tbh I see a lot of reverse bookings on adultwork from guys seeking short notice holiday companions because the person they'd booked isn't able to accompany them anymore, so you're not the only one to have these feelings!

I've been offered similar bookings in the past, either paid at a fraction of my earning potential or not paid at all and had to explain that while a "free holiday" sounds nice on paper I'd still have bills to pay when I get home. I'd have to be really keen on a client to agree to something like that... plus there's a lot of trust involved because once you're out of the country there is significant expense to get your own space or return home should they start behaving badly. All that is to say I think you're making the right decision to cancel if you're not vibing with the guy and he's become pushy

Really there are a few tracks you could take, depending on if you think he can change or would like to continue seeing him as a client.

If you think you can talk to him about your feelings and ask him to be more mindful about the way he touches you and speaks to you then I'd recommend you do so. Explain that it's a long time to spend together and you'd like to both genuinely enjoy yourselves and that requires honest communication. You can also negotiate time to spend apart, expected hours to sleep, limits on alcohol consumption and any other deal breakers

If you don't think feedback would work and definitely want out of the booking but want to keep him as a client, I'd offer a generic excuse that there is something in your personal life preventing you from honouring the booking. I wouldn't disclose what this is, but sincerely apologies and refund any deposit. If he was a regular I wanted to keep then I might offer a discount or extension on his next booking by way of an apology.

If not, I'd send him an honest message saying "I'm sorry but following our last session I've reconsidered our arrangement for the holiday next month" and let the cards fall as they may lol

Tbh.. This is a tough one. I think you have to be honest with him, In terms of ur family commitments bring priority at the moment
 or you could lie🤦🏽‍♀️... but I suggest sickness which needs to be monitored closely by the gp, heart conditions etc...
If you collected a deposit return it and apologise

tbh I see a lot of reverse bookings on adultwork from guys seeking short notice holiday companions because the person they'd booked isn't able to accompany them anymore, so you're not the only one to have these feelings!

I've been offered similar bookings in the past, either paid at a fraction of my earning potential or not paid at all and had to explain that while a "free holiday" sounds nice on paper I'd still have bills to pay when I get home. I'd have to be really keen on a client to agree to something like that... plus there's a lot of trust involved because once you're out of the country there is significant expense to get your own space or return home should they start behaving badly. All that is to say I think you're making the right decision to cancel if you're not vibing with the guy and he's become pushy

Really there are a few tracks you could take, depending on if you think he can change or would like to continue seeing him as a client.

If you think you can talk to him about your feelings and ask him to be more mindful about the way he touches you and speaks to you then I'd recommend you do so. Explain that it's a long time to spend together and you'd like to both genuinely enjoy yourselves and that requires honest communication. You can also negotiate time to spend apart, expected hours to sleep, limits on alcohol consumption and any other deal breakers

If you don't think feedback would work and definitely want out of the booking but want to keep him as a client, I'd offer a generic excuse that there is something in your personal life preventing you from honouring the booking. I wouldn't disclose what this is, but sincerely apologies and refund any deposit. If he was a regular I wanted to keep then I might offer a discount or extension on his next booking by way of an apology.

If not, I'd send him an honest message saying "I'm sorry but following our last session I've reconsidered our arrangement for the holiday next month" and let the cards fall as they may lol

thank you for such a detailed reply. I really appreciate it -  and interesting point about the reverse bookings in such cases. I could certainly put that to him. I’m really not fussed about keeping him as a client.

thank you for such a detailed reply. I really appreciate it -  and interesting point about the reverse bookings in such cases. I could certainly put that to him. I’m really not fussed about keeping him as a client.

Giving him a few weeks notice means he can hopefully find someone to take his place, if you've got the details of the airline etc he's using you could check how much they charge to change the name on a booking and offer to cover that charge so he can take someone else?

I think clients assume a certain level of risk when it comes to making big arrangements like this, especially if no deposit is paid. So while I'm not indifferent to his side of things I don't think it's fair on your to be out of pocket for "your" half of the expenses if he can find someone else to take... especially if the reason you don't feel comfortable going is because he's become rougher with you and more demanding since arrangements have been made.

Sometimes the promise of a big payout shifts the balance of power too far and we put ourselves through things we don't want to just to keep the peace. As you say, smiling through an hour to an overnight is doable but longer than that and away from your security net is just not worth it IMO  (speaking from experience!)

There's nothing unprofessional in your approach. Nothing to feel bad about, don't beat yourself up.
Does he feel bad about acting like a dick and feeling entitled to touching you the way he wants (and trying to guilt trip you)? I doubt it!

He didn't even pay you a deposit. Since you're not fussed about keeping him as a client, there's nothing more to do than to shoot him a message that you won't be going.
If you're feeling generous, add to this "sadly". I won't be going, sadly.

This

Tbh I feel your pain I got rid of a reg after agreeing to a weekend away, he was paying for everything and giving me a fee, but started messaging in the run up about getting me drunk, (I'm tee total and he knows this) so he can loosen me up and see what he can get me to do, that was me out.

This guy has been unpleasant in a booking with his inconsiderate physical contact and then tried to guilt you and gaslight you to male you feel bad about not letting him do as he pleased to you in any way he wanted.

That is not a considerate man who you want to spend a week with, I seriously recommend you bow out of this one for your own peace of mind, I can see you 2 days into this having a blazing row with him and having to book a flight home to get away, I'd send him something along these lines, good luck x


Hi Fred blogs

I know you won't find this message to your liking but it's one I feel I need to send, sooner rater than later.

Following on from your last booking with me and your subsequent message I feel it would be wrong of me to continue our agreement in regards to the holiday in October, your actions in that booking and in your message after it made me very uncomfortable and I am no longer willing to go forward with the holiday.

Sadly this is not up for discussion as I have made my decision, I will also not be accepting any future bookings from you as I don't feel the business relationship we have at present is sustainable.

Kind regards

A much relived woman

I would do a holiday with
NO SEX! 

I love you girls -
He has been told. I shall rest easy tonight (happily). Thank goodness for all the lovely clients

Well done for telling him, I'm sure the relief is palpable and that is all you need to realise you did the right thing and to stick to your decision.

I'm actually relieved for you xx