Ok, but my point is, thats your attitude NOW.  Attitudes change and in 3,5 10 or 15years you might be in a job, relationship community etc where you dont feel its as easy to dissregard it so easily or you might realise that actually the stigma attatched to having 'done porn' isnt so easy to shake off.

Again i think this is an example of how its different for you as a gay man, I think its easier for you to brush it off as something you did when you were young and poor and maybe its even a bit of an american thing where you can say you did a porno and people accept it.  I dont think its 'very British' to turn to the sex industry for any reason or really in any form (except for glamour modeling which i totally slot in to the sex industry whether they like it or not, jodie, jordan and any z list celeb that turns up in nuts etc) and I think it would be much harder than that for a woman to do.  I know there are loads of wg's who are part of a couple but i bet there are a few out there who could also say that when the truth came out men have left them, the ones who just couldnt get their heads around it.  And actually i could understand that, I really can see why it would be so difficult for some people to accept.

And it depends on the industry you work in to.  There are some industries where that kind of truth could just be brushed aside but it might be more difficult if you wanted to be taken more seriously in other fields.  Having said that, i expect it would also be an advantage in some others.  I'm pretty sure if you were clever enough you could turn it around and eventually gain others respect for having been female and chosen this profession, it would just be a matter of finding the balls to do it, proving that you were a survivor.  Although that might mean having to pander to the notion that we are all here because we are desperate and have no where else to turn but im sure it could be done without giving that impression if you really tried.  Its a shame that once ladies retire they so often fall of the escorting radar, it would be interesting to hear some 'after i was an escort' stories, good and bad.  I promise if i ever get outed and i drop off the radar i will try and come back at some point after the storm has calmed and share it with you all... i just might use a different name lol

sorry, im rambling on a bit here but I'd not given much thought to the 'after life' till this post and its just made me think a bit is all.  I'd sort of assumed i would kind of brush it off but probably faced with it it woud be a much more daunting task than i expect.  Probably best not to give it so much thought at 7am either!!!  save it for later in the day lol

So sorry to hear about this. Small minded office pack mentality is like being back at school sometimes, so stupid.

You've received loads of good advice so far, but my little two cents for what it's worth- I would say that your gut feelings and instinct can probably gauge the reactions people will have, so listen to them before you decide how to play it. But absolutely do not be bullied out of the workplace by someone with such a boring life they are reduced to stirring up other peoples' for entertainment.

xxx

Being outed is horrible. Sadly, it happens to escorts more than we'd like. The tabloids like to do it and bitter/small minded/mean people like to do it.

As someone else said, some people see it as entertainment and revel in being part of a small minded pack mentality. Those sort of people cant be reasoned with, else they would not have outed you in the first place.

Denial is probably the best approach but are you a good liar who can carry it through no matter what?

You sound like you have thought it through and have a healthy attitude about it.  I always think its better to take things calm and rationalise rather than blow things in to a massive drama and get in to more of a mess than you need to.  I really feel for you and altough its probably good that you have a few days to take a step back and breathe, but its still a while a way so dont get yourself in knots between now and then.  Sound off round here if you need to or PM one of us, any of us, but dont panic.  it will all work out in the end, things always do.

xx

actually i like joey's response the best!! haha....i have been thinking about this scenario quite a bit as sometimes its foolhardy to think: this will never happen to me therefore i dont have to think about how i am going to react....i have thought about it recently cuz i only wanted to do escorting for a finite period...think if it gets into more than 3 years its really hard to leave the biz...this is my 3rd year...i know that of all the thousands who have seen my pics, its just a universal law that its likely i shall be recognised by someone in a non-escort environment. i dont think many people who know me would be terribly surprised as all i talk about is sex and who i'm having sex with!! (tho it is great gossip and i am ashamed to say if shoe were on other foot and somebody told me: hey guess what did you know that so and so is an escort? i would be like: really! no way! wow...and get stuck in talking to people about it)...it is too bad the stigma still exists and i do worry about how i will (or should i?) tell my prospective boyfriend/husband/etc about it....i would probably do something typically me if the rumour got spread to the whole office...i would stand on a desk (or just stand on the floor) and say: i have an announcement! it has recently been suggested that in the past i have escorted.  The rumour is true.  If you are looking for me to be ashamed and regretful i am not.  The only thing i regret is that you all may now treat me badly and make my life miserable.  I hope that you will all treat this topic and me with a minimum of negativity and we can continue in our worklife as per usual.  it will be hot topics for awhile as said before and then people will remember who you are again and it will be biz as usual....(i think)

well my previous job was 'protected' somewhat by loads of rules and regulations about fairness and equality etc so...but i'm not there anymore!! haha...yes managers can sack you for any old reason and then you can take them to a fucking tribunal for unfair dismissal and make their lives hell...then walk away with your head held high....know what i worry about? all those freakin pics i have had taken with various photographers...they never get rid of their photos they keep them forever and when they die someone gets all those pics and can do what they like with them! even if you successfully bow out of the biz and are careful about easing away from excessive graphic detail, your naked bod is stored on several photographers hard drive....(just another thing to worry about!)

I know its not the same as nude photos but I used to work in a restaurant and the owner had a web-designer to do the website and maintain it, and he died. It turned out he had put passwords on all the different folders and files etc. and the 10 or so small businesses he worked for couldn't access their own sites! It was a total nightmare for my boss as he had no idea what any of the passwords were and neither did the guys wife! Obviously its upto the individual web-designer or photographer how well they protect their clients files, but in that case the files were very well protected!
x

Quote from: JoeyR on 12 January 2009, 05:13:51 am

My response to a true rumor would be, "yea and? Why you looking in the 1st place?  You look, you buy. Now stay the hell off my site because you probably cant afford it any how."

Pmsl...not a very grown-up response.

Lol yea, but imagine the look on their face, hehe.