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Author Topic: Being too paranoid?  (Read 2888 times)

K47

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Being too paranoid?
« on: 29 February 2016, 04:01:17 pm »
How do you know if youre really getting a 'bad vibe' from someone or if it's paranoia? I feel like maybe I'm turning down guys that might be ok. It's just so hard to tell sometimes.. it's making me stressed. I don't know if I need to chill out a bit.

I had a call earlier from a spanish guy and I do have on my profile that I only see british born clients but I said ok.. but now Im worrying about it. It's not racism, I do see clients that arent white.. I think its mainly because I find it harder to 'read' someone who doesnt have a british accent, if that makes sense?

Jezabel

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Re: Being too paranoid?
« Reply #1 on: 29 February 2016, 04:05:20 pm »
For me what matters is that their English is good enough for us both to understand each other.  That aside I treat them as any other client ie.  if I get a bad vibe or they are disrespectful etc. then I won't see them.

xw5

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Re: Being too paranoid?
« Reply #2 on: 29 February 2016, 04:57:01 pm »
Ultimately, you do what you're comfortable with, but yes, to most people being able to understand someone's speech is more important than where they're 'from'.

You'd probably have more problems with understanding someone with an accent from some parts of the UK than many mainland Europeans...

'The Ian formerly known as SW5'. What they said: "Indispensable", "You are our best resource", and (hours later!) "I'm afraid that you're being made redundant..."

BibiofLeeds

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Re: Being too paranoid?
« Reply #3 on: 29 February 2016, 05:50:58 pm »
Never really had a problem with non English people as long as we can understand each other and they are polite and have read my profile.I've seen French,German,Swiss,Italian,Portugeuse,Finnish,Swedish,Norwegian
Polish,Latvian etc etc.I get more problems with so called English people acting like knobheads when ringing/texting so I really would not worry about where he was born!

Mirror

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Re: Being too paranoid?
« Reply #4 on: 29 February 2016, 06:28:50 pm »
Never really had a problem with non English people as long as we can understand each other and they are polite and have read my profile.I've seen French,German,Swiss,Italian,Portugeuse,Finnish,Swedish,Norwegian
Polish,Latvian etc etc.I get more problems with so called English people acting like knobheads when ringing/texting so I really would not worry about where he was born!

This is also my experience, I have plenty of British born enquirers whom I just cannot understand. 

K47

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Re: Being too paranoid?
« Reply #5 on: 29 February 2016, 08:52:17 pm »
ok thanks, I think I will relax a bit and start seeing non british clients

Nia Hope

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Re: Being too paranoid?
« Reply #6 on: 29 February 2016, 09:50:21 pm »
ok thanks, I think I will relax a bit and start seeing non british clients
It's best to only see any client you feel 100% ok about! it's ok to say no it's your choice not what I or other girls feel comfortable with because we are all different x
If something is not perceived it doesn't exist.

BibiofLeeds

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Re: Being too paranoid?
« Reply #7 on: 29 February 2016, 10:33:06 pm »
ok thanks, I think I will relax a bit and start seeing non british clients
You don't have to do anything that you don't want to do but I just think if they can speak excellent English and come across as ok when being screened I don't see a problem.

Nova

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Re: Being too paranoid?
« Reply #8 on: 01 March 2016, 11:57:22 am »
I know what you mean about paranoia. Occasionally, late on in the booking process, right before the meet, I get that tingly, bad vibe feeling about the odd one and they have always turned out to be either fine or at worst, a bit irritating. The 2 guys who did give me problems in person were both guys who sailed through the booking process with no red flags at all.
I think it's just your brain's way of keeping you on your toes and not becoming complacent about the safety aspect of the job.

zoe

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Re: Being too paranoid?
« Reply #9 on: 01 March 2016, 12:21:51 pm »
If it don`t feel right, don`t do booking. X

Kay

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Re: Being too paranoid?
« Reply #10 on: 01 March 2016, 03:47:43 pm »
Sometimes it's so subtle...

Yesterday I got a call from an Italian, so I immediately gave him a bit of leeway on the language front. The initial booking arrangement was fine, but as he set off from home he rang me again, and started asking what we would do etc. I began to get a slight tingle in my internal dodgy client detector, especially when he mentioned anal, which I'd told him initially I don't do.

Anyway, he turned up, and was OK, though a terrible kisser and unpleasant breath. At the appropriate time, I asked if I should get a condom, and he said no, not yet. Then all of a sudden he climbed on top of me and tried to start having sex! I pushed him off and got the whole, I'm clean, I don't like condoms spiel.

The weird thing was not so much that he tried it, but his attitude when I told him off. It seemed completely bizarre to him that I should insist on using a condom! Shame is that otherwise he was OK, in a quirky sort of way.
"There is no sin except stupidity" - Oscar Wilde

TrashAzn

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Re: Being too paranoid?
« Reply #11 on: 01 March 2016, 04:17:01 pm »
To be honest I've had far more issues with British guys than non British ones but in the end you have to trust your gut feeling about a booking because that's the last line of defence you have for avoiding a bad client. It's your money in the end so you have a choice to take business or not sometimes the reason for turning it down may be kind of abstract but it's your call 100%.

Accents I'm mostly fine with as long as they speak a good level of English I've refused clients who type or speak in broken English. There may sometimes with cultural issues but you need to let them know up front how things will be and you can usually at least get a vibe for how they'll respond to a female taking charge of a situation when they come from a culture where women generally aren't so direct and strong willed. Sometimes it works out the opposite where they like a change a lot of Chinese and Japanese businessmen seem to like Western women because they are a lot more likely to take control in bed where women in their own countries culturally are more timid and submissive.

Nova

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Re: Being too paranoid?
« Reply #12 on: 01 March 2016, 05:58:57 pm »
If it don`t feel right, don`t do booking. X

This is tricky though, because there are times when I'm feeling a bit paranoid and if I cancelled every booking that didn't feel right, I would never work again!
I think sometimes you have to be aware that you may be being overly sensitive and turning away perfectly good clients.
It's about being sensible and working out if it's something they have actually done (or not done) or whether it's just yourself looking for reasons to cancel.