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Author Topic: Birth control has wrecked my sex drive - Can't motivate myself to work  (Read 1815 times)

PassionFlower

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Does anyone else find their libido and ability to work suffers while on contraceptives?

I started on the depo injection in April and by mid May my mental health had tanked and my sex drive has diminished to nothing. I've always had a super high sex drive, so this is really troubling me now. I enjoy sex with my partner but don't get any physical pleasure anymore, I'm still wet and turned on by him, the noises me makes, and the pleasure he's getting; but I have to fake my orgasms now, something I've never done with partners. It's definitely me that's changed, he's devoted to my pleasure and often forgoes his own orgasm when he's satisfied me.

But when it comes to clients, I cannot muster up even the slightest enthusiasm right now. The idea of kissing or getting intimate with strangers is now repulsive to me. I've found my nipples and clit are super sensitive, normally I can educate men on how to be gentle and touch me in ways that I like, but now they get sore really easily and I've given up asking for lighter touching or trying to fake enjoyment with them.

I'm also finding my pretty stable cycle has been messed up and I'm having a light bleed just about every day since my first period on the depo. So if I can psych myself up to take a booking I'm constantly worrying about having a random bleed during, I can't use sponges, so I'm just basically offering bjs.

As I'm neurodiverse I really struggle with motivation at the best of times, but knowing I'm going to be suffering through sessions and putting on a poor performance just leaves me not wanting to work at all. I'm also becoming a cranky bitch with clients making enquiries... I cannot run a business like this

I know I have to just wait this out for now (they can't exactly suck the hormones back out!) but does anyone with similar experience have any advice? Have you found the Depo gets easier to handle after subsequent injections?

Due to other medical conditions most BC pills aren't an option, I tried the implant and it gave me a days long migraine which stopped 20mins after it was removed, and the 3 coils I've had (1 copper, 2 mirena) have all caused sex or my periods to become unbearably painful. Condoms for work are fine but in a relationship cause a complete mental block for me, I need the intimacy with my partner and he's struggling with the idea of a vasectomy, so we're in this weird limbo.

I'd love to hear any thoughts of advice from anyone who's been in a similar situation or who uses less well known methods of BC if they've had positive experiences

Thanks! xx

Cuddly555

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Dear friend, I'd like to show you my utmost sympathy!!
Not only I'm quite expert in this matter because it's part of my professional background (my PhD is in Biochemistry), but my personal research for a contraceptive method was particularly cumbersome.
I'm using BC pills now but I did consider the Depo-Provera injections too.
They seemed to me quite practical and easy to use.
But, one of the reason why I discarded the option is exactly because I wasn't prepared to experience what you're going through now!
It's widely known (and somewhat accepted) that «depression, reduced interest in sex and irregular periods and breakthrough bleeding» do happen quite frequently, especially during the first months of the treatment.
I may sell my body, never my soul!

amy

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The best I can offer (and I do know the feeling, although I've never used Depo) is to work out how many you can manage on and let yourself stop once you've done them - if I'm burnt out I tell myself to just do two and then I can pack up and do something else even if it's 11am. But if you can't, you can't (and the feeling of dread as yet another nipple tweaker starts bashing away is not one I envy you either).

I know they're old fashioned, but have you tried a diaphragm? It's the only other barrier method I can think of and I don't know how old you are but unless you're super fertile it might be worth a shot at least? Or what about the mini pill - I take Cerazette and it's great, although everybody is different.

It'll wear off - hang in there :)

Cuddly555

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have you tried a diaphragm? It's the only other barrier method I can think of and I don't know how old you are but unless you're super fertile it might be worth a shot at least? Or what about the mini pill - I take Cerazette and it's great, although everybody is different.
In my modest opinion, any oral contraceptive at the beginning of the treatment provokes a reduction of the libido, given the fact that induces hormonal changes... I too, Amy, am taking Cerazette, and for at least two months noticed various side-effects...
So for a person like this user who seems very affected by this sort of hormonal medicaments, I agree that diaphragm could represent a very viable option...
I may sell my body, never my soul!

PassionFlower

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Thank you for the responses and the sympathy!

Workwise, demand is pretty low lately, which is part of the problem. Normally I take advance bookings and close my diary off for the week when I make my target. If I don't have advance bookings I'll go Available Today on AW, get ready first thing in the morning and just wait for the phone to ring. Getting myself into the headspace to go "on call" is just really difficult, but I've been in this game for long enough to know there's nothing to do but put my big girl pants on and actually do it.

As for the birth control issues, I have an appointment next week for a phone consult with family planning. They sent me a link to an info website and the only option I haven't tried or have issues preventing would be the patch.

I can't take oral contraceptives as I have a condition resulting in frequent bouts of the vomiting (sorry for TMI!) A combination of being plus size, with short arms and a high cervix rules out the diaphragm for the same reasons as sponges, I can't reach them when they're in situ lol. When I had my first coil put in the Dr joked about the threads being a trip hazard if they were long enough for me to feel them!

I went through most forms of contraceptives in my early 20s but it was mainly looking for something to control my periods. I figured I'd give them another shot now I'm mid 30s as my new boyfriend produces supersperm, he got me pregnant while on noriday, the same thing happened with 2 of his previous partners too xx

TrueVoice

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Hi
Hope you are well.
I used Evra pach and worked well on me . I stopped now as I did my menopause . But it really worked well and i had a great sex life with it .
Best wishes

amy

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Well in that case your partner should be fine to choose from the many safe, convenient and inexpensive contraceptive options readily available to men in the parallel universe I just made up ::).

Since that's never going to happen, I would hope the patch might be a goer for you! Were you offered a choice of contraceptive injections - there's definitely more than one (although getting a less popular one might mean going private)?

As for the advance bookings, could you maybe run a discount offer for punters who book ahead (like £10 or £20 off if they book the day before)? I know someone who had success with that, and she still got on the day/full price ones too if she wanted them. The getting up and getting ready is the worst part for me if I'm not feeling like it, and I always find it easier if I know somebody is coming at 11 o'clock or whatever because I can plan. Plus I always feel better once the first one is out of the way and I can get on a bit of a roll :)

PassionFlower

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Hi
Hope you are well.
I used Evra pach and worked well on me . I stopped now as I did my menopause . But it really worked well and i had a great sex life with it .
Best wishes

Thank you for your insight!

I worry my BMI might be too high for the patch but at this point it's the only option so fingers crossed! xx

PassionFlower

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Well in that case your partner should be fine to choose from the many safe, convenient and inexpensive contraceptive options readily available to men in the parallel universe I just made up ::).

Since that's never going to happen, I would hope the patch might be a goer for you! Were you offered a choice of contraceptive injections - there's definitely more than one (although getting a less popular one might mean going private)?

As for the advance bookings, could you maybe run a discount offer for punters who book ahead (like £10 or £20 off if they book the day before)? I know someone who had success with that, and she still got on the day/full price ones too if she wanted them. The getting up and getting ready is the worst part for me if I'm not feeling like it, and I always find it easier if I know somebody is coming at 11 o'clock or whatever because I can plan. Plus I always feel better once the first one is out of the way and I can get on a bit of a roll :)

Haha yeah, we've discussed him getting a vasectomy as he's got all the kids he wants and I don't want any but he's hesitant. He'd trying to work through the issues though

I was only offered one kind of injection when I got it a few months ago though the website the family planning clinic sent me does seem to list more options.

That's my exact mindset having something booked in to make the effort of getting ready worthwhile lol, I might just try the discount thing, thanks for the advice xx

Teetee

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I was on the injection years ago and I hated it. It made me depressed and put on weight which it did the same to my friends who were on it. Have you considered the copper coil? It stays in for 10 years but can be taken out anytime and it does not contain any hormones so you will still have your periods as normal. I had it for 10 years.

PassionFlower

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I was on the injection years ago and I hated it. It made me depressed and put on weight which it did the same to my friends who were on it. Have you considered the copper coil? It stays in for 10 years but can be taken out anytime and it does not contain any hormones so you will still have your periods as normal. I had it for 10 years.

Yep, that definitely mirrors my experience with the injection!

I've had the copper coil but it was awful getting put in (had to pull over while driving home to vomit) and made sex painful, my periods also got heavier for the 6 months I could stand it. I also had 2 hormonal coils that made me bleed constantly and were also uncomfortable during sex... one actually wandered off and had to be removed before it perforated anything vital. So I'm very much put off IUDs though I know many, many people swear by them xx

xw5

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Part of me is astonished that Depo-Provera is still available in the UK, never mind offered, but the history of contraception does show that - outside not ending up pregnant - women's health is not always near the top of the list of concerns.

Yes, it's long-lasting and effective in terms of preventing pregnancy, but the implant lasts longer, is the most effective form of contraception there is, and as you've seen, if there are any issues you can take it out and be back to normal very quickly.

If you have a problem, as here, with DP there's effectively nothing you can do apart from wait months for the levels in you to drop off.

If you can't tolerate the implant, I'm doubly astonished anyone suggested DP and I wonder if any hormone-based method is for you.

While you're suffering, is changing the services you offer an option?
'The Ian formerly known as SW5'. What they said: "Indispensable", "You are our best resource", and (hours later!) "I'm afraid that you're being made redundant..."

Cuddly555

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Part of me is astonished that Depo-Provera is still available in the UK, never mind offered, but the history of contraception does show that - outside not ending up pregnant - women's health is not always near the top of the list of concerns.

Very dear Amy,
while here I'm just beginning to show my presence, trying to be pussy-footed, I cannot avoid to intervene now, since you just touched a very raw nerve of  mine...
To put it in context, I cannot define myself a «Medical Practitioner», because I'm professionaly a «Biochemist», but -believe me- if I start criticizing the approach of the «Allopathic Medicine» towards most of the so-called diseases, I have enough reliable ammunitions!
In the case of DP and/or any other Contraceptive product, always remember that the bottom-line of BigPharma is much more important than our health, OK?
I may sell my body, never my soul!

xw5

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I'm not Amy, but I have views about the effectiveness of much 'alternative medicine' / 'woo'..

.. and know that it's off-topic here.
'The Ian formerly known as SW5'. What they said: "Indispensable", "You are our best resource", and (hours later!) "I'm afraid that you're being made redundant..."

Cuddly555

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I'm not Amy, but I have views about the effectiveness of much 'alternative medicine' / 'woo'..

.. and know that it's off-topic here.



Dear "xw5", I apologise!
Thanks for reminding me what's "off-topic" and what's not... I personally was convinced that discussing therapeutic issues was the subject of this thread!
Anyway I do respect your views as much as anybody's, but my point wasn't much in favour of the so-called "Alternative Medicine", I only warned about the mechanisms which move the pharmaceutical industry...
« Last Edit: 25 May 2023, 05:30:45 pm by Cuddly555 »
I may sell my body, never my soul!