Author Topic: Asking for a review (Read 3232 times)

css3456 · « **on:** 02 July 2010, 03:38:59 pm »

Sorry to keep posting my inane questions here... but I sometimes have trouble being assertive with clients (something that will no doubt change as I grow a thicker skin!)

If a client is having a wonderful time, sends you sweet messages the next day, and generally behaves like he is enjoying the service provided... how do you ask him for a review without seeming too mercenary? Especially with emotional, needy types? Or should I just not bother asking and wait for someone who feels more, um, transactional about the whole thing.

sammy s · « **Reply #1 on:** 02 July 2010, 03:44:35 pm »

i just say to them would you mind leaving me feedback as it can help me get more work and i'll leave you some too

UrbaneAspects · « **Reply #2 on:** 02 July 2010, 06:37:03 pm »

Quote from: css3456 on 02 July 2010, 03:38:59 pm

If a client is having a wonderful time, sends you sweet messages the next day, and generally behaves like he is enjoying the service provided... how do you ask him for a review without seeming too mercenary?

You don't....you just don't. I've asked clients to write reviews also after recieving thankyou emails and big tips...that does not entitle you to a review. Clients are well aware that writing a review will get more clients. Personally, only a client who TRULY cares will go out his way to write a review (and risk you getting so busy, you no longer have time for him). I didn't get any from the ones I asked.

cassie · « **Reply #3 on:** 03 July 2010, 12:01:42 am »

I'd disagree with Joey for the most part, some may feel that way, but most of my clients are not into review writing and like to keep their 'affairs' private. Some are happy to post in my personal guestbook on my website.

Personally, I don't like asking and I feel it is a bit rude, but thats just me.

css3456 · « **Reply #4 on:** 03 July 2010, 10:12:53 am »

Thanks, guys! I'm still a bit shy about it, but looking forward to being a bit more assertive!

Lucy Chambers · « **Reply #5 on:** 03 July 2010, 08:10:18 pm »

Looking forward to being assertive? Gawd. Forgive me, but being assertive is the last thing on your list..you need to be internet and warning savvy. You need to learn your boundaries, your likes and dislikes and learn how to implement your safe working practices. If you cannot learn those those things and implement them then you are not in the right job, and will shortly discover why. Sorry people, but I am a little sick of people assuming this profession is childs play as long as you have the appropriate tackle.

UrbaneAspects · « **Reply #6 on:** 03 July 2010, 09:44:12 pm »

Quote from: cassie on 03 July 2010, 12:01:42 am

I'd disagree with Joey for the most part, some may feel that way, but most of my clients are not into review writing and like to keep their 'affairs' private.

You always disagree with me

I do understand what you mean...some like to keep their affairs private. Not saying they don't.

Quote from: Lucy Chambers on 03 July 2010, 08:10:18 pm

learn learn learn learn. Sorry people, but I am a little sick of people assuming this profession is childs play as long as you have the appropriate tackle.

Jesus Christ, give her a break. Everyone learns when they are ready. It doesn't happen overnight and I'm still learing myself. We all are. Internet escorting isn't the same as street walking and therefore we have a bit more room to fail...it doesn't necessarily mean risking our lives anymore by making a mistake.

Im also sick of others suggesting that 'the job is not for you'. If everyone said that, everybody would have failed and never tried again. If so and so feels they are not cut out for the work, then so and so has the ability to look for something else. Scareing someone into quitting is not very supportive advice. Im sure no one has to tell anyone to stop having encounters with men they are not attracted to. Its a personal decision.

css3456 · « **Reply #7 on:** 04 July 2010, 03:22:01 am »

Thank you, Joey.

Lucy, I'm not quite sure what to say. Yes, I'm new. Yes, I'm learning. That's why I'm here, why we're all here, to grow and share with each other and learn.

Lucy Chambers · « **Reply #8 on:** 04 July 2010, 05:42:13 am »

Quote from: css3456 on 04 July 2010, 03:22:01 am

Thank you, Joey.

Lucy, I'm not quite sure what to say. Yes, I'm new. Yes, I'm learning. That's why I'm here, why we're all here, to grow and share with each other and learn.

Firstly, hi! Secondly, hope you are ok. And thirdly, I was only trying to point out that the most vital aspects of this job are the safety ones, and they need to be at the top of any list of first things to learn! I was not trying to be harsh, or judgemental, only realistic. If someone needs to learn to be assertive, that implies that they are not already, which worries me! And I fully appreciate that we are all learning, every day.. certainly I am. But this can be a dangerous job, indoors or out of them and the dangers are the ones we all need to be conversant with. FIRST. I did not wish to offend, only to point out the realistic dangers, nor did I wish to scare anyone. I did not say that anyone should find alternative work, I said that anyone who cannot learn the safety aspects should look for alternative work. I actually do think that there is very little room for a mistake when it comes to safety.

Alexa Shelley · « **Reply #9 on:** 04 July 2010, 11:47:50 am »

Hi css, I hope that you are OK. I understand that as a newbie also, that perhaps I am not as qualified as some of the long standing members to give advice. However as a newbie (I started work a month ago) I understand the importance of getting some reviews in order to appear credible to potential clients. This is particularly true on aw now that they have the god awful verification system, which I won't rant about as I know there is a whole other thread dedicated to this purpose.

I have found that if a client has particularly enjoyed a session as they tell you so, then if you just ask politely if they would mind leaving you some feedback as you are new and it would greatly help your business, often they are willing to oblige. Most of the clients I have seen are just lovely down to earth guys and don't mind sparing five minutes - after all on aw everyone has nicknames so they are not 'exposing' themselves in any way.

Obviously you get the impression that some clients just see the arrangement as a cash for pleasure and get out of the door quick arrangement and I wouldn't ask such a client for feedback. But the ones who are chatty and you seem to click with, I don't see why not, especially as a pp said it works both ways.

Good luck

Axxx

EmilyJones · « **Reply #10 on:** 04 July 2010, 08:13:21 pm »

Quote from: css3456 on 04 July 2010, 03:22:01 am

Lucy, I'm not quite sure what to say. Yes, I'm new. Yes, I'm learning. That's why I'm here, why we're all here, to grow and share with each other and learn.

Of course, this place is definitely for learning.

I do have to agree with Lucy though that you perhaps don't seem to see just how vulnerable you are? Which is worrying for us because, as your original post in this thread clearly states, you have some clients who DO see how vulnerable you are (the ones who are being 'emotional and needy' and trying to take more from you than you maybe want to give).

This business isn't a great one for the shy and passive to experience. Do you perhaps know if you could try taking some assertiveness training? It will serve you well in all walks of life. I am so assertive that I frequently frighten people half to death, which is enjoyable because I'm dreadful

, but you don't have to go that far yourself - you can still be adorable and sweet and feminine and whatnot if that's how you like to portray yourself. But if you don't want to spend the rest of your life not getting your needs/desires met, it's a good idea to at least get your friends to help you practice making yourself clear, and to be able to ask questions and get answers and able to firmly reject social/emotional/sexual stuff from people that you don't want that stuff from.

On the other hand - there was a while ago a very assertive young woman who posted here who I think mentioned that most of her clients were extremely needy and clingy and lots of them cried and begged when she announced her retirement, but although she was very good at the Ultra-Sweet GFE she was also good at cutting 'em all off when she needed to. So I apologise if I'm also getting the wrong end of the stick here and worrying unnecessarily (of course I see that it's also none of my business how you conduct your life and business, but that's a separate issue

) but I hate to see someone stressing about something that's fixable and can't resist sticking my oar in!

cassie · « **Reply #11 on:** 04 July 2010, 09:33:28 pm »

Quote from: American Joey on 03 July 2010, 09:44:12 pm

Quote from: cassie on 03 July 2010, 12:01:42 am
I'd disagree with Joey for the most part, some may feel that way, but most of my clients are not into review writing and like to keep their 'affairs' private.

You always disagree with me

No I don't

There is a very recent thread on here where I actually say: 'I agree with Joey...' - I can't remember where, but it's here somewhere. lol

css3456 · « **Reply #12 on:** 04 July 2010, 10:49:53 pm »

Hey everyone, thank you so much for your concern. I appreciate your looking out for me. But really, I'm a quite assertive person. I was making a bit of a joke about looking forward to being assertive. If you knew me in real life, you'd know that I'm a sweet person, but I have no problem setting limits and boundaries when I need to, or protecting my safety, livelihood, or anything else. I may be new at this (and have a lot to learn about some of the mechanics of it all), but I can handle my shit and you don't have to worry too much about me.

The thing with this client was not that I was afraid to ask him... but just that I thought he wouldn't take it well. There are a few others (and only a few at this point) that I would feel very comfortable asking for feedback, but this particular one is a bit needy and I didn't want to turn him off entirely when there's no need. So I was just wondering if you girls had ever been in a similar situation. Perhaps I did not give enough details in my first post...or maybe you guys just need to lay off (haha, see, I'm being assertive!)

Thanks for being such a great bunch of people and for keeping the culture of this forum strong and healthy. So happy to have found this great place!

EmilyJones · « **Reply #13 on:** 05 July 2010, 08:44:59 am »

Quote from: css3456 on 04 July 2010, 10:49:53 pm

Perhaps I did not give enough details in my first post...or maybe you guys just need to lay off (haha, see, I'm being assertive!)

Ha, point taken and agreed.

Glad all is okay. I don't ask for reviews but got given some crappy ones (about how I'm fat and live in a pigsty) quite early on. My AW feedback, where clients know that you can give them feedback in return, has been 100% ridiculously glowingly positive. I'm not sure if you said you advertise on AW? It's a pretty yucky site but a lot of my clients come from there - if you maintain a nice profile without the words "cum" "guzzling" or "slut" on it, then it's easy to weed out the morons and only see better clients. I think it might even be more likely that the clients I get from there have a better understanding of the transactional side of this work so are much less likely to be strange and over-attached (possibly due to over-exposure to those aforementioned words), too. But no single method is perfect so yes, like has been said by everyone all over this site, different things work for different people.

I wouldn't ask a needy/clingy client for a review unless I wanted to get rid of him. Can you imagine the irritating matyrdom you'd inspire in him?! He'd drag himself home, collapse in front of his laptop, tears dribbling down his face - she doesn't love me, she only wants me for a review! Maudlin music in the background, definitely a thunderstorm outside. Such melodrama would probably be extremely secretly enjoyable for the over-emotional type of client but it's unlikely that he's self-aware enough to know this. It would probably also trigger him to start Level 2 of Emotional Manipulation (including sorrowful poems to be sent to object of desire, plus daily moping, and talking about her on online forums to other punters and using lots of these emoticons:

) so you have to be ready for that.

Anyway, I'd say the best clients to ask for a review from would be the cheerful ones who clearly have no problems accepting the absurdity of life in general, let alone of the sex industry, in good humour. I can tell these ones because I love them and they always end up getting free time from me.

Do you have any of these? If so, just be frank with them and ask as they almost definitely won't be offended, they'll probably just be happy to help you out in exchange for having such a lovely time with you!

Lucy Chambers · « **Reply #14 on:** 05 July 2010, 05:13:45 pm »

Quote from: css3456 on 04 July 2010, 10:49:53 pm

I can handle my shit and you don't have to worry too much about me.

Perhaps I did not give enough details in my first post...or maybe you guys just need to lay off (haha, see, I'm being assertive!)

Thanks for being such a great bunch of people and for keeping the culture of this forum strong and healthy. So happy to have found this great place!

You go girl! And as a tip, some people seem to have success by offering a pin to a picture album in exchange for a review. I don't know if it works as I torture my clients until they give me one..

L x

See also the main SAAFE.info site for more Support And Advice For Escorts

Author Topic: Asking for a review (Read 3232 times)

css3456

Asking for a review

sammy s

Re: Asking for a review

UrbaneAspects

Re: Asking for a review

cassie

Re: Asking for a review

css3456

Re: Asking for a review

Lucy Chambers

Re: Asking for a review

UrbaneAspects

Re: Asking for a review

css3456

Re: Asking for a review

Lucy Chambers

Re: Asking for a review

Alexa Shelley

Re: Asking for a review

EmilyJones

Re: Asking for a review

cassie

Re: Asking for a review

css3456

Re: Asking for a review

EmilyJones

Re: Asking for a review

Lucy Chambers

Re: Asking for a review