SAAFE forum
General Category => Questions and Answers => Topic started by: Mafafomafafofo on 04 July 2014, 02:33:39 pm
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I have a client who continues to pressure me very often to not use a condom. I see him 3-4 times every week, he has shown me his papers stating that he is clean of stds and I am on birth control. He believes that since he's invested so much money in me, that eventually there should be some sort of trust in which he doesn't have to wear protection.
Wearing a condom is my #1 rule and though I am comfortable with him and trust him, the real reason I don't want to break this rule is because I don't want his old naked dick inside my vagina and my mouth. Lol that's probably dumb, but it grosses me out more!
Plus I already give him a discounted rate and extra time, every time.
Is it wrong that I make him use a condom even though I see him so often?
Do you have any clients that you allow bare back?
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It would be very easy to fake STI test result papers, when I have mine done the results come via email as a PDF file from a private clinic on their headed paper, it would be very easy to fiddle with and change the dates, then print them out on a printer and there you go, realistic STI cert.
He sounds like an idiot to me, who cares how much he spends with you, your health is worth more than money.
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To answer your first question... It's not wrong at all that you don't let him go bareback! Stick to your guns! I know it can be difficult to resist giving in to pressure to regular clients who give us so much business, but I'd rather not have this man's business if he was going to give me a gross disease or make my heart hit the floor every time he called to arrange an appointment because I'd be dreading bareback with him. I don't believe someone producing an STD status card is any proof they are clear of STDs, as they could have had unprotected sex and caught something between getting tested and getting the results and that card.
Second question - Nope, none at all. I will block someone even if they request bareback. My thinking behind that is "If you ask for something you really want and are refused, you might try to get it anyway..." and bareback is one of the few things I can refuse to do that they could sneakily try to do anyway, by pulling the condom off in doggy or ripping it or something.
If you don't want to offer bareback, then don't, and good on you for saying no to keep yourself sane. He should go see a lady that has made the choice to go bareback and is happy about it, instead of seeing someone who does not want to do it at all. He pays for your time, and has the pleasure of doing things with you that you like in that time - he is not entitled to jackshit as long as you advertise honestly, and I'm sure you do indeed.
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A client isn't entitled to bareback after a certain amount of money or time spent. He has chosen to spend time and money for the services you provide knowing that you always use a condom. Him trying to coerce something that could have serious negative consequences is a pretty shitty thing for him to do to be honest
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He sounds like an idoit. Even if he is nice, that is out of the question. Don't give in. What if you ended up with HIV because he faked his papers. That's your life we're talking about, who cares about 1 regular. There will be others. No matter how desperate you get for money, never do bareback.
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They would have to pay me at least ?1million up front, so that if I caught HIV and ended up with full blown AIDS and died prematurely, at least I had some monetary recompense for my children and grandchildren to remember me by.
In other words: I would NEVER go without a condom. Life's short enough as it is, without adding Russian Roulette to the mix. And even if I lived my days out with controlled HIV, it still would mean I was living with a long-term infectious, potentially fatal/terminal, disease.
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Don't know about other clinics, but in London got my HIV test is immediately word of mouth because it takes a less than a minute, and anything else by text message for bacterial e.t.c infections a day later. Personally, I think it's a bit dodgy that some people say they have paper work to prove it, that so 90's or 80's lol
Don't risk your health over money, this is a high risk job when no protection is used, no matter what he says you don't know where else he goes to, maybe even convinced to do BB with him or even if he has an agenda. x
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Like the others have said it is easy to fake a STI test and also contract something whilst waiting for results. I too wouldn't see someone who made me dread seeing him because he was pushing for a service I didn't offer regardless of whether he's a regular or not.
This regular of yours is already getting extra time and discount and is pushing for more.
Personally I'd tell him you don't want to see him as he's making you feel uncomfortable constantly asking for BB. xx
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Dexi is right. It can take 4 weeks to 3 months for HIV to show up on a test, so someone can be unaware, plus even tho the risks are much lowers, if someone is on hiv meds, the test can come back negative even tho they are postive.
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As expected, the chorus is going 'I wouldn't do it', but that doesn't matter - you're not comfortable with the idea. ('Quite right', goes the chorus!)
There are lots of people who would not have continued to see him after he kept moaning after the first refusal...
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There are no (zero) circumstances when I would have intercourse without a condom. It doesn't matter how much a client spends, I would not break or bend my rules - in fact someone that valuable I most definitely wouldn't be doing anything like that with.
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Don't do it if you don't want to as obviously you will start to resent him and even if he offers you an ultimatum you must do what you feel is right.
I had a regular when I was newish who I fancied and stupidly I let him 'dip it in' after about 3 months and he always pulled out at the end but after 4 or 5 times of doing that I decided to end the meetings as I regretted it and I told him that. Although I never caught anything and at the time I felt ok about it I just didn't want to do it anymore. When he initially asked he didn't pressure me so that was the difference.
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One word answer for me ..... 'NEVER'
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Never for me. There are plenty more fish in the sea (or clients in the world lol).
Even putting aside the STI issue - No form of birth control is 100% reliable.
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I have a client who continues to pressure me very often to not use a condom. I see him 3-4 times every week, he has shown me his papers stating that he is clean of stds and I am on birth control. He believes that since he's invested so much money in me, that eventually there should be some sort of trust in which he doesn't have to wear protection.
Wearing a condom is my #1 rule and though I am comfortable with him and trust him, the real reason I don't want to break this rule is because I don't want his old naked dick inside my vagina and my mouth. Lol that's probably dumb, but it grosses me out more!
Plus I already give him a discounted rate and extra time, every time.
Is it wrong that I make him use a condom even though I see him so often?
Do you have any clients that you allow bare back?
Bareback aside: this guy is a tool. He's trying to manipulate you. He hasn't "invested" a goddamn thing. One "invests" in a future... that there will be a payoff down the line. The point of prostitution is they pay, they have sex, and you part ways with no obligation to one another.
Giving him a discount and extra time probably made him feel like he could push your boundaries.
If you don't want his naked dick in you, then that is that. You don't need a reason. It's your body and you do what the Hell you want with it. He can go "invest" his money elsewhere. Cut this guy loose.
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Absolutely not... if it bothers you, then he should be respectful of your boundaries and not be pressuring you to provide a service. I hate when people spend money and then act like they own you-- they are giving you money for services rendered, they didn't give it to you out of the kindness of their heart. You wouldn't see an accountant for 5 years and then say, hey dude so you I paid you to do my taxes for five years how about you do them for free this year? I had tons of clients like that when I was a stripper, after months of spending money they would expect that I would sleep with them outside. And I'm sure I'll be getting similar clients as an escort once I have regulars.
You have to go with what you are comfortable with, because otherwise you're going to feel like shit about it afterwards if it's not your decision, you're going to violated and like you were used. It's clear from your posts this service he is asking for makes you uncomfortable and you are only considering it because he is pressuring you... tell him to go do bareback with someone who actually offers it and not to come back and see you anymore as he is clearly not a respectful client to begin with! Asking for it once after months of seeing you, I would still frown and hold it against him but wouldn't drop him-- asking you repeatedly is disgusting!
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You invest in stocks & shares and you can buy /invest in property
Never yet heard of investing in a escort
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I think some clients deliberately try and 'groom'some escorts...spending alot of time with them, flattering them, fussing over them etc to manipulate them into giving more than they normally would. He sounds like one of those types...jog him on.
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There are NO CIRCUMSTANCES that I would consider not using a condom even with a long term client. He is a boundary pusher of the worst kind and his money and presence wouldnt be acceptable on my premises.
My life is worth more than that and I respect myself enough not to put it at risk.
I like the saying "I would rather die of old age than die of ignorance" and in this case it is very apt.
If I was to even consider BB my head would be saying to me each time I looked at a client or whoever I was going to shag, "it could be you that's giving me a life sentence .. or rather a death sentence" and NO PERSON is worth that in my books.
I'll stick to staying clean and healthy thank you very much.
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id been asked for bareback and told they had a certificate for their disease free cock. still no thanks. I don't see why any of us should be pressured to do this or other sex acts we arnt advertising.
he is pushing his luck and in the end you might not see him if he carries on like this.
ive also had clients think its ok to push their uncovered cock near the entrance of my v which at this point ive pulled away fast and then said put a condom on. some even loose the erection and blame it on the condom and expect us to ride bareback its still no. I just find myself repeating I don't do bareback, they get the message in the end and I don't end up feeling worried about catching something.
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If I'm ever asked (rarely) they are told they can pay me extra...
"I earn about X a week ... I plan to earn that for X amount of years... I would like this paid in full before the act, just in case I never work again due to HIV, or any of the other viruses that stay in your system FOR LIFE." :FF
They usually shut up after that.
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★★I wouldn't do without under no circumstances do unprotected penetration not even for 100,000 pounds as my health is priceless. I will say sure though will do owo providing it meets my ocd standards. :-)★★
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To be honest this has happened to me several times, men asking why we need one and trying to once closer and closer. The truth is though, you owe them nothing. The pay for you because otherwise they couldn't have you. You are a treat to them..not a bf. They pay for your time whether they cum or not. If he keeps it up just offer him an ultimatum. Say you are never going to go bareback and if that's the only thing he needs from you the obviously he is wasting his time. Trust me if he sees you that often he won't want to give that up. You don't deserve to be pressured that way. It makes it so awkward and it makes us seem like just a hole to them.
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it doesn't matter how many times he sees you or what money he 'invests' that's always been his choice. you never said see me more and down the line I will give you bareback so don't let him get in your head and make you feel bad! He is trying to take advantage don't let him!
xx
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There are no (zero) circumstances when I would have intercourse without a condom. It doesn't matter how much a client spends, I would not break or bend my rules - in fact someone that valuable I most definitely wouldn't be doing anything like that with.
This!
Even in my personal life I would never take the risk. It makes me laugh when clients expect you to believe that you're the only wg they've considered doing this with ::)