SAAFE forum
General Category => Questions and Answers => Topic started by: jellib33 on 08 June 2019, 09:21:45 am
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Hello,
So today, I had an incident with a client. He seemed really nice and offered to bring wine for our one hour session. I never seem to have a problem when people bring wine in fact most of the time it makes it more fun. This time, the client came over, he seemed ok, but as we both drank the bottle of wine he seemed kind of spacey (there was nothing wrong with him as a person, he was just one of those contruction/landscaping type owner kind of guy), and since I was a little drunk I was a bit confused if he wanted me to take charge or him? He also was one of those guys who smokes frequently so maintaining an erection was kind of difficult (but at the same time he was really hard to communicate with or feel out)... Anyways, it seemed all fine, I should mention I was on my period but I was wearing a sponge. Anyways, I don't think I leaked or anything and when I was bent over in doggy style I think he sneakishly pulled out the condom and he came inside me. Luckily, I am on the second day of my period. Of course, I also immediately took plan B after he left. But since I was drunk and I've had a lot of recent trauma with offering bareback (unsafe) and this even ruined a chance with someone I was seeing, I freaked out. I kicked him out, of course I blocked his number.
I searched his number though, and what shows up is his real construction company that he owns including his name, website... He's been a long member on the forum where I live and sometimes he writes reviews. I just have to ask, do any of you know what in the right mind makes a guy think that it is okay to do this? I just don't understand. Why do some guys seek such nasty services, why would they even dare putting THEMSELVES at risk, yet, I've had so many clients who want it or push it, or recently they sneak it. I just don't get it? Does anyone know? Is it supposed to be a sign of disrespect or intimacy? Why would you do that with someone you don't know especially a prostitute like no offense to us of course but just to be cliche or stereotypical about it?
I was just wondering, how do you handle these situations with clients, do you direct them constantly during the whole session, do you feel it out, do you push away, how do you deal with people like that?
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Do you mean you have offered bareback in the past?
I think it's wise to avoid mixing alcohol with bookings.
I haven't had the same situation happen in well over 10 years of being paid for sex, I had heard stories of men fiddling. The only times I've experienced this has been the 'pull the condom tight over the head fiddle' which can then result in condoms splitting.
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First of all him bringing the wine was a sign he wanted you tipsey/ drunk etc which basically happened.
They do not care about safety they are turned on and the idea of bareback gets them off. What he did was bareback rape if it was me i would think about reporting hin or at least do a warning on here and NUM.
All you can do is do not get drunk on bookings again as it can make you very vulnerable and you will not be alert enough and always guide them in yourself with uour hand and keep checking the condom is still on.
This industry is full of arseholes unfortunately but do not beat yourself up about what happened. What he did was a form of rape and illegal he definately needs a warning or reporting.
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I can only agree with EG advice to always always keep checking the condom is where it should be and that includes during doggy very easily. I never do doggy without keeping my hand underneath which they think is either me playing with myself (and of course getting SO turned on) or giving their balls a stroke or feel so they are more than happy. It means I can constantly check said condom is covering him. So easy.
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I'm not denying he's a douchebag, but surely you can see it's not a good idea to get drunk with a client during a booking for exactly this sort of reason? Also, if you've been offering bareback anyway, surely you're on a permanent form of contraception? ???
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Yeah no here's the scary part. I haven't been on birth control! Now the bareback services well you see it started in the beginning of my escorting journey and only with "certain clients".. "who I trusted" and now looking back it was probably more than comfort (maybe a total of 10 the three years I've been escorting.. not all at the same time)... my mentality was I guess since i was single, probably with a combination of low self esteem and not knowing the person and realizing I had the control in the situation. Then, I started seeing a client (regularly) and we ended up being f*ck buddies but the problem was that I was still seeing a client who I was regularly seeing and he was paying me a bit extra (but not much) for bareback while still seeing my f*ck buddy. Needless to say that ended. I've now cut off contact with all clients I have made the mistake of doing bareback in the moment with. I can't believe how stupid I was. Then this happens! But everybody is right here, so important not to drink and be aware of the situation. I didnt drink a lot before this was kind of a new thing but I guess it just got out of control (clearly). I just, i hate having to be in control all the time and i always feel like people should just know but I guess I should NEVER ever forget since there's so much stigma around escorts and etc. Ugh. I would say that dealing with the annoying text messages, manipulations, behaviours, is probably all the worst part of escorting
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What's your question OP? It sounds as if you know you're engaging in risky behaviour. Do you want to continue with this or do you want help to stop?
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Jellib when you get the chance pop to the gum clinic and get tested asap.
Look after yourself and don't take chances with strangers know matter who they are fuck buddy or client.
Your sexual health is important especially if you want to keep working you don't need worrying constantly.
Be kind to yourself and decide what works best for you .
As other ladies mentioned caution with condoms and untrustworthy guys.
Do you really need to do bareback ?
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If I’m bent over I always tickle their balls, that way I would notice any fiddling and I can feel for the ridge of the condom every 30 seconds or so just to check it hasn’t slipped
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If I’m bent over I always tickle their balls, that way I would notice any fiddling and I can feel for the ridge of the condom every 30 seconds or so just to check it hasn’t slipped
Yes that is what I said. Not rocket science as they say.