with murder when given the chance and how it's part of our job having "carved in stone" boundaries and sticking to them -keeping your mental sanity intact being one of the main reasons for it"-

So you should be asking yourself: what part of you went on "self-sabotage" mood and made you become a slave of this  creep? ( I'm guessing your submissive side "betrayed" you)

Sorry i don't mean to be condescending (please forgive me if I sound like that. I'm trying not to come out as judgemental). If you're a newbie I understand your issues with boundaries (as you still don't know the ropes) but if you're an experienced professional I would recommend time off  for some soul searching and boundary enforcement future techniques because you're not fully ready to work. You can end burned up very very up easily and loose your mental sanity -fast- if you don't set firm boundaries between you and your clients, and learn how to distinguish and compartmentalize your working from your real persona. Sounds to me like you have issues with boundaries, or maybe you  don't and this guy just "slid through the cracks". In any case take some time off and see what went wrong so that it doesn't happen again.

And be aware that if you're going to be writing posts in your blog about how much you enjoy being submissive you're going to attract all these dominant types and get into "mind fuck" scenarios (like the one you got into with this guy). You need to learn how to handle them properly otherwise it's going to be a nightmare.

best luck xoxo

Hi girls ,

Thanks for the good advice. I'm still a newbie in many ways and need to learn to establish boundaries better and yes I'm taking a couple days off to distress. Most of my
Clients are great and there's no problems but I won't be doing sub Dom stuff again that's for damned sure. And yeah I'll work on putting stronger boundaries in place

Thanks

This guy sounds kinda scary. I think he crossed a line.

oh my goodness, that sounds awful, you poor thing.

I thought I had a bad situation with a chap but nothing like this

A new client had been wanting an appt for a few weeks and we finally met, he was weird and I decided then not to see him again, he was pushy, kept calling me darling and pushing his cock against my pussy I told him time and time again no intercourse without a condom he said "i'm not going to put it in" but still kept pushing ( I was wet from some sneaky lube application before he got here) so we all know how easily it could have gone it.
I managed to roll him off me and made him put a condom on before we did anything else. Afterwards he said he would give me good feedback, by that night he still hadn't done any, he e-mailed me and said if I gave him my PIN to my private gallery he would do it, so I did - planning to change it the next day. He left the feedback and made another booking saying he would give me more good feedback even though he couldn't actually make the meet.
Then he e-mailed me for another booking and said he would do odd jobs around the house in exchange for sex and he would leave me good feedback, I said I don't do that, I work in CASH only, he said it was a shame as it would have been worth some good feedback.
 I felt I was in a bit of a blackmailing situation so I have changed the PIN and just ignore him now, infact I think I will block him completely now.

bdsm bookings can get quite scary, its a way of life for them. i wouldn't do bdsm if you are not truly comfortable with it.

thanks again girls?