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Author Topic: 'Convincing' bf to be ok about me escorting?  (Read 3254 times)

M

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'Convincing' bf to be ok about me escorting?
« on: 27 June 2010, 09:14:22 am »
Hello, new here -

The situation is this - I'm American, bf is Irish, we want to get married at the latest by late next year, he lost his job last fall and given what he says and also what I've heard of the economic climate in Ireland/Dublin doesn't look like he'll find employment for a long time. Financially he's not good. Slim chance I could work there myself given the US isn't part of any EU agreement, whatnot. So the only thing would be escorting looks like when I do return to join him, but when I brought/bring it up he not okay with the idea. He is the jealous type, but the way I see it I'm not 'cheating' on him since I'd not be doing it out of pleasure and recreation but out of necessity.  How do you get a guy to see this and be okay with it cause it's not worth me doing if it means we break up. I had thought of doing it under the radar but Dublin is a small city so that's taking a chance with him never finding out, and also since he's unemployed and at home most of the time not possible to do this without him knowing anyway.

Also, does anyone know how is the escorting 'scene' in Dublin?
Gentlemen, start your engines.

sammy s

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Re: 'Convincing' bf to be ok about me escorting?
« Reply #1 on: 27 June 2010, 10:30:56 am »
IMO I wouldnt do it if you want to be with him.
If someone is not ok with it then they're not ok with it and no amount of explaining or pleading will help.

I was escorting with my ex and didnt tell him about it as I knew he'd completely freak out. He was an insecure person and loved me to death so to hear that I was sleeping with up to 20 men a week would have been too much for him to contemplate.
He ended up being suspicious about how I always had cash, and one day he checked my internet history and all hell broke loose.

I understand that you would only be doing it to sort out your money issues but I think you either need to respect his feelings or decide that the money situation is more important at te moment and take a break from him for a few months until it's sorted.
Maybe you could compromise and do webcam shows instead, or erotic massage?

xxx

Anika Mae

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Re: 'Convincing' bf to be ok about me escorting?
« Reply #2 on: 27 June 2010, 10:46:06 am »
Don't do it unless being an escort is more important to you than this relationship. There are plenty of women who've had successful relationships with men who knew they were escorts, but more often it ends in tears, and that's even with men who've initially agreed to deal with it. Most people don't have the capacity to deal with a relationship like this which is in conflict with society and everything they've ever learned. The chances that he does are very slim, even if you do manage to convince him initially.

Dani

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Re: 'Convincing' bf to be ok about me escorting?
« Reply #3 on: 27 June 2010, 11:26:26 am »
If he is not even ok with discussing the idea then forget it sweetie.
The majority of men are not emotionally stable enough to understand that it is a job and will never be able to deal with it. Even the few men that are have wobbly days and this can make for a difficult time.
I guess I am lucky as my partner is one of the ones who only wobbles now and then and is otherwise fully ok with it (although he will never understand it is hardwork and thinks it is easy to entertain and sexually satisfy X amount of men). Even then it can cause us problems as he may have decided to suprise me with a day out but I already have bookings etc and he cant understand why I will always honour those bookings first.

Dublin is brilliant for escorting but it really is not worth losing your partner over.

Why not ask him about camming. You could even set up a duo profile so the two of you can work together (much more fun that sitting on cam alone).

Mind you saying all that, he will need to understand that you will have to do work of some kind as you will have to support yourself as he is not financially settled and you cannot live on thin air. As you said it will be unlikely that you will be able to get a work permit so how does he expect you to live?
Truth is far more important than what one wants to hear. With truth there is no us and them or colour or religion there is just fact

Lucy Chambers

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Re: 'Convincing' bf to be ok about me escorting?
« Reply #4 on: 27 June 2010, 06:39:52 pm »
Hello, new here -

The situation is this - I'm American, bf is Irish, we want to get married at the latest by late next year, he lost his job last fall and given what he says and also what I've heard of the economic climate in Ireland/Dublin doesn't look like he'll find employment for a long time. Financially he's not good. Slim chance I could work there myself given the US isn't part of any EU agreement, whatnot. So the only thing would be escorting looks like when I do return to join him, but when I brought/bring it up he not okay with the idea. He is the jealous type, but the way I see it I'm not 'cheating' on him since I'd not be doing it out of pleasure and recreation but out of necessity.  How do you get a guy to see this and be okay with it cause it's not worth me doing if it means we break up. I had thought of doing it under the radar but Dublin is a small city so that's taking a chance with him never finding out, and also since he's unemployed and at home most of the time not possible to do this without him knowing anyway.

Also, does anyone know how is the escorting 'scene' in Dublin?

Hi Midori

I think your first question has been covered, but if you decide to go for it and you still want info re dublin, PM me, I may have some info for you.

Spangle

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Re: 'Convincing' bf to be ok about me escorting?
« Reply #5 on: 29 June 2010, 04:16:18 am »
Hiya Midori


I'm sorry to hear you and your boyfriend are having a tough time of it at the moment.
Hmm, well, in my opinion if your in serious threat of "going under" and you are in a position of getting you both out of a financial blackhole then your boyfriend should at least try to get past his feelings.  Or get a job.Of coure, easier said than done though  :-[
One thing that springs to mind though..is your boyfriend willing to look for any job or is he being picky, perhaps only willing to do the job he specialises/qualified in? Is he reluctant  about accepting a minimum wage/unskilled job perhaps? Even in a recession, if your boyfriend is willing to do cleaning/warehouse work/work on the land/supermarket cashier he WILL find work. In my experience, many people are only out of work becase they cannot get a job in what they want to do. I can understand that to a point a I would be unhappy to spend many years and lots of ??? studying only to do the same job I could have done before but sadly thats the way it is sometimes.Yonks ago, I had a boyfriend who had a masters in software engineering. He was a real brainbox, but a complete lazy dingbat with no work ethic whatsoever who saw himself "above" barwork etc, yet found it perfectly acceptable to sponge of his mother and moi (a deluded, loved up 17 year old earning ?100 a week). The same boyfriend balked at my idea of working as a stripper (me, not him lol), which later was a lucrative career for me and would have seriously upped my quality of life at the time. If so, bare that in mind when deciding what to do. Harsh as it may sound, you have to do what's right for YOU!
Ooh, on the subject of stripping, perhaps thats something you might want to try? The money isn't what it once was, but it's cash  in hand and fast cash at that. Try  http://www.ukstripclubs.com/ireland/ for clubs near you.
If you haven't danced before, don't worry it's easy and trust me, the guys aren't scoring you on your poletricks  ;)
If you want more info on this, PM me.

xhugsx
Melody xx

M

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Re: 'Convincing' bf to be ok about me escorting?
« Reply #6 on: 29 June 2010, 10:01:59 pm »
Hi all,

Well, I thought about stripping and granted, this is all on the outside looking in as I've never done any adult work of any kind, but I don't know if that'd be for me as I think I'd feel inhibited in a public setting and don't know if I could deal with the competition. As for webcamming unfortunately while I am attractive in the flesh I am not photogenic, it takes many snapshots where I come out looking good in a few, even my bf when taking my picture  wasn't thrilled by how I photograph and told me "you look way better than that!" So even though I know you don't have to be a beauty queen to webcam I think I'd look unflattering most of the time. As for him participating in a couples setup that wouldn't work, he is a straight edge and wouldn't do it. I did have a period of an active casual sexlife before meeting my bf that maybe I'm being naive but looking back esp now that there is money issues I feel like I was an unpaid prostitute, so that's why I think there'd be little difference between what I did then and escorting except for the money part, which we/he could use.

He has his dole money plus I do have some savings. He goes to some kind of job center thing as a requirement from time to time to show that he putting an effort to look, although from what I gather it's a superficial thing for the most part, just for show, and he says that it's not easy to find work because of the influx of people from other EU countries undercutting the Irish workforce, he's pretty mad about that. Anyhow thank for the helpful replies, I will take up those on their pms about info on the Dublin escort scene if and when I do need it, I just think it sucks that why should we have to live what feels like scant standards when things couuld be so much better if only he would see that, I mean his flat is on the outskirts where there's hardly anything to do, to save money he hardly uses the heating, the water is on a timer so the only time we use hot/warm water is when showering and even then the water only lasts 15-20 minutes, at first I thought it was a cool adventure living like that but not so much anymore.
Gentlemen, start your engines.

Stephanies Secrets

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Re: 'Convincing' bf to be ok about me escorting?
« Reply #7 on: 29 June 2010, 10:16:13 pm »
Don't worry about how you look in photos for webcams - I tend to look my worst in photos, but I surprised myself with how pretty I look on cam!

Spangle

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Re: 'Convincing' bf to be ok about me escorting?
« Reply #8 on: 30 June 2010, 03:24:06 am »
Hi Midori

Ahh your fella does sound like he's trying hard, nothing like my wally ex.
I used to be self-concious of my body too, but was amazed at the way my clothes seemingly would melt off as my cash dwindled lol. Strippings not for everyone though.
Ooh I had another though! Chatlines! The cash isn't great but you can do it from home and it may or may not reveal a saucier side in you...either way you'll make a few quid. There's all kinds though, not just sex ones Plus, having the accent will be a huge plus over here.

xhugsx
Melody x