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Author Topic: Can't face work :(  (Read 2943 times)

Pretty Pink

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Can't face work :(
« on: 12 April 2017, 11:03:39 am »
Hi Girlies,

Bit of a crisis here.. my life seems to have completely changed this past few weeks and it's sending me a bit inward.

My touring buddy has retired and I was ok plodding on my own for a few weeks totting between hotels but then I had a weirdo (2 weeks ago now) and it knocked my confidence massively so I decided to take Easter off cause it's generally rubbish anyway.

Then me and my partner decided to split after 6 years of living together as we just arnt as happy as we were and he's struggling work wise which is making him unbearable to me and my son.
I know the best thing for everyone is to split but it's hard, I can't even cry I feel so numb.

It's all affecting my judgements, I don't think I can face going back to work and I'm not sure why.

My whole life revolved around this guy and I know going back to work is the best thing to keep busy ect but I don't think I will cope with my own thoughts if it is a quiet day.. how has anyone else got past this?

I need to pull my head out my ass and rapid cause I haven't got unlimited amounts of money to be sat around and I don't think I can handle being sat around either  ::) I'm in a lose lose.

Xx


losthope

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Re: Can't face work :(
« Reply #1 on: 12 April 2017, 11:08:52 am »
Why not book a last minute holiday and go and clear your head a little ? Big changes all at once can be a bit daunting, its probably the combination of the split and losing your tour buddy ? You could always try and find a new one on here ? Hope you perk up soon

Pretty Pink

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Re: Can't face work :(
« Reply #2 on: 12 April 2017, 11:15:14 am »
I'm going to book a holiday very soon but I need to get back to work to get the money together and my son has his exams at the beginning of May so I don't really want to take him out of school yet. I just really need to shake this.

I think il post for a tour buddy and see what happens.

Thankyou xx

Wailing Banshee

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Re: Can't face work :(
« Reply #3 on: 12 April 2017, 12:14:35 pm »
I  think we all have times like this, either after a horrid client or when something happens in our personal life. I have realised that to get back into escorting when you really don't want to is to wait for a regular client who you know is lovely and easy and will sort of remind you that actually some guys are OK and I think having cash in your hand is always a boost!  if no regulars are forthcoming maybe try and make yourself see someone who sounds extra nice or just start with a 30 minute booking.

I do think if you leave it too long you'll find it harder. What about considering camming? Not as lucrative but it'll bring in something and keep you busy.

This may sound trite, but do get out at least once a day- even if it's just a walk around the block or to local park- I really think fresh air and exercise helps our state of minds. It's not the answer to everything but I think falling into laying about inside and wasting time on crap tv or internet doesn't help.

How about redoing your profile or website? It takes time and might make you feel enthusiasm for the job- perhaps take some selfies to add to gallery/twitter/website- it'll be an excuse to tart yourself up and takes up time as well as possibly bringing in business.

It's going to take a bit of time to get over a breakup so don't beat yourself up about it, but it will get better.

Tickle

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Re: Can't face work :(
« Reply #4 on: 12 April 2017, 03:39:08 pm »
I  think we all have times like this, either after a horrid client or when something happens in our personal life. I have realised that to get back into escorting when you really don't want to is to wait for a regular client who you know is lovely and easy and will sort of remind you that actually some guys are OK and I think having cash in your hand is always a boost!  if no regulars are forthcoming maybe try and make yourself see someone who sounds extra nice or just start with a 30 minute booking.

I do think if you leave it too long you'll find it harder. What about considering camming? Not as lucrative but it'll bring in something and keep you busy.

This may sound trite, but do get out at least once a day- even if it's just a walk around the block or to local park- I really think fresh air and exercise helps our state of minds. It's not the answer to everything but I think falling into laying about inside and wasting time on crap tv or internet doesn't help.

How about redoing your profile or website? It takes time and might make you feel enthusiasm for the job- perhaps take some selfies to add to gallery/twitter/website- it'll be an excuse to tart yourself up and takes up time as well as possibly bringing in business.

It's going to take a bit of time to get over a breakup so don't beat yourself up about it, but it will get better.

With some adjustments for context and circumstances this is my plan. You suggestion is very practical and a good pick me up and recuperative therapy from knocks and upsets.

My neighbour is a good friend and she harangued myself when I turned inward after experiencing some stress. She has a lot of get up and go. Being around good people can help a lot too instead of tolerating toxicity and can help inspire. I have a lot of hills to climb but keep gently kicking myself. Even when I have slipped recently I have recovered and kept plodding on with positive things even if they are small.

Jessiegirl

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Re: Can't face work :(
« Reply #5 on: 12 April 2017, 04:02:55 pm »
Sorry to hear about your break up. It will heal with time but you need to keep busy.
I get down about work too and often take a few days off. I have another job too which helps. Luckily I have some good regulars and one in particular always seems to cheer me up when I'm down.
It's difficult to do this job when you are down and I know i cannot provide a good service feeling this way so just take some time off until I feel better.
Anyway hope it all works out for you.

wishlist

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Re: Can't face work :(
« Reply #6 on: 12 April 2017, 05:01:35 pm »
Would it be possible to do some cam?I do have moments when iv stopped escorting and worked more on cam, if you are feeling as you are it maybe could give you a boost and make you feel safer till you get back on track and still keep the money coming in, feel free to PM me x

Pretty Pink

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Re: Can't face work :(
« Reply #7 on: 12 April 2017, 09:59:18 pm »
Some great advice thanks girls.

I'm going to go back to work next Tuesday and see how I feel, my heart will soon heal it's just getting used to things now which is hard but doable.

I would love to do cammimg but I'm always scared someone could snapshot a picture of me?

Iv thought about the txt chat on aw but I'm not sure how lucrative that would be xx

SweetAngel

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Re: Can't face work :(
« Reply #8 on: 13 April 2017, 08:39:48 pm »
I totally understand you. Ive been and still am in position when your life gets big turn and you lose motivation to exist. But don't leave the work behind. Thats a big mistake. Last month I was not in mood to work, I've been so lazy and turning down bookings and now I regret it so much because besides all other problems now my bank account makes me upset which is something you don't want (the stupid me was still booking rooms and hotels to work). Also don't mix personal woth professional. Go back to work, it will keep you busy, you will make money and meeting nice clients is always good for your mental health. Think about your goals. In moments like this just don't let yourself go down. Be stronger than ever! Good luck x

SheilaStar

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Re: Can't face work :(
« Reply #9 on: 14 April 2017, 07:14:37 pm »
What usually helps me is to take time off away. If I cant afford it the next best thing is to stick to my normal routine. When I start to work my mind gets occupied with clients and sometimes their own problems! Money also helps!

Naughtyforty

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Re: Can't face work :(
« Reply #10 on: 14 April 2017, 10:05:46 pm »
If you really can't face working again! Quit, just do it! This job is too tough enough without precarious mental health.  But.
If you think you can muddle through...
Exercise, get the good endorphins flowing. I swear by moderate exercise at LEAST! 2-3 to to times a week for 30-40 mins. Anything, Zumba, jogging, cycling, gym. If you can do more, do it.
Be kind to yourself mentally!
 I am good/sexy/intelligent/interesting/worthy enough. Yes I am! Believe it!
Research Positive Mental Attitude!

Be kind to yourself, take breaks, offload with trusted persons, if you have none, do it here,
Laugh at the shite which comes with this job.
Set achievable short term goals, reward yourself when you reach them.
Look after you!

I have had a few wobbles, they are from my own overactive imagination, I have suffered anxiety on-off since I was 12-13. There is no basis for my anxiety related to SW. I have not had a bad experience but find it easy to slip into " he will dupe me/assault me/out me.
Rationalise these feelings!   What is the reality / evidence / thought process behind this?
Its usually Crap/Jack Shit/Paranoia for no real reason.
Research different mental health guides. There is a good book thread on here. Use them.
Cognitive behavioral techniques are great in my opinion
Love yourself x




elainegirl

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Re: Can't face work :(
« Reply #11 on: 15 April 2017, 01:46:06 pm »
Why not book a last minute holiday and go and clear your head a little ? Big changes all at once can be a bit daunting, its probably the combination of the split and losing your tour buddy ? You could always try and find a new one on here ? Hope you perk up soon

Yes I agree this statement. You lost you working buddy.

Hadley

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Re: Can't face work :(
« Reply #12 on: 15 April 2017, 01:54:22 pm »
If at all possible do take some time off, if you can.

I'm sorry to hear about your break up.

In my opinion, if you feel like your judgement has been compromised (as happens to all of us when a major life change happens) don't work if you don't have to. Good judgement is important in our work x

Sorry for brevity of message but posting on my crappy phone xx

Sending you lots of good wishes

H xx
"Why do people say "grow some balls"? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding."

-Betty White

meetingdiversity

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Re: Can't face work :(
« Reply #13 on: 15 April 2017, 07:27:02 pm »
When I get bothered not to work and there have been times where I just think stuff it and do nothing I find what I do in the morning sets me up for the day mostly.

SheilaStar

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Re: Can't face work :(
« Reply #14 on: 15 April 2017, 07:36:28 pm »
When I get bothered not to work and there have been times where I just think stuff it and do nothing I find what I do in the morning sets me up for the day mostly.

+1