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Author Topic: Are you working to fund your studies or future career?  (Read 11420 times)

figa98

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Re: Are you working to fund your studies or future career?
« Reply #15 on: 17 March 2012, 12:03:39 am »
Well said as always Emily  :)

Very much agree with the point that it would be so much more interesting to look at WHY our clients are our clients.WHY the typical middle aged married man wants/needs more than his wife.I often wonder if we could have a national sexual survey,where you could reply secretly,what the outcome would be re men using escorts,am pressumming it would be a high percentage,and would be interesting to know what they think/feel also,their situation,do they really love their wives?Some how I don't think this survey will ever happen lol.Maybe we could have one on here.

I do escort for financial reasons firstly.But I do enjoy the thrill,the meeting of people that I would not normally meet,to hear different stories,different career paths- I know all about the ups and downs of a married gp ( pardon the pun was actually unintentional ),the stories of a master who travels around with a slave to different masters venues around Europe,the a and e docter meeting in his room next to a and e for a quickie with me ( very naughty but hey was such fun ).Could go on and on but better not.I like the fact that I am in an exciting role,not just sexually,but as a package.

I also like that it is a very individual role,a very demanding one in ways you would never imagine, and you do have to be a special kind of person to do well in it.

 

Coty

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Re: Are you working to fund your studies or future career?
« Reply #16 on: 17 March 2012, 01:40:44 am »
I love all this crap about we are 'coereced' into it (that's the poor sods who are trafficked, not us) or that we only do it cos we are drug addicts (yeah right, I don't touch never would touch and never have touched drugs)!

'Would not go into prosititutiion outside of her own volition' - ha ha!! PMSL! What?! Yeah, cos that's the only acceptable reason, yeah? To be forced - oh god, get over yourself, please.

Maybe if men stepped up to be what they r supposed to be as men, we women wouldn't be in this position?

And also an interesting point, how many men would be willing to consider going out and being prostitutes to ensure that their kids had what they needed? Absolutely none I should think.

I imagine, jackman, you have opened a can of worms u didn't expect.....

We aren't 'forced' into it and as per what I said in my post, you want to look at the real reasons most women get into it. We have children to provide for. End of. It's a job. End of.

Some need it for college, many of us need it to pay our monthly bills and keep a roof over the most precious things in the world  -  our children.


Well said Bannamuffin!!!!  And Emily too!


Jackman

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Re: Are you working to fund your studies or future career?
« Reply #17 on: 18 March 2012, 11:23:06 pm »
To be honest, the conversation isn't going in the direction I had assumed but it's nevertheless very interesting.
I've no idea how you would go about collating the data for a survey about why men pay for sex but I bet it would go some way to changing perceptions about sex workers.
I'd be really interested to speak to any of you about why you do what you do, which would challenge ideas about what a sex worker is.
If any of you want to get involved in a feature you can email me at jack.mckay@barcroftmedia.com
Many thanks!

Jenny 2

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Re: Are you working to fund your studies or future career?
« Reply #18 on: 19 March 2012, 09:24:00 am »
Well said Emily! 

On the other hand, what about those women that marry a man purely for his money?  Why not do research on them?  Oh, maybe they are also coerced into it! 

I also get vexed with this stereotyping of us.  Assuming we are doing it for various reasons and assuming we are co-erced into it. 

We have our own reasons and why the hell should we divulge that to the whole world?  It's our business and nobody else's.  We do a job, like everyone else. We provide a service, a very therapeutic one!  It keeps the world going round and it's, as the saying often says, the oldest profession in the world. 

Jenny


EmilyJones

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Re: Are you working to fund your studies or future career?
« Reply #19 on: 19 March 2012, 10:39:30 am »
To be honest, the conversation isn't going in the direction I had assumed but it's nevertheless very interesting.
I've no idea how you would go about collating the data for a survey about why men pay for sex but I bet it would go some way to changing perceptions about sex workers.
I'd be really interested to speak to any of you about why you do what you do, which would challenge ideas about what a sex worker is.
If any of you want to get involved in a feature you can email me at jack.mckay@barcroftmedia.com
Many thanks!

Considering that you've got a thread full of the real thoughts of real prostitutes right here and you're still just saying, "Oh, very interesting ladies, you have opened my eyes etc etc but I shall be still writing exactly the same article that I intended to at the start", it seems unlikely that anyone's going to be keen to get involved. I've told you exactly WHY most of us do our job. You're just not remotely interested in the answer because it's not what you're looking for.

A while ago, when I was rather more naive, I did contribute to a couple of blog articles on sex work and both times found that what I wrote was massively edited so that it fit in with the writer's original idea, when it should have been the opposite. What happened to writing in-depth, fair articles? Either you get "I'm mega sex-positive, me!" types refusing to even discuss the ickier parts of prostitution, or you get the "I'm completely narrow-minded, me!" types refusing to think of the positive aspects. Both sides are disinterested in taking a realistic, non-reactionary view.

Jack, dude, seriously. You want to do something new? Write something interesting? Meaningful? Then look at the deeper issues, read the things we've written to you here, think a bit and write a LOT. Then probably hide under the table because people will be so shocked to see something insightful in the media that they might start throwing things at you.

If not, why not just read all the other articles out there about "omg sexy sex worker does sexy sex work blowjobs sex ladies sexy outfits money boobs sex [+ total lack of analysis of any wider issues]" and do a bit of copy'n'paste to cobble together your own totally unoriginal effort? Don't come here pestering us when you've no intention of listening to us.
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sadie x

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Re: Are you working to fund your studies or future career?
« Reply #20 on: 19 March 2012, 11:01:01 am »
I totally agree emily!when its the truth its just not juicy enough!there always has to be some huge reason..
well heres a reason:there is usually no interview,or qualifications on paper needed to start escorting(if independent)if there were high executive jobs,with no interview or qualifications needed with OK pay,then people would do that also DUH!
So this man really, already knows the ansew to his own question..
So you dont need anyones help "DO YOU?"A JOB IS A JOB!!!
 :FF

bananamuffin

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Re: Are you working to fund your studies or future career?
« Reply #21 on: 19 March 2012, 11:35:20 am »
This has all made me laugh so much how this thread has developed. Do you not realise ladies, we have disappointed Jack! We are not telling him what he wanted to hear!!

It's only ok to be an escort if it's for a 'higher goal' such as getting a degree, or only understandable and looked upon kindly if you were forced into it somehow.

I think you thought Jack that this was a very simple and easy article you were going to be writing - the topic is far more detailed and complex than you've given it credit for, isn't it.

I wonder what Jack's view of sex workers is - he seems to have withdrawn when this thread hasn't gone in the way he wanted!



Mellow

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Re: Are you working to fund your studies or future career?
« Reply #22 on: 19 March 2012, 11:53:29 am »
It does make me wonder......if  you were just going to stick with your preconceptions and not take any note of our considered responses, and precisely because our responses didnt fit in with these preconceptions,  ignore them, why bother asking us in the first place?

If you want to do something different you won't do it by ignoring the reality. You can go anywhere online and find what you want, but that will just be the same tired old unoriginal rubbish churned out by most of the media. 
« Last Edit: 19 March 2012, 12:19:50 pm by Mellow »

Jackman

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Re: Are you working to fund your studies or future career?
« Reply #23 on: 19 March 2012, 04:04:29 pm »
You lot have most certainly not disappointed me. In fact I'm really impressed by the quality of responses and ideas this thread has generated.
As much as I'd like to write a groundbreaking investigative piece about the state of sex work in the UK today, I am, alas, bound by editorial constraints. I've got a boss too and I knew what I looking (hoping) to find from the off. Going by some of the comments on this thread, there are many people out there who do work to fund their studies and future careers and yes, I still would like to speak with them (if they have any interest in speaking with me). That's not to say that I don't find some of your other ideas really interesting and inspiring. And I know there are lots of other approaches I could take - I'm not ignoring them. But I'm not currently in a position where I can ditch my original intention (which is still a viable story). And sadly, yes, the juice-factor does play its part. Hey, it's the media!
As for my view of sex workers, I take people as I find them. Like I said, there's as many reasons for getting into sex work as their is to get into publishing, policing or cleaning. I'm lucky in that my job affords me the luxury of getting to ask really nosy questions to people from all walks of life and backgrounds (like your job does) so I like to think I'm pretty open and non-judgemental. I don't have a prostitute stereotype that I am aware of and I sincerely hope my ideas about your industry aren't massively wide of the mark. Please be aware though, I have only ever asked or posed questions, I have never made an assertion about a job which clearly I have no first-hand experience of.

amy

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Re: Are you working to fund your studies or future career?
« Reply #24 on: 19 March 2012, 06:43:16 pm »
Thank you Jack. I haven't posted on this thread because your brief doesn't apply to me but since that hasn't stopped anybody else, can I ask whether it had occurred to any of the members posting that at least some (and probably most) of the media enquiries in this section are posted by people who have been handed them by somebody else who is not here in order that they earn their next pay packet?

No doubt they are then sent off and told to get on and write an article/make a programme about Prossie Stereotype X by Sunday week, and get as much salacious/headline grabbing stuff in as possible etc etc - what on earth is supposed to be achieved by trying to tell them what they should be doing when they have no more control over what their employers ask them to do than anybody else in civvy street? We're the ones who are self employed and answerable to no one, and not everybody has that luxury. If they're not going to ask here, where should they ask? Do we want them ringing us up and mithering us in person? Having had the odd spate of this after I've had occasional things published in the past, I know I don't.

I'm as guilty of it as anybody else to some extent in the past at least, but I'm getting increasingly sick of every single thread that's ever posted in this section turning into the same old identikit drum-banging rant about how misunderstood we all are - I can practically recite it verbatim. I appreciate that we have a regular influx of new members for whom it is all new and interesting, but the fact is that there are ladies posting here who are working as prostitutes as a means to a definite end and probably a good few more reading - why shouldn't they have the chance to talk about their success and ambitions if they want to? I can't see any of them wanting to post in the thread now, but maybe they will get in touch (and I do hope Jack's employers are familiar with our hourly rates and the budget can stand it - our time doesn't come cheap after all). On every other section of this forum we ask members to ignore threads that annoy them or they have no interest in, and this one should be no different, although I should say that I certainly am not disagreeing with what has been said - far from it.

Jack, provided you don't expect anybody to spend their time speaking to you for free, hopefully you'll have a bit more luck via email. I don't have any higher hopes for whatever it is you're putting together than the rest of the dreck we see every day, particularly once the editors get their hands on it and render anything even remotely sensible or realistic into a shadow of it's former self, but your patience and courtesy at least is much appreciated. I will look forward to your piece and it's companions where you talk to people who are cleaning offices, doing bar work or driving taxis in order to save up money for some future endeavour, because naturally they be will following shortly afterwards.
« Last Edit: 19 March 2012, 08:03:34 pm by amy »

Mellow

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Re: Are you working to fund your studies or future career?
« Reply #25 on: 19 March 2012, 06:58:06 pm »
Yes a valid point Amy.  And its true to say Jack has been very polite, unlike some in the past.  I think the problem is exactly this, that we are so often presented with those wishing to perpetuate the media myth of prostitution that perhaps we don't take into account enough when a reasonable person presents with a certain brief.

That being said I certainly don't think I ranted or was otherwise unreasonable.  I merely answered a question of Jacks with the belief I was being helpful.  I think disagreement has to occur sometimes, this is a particularly sensitive area for a lot of people after all.

And I must admit to being skeptical that any time given would be paid!

Thank you very much!

amy

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Re: Are you working to fund your studies or future career?
« Reply #26 on: 19 March 2012, 07:09:11 pm »
And thank you too Mellow - I don't think anybody was majorly ranting, to be fair - I've just seen it all so many times before I'm getting fed up of reading it, but that's neither here nor there.

My concern is that I don't want anybody who might like to talk anonymously about how they're going to learn to make pots or start their own engineering firm, or open a B&B, or get a PHD in contemporary Tuareg to feel like they daren't say so because everybody will think they're letting the side down by pandering to the evil journos. And I do know ladies who have big plans, their stories are interesting and I don't think any demonstration of how ingenious, resourceful and determined some of us can be given the opportunity does any harm.

EmilyJones

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Re: Are you working to fund your studies or future career?
« Reply #27 on: 19 March 2012, 08:24:42 pm »
On every other section of this forum we ask members to ignore threads that annoy them or they have no interest in...

You could maybe do the same here? ;)

If we don't tell the journos who approach us that there is a more interesting story out there than just repeating prossie stereotypes, who are we going to tell? How is anything ever going to change? Is someone going to make a quick call to Murdoch and announce that us prossies are bored of being asked the same old questions repeatedly?

(I've been using escorting to pay for my education and to support me while I attempt to launch a freelance career, for the record, but Jack still ain't interested in hearing what I tell him and it's not my fault if his boss has told him to write something boring and silly. In fact, Jack's probably had more excitement here with all the grumbling and ranting than he ever has when going out to research his other articles which are probably about people seeing Jesus' face on their toast ;D or z-list celebs doing tedious things, if it's that sorta rag! And I'm not disparaging his work - but if he's doing this particular article and has been instructed to stick to the most boring of tropes then, well, you know.)

I'm pretty sure anyone who feels like chatting to a journalist is going to have emailed or PMed him already, though; a handful of in-thread ranters is hardly going to deter them. And anyway, I think this thread has been an interesting discussion and Jack's been able to remain civil because no one's been having hysterics or flinging poop, so nobody's had to get un-civil.

The overally conclusion re. Jack having to do what his boss tells him is pretty anti-climactic, though. *wanders off, changes world elsewhere*
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sadie x

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Re: Are you working to fund your studies or future career?
« Reply #28 on: 19 March 2012, 09:11:54 pm »
its said that these discussions,have been wrote about over and over again..so why they not take note and listen..its not us who should change record..Its them thats the point..

amy

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Re: Are you working to fund your studies or future career?
« Reply #29 on: 19 March 2012, 09:26:55 pm »
its said that these discussions,have been wrote about over and over again..so why they not take note and listen..its not us who should change record..Its them thats the point..

Because it isn't the people posting here who commission the bloody stories, as I was (unsuccessfully) trying to point out. Still, if everybody's enjoying themselves, by all means do get on with it - if we're going to maintain a 'flame the outsider' section we might as well give the spammers a day off now and again.

If we're not interested in the questions asked and we don't feel we have anything to contribute which is useful or relevant to the thread topic though, it is up to us to ignore it and let it gently sink without a trace without us having to have yet another thread about how rubbish the media is. Well, duh.