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Author Topic: Anyone been asked to do a temporary marriage vow thing?  (Read 1505 times)

KimberlyC

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Anyone been asked to do a temporary marriage vow thing?
« on: 22 January 2014, 10:18:14 pm »
I was asked to do it tonight by a young Asian guy. Who, I have to say, otherwise did not look or seem to be particularly religious, or at least didn't fit the stereotype, which I know is just silly anyway. He was a young guy with a completely English accent and rather trendy, upscale Western clothes.

Anyway, I balked for some reason. I don't know what religious beliefs I have but I was already really annoyed with him for being extremely late and so I wasn't in the mood. I said that it was against MY religion to do such things and he left. Perhaps on a different day in a different mood I may have felt otherwise. But it bugs me and I'm not sure why.

I may not currently practice any religion (I'm Catholic), but I respect religion and I would be offended if someone treated a Catholic rite as some sort of superficial formality and just recited some words in order to appease a client. It just rubs me the wrong way.

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TheLittleMatchGirl

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Re: Anyone been asked to do a temporary marriage vow thing?
« Reply #1 on: 22 January 2014, 11:01:58 pm »
Yeah I'd be the same. When I marry I don't want the first time to be with a client!
It's just really ridiculous he'd leave as well bcos you aren't of his religion.
Something about the pretendy marriage doesn't sit right with me
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Caledonia

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Re: Anyone been asked to do a temporary marriage vow thing?
« Reply #2 on: 22 January 2014, 11:08:42 pm »
There's a full thread about this

http://www.saafe.info/main/index.php?topic=14270.msg112565#msg112565
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KimberlyC

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Re: Anyone been asked to do a temporary marriage vow thing?
« Reply #3 on: 22 January 2014, 11:18:58 pm »
I read that and I don't think this was quite the same thing. This guy wanted me to say the words at the start of the session as he seemed to think that we'd be covered for that one instance. Whether or not there was a divorce incantation to be recited at the end I never found out.

At any rate, he wasn't talking about witnesses or anything like that. It was like he thought that my just saying the words would somehow make what he was doing not a sin.

In Catholic theology, marriage is a sacrament and for a sacrament to be valid, the people doing it must believe in it and intend for the sacrament to validly happen. Someone reading the words of any sacramental rite off a card with no sincere intentions would not be just making noises with their mouths. There would be no spiritual result.

That's probably the primary reason why I balked.

I didn't even bother to tell him that I'm already married. Such a possibility likely never occurred to him.
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happyhappyjoyjoy

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Re: Anyone been asked to do a temporary marriage vow thing?
« Reply #4 on: 22 January 2014, 11:57:47 pm »
I think this can be quite common with islamic clients. It's just so that what they are doing is not seen as being against his religion. Really he should've asked if you would be happy to do that before the meeting. Perhaps he's learnt his lesson. I'm not surprised you balked considering your beliefs and background. As an athiest it wouldn't bother me as it wouldn't affect me spiritually and wouldn't have been the weirdest thisng I would've been askedc to do. I do think you divorce afterwards.
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Sassy Slapper

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Re: Anyone been asked to do a temporary marriage vow thing?
« Reply #5 on: 23 January 2014, 08:55:49 am »
Stay away from this, apart from the religion aspect its illegal. You can be arrested , splashed all over your local and if you are unlucky national newspapers and then named and shamed plus you could end up in prison.
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Sassy Slapper

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Re: Anyone been asked to do a temporary marriage vow thing?
« Reply #6 on: 23 January 2014, 08:59:17 am »
Regarding saying words at the beginning of the booking. It means nothing. Words to bind in marriage have to be said with another male witness AND an Iman, they also have to be said at the mosque. To divorce he literally has to walk around 3 times you saying I DIVORCE YOU three times with, again, a male witness and or an Iman.

Some countries do have what it termed a temporary marriage for this sort of situation but its not pakistan as far as I know. Its one of the arab countries, he probably read it somewhere and though AHA!!! whilst a lightbulb went on in his head without knowing the full facts
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KimberlyC

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Re: Anyone been asked to do a temporary marriage vow thing?
« Reply #7 on: 23 January 2014, 10:21:30 am »
Quote from: Chloe Kisses on 23 January 2014, 08:55:49 am
Stay away from this, apart from the religion aspect its illegal. You can be arrested , splashed all over your local and if you are unlucky national newspapers and then named and shamed plus you could end up in prison.

I don't think it's illegal to read some stupid words off a piece of paper in private.

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amy

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Re: Anyone been asked to do a temporary marriage vow thing?
« Reply #8 on: 23 January 2014, 11:25:23 am »
Quote from: KimberlyC on 23 January 2014, 10:21:30 am
I don't think it's illegal to read some stupid words off a piece of paper in private.

If it was the jails would be overflowing with folk who bought Fifty Shades.
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curvy_girl

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Re: Anyone been asked to do a temporary marriage vow thing?
« Reply #9 on: 23 January 2014, 11:36:15 am »
It is illegal. You see it all the time. Even if it is not for a visa and just sex they wont see it like that I don't think. I did have a guy ask me to marry him for ?5000 quid for a visa. I kindly declined as It is not my thing at all!
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Caledonia

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Re: Anyone been asked to do a temporary marriage vow thing?
« Reply #10 on: 23 January 2014, 12:29:28 pm »
Quote from: curvy_girl on 23 January 2014, 11:36:15 am
It is illegal. You see it all the time. Even if it is not for a visa and just sex they wont see it like that I don't think. I did have a guy ask me to marry him for ?5000 quid for a visa. I kindly declined as It is not my thing at all!

Thats a completely different thing, what your talking about involves going to a Mosque (or other place of worship), witnesses and signing an official form.

This isn't what happens all that happens is you both say a few words in the privacy of your flat/hotel or his place, this is not a legally binding contract, it is just their way of getting around the no sex before marriage rule.

Just like if I recited the wedding vows with my bf and we signed a piece of paper alone in the privacy of our home it would legally mean nothing.
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happyhappyjoyjoy

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Re: Anyone been asked to do a temporary marriage vow thing?
« Reply #11 on: 23 January 2014, 01:29:41 pm »
yeah it definitely isn't illegal to have a pretend marriage otherwise I think me and a young boy I met in primary school woulda been sent to juvi!
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TheLittleMatchGirl

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Re: Anyone been asked to do a temporary marriage vow thing?
« Reply #12 on: 23 January 2014, 02:37:48 pm »
Quote from: Chloe Kisses on 23 January 2014, 08:55:49 am
Stay away from this, apart from the religion aspect its illegal. You can be arrested , splashed all over your local and if you are unlucky national newspapers and then named and shamed plus you could end up in prison.

Haha, yeah I'd be another one locked up if this was true! I got married every lunchtime in primary school
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