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Author Topic: Clients who become "boyfriends"  (Read 15750 times)

UrbaneAspects

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Re: Clients who become "boyfriends"
« Reply #15 on: 17 January 2009, 12:58:30 am »
Sorry, but how can you get the male point of view by asking women.

Never mind, lol, mea culpa - I'm just totally confused, so will step back and see what others have to say.
No probs.
 :)

ah gees I missed the debate! I had put my 2 cents in earlier...did any of you get what I was saying?

lexienight

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Re: Clients who become "boyfriends"
« Reply #16 on: 21 January 2009, 10:29:17 pm »
Well that killed that one.

Here's my pennys worth.  I had thought about escorting for a long long time before i even started researching it so when i sat down and REALLY thought about it i had to work out why id not done it before and how would i do it and what were my options.  I did look at the sugar daddy sort of thing, too be honest i dont really understand the set up totally but i think that is partly because its a different set up for each 'couple'.

IF (and thats a massive IF) i ever did go down the Sugar Daddy route it would have to be with someone tht i had a genuine connection with but knew i would never fall in love with (as thats not part of the deal) so to me its way too dodgey and much more complicated than i would want to get in to.  I had a client recently who wanted a bit more than a GFE but not quite a sugar daddy thing and even that pissed me off so i doubt i could do it.

At least escorting you can walk away and not feel that you owe them anything or they owe you.  Im sticking with escorting.  Much easier.

As for the guys point of view.  google sugarbabes and you will see loads of sites wehre people are offering or wanting this 'service' and they write profiles like on dating sites stating what they are looking for.  Its pretty weird if you ask me but some of them offer explainations as to why its what they want.  Might give a bit of an idea.

UrbaneAspects

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Re: Clients who become "boyfriends"
« Reply #17 on: 23 January 2009, 12:06:06 am »
Gee, sugar dads are popular here in the states. Everyone I knew had 1 at some point in life. Unfortunently too many dont know how to handle sugar daddies. I like to let them know up front that its about money, and money is what I need. Not pretend like I like them for months, and then ask them for money out of the blue. Then they're reluctant to give it.

I dont like the idea of 'using' anyone cause I wouldnt want to be in that situation. Its not nice to take advantage of anyone. Thats why escorting (like lexie mentioned) is a bit more sensible. The chances of getting hurt or mislead decreases.

Miss Mary

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Re: Clients who become "boyfriends"
« Reply #18 on: 08 March 2010, 02:03:00 pm »
Wow. A topic I can actually comment on.  As someone who has been in a few SD/SB (daddy/baby) relationships. Let me tell you, its a lot of fucking work (no pun intended  ;) ). As some of you have said, yes-- lines get very blurred. And if all you're looking is the money, then honestly, why aren't you escorting? (This the question that lead me here) Many times the SD, can be super needy and intrude upon your life and in his right, he can because he provides all sorts of support. In short, for me it just wasn't worth it. But-- I do still have a man I keep in my life.

I wouldn't call him a daddy, but when we started out, we had an "arrangement". But he's a CEO in Australia and travels ALOT, but when he's back in the States he sees me and we hang out. But the relationship we have is WIDE open. He knows I date and do my thing, we even talk about it-swap advice, he actually has mentioned me to his family and I've met his colleagues (in a professional capacity) Yes, he gives me money and/or gifts. We go out together and its good fun.  (Spent New year's together, was bought a fabulous McQueen dress, and drank entirely too much Veuve and Belvedere). My best friend refers to him as my Mr. Big, she doesn't know how our relationship really started though. 

 We have a bond, and I certainly care for him quite deeply (not enough to foster a relationship, but who knows what could happen years from now) we make each other laugh and the sex is ridiculously good, almost criminal  :D But the sex isn't expected and neither is the money at this point. But he has said to me in the past, well i dont want someone who only wants me for my money, at the time I had a few drinks but the words rang in my head. I thought, well you twat I dont want you want me for my beauty, youth and tight p*ssy EITHER!!! 

The fact of the matter is there is too many emotions involved and they can "leave" whenever they choose, I feel they have more control, in various forms. For me it just wasn't worth it. I want my own life, money on my own terms. Not texts at 9 at night telling me you miss me so much while I'm at the bar getting chatted up by guys have your age  ::)

Where I am "mutually beneficial relationships" are quite popular in America. I think it comes down to girls thinking "they dont want to fuck a guy for money" so this an appealing option. But its what it turns out to be anyway.

In another scenario, i met a guy who basically wanted to fuck around on his wife, hadn't had sex in a year "but still loved her", and he offered his "assistance". First of all he was too much of my type, i.e. good looking, stylish and works in fashion, smart, great body, HUGE COCK, Hot accent (Irish), genuinely adored black women.  I was already half way in the bag. See? There are those pesky emotions. Sex was never had, thankfully. I ended up cutting the entire thing off and deleting him from my bbm. (ended up losing my phone the day after i did, and didnt get it back for a week so he probably thought I changed my #. God works in mysterious ways)  Because I should NOT be having feelings for a married man, who gives me money. DUH!!  Obviously I'm still scolding myself for this. And obviously I still want him..... (shrug) His cock was..HUGE!

Urbane, you're quite right escorting is much more sensible. If i'm going to be a whore, at least I should be a proper one.

Lena

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Re: Clients who become "boyfriends"
« Reply #19 on: 10 March 2010, 12:35:06 pm »
Miss Marry, i couldn't agree more on what you wrote! Being in this kind of relation myself, I really wonder why I don't just stick to escorting! yes, he is nice, also "still loves his wife" though no sex, very caring and I do care for him but I would do much better with plain cash that with little attention married man can afford to give me. have managed some appointments in the meantime, but all kind of secretly, and that is not going to help me get more clients. than in a few years I will ask myself - what have I been doing?
As you have said:
"If i'm going to be a whore, at least I should be a proper one."

Trafford

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Re: Clients who become "boyfriends"
« Reply #20 on: 12 March 2010, 07:32:47 am »
This thread has become very interesting.

I dont know of any studies but from observation, normal boyfriend/girlfriend realtionships can work between ex WG and client as long as both are honest in their intentions i.e. he isn't just after free sex with the ho other men have to pay for and she isn't purely looking for a way out of the business. .

The client turned sugar daddy thing. That seems to be something that sounds great on paper but the reality nearly always ends up a bit of a nightmare and usually at the fault of the ex client.

He usually starts off being openly generous which is what the relationship is clearly based on, then, over time he starts to want more and more for his money in terms of emotion. The WG still sees it as a business relationship but he starts to believe that as the WG can be nice to him for long periods and chooses to sleep with him for free (he begins to see it as free as he doesn't hand over the cash just at bedtime, more likely as a retainer) then he comes to the, very wrong, conclusion that she must love him. Oftentimes they wont directly admit that is what they think and so it manifests in the sort of texts mentioned above " missing you tonight" which translated means "I want to know what you are doing, talk to me not whoever else you may be with".

Then, while the WG is just getting on with her life, he starts to feel resentful and subtle hints begin to appear reminding said WG just how much he is paying her and how she needs to earn it. In short, invariable the sugar daddy will misread anything and everything and the WG then ends up feeling suffocated as opposed to liberated and that is too high a price to pay. When the sugar daddy is dumped, he is then left with the lonely realisation that money cant buy you love and what happens then can be very unpleasant.

CourtesanM

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Re: Clients who become "boyfriends"
« Reply #21 on: 13 March 2010, 07:44:44 pm »
Don't know of any research done on this issue but I think you may have been hearing some tall tales. 
 Parlour work/incall flat work has never appealed to me for the same reasons that real world work does not appeal; office politics.  I think these girls are telling tales to get you to feel left out.  If you are only doing the odd day the fact is that you will be treated as the odd one out. 

Most clients who hire escorts do so precisely because they DON'T want relationships and the kinds of responsibilities involved.  From the escort's perspective this kind of thing would not appeal due to the issue of discretion.  I've had to let go some of my regulars who became too much so for this very reason.  The idea of a regular client being exclusive to a single escort is also dubious.


I have 2 that are exclusive to me.. or so they say. One pays my rent and anything else i need plus also my time... the other one pays my time but pays me monthly retainer fees and any shopping i want

just depends both understand the rules

although im not just a come and go type either, but they are looking for a connection and companion..

as for sugar daddy ... yeesh yes you might as well escort honestly i dont think i will end up with that beck and call type deal.. and the lines can get blurred overtime and people will break some of the rules and then it ends tragically
« Last Edit: 13 March 2010, 07:52:06 pm by CourtesanM »

JohnNW23

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Re: Clients who become "boyfriends"
« Reply #22 on: 12 April 2010, 10:23:44 pm »
I know of a girl who only dates "sugardaddies" she really isn't bothered who knows either! so vain about it!!

i'm fascinated by it though and my view is if the men are going to be silly enough to pay it then so be it!!

EmilyJones

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Re: Clients who become "boyfriends"
« Reply #23 on: 13 April 2010, 12:10:21 pm »
i'm fascinated by it though and my view is if the men are going to be silly enough to pay it then so be it!!

Ha, I wish he hadn't gone and thereby deprived me of the opportunity to point out that this is hardly an appropriate perspective for an escort (or wannabe). I'll point it out anyway. To myself. ;D
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