Louise, if you can cope financially without resorting to sex work, I'd urge you to think about it very carefully. It has a huge impact on your life (personal and professional), and all your current relationships. You will either have to lie to friends and family, which means you no longer have close, trusting relationships with people who love you, or you tell the truth, with the result that many of your current friends back away or worry about you, and family will freak out with worry every time you don't pick up the phone when they ring, imagining something awful has happened to you. Your parents will wonder what they did wrong in raising you and how they may have failed you, any brothers and sisters won't want their kids to have a prossie auntie. If I had been lucky enough to have daughters of my own, I'd rather sell a kidney than let them go down the path into prostitution. My neighbours, who initially were chatty and friendly, now ignore me. They're not rude, but it's obvious I'm not considered part of the community here.

I have decided to lie about what I do, and I find it so exhausting that I now avoid socialising altogether and feel really lonely. Like most sex workers, I only planned to do it for a short time in order to pay back debts, and then found that it's very difficult to give up a steady cash income. I now have a gap in my CV so wide you could drive a truck through it, so "straight" work and a normal life are no longer an option for me. The job has meant attracting all the wrong men: nice genuine guys don't want to start a family with a hooker, and those guys who think it's "cool" to have a girlfriend who sleeps with other men for a living are often very damaged, addicted, expect you to pay the bills, and are frankly f*cked up.

As for this work giving you more confidence - my self-esteem really suffered from allowing hundreds, if not thousands, of men to use me as a  glorified sp*nk bucket. Eventually you realise that you've fallen into a dreadful trap to be used by strangers who forget about you the minute they walk out of your house. I have known many colleagues who resorted to drink and drugs to deal with their unhappiness.

I don't know how old you are, but I suspect you are still rather young. As you get older, your high sex drive will reduce and not be so distracting any more. Also, are you sure that it's really a matter of being highly sexed, or do you simply seek male approval, flattery and admiration by making yourself sexually available? I know that was the case with me, and is often a result of insecurity and abuse. It was in my case, and I wish I had somebody at the time who helped me to address these issues in a healthier, more healing way. Please think about it very carefully! It sounds as though your friends think it's a bad idea, and I very much hope you'll talk to somebody you trust before you  make a decision. Speak to your GP and get a referral to a counsellor, speak to your priest if you go to church, or ring the Samaritans for an anonymous chat with a non-judgmental stranger. Prostitution is not glamorous, it's not particularly safe, it's not personally fulfilling, and there is no career path.

I think Sour Grape's post is brilliant. Everything she says is true. The only difference is how YOU feel about those things. If you are asking your friends what they think, then you are probably not the sort of person who doesn't give a shit about other people.

I hate deception. I like to be open with people. I also feel like it helps to not worry about a secret getting out. Like I've taken a potential weapon away from someone who may wish to hurt me. But I've found out that there's a reason why sex work pays so well: because the majority of people will not do it. If it weren't taboo and shameful, then it wouldn't pay so well. It would be just like giving manicures or styling hair. Only without the qualifications that make it a specialised skill and therefor worth more than the minimum wage.

When people find out you're an escort, most of them will then view  you differently. You are sitting in front of them, a perfectly ordinary person just like them. But they will see you through distorted lenses of prejudice and shame. They will see you in a lurid light. They will assume that you are damaged, desperate, diseased, and immoral. That you're greedy and have no limits to what you might do... they won't trust you. They'll simply think that you are an intrinsically bad person who will do anything for money, including stealing or something like that.

Some people won't even view you as an autonomous human being with the right to life and property. They may try to rob or rape or kill you, or may react to such events with a shrug and "serves her right."

Or they may assume that you're a poor, damaged victim who deserves pity and intervention.

If you talk about the weather, it won't be the same weather they're experiencing - it will be whore weather. Anything and everything you do will be viewed in the light of your being a whore.

Quote from: KimberlyC on 16 January 2014, 12:38:03 pm

I think Sour Grape's post is brilliant. Everything she says is true.

I think we need to point out the difference between something being 'true' and it being 'an opinion that we agree with'. I've just read it too, and whilst I certainly agree that the OP should think carefully about becoming a prostitute, I can't relate to the rest at all.

My job has had a more positive impact on my life than any other decision I've ever made, my partner (who is categorically not some weird, sleazy oddball) friends and family certainly don't treat me like a freak and my self esteem is far, far better than it ever was when I was working 40-50 hours a week for minimum wage and being treated like a piece of shit.

All that said, deciding to become self employed in a demanding, cut throat industry on the basis that you like shagging is dangerously naive. Hopefully the OP has had chance to read the main site by now .

This was what I was kinda trying to say, life is what you make if it and it doesn't have to be a road of pure misery! I thought the post was a little bit depressing personally but I understand it can turn out bad but it shouldn't be taken as gospel to every given situation....