I?m just feeling fragile right now. The client disrespected my barriers and didn?t understand what this means.

I'm so sorry this happened to you!

People may have cavalier (and idiotic, in my opinion) attitudes to risking their own lives by having unprotected sex with strangers and/or with other people who have unprotected sex with strangers, but to do this to someone without their permission, against their will, is absolutely disgusting behaviour.

I don't have personal experience with PEP but I think we've all been disrespected by somebody who demonstrates a total disregard for your health or personal comfort/safety/happiness in some way at some point so I do know how breathtaking the shock and horror can feel. And then you just feel like you've lost all faith in humanity and it can all be extremely depressing.

You should definitely not have to deal with this alone - I'm glad the counsellor at Praed was helpful; could they perhaps provide an on-going meet or two just for added support? I'm not sure what's available there, but if they can't do it I'm sure they would give you the details of another health/support organisation that could. It depends on your personal feelings, of course, but this could be something like a rape victim support group or organisation, or perhaps someone who's able to discuss fears relating to HIV/AIDs, or someone who is involved with helping sex workers through trickier times.

I'm really hoping for all the best for you during this awful time, although thankfully it will be a limited time. I don't think you need to explain illness to friends or family - you could get a dreadful flu at any time, really, and perhaps 'confide' that you've not been eating your fruit & veg recently. I know that sounds a  bit silly but I can't imagine anyone seeing that you're under the weather and deciding to interrogate you about why - if they did, you'd be well within your rights to be sick on their shoes and tell them to bugger off!

Please do let us know here if there's anything else you need that we can help with, too. If there's any chance of taking even a day off in the upcoming weeks to have entirely to yourself - no friends' or boyfriend's questions to answer, no family stress, just taking care of yourself and having a little time to breathe and relax, then please do try to do so - you deserve a bit of time off from other worries right now as your body needs to deal with the PEP stuff.

OMG that is awful what a bastard!
I cant imagine what you must be going through, I dont have any experience with PEP but a friend of minel I toured with once had unprotected sex with an African client after she got drunk on an overnight booking and I went with her to the hospital to get PEP treatment and they were really helpful and she got in touch with the Terrance Higgins on the helpline number.

If you want I can put you in touch with her as she obviously knows more about it than me, this may be of comfort to you, her 3 month test so far has come back negative I think she has a couple more to go, I hope things go well for you hun, and if you want to PM for a chat or anything than please do xxx

Oh, I'm sorry. Be gentle with yourself the next few weeks.

Sorry to bring in the word, but you've been raped, so consider rape support as an option as Emily said, but this is also something you could potentially tell people who are close to you with details changed or withheld (you can say you're having counselling and don't want to talk about it otherwise). There's plenty of reasons you might not want to go that route though.

You could also find another reason to tell people you're on PEP. If there's any area of your life where you could be pricked by a used needle that would work. Or perhaps you tried to help someone who coughed blood in your face, and you found out later that they were HIV+. You'd need to flesh out the story a bit, but it would go some way to explaining why you're not at your best mentally as well as physically.

Or you could just be ill. If you were my friend and I'd never known you to be ill before I might say "but you never get sick!", but that wouldn't indicate any kind of doubt or judgement. There's no reason for people not to take it at face value.

Oh, I'm sorry. Be gentle with yourself the next few weeks.

Sorry to bring in the word, but you've been raped, so consider rape support as an option as Emily said, but this is also something you could potentially tell people who are close to you with details changed or withheld (you can say you're having counselling and don't want to talk about it otherwise). There's plenty of reasons you might not want to go that route though.

You could also find another reason to tell people you're on PEP. If there's any area of your life where you could be pricked by a used needle that would work. Or perhaps you tried to help someone who coughed blood in your face, and you found out later that they were HIV+. You'd need to flesh out the story a bit, but it would go some way to explaining why you're not at your best mentally as well as physically.

Or you could just be ill. If you were my friend and I'd never known you to be ill before I might say "but you never get sick!", but that wouldn't indicate any kind of doubt or judgement. There's no reason for people not to take it at face value.

Thank you. I think I will get some councilling. I'm OK around friends, but I keep crying when I'm on my own. I'll suddenly just burst into tears when I'm ironing or something mundane like that.

Another excuse for PEP sounds good. I'm going away with a group of friends soon and I'm sharing a room with my best friend so hiding and secretly taking all these pills would be a nightmare. Will get to work fleshing that one out
xxx

I am so sorry to hear this.

I can't be much help save to offer a good excuse for being run down for a few weeks - glandular fever

One of my regulars barebacked me Thursday night. I couldn?t believe he did it. I felt so sick afterwards, I thought I would pass out. He?s never had a check-up and the answers to my questions about his sexual history kept changing, he mentioned one night stands and other WGs that offered BB so I considered it a high enough risk that I felt it necessary to start the PEP course. I know the risks are something like 0.05% but I would regret it if I missed the window of opportunity.

I went to Praed the morning after it happened. The councillor was excellent. I was still in shock when I saw her. I?m going to fill in an ugly mugs form.

What is killing me is I can?t tell anyone close to me. I have a lot of family stress and illness at the moment so I just told my boyfriend I was stressed about that. I?m mostly OK not telling people about this job (I have friends that I can confide in), but I don?t know how to explain the nausea. The nurse said weeks 3 and 4 I?ll have very little energy. I never get ill and I?m always full of energy. I have people that depend on me. Such a sudden change will be really noticeable but I definitely want to continue with the course. I?m going on holiday (which is also part of my other job) at the end of this week.

I?m just feeling fragile right now. The client disrespected my barriers and didn?t understand what this means.

I'm sooo sorry to hear this. Praed Street Project are amazing. I went there a couple of weeks back and filled out the Ugly Mugs form. I took myself off to cousins up North for a while and I got the all clear while I was away. Hope you do too. Mine was also a regular. Just goes to show we must never get complacent and watch our backs even when we think we know and trust them.
Hope you don't get too ill with the treatment. HUGE HUGS xxx

Hi Lilly

I can't really add to all the brilliant advice and words above, but just wanted to say how sorry I am you went through (and are going through) such a traumatic experience.  Hope you feel better soon.

((((Hugs))))

Angela xx