SAAFE forum
General Category => Questions and Answers => Topic started by: PassionFlower on 24 May 2023, 11:44:47 am
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Does anyone else find their libido and ability to work suffers while on contraceptives?
I started on the depo injection in April and by mid May my mental health had tanked and my sex drive has diminished to nothing. I've always had a super high sex drive, so this is really troubling me now. I enjoy sex with my partner but don't get any physical pleasure anymore, I'm still wet and turned on by him, the noises me makes, and the pleasure he's getting; but I have to fake my orgasms now, something I've never done with partners. It's definitely me that's changed, he's devoted to my pleasure and often forgoes his own orgasm when he's satisfied me.
But when it comes to clients, I cannot muster up even the slightest enthusiasm right now. The idea of kissing or getting intimate with strangers is now repulsive to me. I've found my nipples and clit are super sensitive, normally I can educate men on how to be gentle and touch me in ways that I like, but now they get sore really easily and I've given up asking for lighter touching or trying to fake enjoyment with them.
I'm also finding my pretty stable cycle has been messed up and I'm having a light bleed just about every day since my first period on the depo. So if I can psych myself up to take a booking I'm constantly worrying about having a random bleed during, I can't use sponges, so I'm just basically offering bjs.
As I'm neurodiverse I really struggle with motivation at the best of times, but knowing I'm going to be suffering through sessions and putting on a poor performance just leaves me not wanting to work at all. I'm also becoming a cranky bitch with clients making enquiries... I cannot run a business like this
I know I have to just wait this out for now (they can't exactly suck the hormones back out!) but does anyone with similar experience have any advice? Have you found the Depo gets easier to handle after subsequent injections?
Due to other medical conditions most BC pills aren't an option, I tried the implant and it gave me a days long migraine which stopped 20mins after it was removed, and the 3 coils I've had (1 copper, 2 mirena) have all caused sex or my periods to become unbearably painful. Condoms for work are fine but in a relationship cause a complete mental block for me, I need the intimacy with my partner and he's struggling with the idea of a vasectomy, so we're in this weird limbo.
I'd love to hear any thoughts of advice from anyone who's been in a similar situation or who uses less well known methods of BC if they've had positive experiences
Thanks! xx
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Dear friend, I'd like to show you my utmost sympathy!!
Not only I'm quite expert in this matter because it's part of my professional background (my PhD is in Biochemistry), but my personal research for a contraceptive method was particularly cumbersome.
I'm using BC pills now but I did consider the Depo-Provera injections too.
They seemed to me quite practical and easy to use.
But, one of the reason why I discarded the option is exactly because I wasn't prepared to experience what you're going through now!
It's widely known (and somewhat accepted) that «depression, reduced interest in sex and irregular periods and breakthrough bleeding» do happen quite frequently, especially during the first months of the treatment.
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The best I can offer (and I do know the feeling, although I've never used Depo) is to work out how many you can manage on and let yourself stop once you've done them - if I'm burnt out I tell myself to just do two and then I can pack up and do something else even if it's 11am. But if you can't, you can't (and the feeling of dread as yet another nipple tweaker starts bashing away is not one I envy you either).
I know they're old fashioned, but have you tried a diaphragm? It's the only other barrier method I can think of and I don't know how old you are but unless you're super fertile it might be worth a shot at least? Or what about the mini pill - I take Cerazette and it's great, although everybody is different.
It'll wear off - hang in there :)
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have you tried a diaphragm? It's the only other barrier method I can think of and I don't know how old you are but unless you're super fertile it might be worth a shot at least? Or what about the mini pill - I take Cerazette and it's great, although everybody is different.
In my modest opinion, any oral contraceptive at the beginning of the treatment provokes a reduction of the libido, given the fact that induces hormonal changes... I too, Amy, am taking Cerazette, and for at least two months noticed various side-effects...
So for a person like this user who seems very affected by this sort of hormonal medicaments, I agree that diaphragm could represent a very viable option...
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Thank you for the responses and the sympathy!
Workwise, demand is pretty low lately, which is part of the problem. Normally I take advance bookings and close my diary off for the week when I make my target. If I don't have advance bookings I'll go Available Today on AW, get ready first thing in the morning and just wait for the phone to ring. Getting myself into the headspace to go "on call" is just really difficult, but I've been in this game for long enough to know there's nothing to do but put my big girl pants on and actually do it.
As for the birth control issues, I have an appointment next week for a phone consult with family planning. They sent me a link to an info website and the only option I haven't tried or have issues preventing would be the patch.
I can't take oral contraceptives as I have a condition resulting in frequent bouts of the vomiting (sorry for TMI!) A combination of being plus size, with short arms and a high cervix rules out the diaphragm for the same reasons as sponges, I can't reach them when they're in situ lol. When I had my first coil put in the Dr joked about the threads being a trip hazard if they were long enough for me to feel them!
I went through most forms of contraceptives in my early 20s but it was mainly looking for something to control my periods. I figured I'd give them another shot now I'm mid 30s as my new boyfriend produces supersperm, he got me pregnant while on noriday, the same thing happened with 2 of his previous partners too xx
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Hi
Hope you are well.
I used Evra pach and worked well on me . I stopped now as I did my menopause . But it really worked well and i had a great sex life with it .
Best wishes
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Well in that case your partner should be fine to choose from the many safe, convenient and inexpensive contraceptive options readily available to men
in the parallel universe I just made up ::).
Since that's never going to happen, I would hope the patch might be a goer for you! Were you offered a choice of contraceptive injections - there's definitely more than one (although getting a less popular one might mean going private)?
As for the advance bookings, could you maybe run a discount offer for punters who book ahead (like £10 or £20 off if they book the day before)? I know someone who had success with that, and she still got on the day/full price ones too if she wanted them. The getting up and getting ready is the worst part for me if I'm not feeling like it, and I always find it easier if I know somebody is coming at 11 o'clock or whatever because I can plan. Plus I always feel better once the first one is out of the way and I can get on a bit of a roll :)
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Hi
Hope you are well.
I used Evra pach and worked well on me . I stopped now as I did my menopause . But it really worked well and i had a great sex life with it .
Best wishes
Thank you for your insight!
I worry my BMI might be too high for the patch but at this point it's the only option so fingers crossed! xx
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Well in that case your partner should be fine to choose from the many safe, convenient and inexpensive contraceptive options readily available to men in the parallel universe I just made up ::).
Since that's never going to happen, I would hope the patch might be a goer for you! Were you offered a choice of contraceptive injections - there's definitely more than one (although getting a less popular one might mean going private)?
As for the advance bookings, could you maybe run a discount offer for punters who book ahead (like £10 or £20 off if they book the day before)? I know someone who had success with that, and she still got on the day/full price ones too if she wanted them. The getting up and getting ready is the worst part for me if I'm not feeling like it, and I always find it easier if I know somebody is coming at 11 o'clock or whatever because I can plan. Plus I always feel better once the first one is out of the way and I can get on a bit of a roll :)
Haha yeah, we've discussed him getting a vasectomy as he's got all the kids he wants and I don't want any but he's hesitant. He'd trying to work through the issues though
I was only offered one kind of injection when I got it a few months ago though the website the family planning clinic sent me does seem to list more options.
That's my exact mindset having something booked in to make the effort of getting ready worthwhile lol, I might just try the discount thing, thanks for the advice xx
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I was on the injection years ago and I hated it. It made me depressed and put on weight which it did the same to my friends who were on it. Have you considered the copper coil? It stays in for 10 years but can be taken out anytime and it does not contain any hormones so you will still have your periods as normal. I had it for 10 years.
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I was on the injection years ago and I hated it. It made me depressed and put on weight which it did the same to my friends who were on it. Have you considered the copper coil? It stays in for 10 years but can be taken out anytime and it does not contain any hormones so you will still have your periods as normal. I had it for 10 years.
Yep, that definitely mirrors my experience with the injection!
I've had the copper coil but it was awful getting put in (had to pull over while driving home to vomit) and made sex painful, my periods also got heavier for the 6 months I could stand it. I also had 2 hormonal coils that made me bleed constantly and were also uncomfortable during sex... one actually wandered off and had to be removed before it perforated anything vital. So I'm very much put off IUDs though I know many, many people swear by them xx
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Part of me is astonished that Depo-Provera is still available in the UK, never mind offered, but the history of contraception does show that - outside not ending up pregnant - women's health is not always near the top of the list of concerns.
Yes, it's long-lasting and effective in terms of preventing pregnancy, but the implant lasts longer, is the most effective form of contraception there is, and as you've seen, if there are any issues you can take it out and be back to normal very quickly.
If you have a problem, as here, with DP there's effectively nothing you can do apart from wait months for the levels in you to drop off.
If you can't tolerate the implant, I'm doubly astonished anyone suggested DP and I wonder if any hormone-based method is for you.
While you're suffering, is changing the services you offer an option?
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Part of me is astonished that Depo-Provera is still available in the UK, never mind offered, but the history of contraception does show that - outside not ending up pregnant - women's health is not always near the top of the list of concerns.
Very dear Amy,
while here I'm just beginning to show my presence, trying to be pussy-footed, I cannot avoid to intervene now, since you just touched a very raw nerve of mine...
To put it in context, I cannot define myself a «Medical Practitioner», because I'm professionaly a «Biochemist», but -believe me- if I start criticizing the approach of the «Allopathic Medicine» towards most of the so-called diseases, I have enough reliable ammunitions!
In the case of DP and/or any other Contraceptive product, always remember that the bottom-line of BigPharma is much more important than our health, OK?
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I'm not Amy, but I have views about the effectiveness of much 'alternative medicine' / 'woo'..
.. and know that it's off-topic here.
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I'm not Amy, but I have views about the effectiveness of much 'alternative medicine' / 'woo'..
.. and know that it's off-topic here.
Dear "xw5", I apologise!
Thanks for reminding me what's "off-topic" and what's not... I personally was convinced that discussing therapeutic issues was the subject of this thread!
Anyway I do respect your views as much as anybody's, but my point wasn't much in favour of the so-called "Alternative Medicine", I only warned about the mechanisms which move the pharmaceutical industry...
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Hello, I'm sorry to hear you're struggling so much. I've been on depo twice and had a horrible experience when I went on it last summer. My periods had never been regular but the first time I went on it took that to a whole new level, so I had over a year without any then had some random ones. I didn't want this to interfere with work since I had no idea when or if I'd bleed, so I made the awful decision to go back on the thing that had messed up my cycle in the hopes of stopping my periods. The second time round, I ended up spotting for over a month at a time, so it actually made things worse. Luckily, I was able to use menstrual sponges so didn't have to change my services, but both my mental and physical health seemed to go downhill as soon as I got the injection last year. I am neurodivergent too and already have mental health issues, but my mental health worsened and I had various unexplained physical symptoms in the months the injection was in my system and afterwards on withdrawal (I didn't get it done again after the three months). I was desperate for the three months to be over which was miserable when there was nothing I could do but wait. Other than the injection, the only birth control I have used has been the combined pill, so I can't offer any advice on alternative contraception unfortunately.
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I'm on the depo shot. I've been on it for 2 years next month and a combination of that and antidepressants mean I have no desire for sex at all, but I don't struggle once a client is fave to fave with me. I guess it's kind of like putting on a character and acting. I don't see it as having sex, I see it as making money.
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Sorry to hear you are struggling, I've e never been on the pill but I do take estrogen gel and it's not a huge dose so I still get my randy week once a month. But too high estrogen just shuts down the ovaries and testosterone production will be lower and that's not good for the sex drive. Maybe try maca or shatvari but look them up first for yourself, Maca really drives up my sex drive. Also a study on Saffron extract found it really helped women on anti-depressants to get sex drive back. I know that when my estrogen and testosterone goes down 4th week I don't want to be around anyone and men annoy me so I don't work but take time for myself. It's difficult because hormones do dictate our sex drive massively, For me anyway I'm very sensitive to progesterone and suffer with very bad pmt without estrogen gel Most contraceptives have high doses of progesterone and that hormone makes me very anti social and a bit rageful so putting up with anyone else's demands are super difficult for a week of my monthly cycle. I can't do Escorting just for the money I need to enjoy the sex and interaction and be tolerant.
Could you be very sensitive to progesterone and talk to your GP, Unfortunately they are often not well trained in hormones. A lower progesterone dose contraceptive might be best. Progesterone kills my sex drive and mood.
Hope you get yourself levelled out with your hormones and sex drive back.
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Yep I tried depo years ago and it completely depressed me and made all sex even kissing my then boyfriend completely repulsive. I couldn't even watch sex on TV programmes! I'm usually a very horny person!!
You are definitely very sensitive to progesterone and i think the best thing you can do is not have another one and you will gradually feel better after a few months. I managed with just condoms as hormones do not agree with my brain.
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Thanks for all the input, advice and sympathy, I really appreciate it!
I had a chat with the family planning clinic and after running through everything I've tried in the past and the issues I've faced their response was to try the copper coil again (a no go because of the constant bleeding and pain during sex) or double dose the progesterone only pill and use condoms with everyone including my partner (if I wanted to use condoms with my partner I wouldn't be messing with my hormones)
So having shot down both of those suggestions it looks like I've got to go back to my GP and ask for the umpteenth time to have a discussion about sterilization or reply on just counting the days of my cycling and timing it right... there's demand for pregnant escorts, right? (joking!) xx
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Yep, that definitely mirrors my experience with the injection!
I've had the copper coil but it was awful getting put in (had to pull over while driving home to vomit) and made sex painful, my periods also got heavier for the 6 months I could stand it. I also had 2 hormonal coils that made me bleed constantly and were also uncomfortable during sex... one actually wandered off and had to be removed before it perforated anything vital. So I'm very much put off IUDs though I know many, many people swear by them xx
I had the same problems when i had the coil put in, my friend advised me to stick with it because it takes a while to settle in the body. It took around a year for me to settle and after that I couldn't feel it or even knew I had it, but yeah at first it made sex uncomfortable and I would get the odd sharp pain when standing up or sitting down.
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a discussion about sterilization or reply on just counting the days of my cycling and timing it right... there's demand for pregnant escorts, right? (joking!) xx
I understand that you're joking, but, seriously, please try and consider every possible option with utmost wisdom!
Above all, don't rely on counting the days of your cycle, because a large number of factors can make it unpredictable, believe me!
And, if you allow me, stop believing in Docs, most of 'em are there to get rich on our health issues, not to make us comfortable and safe!
Instead of following their "prescription" I suggest to listen to your body who perfectly knows what needs!
Take care, dear!
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Doctors in NHS family planning clinics aren't 'getting rich', Cuddly.
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Doctors in NHS family planning clinics aren't 'getting rich', Cuddly.
Amy, thanks for reminding me of that! Thanks God! But, by personal experience I'd affirm that the majority of the medical practitioners, at least in the countries where I resided, have chosen their profession certainly not out of a humanitarian impulse..
The noticeable exceptions shouldn't take this remark of mine as an offense, quite the contrary...