SAAFE forum
General Category => Questions and Answers => Topic started by: Love.Sex.Dreams on 11 September 2019, 06:33:02 am
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Would you do it? Spend a few hours with a condescending prick for £3,500
So I have seen him twice before at my normal rate when I was touring his city. Now, he wants to do a "fly me to you" weekend date and he'll cover everything. I'll probably only spend 6 hours max with him for that £3,500. I just don't know if it's worth it. To be honest I have been questioning the whole escorting thing lately. Disordered/narcissistic men are rampant in this business (maybe just my experience) and I don't know if I can take it anymore as they remind me of my mother, whom I hate with a passion. She is a snobby, misogynistic hypocrite herself. I suspect she did sex-work in the past but is now holier-than-thou because she was "saved" by this poor soul who she manipulates like play-dough. Anyway, that's another story.
I didn't mean to ramble, sorry, now back to this guy in question. He is a high earner, specialised doctor by profession, married. Problem is he is very snobby. Last I saw him he was mocking my RnB playlist, saying Mozart is better especially since he is an "intellectual". I played along and put Mozart on. He was even criticising my frozen salmon dinner as he was leaving, saying he only eats fresh, "high end" food. I also think he secretly went through my toiletry bag as he was showering cause after the booking, he started asking me (in an accusatory tone) about herpes (he really emphasised herpes) and other STIs, there was cold sore medication in my bag which is not mine. So I put 2 and 2 together and I confronted him by text after he left and he denied it, saying the medication "fell out" ::) .....
I put him on Ugly Mugs here (Australia) cause I thought what he did was quite sneaky and out of order. I am now thinking the fly me to you booking could be a setup as maybe some escort showed him my UM report and he wants to get his revenge but then again it might be genuine because he can certainly afford it. It's just his snobbiness and condescending attitude ughhh ..... I am at a stage where I want to prioritise my mental health. I guess I have answered my own question. Still keen to hear from you ladies. What do you think? What is your tolerance when it comes to men like this? Should I ask him for £5k instead ???
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What do you think? What is your tolerance when it comes to men like this? Should I ask him for £5k instead ???
I think it would be a very wise idea for you shift your focus and follow your gut rather then focusing solely on the money. The bookings Ive had in the past e.g. where Ive made a heck of a lot in one booking were horrible. In hindsight I would never allow myself to go thru that experience again because I felt like crap afterwards - the money didnt feel rewarding in the slightest. Money comes and goes but your mental health is priceless!
If you dont enjoy your time with this guy, no amount of money is going to change that. If you continue to accept bookings from men you dont have a good time with then it will take a toll on your mental health and you will start to resent the business (which by the sounds of it you already are)
If you do decide to go ahead, make sure you take a hefty deposit upfront: but from what you have described already he doesnt sound like someone I would want to see again. Im not in this business to feel like crap after a booking. If Im not having a good time for whatever reason then they end up on my block list!
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This guy sounds absolutely draining. The money is very tempting but no amount of money is worth you sacrificing your mental health. Other better opportunities will come along. Good luck xx
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If you do decide to go ahead, make sure you take a hefty deposit upfront: but from what you have described already he doesnt sound like someone I would want to see again.
He is on standby now with money for the air tickets plus 70% of the fee. You are quite right. I will just ignore him, think I am burning myself out seeing men who drain me. It's my own fault
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think I am burning myself out seeing men who drain me. It's my own fault
We have all been there at some point babe moreso when its quiet and our phone is getting dusty, LOL!
However little or many there are, there are always going to be men who we click with / have a good experience with. If you keep that in mind (and get into a routine of blocking men who dont make you feel good after a meet), your naturally going to change your mindset/feeling about the business/men and your mental health will improve for sure
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Is there a price you would be happy with? It doesn't sound like even the £5k would be enough.
How comfortable would you be taking the money, then ensuring that he never booked you again. Eating pot noodles in front of him, insisting on only listening to RnB cover versions by people who didn't win X-Factor, watching soap opera repeats, etc etc etc...
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We have all been there at some point babe moreso when its quiet and our phone is getting dusty, LOL!
However little or many there are, there are always going to be men who we click with / have a good experience with. If you keep that in mind (and get into a routine of blocking men who dont make you feel good after a meet), your naturally going to change your mindset/feeling about the business/men and your mental health will improve for sure
Thank you, such wise words. It makes sense. It's not even THAT quiet. It's just that I am very greedy and the prospect of making almost half of my monthly target in a few hours really enticed me. But guess what, I would have taken a week off to recover from the mental anguish (forget the physical part, this guy finishes in 5mins and does 1 round) of being put down like I am some sub-human. NEVER AGAIN 8) ....I would rather see a few nice guys over a week to make that
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Is there a price you would be happy with? It doesn't sound like even the £5k would be enough.
How comfortable would you be taking the money, then ensuring that he never booked you again. Eating pot noodles in front of him, insisting on only listening to RnB cover versions by people who didn't win X-Factor, watching soap opera repeats, etc etc etc...
Lol, I wish I had the guts. Just the sound of his voice makes my skin crawl. He is THAT obnoxious. This would surely wind him up though, last I spoke to him he was saying he would book a suite at the Ritz and I could order room service with "proper food"
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I would either get myself into a mindset where I could do it, or not do it at all - I have done the former I just have to put a very good professional 'I'm not letting you in' type state.
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Yikes what a difficult situation. There's been so many times I have swallowed my pride and went into it but it definitely takes a mental drain. I guess it ultimately depends, if you say no you can always make it elsewhere, but I know that feeling, and I hate turning down money lol. Sounds snobby, maybe tell him not everyone came from a rich and privileged background lol.
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Frozen fish is actually better than "fresh fish" it could have been caught over 20 days ago in the "fresh produce" isle at the shops. I'd have some smart ass retorts like this under my belt. If you can be a smart arse actress then do it for the dosh & don't see him again.
Drop some beats to Mozart & do him a little rap saying how great he is. If you are thinking of quitting you'll need to money if this your sole job. You say it wont be a long time with him, 6 hours but it's over a weekend, sounds a bit contradictory but a bonus for the money. Be totally facetious in his company for revenge. :P
If he's irritating you when your minds not in it though, you may not want to bother yourself. Especially if it has the potential to wind you up for weeks afterward.
I know how to handle narcissists but absolutely agree, they are extremely draining. Constantly need their ego buffering etc. If someone gives me the physical shuddering creeps/heebie jeebies & flags up in my mind for several days/weeks after, I wont see him again.
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Huh, not earning 3.5k would be worse for my mental health than putting up with an insecure snob for 6 hours. Just saying...
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Frozen fish is actually better than "fresh fish" it could have been caught over 20 days ago in the "fresh produce" isle at the shops. I'd have some smart ass retorts like this under my belt. If you can be a smart arse actress then do it for the dosh & don't see him again. Drop some beats to Mozart & do him a little rap saying how great he is. If you are thinking of quitting you'll need to money if this your sole job. You say it wont be a long time with him, 6 hours but it's over a weekend, sounds a bit contradictory but a bonus for the money. Be totally facetious in his company for revenge. :P
If he's irritating you when your minds not in it though, you may not want to bother yourself. Especially if it has the potential to wind you up for weeks afterward.
I know how to handle narcissists but absolutely agree, they are extremely draining. Constantly need their ego buffering etc. If someone gives me the physical shuddering creeps/heebie jeebies & flags up in my mind for several days/weeks after, I wont see him again.
This is exactly what I was thinking regarding the freshness of the fish lol, but I didn't even say it. I am not so witty, I'm intelligent by measure of IQ but I am very slow if that makes sense. :FF ....yes he asked me to quote him for the weekend but he has a demanding job (always on call) and then he can't stay overnight because of the wife, so I thought I could bear it for 6 hours but I guess not.
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Take his money, play along and laugh at him in your head. If he needs to pay to have someone sat and be his punchbag, it makes for a pathetic individual. Thankfully most punters aren’t that way...
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It's not even THAT quiet. It's just that I am very greedy and the prospect of making almost half of my monthly target in a few hours really enticed me.
Well at least you’re honest haha! I totally hear/resonate with you though!
We all have our own strengths and weaknesses and from looking at the most recent replies, I guess you need to weigh up your own. Personally speaking, I’m the type of person that internalises everything. I know myself well enough to know I wouldn’t be able to wing it for that long as I already have underlining mental health that affect me on a daily basis - and slow money for me is better then making loads of money from a bell end ;D
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I'd suggest he's a verbal humiliation player a type of domination and it comes in many forms. The sex isn't the main reason your there. I had several clients like this all high value, rude, critical and relish making offensive personal remarks. My main strategy is brick wall, can't argue with a brick wall. I don't respond to negative remarks.
My friend took me on a duo with her regular who was a verbal humiliation player. She charged him double normal rate for each hour. We ignored him throughout the restaurant date and disposed of him quick and efficiently during the sex part. Again ignoring him.This was my first head fuck client and I said to my friend '...wow your really ignoring him' ...she said '`Yes, he can say what he likes, we don't listen, order all the lobster and crab you want! We exploded his credit card which was ticking away behind the bar as punishment. He still had a horrid effect on me mentally as he was so skilled at mind fucking. I had a hideous nighmare that night! All the escort agencies had banned him too.
If you can build that brick wall, play him and take the cash. It's psycological warfare so why not
charge big 'danger money' ?
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He has a Wife?! This intrigues me.
If it was me, I would calculate how long and how hard I would have to work with decent clients that deserve me and make a little note when I have achieved the target.
It just takes longer, but the end result in your bank would be the same.
I would have the opinion that life is too short and on my deathbed, I wouldn't be regretting turning down a few grand for precious days of it wasted on someone who wasn't worthy of me :-\
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whilst he sounds like an ass im lost as to why was reported to ugly mugs? as i missing something?
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I'm in the same boat as "mentally brick wall him" and take his cash.
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I'd want to kill him at the end of the 6 hours !
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whilst he sounds like an ass im lost as to why was reported to ugly mugs? as i missing something?
He unzipped my bag and took a look at the contents. Lucky my passport or money wasn't in there.
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Well at least you’re honest haha! I totally hear/resonate with you though!
We all have our own strengths and weaknesses and from looking at the most recent replies, I guess you need to weigh up your own. Personally speaking, I’m the type of person that internalises everything. I know myself well enough to know I wouldn’t be able to wing it for that long as I already have underlining mental health that affect me on a daily basis - and slow money for me is better then making loads of money from a bell end ;D
This, I wish I could grey-rock him like what others have said but I am dealing with a lot of personal stuff and usually what they say really gets to me.
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He definitely sounds 'disordered' and takes his jollies from being horrible to you.
If you can make this money with a bit more work with a few normal clients, I would suggest you do.
It sounds like this psycho-twat thrives on being controlling, condescending and putting you down. The mental cost of taking another booking from him is huge - you spend time thinking about it, posting on here, agonising before the booking, being pissed off during the booking and being even more pissed of after the booking and analysing it some more. My guess - not worth it!
I agree that there are a lot of manipulative men in this business (not necessarily narcissistic, but somewhere on the manipulative/ abusive spectrum and definitely psychopathic types are not that difficult to come by).
It really helps to learn how manipulation and brainwashing works - it has helped me to spot the signs and get rid of many clients (and other people!).
Still learning though.
That's funny! :D But I guess he chose you because he doesn't think you would do something like this.
Yes, you are right he chose me cause he knows I am meek and submissive. A lot of punters have said I am passive, I hate it and I fantasise about being a dominatrix and "accidentally" killing men like him as "Sugarxxx" said.
I blame mommy dearest for never allowing to express anger :FF
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This, I wish I could grey-rock him like what others have said but I am dealing with a lot of personal stuff and usually what they say really gets to me.
Ditto. Thats why I dont allow any of my clients to call me names like "whore, slapper, bitch etc" in a meeting. Roleplay or not, I naturally internalise everything and it really does affects me. I take my hat off to those who can put up a brick wall!!!
Back to topic, it sounds like you've been able to come to a more informed decision now :)
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I would have killed the Bas**** and had cooked him for breakfast by now ;D just put him on ignore (Although I could'nt and would give him a few back) and think of the money. Seems like he chose u as he thinks he can bully you.
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Another thing - you're assuming that it will be 6 hours work out of the whole weekend.
It could well be only 6 hours, but it could be more. Even if he won't stay overnight, he can keep you up texting all night, for example.
Or make a surprise visit. Anything to keep you on your toes.
I only ever did one 'holiday' with a client - I paid off the credit card debt but came back as an absolute wreck.
Things do get better. x
He is the one who said 2 hours max each night of the weekend. I just added an extra hour cause you know, sh*t happens, for a total of 6. He is definitely not the texting type.
What can I do to become a mean b*tch who gives 0 f*cks? lol, I am such a sensitive people-pleaser :angel:
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Shall we move on? I'm sure there are plenty of sites for those keen on armchair psychology out there already, and the twat in the thread starter is (and should be) the focus here :)
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My thinking is,if you felt he was bad enough to merit putting him on Ugly Mugs then I can't really understand why you are considering seeing him again.
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My thinking is,if you felt he was bad enough to merit putting him on Ugly Mugs then I can't really understand why you are considering seeing him again.
The OP put him on Ugly Mugs because he went in her bag, though. Presumably she's learnt from that in the meantime and plans to keep it with her.
I'd do it for what it's worth (after taking appropriate security measures), but I have no trouble at all not hearing a word they say and even less trouble registering what they think :).
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My thinking is,if you felt he was bad enough to merit putting him on Ugly Mugs then I can't really understand why you are considering seeing him again.
totally agree with you
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I'm surprised no one has questioned whether or not the booking will actually go ahead. I personally would go ahead and endure a client like that for 3.5k, but i would be very suspicious. It's clear the guy likes to play head games, so i wouldn't be surprised if he's stringing you along with the temptation of a motherload only to block you after you take a flight and have your time wasted. If something seems to good to be true, it usually is. Be careful, get a deposit up front.
Reminds me of a head fuck ex reg i had. He paid well and my strategy was to treat a booking like i was doing a case study on a narcissist!
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When I've been in this situation I have taken the money and done the booking (because most of the time im too broke to turn money down from anyone who isn't dangerous) and just been the crappest hooker ever. If they never book again who cares cos you'll never see them again! Obvs you gotta be careful because some clients would react badly to this and your safety is the most important thing. But honestly it takes so much of the pressure off when you stop caring about whether they'll book again.