Hi everybody, happy new year!

I was just wondering what you all think is the best attitude to have when the fact that you used to be an escort becomes common knowledge in your regular job?

I work in an workplace of around 30 people of both sexes and all ages. I realised today that 1 person has found out about my past through the grapevine but it won't be long before word spreads because 1 person tells 1 person who tells another, so there's no question of it not coming out.

It's only a part-time job to pay the bills while I'm going through university, that's my full time thing. I retired from escorting around 3 years ago and I really thought it wouldn't be such hot gossip and that people would have more exciting things to talk about by now, but apparently not (I live in a small town), and I was just starting to feel comfortable with being out in public again. I know I should never have done escorting if I was ashamed of doing it in the first place (hindsight is a wonderful thing) but I did and think this is just going to be another setback I'll have to overcome. I'm getting a bit older now though, and my 'bouncebackability' is diminishing.

So the options I can think of are:

1. Quit the job
2. Deny all knowledge (if anyone says anything)
3. Be strong, admit my past if anyone questions it & ask what the big deal is with my head held high

It's a pretty "primitive" working environment with a definite pack mentality, I don't think there is anyone that works there that is open-minded enough to accept it.

What really annoys me is that people are happy to watch porn, buy adult magazines, look at page 3 girls, or have casual sex at the weekend, yet when it comes to escorting, suddenly people can't understand what kind of women would do such a thing. Where do they think the glamour models and the girls they sleep with come from? It's not just a bunch of molecules... they are actually REAL people, and so are escorts. Why do the majority of the ignorant population equate escorts with "sluts" and "prostitutes". What's your response when you're branded any of these names?

Aaaargh. People are hypocrites, taking the moral high ground when they're just as bad, if not, worse.

Any advice or opinions much appreciated!

Thank you x

When i happened to me, i really went with option 3 with a touch of "whats it to do with you anyway arrogance" which tended to mean people thought i was a miserable bitch and dropped the subject,

quiting your job, I wouldnt unless things get too difficult, as Joey says a small environment like that its gossip heaven till the next scandal comes along

deny everything, that could be an option depending on how the person found out, could you turn it around to somebody starting a malicous campaign against you?

Just make sure your working phone has a different number than your normal mobile phone in case someone rings just to check.

The OP said she used to escort 3 years ago, why would she still have her working phone?

This is a difficult one, because nobody really knows what they're going to do until they're in that situation. Me personally, I would brazen it out and deny everything but in the meantime start looking for another job. Once something like that gets out, even if you do deny it and nobody can back up their accusations, it's still out there, and you'd be looked at differently from then on. Especially in an environment with such a small town attitude. It could be an awkward atmosphere to say the least.

Honestly, I would probably quit. but thats just me and I would rather walk away than feel like everyone was talking about me. If I had the guts I would stay and just deny the whole thing, and make a joke out of it like pandora said. I think to most people, the ignorant ones anyway, you wouldnt fit their stereotypical image of an escort, so they might not even believe it to begin with. Ive had numerous conversations with my housemates about escorts and their view of it is so wrong, I know they woudnt believe me if I told them I was an escort!
Haha, something that made me laugh the other day was a story my friend told me about his friend who saw an escort in Amsterdam, apparently he paid for the hour but...ahem...finished in 5 minutes, and heres the 'unbeliveable' part...sat around talking to her for the rest of the time! My friend was so shocked about this part and I had to pretend I was too, so it goes to show that for the most part people have no idea about what goes on and you might find people find it hard to believe you were ever an escort!
xx

I agree with the above, i would deny it and act shocked and inocent.  Say you watched the Billie piper thing and if it was really as good as she made it look you might have a go once your degree is finished but until then you'll stick with your ?'s per hour and struggle through.

If you do choose to deny and stick it out just try and put your self in the shoes of someone who really never has been an escort and has those rumors going on.  As soon as the rumor gets to you, if it does look like its going to cause trouble and people are beliving it you might want to look in to making an appointment with your HR department or representative.  Every company, no matter how small or large has procedures in place for discrimination and bullying and they all have the ability to take the rumor mongers aside and put them in their place.  I know this because i have at times worked in HR departments. I dont know exactly what would be done but i do know that everyone in the UK has the right to work in any environment without feeling harrassed or bullied.  so if you like your job or if its a valuable job for experiance in what you want to do when you graduate or whatever, stick it out and deny deny deny!  You have rights whether you deny or admit so keep strong whichever way you go.

You did what you did, there is no going back and no need for regrets.  We all make mistakes in life and although escorting is right for some, its not for others.  No one has a right to judge but we are all human and at times we all do it.  chin up, walk tall and you might be suprised at how quickly the gossip passes.  Good luck.

xx

Please don't quit your job until you know you have another one.
Not in this current climate.

she said it...even when the economy is booming, still dont. But I understand, its easier said then done. You probably spend 8 hours a day dealing with these people. If something gets out, its not good. In fact, let me tell you something. When I was teenager I worked in a place and a rumor came out that I was gay. And although I never dealt with any guys in the town I lived in, nor was on any personal's websites. (Nor was I an escort of course!) I went through hell. It was an immature, minimum wage job and every single day I went through hell dealing with those idiots. EVentually I took it up with the manager and it was bought up in a meeting. Did it help? Nope. It  did a little, but it still went around when the manager wasnt present. I didnt quit but evenutually found another job which had nothing to do with the rumor.

I never had any pictures of me sucking cock on my website, or in any other uncompromising positions, thank god. So yes, I would brazen it out.

thats the ultimate blow right there! (no pun intended!) I've seen some people do it, but I have no idea why anyone would want to do that.

I have to be honest and say that I haven't got a clue what I would do, I would like to think that I would brazen it out, but have learnt that until you are in that situation you can never really tell what you will do.
For instance I always said I would never stay in an unhappy marriage and I would be out of it like a shot - in reality it took me 5 years to finally kick him out.

I am really sorry for your situation, at the end of the day all I can recommend is to try and sit back, relax a bit and listen to what your inner voice tells you - listen to advice, but do what you feel is right for you.

I'll be thinking of you and i think I can speak for everyone here - we are all here for you if you need us.

My response to a true rumor would be, "yea and? Why you looking in the 1st place?  You look, you buy. Now stay the hell off my site because you probably cant afford it any how."

Pmsl...not a very grown-up response.