How not to book an escort,world championships!

[Curvygal]

What is this thing of asking which celebrity we look like?

I've had a spate of this recently. Erm I look like myself pal because I'm an individual human being?

[Rosesugar]

Why do we have to look like celebrities 

[Curvygal]

Cause that's who they wank off to I guess 

[chocoholicgirl]

I think in this twat's case it was more because he 'needed' to see what I looked like in advance. Plus to give him wank material. Plus he was a cunt.

I should have thought of somebody really rough and said that...

[Rosesugar]

I think in this twat's case it was more because he 'needed' to see what I looked like in advance. Plus to give him wank material. Plus he was a cunt.

I should have thought of somebody really rough and said that...

Lol ... Justin beiber now that would have given him a suprise !!

[jo-jo]

Phone rings.

HIM:hello, you are so sexy I wanna fuck you
ME: Would you like to make an appointment?
HIM:Yeah, if you want
ME:  what time suits you? Im available after 8pm
HIM:yeah thats ok baby i just want to fuck you and lick your feet
ME: is that a 30 minute booking at 8pm then
HIM:yeah if thats what you want
ME: Its not what I want. Its what you want. Can you let me know if the appoinment offered suits?
HIM:not sure depends on what you want

ME: hangs up. twat.

Checked him number on UM, turns out he is a serial tw/ no show. Trust  your instincts always!!

[Rosesugar]

Hi your British your mature and big I can't believe I've found you
(I cant believe he found me either ) 
I'm coming all the way from central London when u free i want 3 hours then says  I just want oral  please !!
Sorry I don't do oral sex for 3 hours
Diverts conversation away from bookimg time to ask for address  which I don't give out so easily.
Asks if do stuff that's not advertised its a red flag but he's pouring out the charm like its running out .
Says he'll check his travel arrangements , strange name for a cock he's  clearly wanking
I blocked because he has no intention of arriving just cuming 

[chocoholicgirl]

Today's gems by text

1am

Twat "Quotes my name"
Gets autoresponse
Twat "Outcall"

 

This afternoon
Twat "I want lick your pussy baby"

And saving the best for last...

This morning
Freak "Hi there how much for an hour with a teenage boy?"
 

No no no no no

[English natural beauty]

Made a booking asking for me to be submissive without taking the time to read my profile and my enjoys list. Then sends me this as his request.




I m looking forward to create a sub-slut scene. You are my sub/slave I bought from an auction. I want you to be collard with a lead. can you have suspenders on , with your posh lingerie set on. I want my sub to follow my orders , lick my body, my feet , my dick, most importantly my ass , I love getting rimmed, sub show me ur licking skill. I would like to spank hard my sub, also face slapping is my fav. Would like her to see in pain. I would like to use implements which u are comfortable. I would like my sub to be on her knees , Facefucked hard & choked & slapped , ruining her lovely makeup. Fucking her pussy & ass hard , pulling her hair ......verbal humiliation.../ calling her names ...!

She is not allowed to not follow my instructions, I would like to see your Bdsm kits , use few things , gag , blindfold , restrains , has implements, wang ., any scratcing tool....

Ok above is the rough idea , let me know if you are Oki with it. I would like loads of rimming on me,wet deep facefucking , real degradation.....& rough fucking ....!

Can you give rough idea of your location , so that I can plan ahead.

Xxxx looking forward to see u


Booking declined. He sounds like an ass.

[katrina]

So far today I've had an email from a 22 year old asking if I do hardsports 

Then a text asking for an hour at 2pm, all agreed then he asks if I do 'xtras'.. I ask what he means and he says "Anal deep throat and sex unprotected" 

Then a call asking for a quickie when I said its £50 he says ok I'll leave it!

Think its time to sack the day off 

[Rosesugar]

Email started off potentially quite nice then...
Can I cum in your pussy can u rub it in.?
No thanks .

[Hannaah]

Hi sub party

..what 

[TandPJS]

first chestnut of the morning

' hi miss i'm offering 150euros for the night, in (city not even in the same bloody department as me), i live alone in a private place"

[Curvygal]

Just when I thought I'd heard it all.

'What are your rates?'
'They start from 60'
'So, 60 to creampie your ass? How much to cream pie all 3 holes? And also I'll probably be at it for a good few hours so price ?'

 

I don't offer anal. I don't offer any unprotected services. Holes? And I don't know why the last sentence was the one that annoyed me the most but it made me want to punch hs teeth out!

[jo-jo]

Thes one that call you, You answer and they go 'You available now? ', or 'How much are you' . NOT EVEN A HELLO. That is definitely not how to book an escort, or how to speak to people. Manners cost nothing. 


OR

The ones that call you; you answer, then they hang up soon as you say hello. They then proceed to text you ---"you wanna meet?" or something similar.