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Author Topic: BBW struggles  (Read 1014 times)

Nyah_X69

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BBW struggles
« on: 19 May 2022, 03:30:35 am »
I have been struggling with work for a while. The main issues are not being sure what areas to choose. London is a struggle in general for me as I grew up there and on 2 occasions had an ex and an ex employer come through my door. So I have had no option but to try other cities but havent had much consistent luck and its frustrating and draining. I feel as if people are not willing to pay as much to see me (30mins, £80 and 1h, £130- incall) compared to friends I work with who are smaller in size and ... well... whiter... or more niche , and this is affecting my self esteem which ultimately kills my motivation to work. There have been times where i've felt as if i need to lower my prices below what i think is reasonable or offer more services than i am comfortable with to get consistent bookings. I now even upload a picture which shows some of my face, not the entirety of it, but enough to make me nervous to keep the calls coming in. I feel like im missing something.

I know its my insecurity affecting my way of thinking but the not so rational side of me starts to think that its firstly because of my size (18-20), (I was a 12-14 about 2 years ago) and secondly because I am black and lastly because of my services which are gfe including kissing and owo but no anal and no cim or rough sex. In an ideal world i wouldnt even offer owo as i dont enjoy it and on reading other posts on the forum, many ladies here had stated that choosing not to offer owo didnt affect their business but in my case I really feel that at times it has had a detrimental effect. In regards to my size I have had men ask me if i have had children and I have not. This is probably in reference to my belly. I would say I am faily pretty and my main assest are my butt and by breasts.
I am incredibly frustrated and as i intend for this to be my last few months in this life im left struggling on where to go, what to charge and how to keep myself motivated. I feel as if ive given so much of myself and will leave this will nothing to show for it. I know its a tough time generally and things are quite slow for a lot of us right now but its been the case for a while for me.

I guess my question is do any of you have advise on how to fix this situation. Am i perhaps working in the wrong areas (Previously London, now Manchester, Luton, occasionally Leicester and Birmingham (the worst of them all). I am anxious to risk going to smaller towns with smaller and less diverse populations and i am unsure if the clientele would be interested in me.

I generally offer a simple GFE and dont charge extras but there is there stereotype of the big black girl being aggressive and assertive and offering humiliation services and being dominant and as i have a somewhat soft personality that isn't good for me and its often a struggle.

*Please note that I generally am an over-thinker with anxiety and depression so I know this might be playing a part.

I have often heard that there is a market for everybody in this industry but i am starting to think there isnt one for me. Any advice would be appreciated. All Pm's welcome.

Luvmylips

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Re: BBW struggles
« Reply #1 on: 19 May 2022, 07:04:30 am »

First of all, hugs.

Second of all, take a deep breath, close your eyes and just calm your thoughts for one minute.

There is absolutely work for you in this market, whether you are in London or Liverpool.

I understand that as London is your birthplace you feel some trepidation on working here, so my advice to you would be to market yourself to the men who want what you are and what you offer - you are a lovely curvy gentle service provider with gorgeous melanated skin.   Play on those attributes.

Get a website, get it up to scratch and promote the hell out of it - especially to foreign clients in different countries.
The overseas travelling men who would want a booking with you need to find you so promote promote promote.

Lastly, do not give up - your prices are reasonable.  This is a tough job for anyone but you can make a go out of it with a super confident and positive attitude.   Good luck to you and all the best.

Koko

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Re: BBW struggles
« Reply #2 on: 19 May 2022, 09:42:28 am »
Hi dear,
Sending you hugs and love from another bbw.
There is a market for everyone, you are just overthinking it.
You are fine just need to try few places to know where u are most valuable.
At the moment it's a roller coaster as everyone is feeling the pinch with increase in bills  etc.
I'm sure it will  get better soon so it's not about you at all.
You might need to take new pics or revise your profile to attract the right clients.
If you dont mind you can contact me for support, my aw name is Ebonykoko.



Vintage Miss

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Re: BBW struggles
« Reply #3 on: 19 May 2022, 10:09:12 am »


I guess my question is do any of you have advise on how to fix this situation. Am i perhaps working in the wrong areas (Previously London, now Manchester, Luton, occasionally Leicester and Birmingham (the worst of them all). I am anxious to risk going to smaller towns with smaller and less diverse populations and i am unsure if the clientele would be interested in me.


I find smaller towns tend to be busier more reliably than bigger ones (especially if they are quite well-to-do places) because just in general there are fewer escorts passing through. Perhaps being a BME woman would even add to your popularity in these contexts? If there aren't many other black escorts in the area? I also agree that advertising is the key always. Trying putting search terms relevant to you that clients may search for 'curvy escort London' 'bbw black escort Manchester', whatever, and see what sites come up and advertise on them.

Especially as a gentle GFE escort I think a website (do you have one already?) where you can really show your personality would help. Men who like women to be more of a sexual companion/paid girlfriend than a cookie cutter porn fantasy like to see websites, blogs, really selling what makes you human and unique  etc

Nadya

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Re: BBW struggles
« Reply #4 on: 19 May 2022, 10:41:34 am »
Hi Nyah,

I will pm you to fill in some details but as another black BBW, older and bigger than you, let me say, I get by, you are definitely over thinking and generally offer GFE (though I do some kink too) sometimes though it is hard to market as a bigger woman but you need to understand that those who want to see you will love your body, that is why they have chosen you and unlike smaller women, they don't pounce on every little imperfection because they are not seeking a "perfect body" they are seeking YOUR body.  That means we miss out on a great deal of judgemental pricks that other women deal with, which if you knew how impatient I am with these men, you will know is a massive bonus.

As for London, it's a big place, I have worked very close to home and never had a neighbour through my room and only had one guy I went for coffee with once so, it's doable to be anonymous here, you just need to the right place.  Ok?  You'll be fine, honest. x

Nyah_X69

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Re: BBW struggles
« Reply #5 on: 19 May 2022, 11:32:39 am »
Thank you all for encouragement. I realise i am overthinking things. I am just starting to feel like as time has gone by I simply dont have anything to show for doing this. I will take some time to do some research about what to do going forward. Thank you for taking the time to read my post.

Nyah_X69

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Re: BBW struggles
« Reply #6 on: 19 May 2022, 11:36:07 am »
I find smaller towns tend to be busier more reliably than bigger ones (especially if they are quite well-to-do places) because just in general there are fewer escorts passing through. Perhaps being a BME woman would even add to your popularity in these contexts? If there aren't many other black escorts in the area? I also agree that advertising is the key always. Trying putting search terms relevant to you that clients may search for 'curvy escort London' 'bbw black escort Manchester', whatever, and see what sites come up and advertise on them.

Especially as a gentle GFE escort I think a website (do you have one already?) where you can really show your personality would help. Men who like women to be more of a sexual companion/paid girlfriend than a cookie cutter porn fantasy like to see websites, blogs, really selling what makes you human and unique  etc

I've noticed a few of the responces have mentioned a website. I had never really considered this. I had noticed everyone I had worked with got by nd did reasonably well with just AW and Viva. I will take the time to look into this.

PinkR2021

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Re: BBW struggles
« Reply #7 on: 19 May 2022, 06:31:18 pm »
I’m advertising myself as BBW (size16). I’m also a natural redhead. I also offer a softer GFE.I use those three things as my niche. I also work limited hours so focus on self employed/ guys with flexible working/retired.
I get being a unconfident. At first, I was trying to compete with those offering PSE and smaller than me. But now I’ve really started to play to my “strengths”, I’m still amazed how many compliments I get( and they normally occur on the days I feel I look rubbish  :D).You are someone’s ideal.

I’d work out who your ideal client is. What is his job ? What sort of girl is he looking for? How would an ideal meeting go? What’s his age? How long does he want to book?

I was offering half an hours at first and I didn’t like them. So after a few months I did the above excerise and changed how I worked. I now do 1hour minimum, prefer older clients and am happy to see less guys but by in large enjoy seeing the ones I do.  I model myself as a “girl next door girlfriend”. I find I also get less silly requests now too!It has to work for you too.

I’d say a website is a good idea. You can get a good one for about £100. Only needs a few pages but you can really sell your personality and niche. Something that has helped me is also thinking like a client. So my wording is less what I am/do but more what I can do for you. You are selling a service. The basic rule of adverts is trying to convince someone you can fix their problem. How could you “fix” a clients problem ? If they want the softer girlfriend type then I’d focus on lots of cuddling/kissing/massage to fully relax them.


As for London- it’s a big place. I’ve lived in a few parts(east and then south) and never bumped into anyone I knew. Get an Incall place on the outskirts if you live in the Center. Or the Home Counties.

Sorry if this is a jumble- trying to type with a toddler running around but you are welcome to message me if you have any questions. I’m not an expert but happy to help!

Luvmylips

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Re: BBW struggles
« Reply #8 on: 21 May 2022, 08:22:58 am »
I've noticed a few of the responces have mentioned a website. I had never really considered this. I had noticed everyone I had worked with got by nd did reasonably well with just AW and Viva. I will take the time to look into this.

A website is crucial if you want to open up your market and earning potential.  There are literally millions of men out there who never use Adultwork or VIVAstreet.  There is a huge sticky at the top of this site giving advice on where to advertise.  Peruse it carefully and take note of the ones that apply to BBW workers. 

London is a great place for money making and you can get clients from all over the world who travel to London for some reason or the other who enjoy melanated BBWs.   As you are conscious of working in London because you are a London born lady  here's a piece of advice - if you enjoy melanated men from the African continent, there are many moneyed, deep pocket African dignatories flying into London this summer for the jubilee festivities - tap this market. Get your website up and running and make your coins! Good luck to you. 
« Last Edit: 21 May 2022, 08:28:04 am by Luvmylips »

Red_rosie

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Re: BBW struggles
« Reply #9 on: 21 May 2022, 11:16:08 pm »
Hi Nyah! Firstly, you did the right thing by posting on here, I echo what everyone else is saying, I used to have a BBW roommate who did amazingly well and you can too! A lot of her clients did come through her website, if want some advice on setting one up then please just send me a PM and I can help you out! Don’t worry though, you are going to be fine xx

Nyah_X69

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Re: BBW struggles
« Reply #10 on: 22 May 2022, 08:54:31 pm »
Hi Nyah! Firstly, you did the right thing by posting on here, I echo what everyone else is saying, I used to have a BBW roommate who did amazingly well and you can too! A lot of her clients did come through her website, if want some advice on setting one up then please just send me a PM and I can help you out! Don’t worry though, you are going to be fine xx

Thank you I think a website is a good idea as it has been brought up here a lot. I will PM you. Thank you all again for your responces.