SAAFE forum
General Category => Questions and Answers => Topic started by: Anon1 on 09 July 2016, 09:44:29 pm
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Has anyone done it? Has it ever been successful?
If not, how do people deal with serious dating? Do men who know you're an escort take you seriously or fuck about behind your back? Do any of you let customers know you have a OH? None of my customers know about my OH even though we've been together years.
I've started this thread after reading one about a girl whose boyfriend is finding it difficult to accept. I myself am in a full on relationship with an ex customer. This isn't a post to ask for advice or anything, as I'm just curious if there are any others out there. I've not got any escort friends and have heard rumours about a couple of girls on other forums who have ended up marrying/living with customers. Not sure if just hear say though. X x x x x x
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I've done it, we ended up getting married.
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now I'm in 9month relationship.... honestly is the best guy in long time ... but honestly in begging was hard believe ... now i can say I'm really happy put maybe i start be in position when I'm not comfortable what i do ..maybe...
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Different strokes for different folks. It works for some and not others. The last few with clients turned sour never again and would rather date a civy who don't see escorts. Double standards just the way I am.
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I've done it, we ended up getting married.
That is great! Is it because he understood it was just a job? I wonder if it's common for girls to fall for customers and for it to be successful. X x x x x x
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Different strokes for different folks. It works for some and not others. The last few with clients turned sour never again and would rather date a civy who don't see escorts. Double standards just the way I am.
I can understand that. My OH knows I escort for the money and nothing else and other than work I see no one else. So no way is he allowed to see escorts or anyone else. Not that he has ever expressed any desire to.
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I'm no pro-LTR so,.. I decided as much as men are ok as punters, I prefer space around me, I have no right to comment. If it works, then congrats to you. Civvie LTR is just as bad if they won't work..
I had civvie LTRs, I was also married 3 times, so there! Lol. Now I want my life without much baggage lol
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I can understand that. My OH knows I escort for the money and nothing else and other than work I see no one else. So no way is he allowed to see escorts or anyone else. Not that he has ever expressed any desire to.
The last one messed things up for me it took along time to break even with my business. I seem to attract the men who have a problem with in the end. There has been opportunities with clients but don't go there. Learned the hard way. :) Their money is more valuable to me, if I fancy that's what dating sites are for. Business and pleasure are separate now for me. For me clients seeing escorts is a habit for some and meeting one they could still be at it as we all know habits can be difficult to break especially a sexual one.
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That is great! Is it because it e understood it was just a job? I wonder if it's common for girls to fall for customers and for it to be successful. X x x x x x
Yes it was how he met me, however I had relationships with non clients who took the same view. It worked because it worked.
I enjoy the job, not only the money and my husband knows it so for us it's not a case of 'only for the money, I don't really like it'. That's one reason he's supportive, he can see how much I want to do it.
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In case you were wondering, why I replied on this thread. I met a punter who asked me out,well, not one punter as we always get asked whilst escorting. I kinda developed some feelings for one but I know it won't work. I often think it's sex which get men deluded to think he can have someone to himself. But if he's ok with escorting, and you feel that theLTR supports you then, why not.
Personally, no more LTR for me (I hate monogamy) but if it's working for him / ex-punter and you then congrats to you. Not my cup of tea now but whilst it works, enjoy.
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I have been seeing an ex-client for a little while now. It's not going to go anywhere long term (he's married) but I'm enjoying it while it lasts. He's a swinger and is into hot-wifing, so he loves hearing about me seeing clients (I don't give him any details, that would be a breach of trust. I just say "Wow, a punter banged me really well last night." BOOM instant erection!)
I really don't go for monogamy so I couldn't see anyone who didn't fully embrace my right to keep escorting (and his right to keep punting, if desired.)
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I have been seeing an ex-client for a little while now. It's not going to go anywhere long term (he's married) but I'm enjoying it while it lasts.He's a swinger and is into hot-wifing, so he loves hearing about me seeing clients (I don't give him any details, that would be a breach of trust. I just say "Wow, a punter banged me really well last night." BOOM instant erection!)
I really don't go for monogamy so I couldn't see anyone who didn't fully embrace my right to keep escorting (and his right to keep punting, if desired.)
Hot wifing? what is that VC?
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Hot wifing is similar to cuckolding, but without the humiliation aspect. Basically he gets off on the idea of "sharing" me with other men/women and letting them have a little taste of what he gets all the time ;)
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I take my hat of to you all for having the physical energy and mental capacity to have or sustain a relationship whether its with an ex customer or civvie. I couldn't even think about it.
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Not against the idea and have had offers of relationships with clients though I'm already in one so turned them down anyway even if I would consider it. The only negative I'd think of is how genuine they are about a relationship when our only interactions are sex I think a lot of them just like the idea of having their own personal free prostitute and once they are bored of you they'll move on.
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Not against the idea and have had offers of relationships with clients though I'm already in one so turned them down anyway even if I would consider it. The only negative I'd think of is how genuine they are about a relationship when our only interactions are sex I think a lot of them just like the idea of having their own personal free prostitute and once they are bored of you they'll move on.
I quite agree with you. Some of them are emotionally clingy, too. Thank god, I don't have to worry about this in my life's stage! ;D
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Done it a few times but didn't work well. One was cos he was married n I got sick of waiting around with everything being dependent upon what his wife's movements were. Plus he was a tight git to start with n then became utterly ridiculous but wanted everything from me. Icing on the cake was him lying to me and trying it on with swinger girls half my age. To say I was fuming was an understatement! The problem is if they're already on the escort circuit when u meet them then chances are extremely high they're keep seeing other escorts, swingers, etc too and plus they're married as it is so it's just stupid in the end. I felt like a right fool ultimately. Anyway, that was one of my experiences. I'm sure it's not the same for everyone from reading some of the above comments.
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I'm dating one of my ex punters. We're only 4 mths in and it's going well.
He's really supportive and let's me talk about my day and the way he copes with it is by separating the two people in his head.
Anna works her job and when we see each other then I'm ***** who's just his girlfriend.
He does go through 'wobbles' as he calls them but we talk about how he's feeling and I just have to give him some reassurance.
Maybe good communication and honesty is the key.
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Done it a few times but didn't work well. One was cos he was married n I got sick of waiting around with everything being dependent upon what his wife's movements were. Plus he was a tight git to start with n then became utterly ridiculous but wanted everything from me. Icing on the cake was him lying to me and trying it on with swinger girls half my age. To say I was fuming was an understatement! The problem is if they're already on the escort circuit when u meet them then chances are extremely high they're keep seeing other escorts, swingers, etc too and plus they're married as it is so it's just stupid in the end. I felt like a right fool ultimately. Anyway, that was one of my experiences. I'm sure it's not the same for everyone from reading some of the above comments.
Exactly clients can't be trusted belongs they keep paying there is some relationship other than that no way.
Many clients will keep going regardless of claiming a prize as men like the chase especially in this game. And not to say that all the escort client relationships are all hunky dory. Men are better who don't see escorts in my opinion with no taste of the game.
They can't crave what they have not had. The escort hype that is the addiction. So many struggle. Woman pirotize before sex where as men are the opposite. And will always be. Men are more so when playing the game. They are easy to work out.
Dont get me wrong clients who are respectful I love servicing. Just when it comes to dating them will never ever cross that line.
I learned over time how they really are.
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I haven't done it but if I felt I clicked with a client well enough I'd put a strict no sex for a month rule in place to make sure they weren't just after a freebie!
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I'm currently dating a client, It wasn't what either of us wanted. Obviously there is a bit of a trust issue regarding him booking other girls but as far as I'm concerned its just sex. Lots of my clients love there wives but need a shag on the side. Its meaningless nookie. He doesn't like what I do and it doesn't get talked about much. As far as hes concerned hes gets Emily( me) and the punters get Bella. Other then that we have a pretty normal relationship. Both our families know about us. So its all pretty normal. The situation doesn't seem to be a problem. If we ever argue its because he does normal twatish things that youd expect from any bloke.
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Although we had have trouble from a working girl he used to see. She forwarded me old texts he sent her. Think she missed his money. Never mind I'm spending it now lol
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Although we had have trouble from a working girl he used to see. She forwarded me old texts he sent her. Think she missed his money. Never mind I'm spending it now lol
Oh god lol! Bet she does ;D my partner has fucked all the dirty pump and dumps in my area and has had to change his number as kept getting touting messages from quite a few of them.
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I'm currently dating a client, It wasn't what either of us wanted. Obviously there is a bit of a trust issue regarding him booking other girls but as far as I'm concerned its just sex. Lots of my clients love there wives but need a shag on the side. Its meaningless nookie. He doesn't like what I do and it doesn't get talked about much. As far as hes concerned hes gets Emily( me) and the punters get Bella. Other then that we have a pretty normal relationship. Both our families know about us. So its all pretty normal. The situation doesn't seem to be a problem. If we ever argue its because he does normal twatish things that youd expect from any bloke.
Oh he still sees other escorts? My boyfriend doesn't want to, nor would I allow it. I fuck strangers for money, so unless he's getting handed dosh he can't fuck anyone else but me! :D
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No he doesn't. I just tell myself that if he did that would be why. I have complete access to his phone etc. Hes not hiding anything from me. To be honest hes so besotted with me Id be very surprised if he did. But what you don't know don't hurt. I'm so sorry he had texts etc from others, although I'm not surprised. Have you had any girls Contact you?
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No he doesn't. I just tell myself that if he did that would be why. I have complete access to his phone etc. Hes not hiding anything from me. To be honest hes so besotted with me Id be very surprised if he did. But what you don't know don't hurt. I'm so sorry he had texts etc from others, although I'm not surprised. Have you had any girls Contact you?
No, no girls have ever contacted me. Probably because he never ever re visited a girl. He never talked to the girls or cuddled etc. Just banged and then left when he came. I know my parter wouldn't cheat. If I thought he would I wouldn't be with him. How did the girl know you were with him?
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I had a slave and he used to see this woman. She couldn't offer him a domination service so he stopped seeing her but they stayed in touch. Obviously my slave new about my partner because I see my slave all the time. He mentioned in passing to this woman that he was serving me and mentioned that my partner lived in the next town from them. They got talking and she just put two and two together. She contacted me through my slave and she has even poked me on a social media site. I'm not worried though, I just upload more pic of me and him. She can have a good look at them while shes stalking me lol
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I got involved with a punter and the sexual chemistry was fantastic. But when we spent a few days together we struggled to strike up a conversation.
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That's a shame Lady of the mansion. I get bored easily, if I struggled to get a conversation out of him hed have to go. As for sex its got to the point where we can take it or leave it. Theres a 28 year age gap, I think that will kill it if anything does. If I'm honest I cant really remember him as a punter. I must have blocked him out like I do most of them lol. It was only after a few weeks when we realised we had things in common that I even took any notice of him, although he says sparks flew on the first meet. I'm an actress on a matress and bloody good at it if he thinks that lol
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Wasn't just his fault we couldn't strike a conversation. It was same with me. The only time we really chatted was when we got pissed. We just had nothing in common.
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Men are better who don't see escorts in my opinion with no taste of the game.
Woman pirotize before sex where as men are the opposite. And will always be.
This. I did see the post to say that escorts also "deserve" monogamous relationships. You can believe that as you are entitled to believe anything you want and need and you may get it in reality. However, I doubt any average Joe or Kevin would entertain the idea of such "monogamy" when escorts do find sex with punters (in strict secrecy) more exciting and fresh rather than sex in LTR from time to time. Of course, if it is an open relationship, where he can pay and fuck anyone (or even date off "match" or any other hook-up sites as he pleases also), then it's totally a different ball game. Average men would see that as only being "fair" except some magnanimous ones, who can accept escorting is only a "job" and he's not interested in sex besides his LTR with his wife or GF who's escorting.
One can only dream such modest, "monogamous" men who would consider LTR with a woman who escort and entertains multiple men whether it is a "job" or not. Most average men would expect women to drop her escorting for Him. Clearly, his priority is no longer sex in his life stage but is on friendship / emotional attachment. Women would want something unrealistic (in my book anyway) in life as well even if it's not gonna work. ;D
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Oh god lol! Bet she does ;D my partner has fucked all the dirty pump and dumps in my area and has had to change his number as kept getting touting messages from quite a few of them.
That seems a slightly odd comment to me - does he not view you as a "dirty pump and dump"...?
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lol Well spotted. ;D
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But no matter how much anyone "deserves" a monogamous relationship (I'd personally argue that nobody does, but that's beside the point) - nobody is likely to get one. The majority of people stray from just one partner.
But certainly as an escort there's no reason you should expect less from a relationship than if you were working in an office. Don't ever settle for a bloke (client or otherwise) just because you think you're not going to get anyone else.
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VC, I agree with your first point. However, not sure if you mean in your second sentence that escorting females ought to insist on monogamy? Your clarification would be superb, thank you. It sounds as if these are contradictorY? Maybe, could you explain a little to me? Thank you xx :).
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I just meant that if you desire monogamy, then you should be able to expect that - whether you're an escort or not. You shouldn't think "Oh I'd really like a bloke who only sleeps with me, but I don't think I can ask that because I escort" and then have to accept him shagging about, if that's not what you're happy with.
I don't expect or offer monogamy. The guy I'm seeing at the moment (an ex client) is married but his marriage is open and his wife sees other men too. (I have verified this!) I don't want all of him, I just want good sex and companionship, and someone who doesn't bitch about me fucking other men, so it's perfect :)
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I don't expect or offer monogamy. The guy I'm seeing at the moment (an ex client) is married but his marriage is open and his wife sees other men too. (I have verified this!) I don't want all of him, I just want good sex and companionship, and someone who doesn't bitch about me fucking other men, so it's perfect :)
Perfect till you fall for him... :)
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That seems a slightly odd comment to me - does he not view you as a "dirty pump and dump"...?
No, he doesnt or else he wouldnt be with me would he.
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No, he doesnt or else he wouldnt be with me would he.
You are referring about escorts pardon me but am I missing some thing all of a sudden you a not whoring around now sucking mutiple cocks that is funny. All mighty misses wanabe you are no better. You must be in the wrong profession. We are all respectable woman thank you. Although you get the odd one who think they are supieror living in a palace. But hey if you was filthy rich no whoring for you now back to reality.
Your so called love has been with escorts before meeting you yes the so called ones. What a joke this is laughing all the way here chilling out with my glass of wine. :)
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Thank you so much, VC. xxx :) :-*
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You are referring about escorts pardon me but am I missing some thing all of a sudden you a not whoring around now sucking mutiple cocks that is funny. All mighty misses wanabe you are no better. You must be in the wrong profession. We are all respectable woman thank you. Although you get the odd one who think they are supieror living in a palace. But hey if you was filthy rich no whoring for you now back to reality.
Your so called love has been with escorts before meeting you yes the so called ones. What a joke this is laughing all the way here chilling out with my glass of wine. :)
Lol! Hilarious. Pump and dumps are the girls with pimps who you fuck and then as soon as you've cum your kicked out. :D
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Lol! Hilarious. Pump and dumps are the girls with pimps who you fuck and then as soon as you've cum your kicked out. :D
Bravo to your fellas bad choice of escorts. But still the ones with pimps are sadly controlled this still makes you no better. Not only the escorts with pimps do that.
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Perfect till you fall for him... :)
I think it's a difficult one. It's probably genetic to want your man to be into you forever. I know it's a delusion. When he finds it hard to meet the expectations, then the same old lies and deception hit home. But I digress.
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Lol! Hilarious. Pump and dumps are the girls with pimps who you fuck and then as soon as you've cum your kicked out. :D
Rude, snobbish remarks about other sex workers are most certainly not 'hilarious' and nor will they be tolerated here.
The women you are talking about suck and fuck for money just like you, I and virtually everybody else here - how long punters stay with them does nothing to alter that. We have people here who choose to pay pimps too; that's their business, and it doesn't make them better or worse prostitutes than anybody else.
If you're going to be condescending, it helps a lot to be in a position from which to condescend.
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I think it's a difficult one. It's probably genetic to want your man to be into you forever. I know it's a delusion. When he finds it hard to meet the expectations, then the same old lies and deception hit home. But I digress.
Funnily enough I was just thinking about that this morning. I think maybe there's an element of that when you have kids with someone, or want kids with them. Subconsciously you want them to stay at least long enough to protect you and the kids until they're grown. It's all a bit caveman, but you're right about the genetic thing.
Since my son grew up, and I can't have any more (wouldn't want to at this age anyway) the appeal of monogamy has really dwindled for me.
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Funnily enough I was just thinking about that this morning. I think maybe there's an element of that when you have kids with someone, or want kids with them. Subconsciously you want them to stay at least long enough to protect you and the kids until they're grown. It's all a bit caveman, but you're right about the genetic thing.
Since my son grew up, and I can't have any more (wouldn't want to at this age anyway) the appeal of monogamy has really dwindled for me.
VC, thank you for sharing your amazing insights. The appeal of monogamy did majorly lapse in my case, too. Looking back, I only remember all kinds of trouble my previous LTRs brought me. :'( ::) You're so right about "caveman" instinct. I agree 100%! I find that all LTRs have its sell by date.
Of course, this isn't meant to dismiss all the LTRs where two people are happy with each other or at least they consider that their relationship is "happy enough". :)
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When I was having an affair with an ex client who was with somebody he got a seperate phone for me. Only I know he didn't use for just me. It ran out of credit far too quickly.
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Well spotted. If you had ever looked on his mobile...
Based on my firm belief, they tend to chase anything which moves or which has a pulse. They might be having an affair but he may well be having others going (off hook-up sites / dating sites / god knows what else) as well as porn sites, wife, female colleagues at work etc. ::)
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I dated an ex client. He turned out to be an emotionally unavailable, selfish, manipulative prick.
:)
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I dated an ex client. He turned out to be an emotionally unavailable, selfish, manipulative prick.
:)
Exactly the same happened with me, I would never ever date a client again, it was one of the biggest mistakes of my life.
It does seem to work out well for some people though, but for me no way.
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Not against the idea and have had offers of relationships with clients though I'm already in one so turned them down anyway even if I would consider it. The only negative I'd think of is how genuine they are about a relationship when our only interactions are sex I think a lot of them just like the idea of having their own personal free prostitute and once they are bored of you they'll move on.
Agreed.
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I know there are exceptions to this rule (as some on this thread have proven...being married etc to ex clients). However, I read a quote once that said a relationship will end where it begins and I think there is truth in that in the escort/client relationship. In other words, generally, if you meet your man in a context by which he is in control of what occurs to a greater extent, then what's the likelihood he will be the type of man who is willing to engage in an equal relationship? In my experience, the client I fell for wanted it to remain on his terms.
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Exactly the same happened with me, I would never ever date a client again, it was one of the biggest mistakes of my life.
It does seem to work out well for some people though, but for me no way.
Add to that compulsive liar, stalker and thief (when I kicked his sad ass out of my house/life he kept sneaking back in stealing all sorts of things until I had my locks changed :-)
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Lol! Hilarious. Pump and dumps are the girls with pimps who you fuck and then as soon as you've cum your kicked out. :D
Technically we are all 'pump and dumps' as you put it, you're a hooker and your clients fuck you then leave and go back to their wives, we are all in the same boat .
Your boyfriend sounds like a right catch.
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Some have fannies paved with gold lol.
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Exactly the same happened with me, I would never ever date a client again, it was one of the biggest mistakes of my life.
It does seem to work out well for some people though, but for me no way.
Selfish, manipulative, emotionally available... Add, wanting freebies from escorts.
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Exactly the same happened with me, I would never ever date a client again, it was one of the biggest mistakes of my life.
It does seem to work out well for some people though, but for me no way.
But how many clients have you dated?
I mean, I could say "every marriage I've had has failed. Men who want to get married are total arses!" and I'd be pulling from a sample size of one :D
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Well I'm with an ex punter and have been for 2 years now.All going well and not even a hint that he wants to go back to punting.He punted now and then when his marriage was on it's last legs and his wife had been refusing any intimacy (including cuddles)for years.He is very devoted,affectionate,kind and loving and has never given me any reason to think he would stray be it paid or unpaid.So yes it is possibl to meet,fall in love and have a good relationship with an ex punter although in fairness he only saw me on a paid booking twice.He was a regular of several close sex worker mates of mine.We met up again in a civvy capacity.and that's when we were able to be ourselves and we really hit it off.
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Selfish, manipulative, emotionally available... Add, wanting freebies from escorts.
Don't you think that describes alot of people in general regardless of whether they have in the past or currently buy sex?
Yes you get deluded clients that get mixed up with the paid scene being dating but you do get the odd genuine case of mutual feelings and it can work out well for both parties.
You both have to go in with eyes open though and properly date not just basically have unpaid bookings.
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But how many clients have you dated?
I mean, I could say "every marriage I've had has failed. Men who want to get married are total arses!" and I'd be pulling from a sample size of one :D
The question should be 'how many clients have I fallen in love with, welcomed into my home/life/my family: The answer is one and it was a mistake because once you start mixing business with private life it becomes blurred. I always said that I wouldn't get emotionally involved with clients because I just knew it would lead to problems...clients search us out for what they're looking for then come to us with their needs/wants/desires and we do what they want in that time because they're paying, that's simple hassle free but once you step over that line everything changes and eventually over time his true personality came through and it wasn't sex he was using me for it was for something far more complex. I knew deep down at the time that I was making a wrong choice but ignored my instincts, so once bitten twice shy :)
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I just knew it would lead to problems...clients search us out for what they're looking for then come to us with their needs/wants/desires and we do what they want in that time because they're paying, that's simple hassle free but once you step over that line everything changes and eventually over time his true personality came through and it wasn't sex he was using me for it was for something far more complex.
I agree with you, katrina. I'm so sorry to hear that. :'( :-\ Hugs xxx
Bibi, thank you for sharing. I'm pleased that things are working well for you. :-*
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In my experience, the client I fell for wanted it to remain on his terms.
yup. It seems that is often the case. Nods. :)
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This is always such a two sided coin because although I have in the past vehemently defended my opinion that a punter will always be a punter I have recently witnessed one of my 'friends' in the industry who has fallen for a punter.
It would appear they are very happy and he is smitten/faithful so maybe I have rushed into judgement in the past, however he could cheat/punt again at any time and my friend is more than aware of this, old habits do die hard after all.
I still stand by the opinion that I would not ever date a client myself whether I stay married or if I find myself single and I do not think that they are the answer when looking for long-lasting relationships. But that's just my opinion.
I wish my friend and anyone else who is attempting to have relationships with clients a happy future.
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It would appear they are very happy and he is smitten/faithful so maybe I have rushed into judgement in the past, however, he could cheat/punt again at any time and my friend is more than aware of this, old habits do die hard after all.
I think it's easy to have such a nice relationship during the "honeymoon period" / falling in love stage where you only see the promise of their future together. After that sweet stage had gone passed, the laws of the "relationship" still apply to anybody (whether you are escorts or not) e.g. compatibility, personality, how he/she could handle the day to day reality / stress, how will he react when monogamous sex is no longer so fresh / exciting, etc. Mother used to say, "there is no eternal love". I would rephrase, there's no eternal "romance" - the initial falling in love stage does not last. There are loads of men, who would confuse "love" with some exciting sex / fun and romantic nights out and in. People do get ill, so as escorts. Will he be there if you became ill? Will he move onto the next glamorous escort, telling her "his wife won't give him any sex at home"? These may be worth thinking. You could be the next "wife / GF" who won't give him sex at home. History can repeat itself.
It all depends on what you are looking for in an LTR or if you actually want LTR e.g. investing time, energy what else? Pressure from society? Most of us, mature ladies had done all that a few times already and wore our T-shirt. I often think "I got better things to do" whenever I get asked out. Do I want to go away on a holiday with him / Do I want to spend the whole week with him? We all learn from our past mistakes. Having said that, though, wanting love is probably part of our female DNA (what makes us human). If "romance" is working out, just enjoy. Make the most of it. But it's always useful to be realistic about 'Men'.
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Everyone can cheat at any time, just as everyone can come off "off" it, honestly. Speaking from a PoV of previously unrepentant cheater who stopped doing so after I found a man I actually care about proper.
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Everyone can cheat at any time, just as everyone can come off "off" it, honestly. Speaking from a PoV of previously unrepentant cheater who stopped doing so after I found a man I actually care about proper.
Me too, took till in my late 30s to be faithful.
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There are different reasons as to why people cheat depending on the gender. Men cheat for physical reasons e.g. high sex drive, even, just want a different body to try, fantasies.etc.. women cheat for "emotional reasons". I know this post is not entirely escorting related ::) Sorry, Amy xx
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There are different reasons as to why people cheat depending on the gender. Men cheat for physical reasons e.g. high sex drive, even, just want a different body to try, fantasies.etc.. women cheat for "emotional reasons". I know this post is not entirely escorting related ::) Sorry, Amy xx
There are many exceptions to this. The male/female thing is not so black and white.
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They are rare to come by but still would have more % with a non client. Who has not been a male slag. :) Yes my standards are very high and if i choose this way it is up to me. Although know someones bound to disagree.
But like the ones who are a one woman man. No chance of that with clients they are born swingers regardless. Each to thier own and agree with newbies posts.
Be very cautious when dating clients.
Instead join a dating site that way you know if they like you for you not the escort. Which was the first attraction. Meaning less pressure to act up with the personna. :) And you can be as picky as you want because many guys show interest. That way you get to know them properly and if they like you alot you will know it is because of a deeper level. :)
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Instead join a dating site that way you know if they like you for you not the escort. Which was the first attraction. Meaning less pressure to act up with the personna. :) And you can be as picky as you want because many guys show interest. That way you get to know them properly and if they like you alot you will know it is because of a deeper level. :)
I agree if you want an LTR and especially if monogamy is important then a dating site would be the way to go. But at what point do you have that convo "BTW I'm a sex worker"? I wouldn't want to invest the time into a guy who then couldn't handle the idea ...
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There are different reasons as to why people cheat depending on the gender. Men cheat for physical reasons e.g. high sex drive, even, just want a different body to try, fantasies.etc.. women cheat for "emotional reasons". I know this post is not entirely escorting related ::) Sorry, Amy xx
I don't know why you're apologising to me personally, since I'm unlikely to be the only person who finds this sort of rampant sexism and gender stereotyping breathtakingly offensive?
If this has been your experience then that's a real shame, but ideas like these belong in the nineteenth century, and we won't tolerate them here. I can't honestly tell whether it's more insulting to men or women, and I'm not sure I care. Please stop it.
For what it's worth, three people I know have broken up with long term partners in the last couple of years and in every case it was the woman who was playing away. It's easy as a prossie to think that lots of men cheat on their partners, but that's because we meet the ones who do far more often than the ones who don't - they don't book us :).
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I agree if you want an LTR and especially if monogamy is important then a dating site would be the way to go. But at what point do you have that convo "BTW I'm a sex worker"? I wouldn't want to invest the time into a guy who then couldn't handle the idea ...
It is more challenging in the sense of taking a risk before any of our emotions get involved. If he goes then no hurt. I can only now start properly as am slowly making plans to depart. :) When you met the one and he reciprocates you won't be bothered to much if at all with one missed booking. Especially when they let you in their life so you know its true. I used to be the same but only with dating clients to pay to date me. :) After a few experiences and advice I made my choice. I deserve respect and the only way I would get this is out of escorting. I'm talking about all the wanker guys time wasters- complicated mentally ones who are so lost within themselves.
*Geez!! that felt good saying.* :)
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They are rare to come by but still would have more % with a non client. Who has not been a male slag. :) Yes Although know someones bound to disagree.
But like the ones who are a one woman man. No chance of that with clients they are born swingers regardless. Be very cautious when dating clients.
I think it's normal to disagree on a discussion forum as you say but I agree with you! "Born swingers" - this.
It's something to do with the DNA. There is no mystery there. There are those who stay with one "mate" and those who are called "serial monogamists". . .
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For me its not really anything to do with the infidelity part of it, anyone man or woman can do that regardless of whether they pay or charge for sex...Its the fact the clients first impression of the escort is the persona on her advert...In real life its not always matching to the real person. Clients by the very nature of the business are only thinking of themselves (nothing wrong with that, so am I when visiting my hairdresser I want to talk about my hair and have her full attention on my hair needs and nothing else whilst I'm paying) So when you stop charging and it being a 'relationship' often these traits and ideas about the escort and the customers needs are still with the client.
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I agree with you, katrina (as always). Sex-based relationship or any LTR based on "sex" as No 1 priority has its limits.
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But at what point do you have that convo "BTW I'm a sex worker"? I wouldn't want to invest the time into a guy who then couldn't handle the idea ...
Usually at the point of genuinely liking and feeling comfortable with that person enough to think its worth telling them? What makes you think that a client is more likely to accept escorting as a career choice rather than someone who you meet outside of this work?
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What makes you think that a client is more likely to accept escorting as a career choice rather than someone who you meet outside of this work?
Most punters wouldn't ever dream of stop punting. Having an escort GF is a passport to this "lifestyle". "she does it, I do it, too". Or, "don't disrespect me by continuing to work as an escort whilst I may still be punting behind your back and I will definitely keep my punting phone."
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At least with a client, they have experience of sex workers and aren't likely to hold the same prejudices about us: that we're all drug users, work on the streets, have pimps, and/or are too stupid or unqualified to get a "real job".
Not that some punters don't have those preconceptions too, but if you've got to the point of considering a relationship, then I'd hope you've dispelled those myths already!
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VC
An optimist!! ;D :)
But it's nice to read the positive note on an otherwise "controversial" topic. :-* :D
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We're all different.
Some of the clients I've had I'd happily have a relationship with them. I've always loved random sex with strangers so I'm all for the swinger lifestyle, however most swingers are not even slightly attractive so I don't really bother with the scene.
I'd rather "see how it goes" with a client - who may potentially be turned on having a girlfriend/wife who has a secret escort job, than having to admit or lie forever about whoring myself to thousands of men.
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At least with a client, they have experience of sex workers and aren't likely to hold the same prejudices about us: that we're all drug users, work on the streets, have pimps, and/or are too stupid or unqualified to get a "real job".
Not that some punters don't have those preconceptions too, but if you've got to the point of considering a relationship, then I'd hope you've dispelled those myths already!
That's a fallacy though isn't it, a guy who has never booked escorts is no more likely to think any less of the woman he's supposed to be in love with whatever she chooses to do. In my situation with the client I laid my cards on the table (as you do when you start a LTR) But he never did, in ALL of my other previous relationships I've known every aspect of them (and them about me) no hidden agendas or secrets and even though they were by no means perfect, far from it I stayed 'friends' with all of them. Because it was all open and clear, with the client it wasn't.
This might seem a bit trivial but I should have realised his REAL feelings when 6 months into the 'relationship' my close escort friend bought me a butter dish for my birthday (not just any old present this was a special one that kept it at the right temperature, she put a lot of thought into that, spent time finding just the right one for me) He thought it was hilarious, "One prostitute buys her prostitute friend a butter dish for a birthday present!" I questioned him why he thought that was so funny, aren't us prostitutes meant to eat or live very normal lives then??!!!
Anyway he managed to keep his real opinions on my job quiet for 4 years then eventually when it suited him it was that old chestnut: Well you're having sex with other men.
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I think the secret is is to 'date' any potential client boyfriends for a while without sex. If they go along with that then they are into *you* not just after freebies.
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I think the secret is is to 'date' any potential client boyfriends for a while without sex. If they go along with that then they are into *you* not just after freebies.
Its not just sex though is it, we can all spot a freebie hunter type of client wants to go out 'for a drink' really meaning he wants a free shag lol
Its the relationship seekers, the sneaky time thieves, clients who claim to want the same things when really they just want someone to dump all their emotional baggage onto without really giving anything back. So this is why I would never get involved with a client again, I'm not prepared to take any more chances with my time.
I'm sure there are lots of other escorts who have genuine good relationships with people they've met through work and I wish them all the best.
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Beware of charming men / charming punters. They are not what they seem. My ex wasn't a punter, he charmed his way into the hearts of a catalogue of females of all types who fell for him. Katrina, it sounds like your ex dropped hints here and there 6 months into the relationship but you didn't think he had such a strong negative opinion about whoring? This does happen to me. When we are romantically involved and things seem to be fine, we tend to believe all is well when there were hidden cracks underneath. I had to learn to pay attention and decipher when a man says something.
Generally, no more men problems in my life, either. Going out for daytime coffee / meet up to network with male friends but no more dating or falling into LTR ::) it will kill me! Escorting is far more rewarding compared to LTR. Clearly, if you succeeded in escorting and LTR, you have my congrats. Xx
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All I can say that currently it is going very well with a one woman man. I'm coming out of escorting any way. He adores me. :) No clients in my personal life. He is very supportive and loving. Things are heating up. :)I'm loving it big time. Most clients are complicated. Clients prefer whoring themselves. Beware of the client chatting you up. Remember how he met you in the first place. It's all about the foundation.
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Beware of charming men / charming punters. They are not what they seem. My ex wasn't a punter, he charmed his way into the hearts of a catalogue of females of all types who fell for him. Katrina, it sounds like your ex dropped hints here and there 6 months into the relationship but you didn't think he had such a strong negative opinion about whoring? This does happen to me. When we are romantically involved and things seem to be fine, we tend to believe all is well when there were hidden cracks underneath. I had to learn to pay attention and decipher when a man says something.
Generally, no more men problems in my life, either. Going out for daytime coffee / meet up to network with male friends but no more dating or falling into LTR ::) it will kill me! Escorting is far more rewarding compared to LTR. Clearly, if you succeeded in escorting and LTR, you have my congrats. Xx
I would love the clients charming me up belongs they pay my fee. :) And they come back.:)
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;D ;D ;D
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I know there are exceptions to this rule (as some on this thread have proven...being married etc to ex clients). However, I read a quote once that said a relationship will end where it begins and I think there is truth in that in the escort/client relationship. In other words, generally, if you meet your man in a context by which he is in control of what occurs to a greater extent, then what's the likelihood he will be the type of man who is willing to engage in an equal relationship? In my experience, the client I fell for wanted it to remain on his terms.
Omg you are so right!
I started a relationship with a client over 6 years ago. Much older than me but we really hit it off - in and out of the bedroom!
Everything was going fine for the first few months - we were smitten however then something went badly wrong and on 2 occasions which were a couple of weeks apart, because he was uncomfortable with a situation and didn't make me aware of this he dealt with it himself and his way of dealing with it was to see an escort! I was absolutely devastated when I found out and things were never the same after. Brought on a ton of trust issues that have never left.
After that he decided a proper LTR was never going to be for him, not with me or anyone....well he likes the company, regular sex etc... but doesn't want things to move on. He's quite happy with us both living separately and it never being anything more. We see each other every week and for him that's enough. I came to the conclusion that I would rather have this than nothing and that I was happy with us staying in the "dating" stage of a relationship whilst it's also enabling me to continue in this line of work. However one big thing is that eventually I want more and I know he wont/can't give this to me!
I have become too involved and comfortable and the thought of stating afresh with someone new fills me with dread but I don't want to be a spinster all my life! I'm in my mid 30's with no kids and if it's not to late I would like the chance of "settling down" with someone and having a family....BUT it's easier said than done. It's all too easy with ex-client guy - we have a great time together, go on holidays, meals out and rarely argue. It's like a normal relationship but it isn't!
So yeah it's on his terms and when it ends he'll happily go back to punting to fulfil his needs!
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In other words, generally, if you meet your man in a context by which he is in control of what occurs to a greater extent, then what's the likelihood he will be the type of man who is willing to engage in an equal relationship?
Well this may or may not be the case, but it doesn't apply here anyway because the punter doesn't have the greater control over what occurs in a booking - we do?
Unless there are people here who allow punters to decide their prices, their services, their working hours, booking procedures and so on including whether the booking even happens. If there are, I don't remember ever reading any of their posts.
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I think Shewolf is referring to clients booking us exactly when they want to - when they feel the urge. The pick up and put it down whenever they feel like it approach with no strings which they could then carry through to a relationship. So in that respect they are in control and may find it difficult to relinquish that when it comes to being in a LTR where compromises have to be made and someone else to consider
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Well yes and no. They still can't book when we're not available no matter whether they want to or not?
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No but there's always someone who is available!
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Then the punter would either book them, or instead wait until you/I were available o possibly both. I don't think many people are dumping their partner and getting a new one just because they can't go to the pictures with them on Tuesday night :).
I suspect that people who've got used to being at a partner's beck and call and sitting around waiting to be summoned are going to attract the people that would appeal to irrespective of their occupation, to be honest.
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Omg you are so right!
I started a relationship with a client over 6 years ago. Much older than me but we really hit it off - in and out of the bedroom!
Everything was going fine for the first few months - we were smitten however then something went badly wrong and on 2 occasions which were a couple of weeks apart, because he was uncomfortable with a situation and didn't make me aware of this he dealt with it himself and his way of dealing with it was to see an escort! Brought on a ton of trust issues that have never left.
After that he decided a proper LTR was never going to be for him, not with me or anyone....well he likes the company, regular sex etc... but doesn't want things to move on. He's quite happy with us both living separately and it never being anything more. We see each other every week and for him that's enough. I came to the conclusion that I would rather have this than nothing and that I was happy with us staying in the "dating" stage of a relationship whilst it's also enabling me to continue in this line of work. However one big thing is that eventually I want more and I know he wont/can't give this to me!
BUT it's easier said than done. It's all too easy with ex-client guy - we have a great time together, go on holidays, meals out and rarely argue. It's like a normal relationship but it isn't!
So yeah it's on his terms and when it ends he'll happily go back to punting to fulfil his needs!
kate x This is some sort of "LTR" for convenience" to him and to you. Some people stay in unhappy LTR/unhappy marriage for convenience. Both of you knew this wasn't right but stayed because you are not sure what you will get if you lose this one.
Were you introduced to his parents (if they are still alive?). If not, essentially, you are still his free whore (young, pretty but a little "easy to manipulate" and "she does what he suggests her to do"). This man you say, who's a lot older. Presumably, divorced or always single who already has his life and had LTRs in the past, never want another. Essentially, no strings. A Relationship with benefits. Escort "friend" who comes along to his holidays and dining out to keep him company and happy to provide sex as an adoring GF. An Ideal situation for any Men who would want a casual relationship. In a way, you are still his escort but if you are not getting paid, Personally, MOVE ON. He saw another escort. It's a clear signal that you are just "a girl / escort" who's willing to make all the compromises whilst he can do as he pleases. Cut the loss and move on. You deserve better than that.
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I suspect that people who've got used to being at a partner's beck and call and sitting around waiting to be summoned are going to attract the people that would appeal to irrespective of their occupation, to be honest.
I agree. :)
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That's why to maximise chances find them in the right setting. :) For example let's say I fell in love with some one in prison for a bad crime and expected all roses. It's just isn't going to happen. Lived and learned with clients came out the other side. It is what it is. :) It's unrealistic expecting clients to whisk you away in to a romance.
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kate x This is some sort of "LTR" for convenience" to him and to you. Some people stay in unhappy LTR/unhappy marriage for convenience. Both of you knew this wasn't right but stayed because you are not sure what you will get if you lose this one.
Were you introduced to his parents (if they are still alive?). If not, essentially, you are still his free whore (young, pretty but a little "easy to manipulate" and "she does what he suggests her to do"). This man you say, who's a lot older. Presumably, divorced or always single who already has his life and had LTRs in the past, never want another. Essentially, no strings. A Relationship with benefits. Escort "friend" who comes along to his holidays and dining out to keep him company and happy to provide sex as an adoring GF. An Ideal situation for any Men who would want a casual relationship. In a way, you are still his escort but if you are not getting paid, Personally, MOVE ON. He saw another escort. It's a clear signal that you are just "a girl / escort" who's willing to make all the compromises whilst he can do as he pleases. Cut the loss and move on. You deserve better than that.
Yes I know his parents and rest of the family. His father has now passed away, I went to his funeral and I'm involved in a lot of the family stuff.
I believe our relationship is more than just like a escort/client one. He's been a guarantor for me when I've rented places and helped financially when I've needed it, been there through the good and bad, including when my mum passed away 3 years ago, looked after me when I had an operation and overall he does care for me and me him, just not in the "love the pants off you want to be together forever" kind of way!
He's never been married but was in one LTR that went sour, that's put him off for good but we do both get something out of this. Remember this suits me as well - at the moment.
I'm under no illusion as to what this is but for the time being it's more valuable to me to keep him on for company (including having sex with someone I actually want to do it with!) and to continue working as when I get with someone else for a "proper" relationship (living together, having kids etc...) for me personally it wouldn't feel right for me to continue doing this line of work.
Btw I'm at no-ones beck and call and even though this situation ultimately suits him he also fits in with my lifestyle and if/when I want to change it I will
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Whatever float your boat, Miss ;D ;D
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Whatever float your boat, Miss ;D ;D
Yes its each to their own, the situation obviously suits the previous poster so its all good.
From what I hear about from some of my non escort friends relationships I would not tolerate ANY of that sort of stuff that they tell me about but they carry on day in day out playing happy families....I've become less tolerant to what I will put up with off men, but then I'm not in any position to give relationship advice to anyone really lmao ;D
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I have no desire to be dating anybody whether it be a client or civvie. Ain't worth the hassle.
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That's why to maximise chances find them in the right setting. :) For example let's say I fell in love with some one in prison for a bad crime and expected all roses. It's just isn't going to happen. Lived and learned with clients came out the other side. It is what it is. :) It's unrealistic expecting clients to whisk you away in to a romance.
Romance is the easiest part. LTR has its harsh reality lol :-\
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I met my husband just over 5 years ago, he had booked me for an overnight booking and I ended up staying an extra 2 days with him (FOC of course) and the relationship developed from there and there has never been an issue with what I do
I am also very close to a guy that I had an arrangement with, the arrangement lasted around 3 years but we stayed friends after and still see each other on a fairly regular basis. I can't imagine him not in my life
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I have no desire to be dating anybody whether it be a client or civvie. Ain't worth the hassle.
Same here, I think the last one put me off because he was the most emotionally needy person that I've ever met.
And anyway I've have no shortage of male company also I actually prefer waking up with my 3 cats curled up on the bottom of my bed than next to a man with a hard on lol :)
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Romance is the easiest part. LTR has its harsh reality lol :-\
This guy I'm with it is flowing and coming together nicely. It's all about the right match. But am more than happy he is a one woman man. :)
Like I said before chances with clients are slim you would have better with a one woman man who has no history of swinging like sex is going out of fashion. Clients behave a certain way compared to non clients messing you about. Well I scored big with my one woman man. :) Just the way I like it. :)
Any way the way most clients go on. Isn't attractive to me I just see clients as just that nothing more or less. They pay my wage that's all.
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4 years and still happy. We live apart (exactly what I want) he hasn't met my family (exactly what I want), when we go out he pays for everything (exactly what I want), he completely respects my job and thinks I have a valid place in society (which is exactly what I want).
I think girls can get fucked over and used for sex regardless of their profession, also if the woman has money she might get fucked over, that's a relationship issue and not solely a working girl issue.
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4 years and still happy. We live apart (exactly what I want) he hasn't met my family (exactly what I want), when we go out he pays for everything (exactly what I want), he completely respects my job and thinks I have a valid place in society (which is exactly what I want).
I think girls can get fucked over and used for sex regardless of their profession, also if the woman has money she might get fucked over, that's a relationship issue and not solely a working girl issue.
Yep.
The meeting parents thing is interesting. I find that whole thing very old fashioned, my acid test is do you become involved in each others lives, do you introduce each other to friends and colleagues?Parent meeting can come at any time - at one time I'd rush home with my latest boyfriend etc, then I learned it's better not to be forced, just go with the flow and get the relationship established first.
Current husband and only husband so far was a client, and is totally devoted to me. Just because he once paid for sex, doesn't mean he will do again - or would do without telling me. I know that a lot of women just don't know their partner pays for sex, so you could argue that I'm in a stronger position because I do know.
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Most punters wouldn't ever dream of stop punting. Having an escort GF is a passport to this "lifestyle". "she does it, I do it, too". Or, "don't disrespect me by continuing to work as an escort whilst I may still be punting behind your back and I will definitely keep my punting phone."
Nope not my experience.
Some (quite a few) clients pay for sex because of their personal situation, many would rather their home life be quite different (and they may be single or otherwise), but it's not and paying for sex is another way to obtain affection and/or sex. It's easy to assume all men want easy sex, at some point in their lives most people of both genders probably do, it's not only a male thing. Everyone is an individual, with individual needs and wants - need for love and affection I'd say is pretty much universal whether or not you are aware of it.
I was a cold hard, lets have some impersonal sex, that'll show how strong I am type person - and in a relationship my dismissive side is very strong, any partner has a tough time with me, hell I have a tough time with me too!
The media love to typecast both sex worker and client, let's not us do it too!
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Some guys only punt when not in a relationship, I have regulars who I see regularly for a few months then nothing for 6 months or so while they are busy dating.
If a guy is a serial punter, he will punt if he's in a relationship or not.................not ....................he's going to punt because he's in a relationship with an escort, if that makes sence. If he's monogamous hes monogamous, if he's not then he's not.
Swinging is a completely different thing and has nothing to do with punting, unless the guy is into both
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Some guys only punt when not in a relationship, I have regulars who I see regularly for a few months then nothing for 6 months or so while they are busy dating.
If a guy is a serial punter, he will punt if he's in a relationship or not.................not ....................he's going to punt because he's in a relationship with an escort, if that makes sence. If he's monogamous hes monogamous, if he's not then he's not.
Swinging is a completely different thing and has nothing to do with punting, unless the guy is into both
That was my way of putting it across ok clients don't swing they whore themselves about. They swing with numerous people just they pay for it. No difference there sex is sex. Having a gf doesn't change who they are. Still I wouldn't touch a client unless they paid me. I choose to set my standards high. No matter what they are not bf material never will be. That is why the failing rate with them is high compared. You read about it here.
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It's sounds like you don't like your clients, or to you they can only ever be one dimension?
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It can sound how it likes to you. You can assume what you want. This is about dating customers is it not?. Actually I have many regulars. So of course many enjoy. I would rather date some guy where it would bother him. You believe what you choose so do I. I have my firm beliefs and prefer guys who don't punt or sleep around. That is up to me. Clients are good I service them nicely. I have no negatives in my escorting. So does that answer your comment.
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Not all men who punt are cheaters.
Many punters are lonely, divorced, widowed or with sick partners who they don't want to bother for sex especially the more mature clients I entertain. Some men of course are just rampant sex beasts who would fuck whatever they can get their hands on and couldn't stay faithful to save their life but that's them. Dating a punter my first thought would be is he wanting free sex? Once that's settled I don't see the problem especially if he is ok with me working. I'm not looking to date ect but I wouldn't discriminate against a nice guy who I fancied because he's a punter.
I don't think punters cheat on their partners any more than non punters.
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That was my way of putting it across ok clients don't swing they whore themselves about. They swing with numerous people just they pay for it. No difference there sex is sex. Having a gf doesn't change who they are. Still I wouldn't touch a client unless they paid me. I choose to set my standards high. No matter what they are not bf material never will be. That is why the failing rate with them is high compared. You read about it here.
I get where you are coming from. I wouldn't date a client either. Just not attracted to old men. lol. Plus, there is just something about a man that has paid me for sex that is an instant turn off. So even if they were around my age it still wouldn't happen. Plus, I much prefer to get to know someone first before having sex with them. Hence why in my private my life I could never date someone who I've shagged without getting to know. So if i barely know you and we've shagged we can't date lol ;D I let my guys wait three months for it. Kinda feel like a hypocrite when I'm busy shagging baboons but I don't enjoy the sex and just do it for the money so.... :P
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It can sound how it likes to you. You can assume what you want. This is about dating customers is it not?. Actually I have many regulars. So of course many enjoy. I would rather date some guy where it would bother him. You believe what you choose so do I. I have my firm beliefs and prefer guys who don't punt or sleep around. That is up to me. Clients are good I service them nicely. I have no negatives in my escorting. So does that answer your comment.
Me too :)
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sorry posted twice
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One thing that seems to come up regularly when we talk about dating customers is the question of 'does he want free sex?' My thought is, don't all men in a relationship want free sex? Sure they pay for it with dinners, cinema etc, but basically the girls are giving it away because they like the guy they are with..................What's the difference with us?
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One thing that seems to come up regularly when we talk about dating customers is the question of 'does he want free sex?' My thought is, don't all men in a relationship want free sex? Sure they pay for it with dinners, cinema etc, but basically the girls are giving it away because they like the guy they are with..................What's the difference with us?
I have always had sex with men because I wanted to, not because they took me out. Quite a few partners didn't take me out, sometimes I was the one doing the taking out, buying things for. Even if they do it's still not because they carry the financial weight.
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One thing that seems to come up regularly when we talk about dating customers is the question of 'does he want free sex?' My thought is, don't all men in a relationship want free sex? Sure they pay for it with dinners, cinema etc, but basically the girls are giving it away because they like the guy they are with..................What's the difference with us?
What I personally mean is if he wants a proper relationship with me as my bona fide BF firstly as he wouldn't be my punter anymore he would be bound by my no sex until I'm sure I want to be in this relationship with him and so he'd have to prove himself.
I don't like giving away sex unless its with a man who I see a future with or its being paid for by a punter.
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What I personally mean is if he wants a proper relationship with me as my bona fide BF firstly as he wouldn't be my punter anymore he would be bound by my no sex until I'm sure I want to be in this relationship with him and so he'd have to prove himself.
I don't like giving away sex unless its with a man who I see a future with or its being paid for by a punter.
Whereas my view of sex has always been different - I liked to make sure we were physically compatible, and get that bit out of the way first. It was never a holding it back, keeping it for commitment thing. I was brought up and taught the opposite, but when I got down to it and really fancied someone my physical side always won!
So dating a customer I'd already gotten the sex out of the way, which suited me down to the ground.
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As Helen says, punters punt for different reasons - including loneliness or being widowed - so there's no reason some of them wouldn't make a good partner.
MD - IIRC it wasn't that long ago that you did date a client?
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Whereas my view of sex has always been different - I liked to make sure we were physically compatible, and get that bit out of the way first. It was never a holding it back, keeping it for commitment thing. I was brought up and taught the opposite, but when I got down to it and really fancied someone my physical side always won!
So dating a customer I'd already gotten the sex out of the way, which suited me down to the ground.
Sex don't really bother me I'm more about wanting to get to know his personality and if we have common interests basically if we get on and how he treats me outside the bedroom.
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Sex don't really bother me I'm more about wanting to get to know his personality and if we have common interests basically if we get on and how he treats me outside the bedroom.
I agree. When I started dating my client the sex just naturally took a back seat and we focused on getting to know each other.
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I wouldn't consider dating anyone unless I already knew we were sexually compatible.
Different strokes :)
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If he was a punter I'd know if we were sexually compatible more important to me to know if he was a good mate and partner as the sex is not the be all and end all of a relationship in my book.
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I always thought I wouldn't date a client, but recently my mind has changed after meeting probably the nicest sweetest guy I've come across, we have spoken since March and had bookings, it's progressing nicely and he told me how he felt after our first meet, he's so lovely we talk every single day, I always said I'm young don't want a relationship until I'm around 30, but now I'm starting to think hmmm, a relationship would be nice!
Personally I don't think punters are any worse or better than non punters if a man is going to cheat he's going to cheat regardless if that's with an escort or not. Punters have various reasons for paying for sex I'm sure we've heard different ones from clients!
There are punters out there who probably don't tell a soul that they punt and you could meet him in a bar or on a dating site just like any civvy guy. So an escort/civvy could be dating an ex punter and have no idea at all.
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I wouldn't consider dating anyone unless I already knew we were sexually compatible.
Different strokes :)
Same here, I slept with my partner on the first date to check! It's also bullshit that you shouldn't put out too soon
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Same here, I slept with my partner on the first date to check! It's also bullshit that you shouldn't put out too soon
Me too, sexual compatibility is massively important to me in relationships, I'm always keen to check all is good in the bedroom department first.
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Yep. That's why I ended up dating a client...because he had a lovely body and was well endowed and he was a great lover. Shame about his brain, like :)
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I really don't think I could date a client, I went out for dinner once with a client socially and felt really weird about it, felt more at home naked with him than sitting in a reataurant with him.
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I think you need to have chemistry to fancy the pants off each other otherwise it feels like a freebie date.
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I was a cold hard, lets have some impersonal sex, that'll show how strong I am type person - and in a relationship my dismissive side is very strong, any partner has a tough time with me, hell I have a tough time with me too!
The media love to typecast both sex worker and client, let's not us do it too!
We all live and learn something new each day. It's good to hear that you're happy!! 5^ Thank you for sharing. :D
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Yes but you can fall in love with firm buttocks and a nice willy, I reckon.
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Yes but you can fall in love with firm buttocks and a nice willy, I reckon.
Oh yes! But for how long?
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I think you need to have chemistry to fancy the pants off each other otherwise it feels like a freebie date.
I'm not personally sure about that one. I often find that any relationships that started off with great sex / great chemistry ended badly.
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As Helen says, punters punt for different reasons - including loneliness or being widowed - so there's no reason some of them wouldn't make a good partner.
MD - IIRC it wasn't that long ago that you did date a client?
I know and that was two little blips less than a month. Lesson learned and I have found a decent man who loves me for me he didn't love me who met me as an escort. I don't have a problem here but when a few try to change my way it isn't happening. Especially coming with the fact I don't like clients just not to date. That's all nothing more or less. Mine met me under no sex worker fee. I'm happy with my foundation.
One client asked me if I have a bf. I said yes he said he hopes it not a client I rest my case. My life my choice. Disagree with me but I will never agree with dating clients. I'm worth more than that and have high standards.
My choice like others set thiers That's all. Oh yeah... I have a client coming to me in ten minutes because I provide a great service. :) Unlike what others assume here but pardon me think what you like. We are all different. It's working for me mine wasn't a male slut to begin with. :)
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I know and that was two little blips less than a month. Lesson learned and I have found a decent man who loves me for me he didn't love me who met me as an escort. I don't have a problem here but when a few try to change my way it isn't happening. Especially coming with the fact I don't like clients just not to date. That's all nothing more or less. Mine met me under no sex worker fee. I'm happy with my foundation.
One client asked me if I have a bf. I said yes he said he hopes it not a client I rest my case. My life my choice. Disagree with me but I will never agree with dating clients. I'm worth more than that and have high standards.
My choice like others set thiers That's all. Oh yeah... I have a client coming to me in ten minutes because I provide a great service. :) Unlike what others assume here but pardon me think what you like. We are all different. It's working for me mine wasn't a male slut to begin with. :)
You're worth more than that?! What is that supposed to mean. I can understand not dating clients as that's your choice and I respect that, it's not for everyone. However to say your standards are high etc is quite rude to the women who have ended up dating/living with/marrying ex customers.
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You're worth more than that?! What is that supposed to mean. I can understand not dating clients as that's your choice and I respect that, it's not for everyone. However to say your standards are high etc is quite rude to the women who have ended up dating/living with/marrying ex customers.
My standards are my standards that's all make what you want of it. Not all escorts date clients they are not the only men. I just choose non clients that's all. I only said after another thought she knew. If you stroll up. I just finished with a satisfied new client. :)
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My standards are my standards that's all make what you want of it. Not all escorts date clients they are not the only men. I just choose non clients that's all. I only said after another thought she knew. If you stroll up. I just finished with a satisfied new client. :)
But doesn't this mean you would only choose men who wouldn't choose to shag you?
I think there's some hella internalised misogyny going on here.
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If you stroll up. I just finished with a satisfied new client. :)
Why do we need to know that?
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Why do we need to know that?
congratulations!
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But doesn't this mean you would only choose men who wouldn't choose to shag you?
I think there's some hella internalised misogyny going on here.
It means what I have said all along make what you want out of it because you are far off. I will never date a paying client regardless. That's all.
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Why do we need to know that?
Because apparently mirror assumed wrong.
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My standards are my standards that's all make what you want of it. Not all escorts date clients they are not the only men. I just choose non clients that's all. I only said after another thought she knew. If you stroll up. I just finished with a satisfied new client. :)
Eh? You say that you don't want a man slut, who is to say your current man isn't one? Seeing escorts doesn't make you a man slut in the slightest. Some just want company, simple as that.
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Eh? You say that you don't want a man slut, who is to say your current man isn't one? Seeing escorts doesn't make you a man slut in the slightest. Some just want company, simple as that.
Because those who don't use escorts escorts will never know with clients. Ok... I disagree to agree to end this. Obviously I touched a nerve. I know and won't share about mine thank you.
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Because those who don't use escorts escorts will never know with clients. Ok... I disagree to agree to end this. Obviously I touched a nerve. I know and won't share about mine thank you.
My partner is not a man slut and never was. Never assume. I'm not a fan of closed minded people who tar everyone will the same brush. Touched a nerve? Seems like you're the one who has been burnt badly ::)
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My partner is not a man slut and never was. Never assume. I'm not a fan of closed minded people who tar everyone will the same brush. Touched a nerve? Seems like you're the one who has been burnt badly ::)
No not at all my man is better than paying for sex simple as. Obviously because you all are defending clients who are man slut. My man isn't. That's one thing I have for me.
Look Amy will lock this thread soon. I won't back down from my beliefs. Nor will you. So there you go. So carry on.
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Why do we need to know that?
Because mirror says that it sounds that she doesn't like her clients ! So she said that to show you that she doesn't dislike them and she still gives a great service but just chooses not to date them! Not wanting to date them and not liking them is two different things! And even though what she is saying may have touched a nerve with some of you and came across a bit rude for you there's no need to give snide remarks ! It's kinda childish ! Plus two wrongs really doesn't make a right ! Before you know it people will be scared to come on here and voice their opinion if it's different from the majority .
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it just seems like a barista saying they would never date a man who paid for coffee.
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No not at all my man is better than paying for sex simple as. Obviously because you all are defending clients who are man slut. My man isn't. That's one thing I have for me.
Woah, so men are 'better' if they don't use escorts? Jesus. ::)
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it just seems like a barista saying they would never date a man who paid for coffee.
Sex paying for sex this is what it is all about not poxy coffee.
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OK no worries. Sorry, I misunderstood.
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Sex paying for sex this is what it is all about not poxy coffee.
Isn't it though? I spend a lot of my takings in Costa :D
I think this view is just part of the fucked up societal view we have of sex.
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it just seems like a barista saying they would never date a man who paid for coffee.
How is this an appropriate analogy ?
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Isn't it though? I spend a lot of my takings in Costa :D
I think this view is just part of the fucked up societal view we have of sex.
Sex or clients ? Sorry I don't understand what this means ? ??? Did I miss something !? Can you please explain this to me ? I think we just need accept the fact that some escorts see clients as nothing more that that ! Clients ! Same way some of them see us as nothing more than just sexual outlets !
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Some punters in their fifties funnily enough asked me out - simply they must have thought I would be shagging them every night for free! My ideal mate would be someone who wouldn't dream of expecting that, ideally not interested in sex at all, not interested in living together, have common interests, wouldn't try to expect me to drop escorting, not expecting much from me essentially.
They usually get a hint ;D
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Sex or clients ? Sorry I don't understand what this means ? ??? Did I miss something !? Can you please explain this to me ? I think we just need accept the fact that some escorts see clients as nothing more that that ! Clients ! Same way some of them see us as nothing more than just sexual outlets !
You're right, some see clients as just clients and can't fathom ever being in a relationship with one. I totally agree. But to say that they are all man sluts is ridiculous. I hate when people generalise and tar everyone with the same brush.
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How is this an appropriate analogy ?
Because it's somebody saying that whilst they're happy to take somebody's money in a professional capacity and pay their bills with it, they consider that customer to be beneath them? Because they should be making their own coffee or just doing without? I don't think the specifics matter :).
MD, if you wouldn't want to date a punter then that's your business, but to state that men who don't pay for sex are 'better' than those who do is pretty obnoxious, and not just to punters. Explain your point of view by all means, but enough with the judgements.
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I find it rather laughable that because someone has paid for sex they are referred to as 'man sluts'.So in some peoples views if a bloke goes and sows his oats with a different women every week they meet on tinder while single then they make a better partner because they haven't paid for it?
Nobody is asking other escorts to date clients.I wasn't arsed to meet anyone client or otherwise but I accept anyone I meet will have had sexual partners before me and it doesn't really bother me if they have paid for it before.After all I sell it and to be disgusted with a client means I would have to be disgusted with myself!
My partner paid for a shag around once every 3 months over a 7 year period hardly hardcore sluttany given as I said some people go pull a different partner every week!
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It means what I have said all along make what you want out of it because you are far off. I will never date a paying client regardless. That's all.
Well, I was just pointing out that very recently you WERE dating clients - so it seems a little hypocritical to be so anti them now you're all loved up with a non-slut man. You keep chopping and changing, even about doing sex vs civvy work, and can come across as very self-satisfied when things are going well for you. As you like all of us know, things can change on a dime re. relationships, work success, anything, so I think it's best to keep both feet planted firmly on the ground.
I hope your civvy relationship and non-sex work career go well for you.
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You're right, some see clients as just clients and can't fathom ever being in a relationship with one. I totally agree. But to say that they are all man sluts is ridiculous. I hate when people generalise and tar everyone with the same brush.
Absolutely agree. Not all clients are man sluts and trust me there are man sluts who aren't clients, I know a few! To say your standards are "high" because you choose to date a non client is laughable, he could still cheat on you or treat you like shit just as another other guy could, he's not better or any worse than a man who pays for sex.
How do those of you who believe your man is better than clients know 100% that he has never visited an escort? He may have, he may not have... Who cares? He nah have visited escorts way before he met you, and if you found out would your view and perception change of him all of a sudden? I kinda find that hypocritical.
Just because a man chooses to pay for sex doesn't make him lower than those who don't and it certainly doesn't make him a man slut there are various reasons a man may see escorts instead of civvies, loneliness, shyness, losing their virginity, not wanting to chase and thousands more.
To tar every single client with the same brush is ridiculous.
I have met some of the loveliest clients in my escorting time and I've also come across some real nasty civvy guys. Choosing to pay for sex doesn't define you as a person.
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Right, I think the point has been made and it can stop now. I appreciate everybody likes to have their say, but I'm not having it turn into a witch hunt.
Move on, please.
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One thing that seems to come up regularly when we talk about dating customers is the question of 'does he want free sex?' My thought is, don't all men in a relationship want free sex? Sure they pay for it with dinners, cinema etc, but basically the girls are giving it away because they like the guy they are with..................What's the difference with us?
I guess the main concern might be if that's all they want really, I mean if you are looking for something more than just a casual relationship.
I agree with what others have said that some clients only use escorts when they are single, or because they are widowed or divorced and feeling lonely. I would not necessarily assume that a client will cheat on me with another escort at some point if I were to get involved. However I would never date a client (again) for many reasons. I have tried it and failed, although my heart really wasn't in it the first time. I would find it difficult to develop feelings for someone who has paid me for sex in the past. If I found out they had paid someone else for in the past that would not be a reason to break up.
I now have very strict boundaries with clients and would never think of crossing the line, even with clients whose company I really enjoy and who I find attractive. One of the main reasons for this is I would be very concerned about them knowing my escort name and real name and one day outing me if we ever broke up.
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My ideal mate would be someone who wouldn't dream of expecting that, ideally not interested in sex at all, not interested in living together, have common interests, wouldn't try to expect me to drop escorting, not expecting much from me essentially.
Not much surprises me these days, but I do think it's rather odd that someone could do this job and then be surprised that every man is potentially interested in sex with a companion, and even kind of expect it. I'm sure all of us who have had partners have found the expectations tiresome, but to expect a partner to go without sex altogether just because we have to do so much of it is completely off the wall.
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So if you have a relationship with a client and it doesn't work, you never date a client again. If you go out with a civvie and it doesn't work do you never go out with a civvie again?
The fear of a client turned partner outing you when the relationship ends I can understand, but is it not the same fear as a non client finding out and then outing you when the relationship ends? Or him finding out and then ending the relationship because the entire relationship is built on a lie and you are not the person he thought you were?
I just think that the issues are exactly the same regardless of the client/civvie status of your man.
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So if you have a relationship with a client and it doesn't work, you never date a client again. If you go out with a civvie and it doesn't work do you never go out with a civvie again?
The fear of a client turned partner outing you when the relationship ends I can understand, but is it not the same fear as a non client finding out and then outing you when the relationship ends? Or him finding out and then ending the relationship because the entire relationship is built on a lie and you are not the person he thought you were?
I just think that the issues are exactly the same regardless of the client/civvie status of your man.
I completely agree. I've dated civvies who have known about my job, and also civvies who I've kept it from. If you're an arsehole you're an arsehole, regardless if you pay for sex or not. Paying for sex doesn't make you a man slut or a lesser person. Clearly MD thinks she's above customers ::)
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Not much surprises me these days, but I do think it's rather odd that someone could do this job and then be surprised that every man is potentially interested in sex with a companion, and even kind of expect it. I'm sure all of us who have had partners have found the expectations tiresome, but to expect a partner to go without sex altogether just because we have to do so much of it is completely off the wall.
It was a tongue in cheek post to lighten up the atmosphere. ;D But seriously, I went out with someone for a couple of years before escorting. We never had sex and I liked him as a man / a person who shared so much in common. He was a little eccentric but was a good guy. Eventually, he moved to France. We were friends, that's what was about. It depends on what age group you are and in what life stage you are at. If you are "young", your needs are much more different from some of us in Autumn years. We change a lot as we travel through our life's journey. I survived three divorces. I've seen it all. My 3rd hubby was a pathological liar behind the facade of a trustworthy, responsible professional man.
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newbie NW I have had 3 divorces too! Read the book bought the t shirt don't see the attraction much at all in acquiring a boyfriend.
Not my cuppa tea for now.
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newbie NW I have had 3 divorces too! Read the book bought the t shirt don't see the attraction much at all in acquiring a boyfriend.
Not my cuppa tea for now.
I 2nd that! I like to keep the men in my life as punters, all my sex is paid for and my free time all for myself, I love my solitude, I only break it for a couple of close friends and family. Total bliss!
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newbie NW I have had 3 divorces too! Read the book bought the t shirt don't see the attraction much at all in acquiring a boyfriend.
Not my cuppa tea for now.
Thank you for sharing, Lushblossom!! It's nice to hear that I wasn't alone in this! :) :D As much as I do so respect and admire some of the punters I met so far, I prefer not to combine my life with someone else at this stage. Friendship, that's great. Someone to wake up with - No. ;)
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I 2nd that! I like to keep the men in my life as punters, all my sex is paid for and my free time all for myself, I love my solitude, I only break it for a couple of close friends and family. Total bliss!
Until you fall for someone else, helen ;-) Maybe, we ought to have mature escorts club on this site. Giggles.
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Until you fall for someone else, helen ;-) Maybe, we ought to have mature escorts club on this site. Giggles.
Oh no! I'm too old and cynical to be doing all that again..lol. Yes newbieNW that would be a good idea
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Oh no! I'm too old and cynical to be doing all that again..lol. Yes newbieNW that would be a good idea
I feel the same about "too old" but "cynical" can be rephrased as only too wise and realistic. xx
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I don't think there is a human alive as cynical as me. I am like an old, bitter witch :) My mate says I even cackle like one!
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Lol Shewolf luv to hear you cackle.....!
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Purely hypothetical question which I was thinking about last night, would you ever date someone who was a client. If you met someone with shared interests around the same age and you were attracted to them would you ever date them presuming the were single? I would be open to the idea as long as they were not dating me to take advantage of free sex and it was a genuine relationship. What got me thinking was one of my clients last week had so many shared interests, if I did not have something to go to I could have chatted about them for hours with him.
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put in search dating client or customer u will get a lot results :)
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Being prostitute doesn't mean becoming a machine : we are always human beings , whatever we do or whom we meet with .
I personally can't restrain myself to fixed rules , which , while pratically justified , would obliterate my capacity to reach out towards other people .
My advice is to always listen to the heart , and do whatever the conscience approves .
Love is the best gift we can be given on this planet , it's often the solution to any problem ... <3
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I am dating a former client right now. Been seeing each other since June.
It's nothing serious - I'm planning to move areas soon which will bring it to a natural close or maybe just an occasional meet up if I'm on tour or he's travelling. Also he is married, although he and his wife both have other partners, they are fully committed to each other. But it's nice to have someone to meet up with for great sex every week or so, and who understands the sex worker life.
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I am dating a former client right now. Been seeing each other since June.
It's nothing serious - I'm planning to move areas soon which will bring it to a natural close or maybe just an occasional meet up if I'm on tour or he's travelling. Also he is married, although he and his wife both have other partners, they are fully committed to each other. But it's nice to have someone to meet up with for great sex every week or so, and who understands the sex worker life.
How did you bring up the subject of becoming partners? Did you ask him?
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We had had a couple of bookings, including a long dinner date one. There was a lot of chemistry in and out of bed. We were chatting on WhatsApp a lot in between bookings, which I never do normally. He said he was in the area for a business meeting and did I fancy going for a drink that evening, I said yes, we had a couple of drinks and then I dragged him back to my place, haha :)
Then he said "I'd love to do this again" and I said "ME TOO" and that was it basically. I wouldn't say we're partners. I'd say we're friends with benefits. He prefers to say we're lovers, but then he also says I'm a courtesan ;D
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I hope it works out for you VC, I really do.
In terms of dating a former client, I would be worried that he may be an emotionally unavailable male, which is why he was seeing escorts in the first place...that would worry me because, if I decided to see him as a boyfriend, I would want him to care about me, not just my boobs. This has happened to me. I thought I could deal with the friends with benefits scenario it seemed to be but the ''relationship'' ended where it began...him not interested in any form of commitment, just sex. I think this scenario can become an insult if you start to have feelings for them, lay those feelings bare and ...nothing happens, just flannel...it can really hurt you.
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I have a similar relationship to VC, although we're just past the two-year mark and can go for quite a few weeks without getting together. It's not serious at all - I just enjoy his company. Right now, I'm not sure I'd be interested in a serious relationship with anyone, but I wouldn't rule out a client completely if I was.
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I often think that except some men, who are naturally monogamous, there are punters who simply do actively prefer NOT to be in a monogamous relationship (their personal choice) and see escorts as "she must be understanding", "she will be okay with me sleeping with random paid escorts / swinging" as she sleeps with hundreds of men anyway. If he performs BB regularly with random people either in paid or non-paid scenes without ever getting himself checked out, you need to ask yourself.
Relationships are complicated. Romance has its own sell by date whilst mileage may vary e.g. feelings do fade after a while.
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Punters and ex punters are a no go zone for me, I wouldn't be able to shake the feeling they were only with me for a free service so it would be a non starter.
Non putters are also a problem because...
If they readily accept my job do they actually care about me?
Are they with me for my money?
If they don't know I'm an escort how will they take it when I tell them?
Those who don't understand the job or are anti sex worker would they judge me for being one and think less of me?
Would I have to live a double life and lie about my income?
Too much stress so now I would only consider dating a non punter and only when I ever leave the lifestyle. As I plan on carrying on as long as I can get my stocking on I don't see it happening.
Life is much simpler being a sex worker and single so I don't have the stress.
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I hope it works out for you VC, I really do.
In terms of dating a former client, I would be worried that he may be an emotionally unavailable male, which is why he was seeing escorts in the first place...that would worry me because, if I decided to see him as a boyfriend, I would want him to care about me, not just my boobs. This has happened to me. I thought I could deal with the friends with benefits scenario it seemed to be but the ''relationship'' ended where it began...him not interested in any form of commitment, just sex. I think this scenario can become an insult if you start to have feelings for them, lay those feelings bare and ...nothing happens, just flannel...it can really hurt you.
Yes, I constantly check in with myself to make sure I'm not getting over-invested, he has been very clear all the way down the line that it's something we'll enjoy while it lasts but it won't be anything deep and meaningful, which is what I also want - I've had my fill of relationships and I'd never live with anyone again.
TBH he has a few qualities that would probably start to annoy me if we spent more time together. Politically we're at opposite ends of the spectrum and he has led a very privileged life. I like him a lot and we have a great time together but I don't think we'd work as anything serious.
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I've been through it before and always said it was a no go, I'd never do it again BUT...I have been seeing someone for the last two years through AW who I adore the bones of and he feels the same way...I'm seeing him next weekend for the first time without being paid (my choice) and we're looking to book a few days away together to see if away from the escort/client side of things if maybe there's something more. For the first time in quite a long time, he's someone I genuinely feel excited about and it's nice.
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it won't be anything deep and meaningful, which is what I also want - I've had my fill of relationships and I'd never live with anyone again.
That's exactly how I felt...at first...but I think emotions creep up on you and before you know it....you're hooked. Just look after yourself xx
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Punters and ex punters are a no go zone for me, I wouldn't be able to shake the feeling they were only with me for a free service so it would be a non starter.
Non putters are also a problem because...
If they readily accept my job do they actually care about me?
Are they with me for my money?
If they don't know I'm an escort how will they take it when I tell them?
Those who don't understand the job or are anti sex worker would they judge me for being one and think less of me?
Would I have to live a double life and lie about my income?
Too much stress so now I would only consider dating a non punter and only when I ever leave the lifestyle. As I plan on carrying on as long as I can get my stocking on I don't see it happening.
Life is much simpler being a sex worker and single so I don't have the stress.
Helen every word you wrote applies to me too.
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I've dated 3 ex clients over the years. All were unsatisfactory in some sort of way but interestingly not due to him being an ex punter or me being an escort. They weren't issues at all. I don't think I'd do it again though. Mainly because I have a long term relationship (he knew about and was fine with the other guys I saw) and this relationship suits me fine, I have no desire to go through the crap of a new relationship, I don't want to live with anyone and I can't be doing with the distraction a man in my life tends to bring.
Essentially the attempts at dating clients just means I end up losing really good regulars so for me someone I click with and get on well with who is a good client is something to hold onto and not allow to tip over into non-paid dates because once you do that you can never go back to paid meetings.
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Essentially the attempts at dating clients just means I end up losing really good regulars so for me someone I click with and get on well with who is a good client is something to hold onto and not allow to tip over into non-paid dates because once you do that you can never go back to paid meetings.
This is a really good point and not something I had considered despite having been through it before and it being glaringly obvious. That said, I've always said I'd stop escorting for the right person and with this particular person, I'm probably prepared to take that chance.
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I dated a former client and it ended badly. He couldn't see my sexuality as anything other than an extension of his (since those were the circumstances when he met me) and any wants or desires of my own were ignored and shamed.
I would be careful and I'd never date a client again.
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Has anyone else had this ? My first ever client a few years ago I fancied him like crazy and then I stopped escorting for a while. As soon as I got back into it he booked me again and then asked me out after the meet... That was last November and we're still together, only problem is... I worry incase he cheats on me with another escort cos he's not short on money... And I know he used to see A LOT of escorts. Help please !
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Okay I should probably add the fact that we're also both swingers and so we do both sleep with several people and that's what we enjoy. But we only swing as a couple. He says he used to see escorts as he likes something different. I just hope the swinging side keeps him satisfied with that desire. We have amazing sex and I know he loves me, and worships the ground I walk on...maybe I'm just being paranoid. I hope so as he's recently asked me to move in!
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This is what scares the shit out me the most. I only ever see clients and don't have a social life so by the law of averages I would end up in a relationship with a client.
I did have one ask me out and I said yes then he just disappeared!
I know I could never shake the doubt in my mind that he was still punting, so for that reason it would have to be a no go.
I have an ex who knows what I do and he still sees us together in the future. We rub along okay together although we are complete opposites. He currently has 2 girlfriends and likes to swing. I don't want to swing.
The only way our relationship would work is if I let him swing and I escort.
It totally fries my brain. I just don't know how jealous I would be.
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See I am the jealous type ! Even though I feel I shouldn't be, which is why we swing together...meeting other women or couples. I prefer to go to the clubs though, have your fun leave and then never speak to them again unless you bump into them. I've literally never felt so connected to someone and so in love but this little doubt just niggles at me. Like the other day I was looking through aw having a nosey and he pointed out one of the girls he's seen... And that was it... I was in the bathroom for half an hour vomitig and crying !
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We had had a couple of bookings, including a long dinner date one. There was a lot of chemistry in and out of bed. We were chatting on WhatsApp a lot in between bookings, which I never do normally. He said he was in the area for a business meeting and did I fancy going for a drink that evening, I said yes, we had a couple of drinks and then I dragged him back to my place, haha :)
Then he said "I'd love to do this again" and I said "ME TOO" and that was it basically. I wouldn't say we're partners. I'd say we're friends with benefits. He prefers to say we're lovers, but then he also says I'm a courtesan ;D
I hope you're charging him for all this "friends with benefits" fun :-)
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See I am the jealous type ! Even though I feel I shouldn't be, which is why we swing together...meeting other women or couples. I prefer to go to the clubs though, have your fun leave and then never speak to them again unless you bump into them. I've literally never felt so connected to someone and so in love but this little doubt just niggles at me. Like the other day I was looking through aw having a nosey and he pointed out one of the girls he's seen... And that was it... I was in the bathroom for half an hour vomitig and crying !
Well..the guy is absolutely NOT the monogamous type. i mean.. he goes to swingers clubs and he's been paying escorts for years. You're kidding yourself if you believe he's going to become monogamous after meeting you. And that's the "elephant in the room" right now in your relationship, so you're going to have to sit and negotiate stuff like boundaries, monogamy and sex with other people with your hubby otherwise I see a lot of crying and vomiting sessions in the bathroom in the future with this guy.
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See I am the jealous type ! Even though I feel I shouldn't be, which is why we swing together...meeting other women or couples. I prefer to go to the clubs though, have your fun leave and then never speak to them again unless you bump into them. I've literally never felt so connected to someone and so in love but this little doubt just niggles at me. Like the other day I was looking through aw having a nosey and he pointed out one of the girls he's seen... And that was it... I was in the bathroom for half an hour vomitig and crying !
This would be me, exactly!
The only way I can see it working is if he has his fun and I escort. I mean, as we know, it is only sex and love runs much deeper.
Violet, vomiting and crying is no good. x
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I formed a relationship with a client, we ended up getting married. Initially he was married and it was a until we decide it's over type thing, we grew together, he got fed up of his errant mostly absent wife and started divorce proceedings.....we agreed to get married and that was that.
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I hope you're charging him for all this "friends with benefits" fun :-)
LOL, no.
He brings me a lot of presents though :)
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This has happened to me.
My most regular client, saw me 2-3 times a week, and one day he just stopped paying me, and wanted a relationship - and I agreed ::)
I ended up leaving the industry to be with him, cutting ties with a list of regulars who paid me very well. To spend 18 months working minimum wage jobs to keep him happy, as he was "concerned with my safety" - translation: he didn't want me sleeping with other men.
At the time I had strong feelings for him, but over the course of 18 months I grew to resent everything about him. He was selfish, very secretive and extremely jealous. He was very much emotionally unavailable, due to being married and not wanting any form of commitment with me, it became obvious all he wanted was sex. I felt cheated and used, and have cut all ties with him. Due to my experience, I would NEVER date another client again.
I think communication is very important - be clear from the start and figure out what kind of relationship you both want, to avoid any misunderstandings.
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Has anyone else had this ? My first ever client a few years ago I fancied him like crazy and then I stopped escorting for a while. As soon as I got back into it he booked me again and then asked me out after the meet... That was last November and we're still together, only problem is... I worry incase he cheats on me with another escort cos he's not short on money... And I know he used to see A LOT of escorts. Help please !
I think you're going to have to be a tough cookie to handle a relationship with this guy...
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This has happened to me.
My most regular client, saw me 2-3 times a week, and one day he just stopped paying me, and wanted a relationship - and I agreed ::)
I ended up leaving the industry to be with him, cutting ties with a list of regulars who paid me very well. To spend 18 months working minimum wage jobs to keep him happy, as he was "concerned with my safety" - translation: he didn't want me sleeping with other men.
At the time I had strong feelings for him, but over the course of 18 months I grew to resent everything about him. He was selfish, very secretive and extremely jealous. He was very much emotionally unavailable, due to being married and not wanting any form of commitment with me, it became obvious all he wanted was sex. I felt cheated and used, and have cut all ties with him. Due to my experience, I would NEVER date another client again.
I think communication is very important - be clear from the start and figure out what kind of relationship you both want, to avoid any misunderstandings.
If he'd have been single, fair enough - maybe... But as he was married, he'd have got short shrift from me if he'd wanted me to stop working!
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Against all odds, I fell head over heals in love with a client. In hindsight, I realise I was emotionally very unstable after a sudden bereavement and reached burnout with the escorting at that time. He seemed to be too good to be true, swept me off my feet, showered me with love and presents and put me on a pedestal. I stopped escorting there and then without any back-up or exit plan. Cracks appeared quite quickly though, as he turned moody and sullen and then threw my past in my face. I realised that he was quite a manipulative person. For example, he made some comments about how disgusting most guys are who use the services of sex workers. I responded that most of the people I met were very nice and treated me with more respect than he had done lately. I also reminded him that we met because he booked me for a longer booking and was being a total hypocrite, as I was doing it for a job while he was the punter. None of my clients had ever made me feel dirty about being a sex worker but he tried to do so. I swore to myself never to get involved with anyone I met via this job ever again. I didn't want to meet anyone as my alter ego. I've met people for whom it worked but met many more for whom it didn't. It depends on your expectations too. I've been burned by this experience. I have to admit that I had better sex with clients before and then after when I started working again.
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Against all odds, I fell head over heals in love with a client. In hindsight, I realise I was emotionally very unstable after a sudden bereavement and reached burnout with the escorting at that time. He seemed to be too good to be true, swept me off my feet, showered me with love and presents and put me on a pedestal. I stopped escorting there and then without any back-up or exit plan. Cracks appeared quite quickly though, as he turned moody and sullen and then threw my past in my face. I realised that he was quite a manipulative person. For example, he made some comments about how disgusting most guys are who use the services of sex workers. I responded that most of the people I met were very nice and treated me with more respect than he had done lately. I also reminded him that we met because he booked me for a longer booking and was being a total hypocrite, as I was doing it for a job while he was the punter. None of my clients had ever made me feel dirty about being a sex worker but he tried to do so. I swore to myself never to get involved with anyone I met via this job ever again. I didn't want to meet anyone as my alter ego. I've met people for whom it worked but met many more for whom it didn't. It depends on your expectations too. I've been burned by this experience. I have to admit that I had better sex with clients before and then after when I started working again.
I had a very smilar experience with my ex who have been my client.
After him I start to dating with another client and we are together around 1 year now. He doesn't make a big problem about my job. We have agreement that I don't spend with any of my client longer then 2h. It does work. I am not jealous type of person and offered him 3some but he said that he doesn't want pay anyone right now and we don't know any girl to have a free fun. We have been on singers party but it didn't work for us. I haven't idea if he see other girls but as long as he pay them and it is just sex, I don't care. I am happy in this relationship and there is not arguments and talking about how it is horrible etc. He knows that I have to work to make sure that I can do what I planned.
I think that in any relationship the most important is friendship and understanding each other needs. In my previous relationship, I have been person who try so hard and get abused. Relationship with client may work if there is something more then sex and if he is single.
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Personally, I won't get involved with a punter, who bedded hundreds of women (it is a significant history) and sex with females based purely on physical attraction has been so extremely important to him. There are exceptions of course. Connection driven purely by physical attraction / sexual attraction has its sell by date. Once he gets bored with having sex with you after a while, he will probably move on if your connection is purely sex-based.
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I'm currently in a relationship and have been long term for almost 2 years now and planning on getting married 😍 he knows all my bad bits and good bits and vice verse. I am interested in other work too though in regards to just escorting x
We live together & work around each other as he has a job as an engineer .. so I work when he works .. we share our earnings and I do try not to see people I know or associate with and vice verse x
Although what I do isn't a secret from most inc him obviously I don't discuss it with our nearest and dearest so not offend although I know it shouldn't, but people get an image unique in their mind when you mention certain job titles / labels etc but I enjoy what I do .
He spoils me rotten all the time in the sweetest ways and we get along like best friends with ups and downs like everyone else and have loads in common
He has seen escorts in the past when he's been single but now as far as I trust he doesn't and I don't have any desire to meet other men either out of work nor am I into my clients in any other way than to provide them with an enjoyable friendly and comfortable experience I don't view any of them the way I view him nor have I before him oddly enough ..
I'm not into swinging and nor is he as that's a commonly asked question. If it did bother him I'd leave
I just hope it lasts .. wish me luck
And we all deserve the chance to be ourselves without judgement
I believe we all have a Yin to our yang so to speak xx
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I'm currently in a relationship and have been long term for almost 2 years now and planning on getting married 😍 he knows all my bad bits and good bits and vice versa. I am interested in other work too though in regards to just escorting x
We live together & work around each other as he has a job as an engineer .. so I work when he works .. we share our earnings and I do try not to see people I know or associate with and vice versa x
Although what I do isn't a secret from most inc him obviously I don't discuss it with our nearest and dearest so not offend although I know it shouldn't, but people get an image unique in their mind when you mention certain job titles / labels etc but I enjoy what I do .
He spoils me rotten all the time in the sweetest ways and we get along like best friends with ups and downs like everyone else and have loads in common
I just hope it lasts .. wish me luck
And we all deserve the chance to be ourselves without judgement
I believe we all have a Ying to our yang so to speak xx
Is he an ex punter or a civvie man you met away from escorting?
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He was a client ☺️
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He was a client ☺️
I am curious Cortesa as you share your earnings isn't this classed as him living off immoral earnings? And will you continue to escort after you are married? Has he said anything about you giving it up?
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There's no such thing as 'living off immoral earnings', and never has been. It's a myth :).
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I just hope it lasts .. wish me luck
And we all deserve the chance to be ourselves without judgement
I believe we all have a Yin to our yang so to speak xx
:) Thank you for sharing. :)
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There's no such thing as 'living off immoral earnings', and never has been. It's a myth :).
I don't like to disagree with you Amy as you are very knowledgeable but there is a law that has been used to prosecute unless my eyes deceiving me. lol
S.30 Sexual Offences Act 1956 states:-
"1; It is an offence for a man knowingly to live wholly or in part on the earnings of prostitution.
Read a case in the Telegraph...
Last year a police officer stumbled across Jilly's website and officers raiding the flat found a male client in a compromising position with Jilly. The client, who had earlier telephoned Chubb (her partner) to ask if Jilly was available, was being given a massage when they were interrupted by the officers.
In another raid Jilly's home was targeted and officers took away books, mobiles, computers and every piece of paper they could find. "They arrested Mike; they said he'd been living off immoral earnings," she told me.
Last week Chubb, a retired Army major, was found guilty in Dorchester Crown Court of living off the immoral earnings of a prostitute, given an eight-month suspended sentence and ordered to surrender the ?15,000 he earned from the 18-month venture. He was also ordered to pay ?250 costs.
The judge, Recorder Dermond O'Brien, told him: "Despite the criminal nature of your activities you probably did not realise you were doing anything significantly wrong. It was an act of breathtaking naivety. How somebody of your obvious intelligence was able to convince himself of this is something I can only marvel at."
The relationship between Chubb and Jilly has now ended, and she is back living alone. Jilly was not prosecuted because she did not herself solicit. "[The police] had no complaint about what I do," she told me.
From what I gather she was OK working from her site on the internet but he was prosecuted because A. He was her partner B. He knew she was a prostitute and C. He answered her phone when she was busy. She wasn't 'controlled' she was working an independent escort and paying her tax according to the Telegraph story.
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I don't like to disagree with you Amy as you are very knowledgeable but there is a law that has been used to prosecute unless my eyes deceiving me. lol
S.30 Sexual Offences Act 1956 states:-
"1; It is an offence for a man knowingly to live wholly or in part on the earnings of prostitution.
Yes, that was the previous offence before it was superceded by the Sexual Offences Act 2003 and the current Section 53 offence of Controlling Prostitution for Gain. Getting rid of it meant that people's partners (and potentially their children) could no longer be prosecuted, as now both controlling the prostitution and gaining from it have to be present for an offence to have taken place. We call it pimping :).
The term 'immoral earnings' whilst commonly used to refer to the old offence, has never been used on any statute.
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He wouldn't have been prosecuted for being her partner and knowing she was a prostitute because that would essentially mean no prostitute could ever have a partner.He will have got done for answering her phone which makes it look like she was managed.The same would apply technically to any of us if we got caught answering and taking bookings for another prossie.
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I hope you will be happy Courtesan and I wish you all best. If both people agree on something then there is not problem. If you are happy and don't feel used in any way by your parter then enjoy life. It's better to make money in this way then be unfaithful and end up with others for free in bed.
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Yes, that was the previous offence before it was superceded by the Sexual Offences Act 2003 and the current Section 53 offence of Controlling Prostitution for Gain. Getting rid of it meant that people's partners (and potentially their children) could no longer be prosecuted, as now both controlling the prostitution and gaining from it have to be present for an offence to have taken place. We call it pimping :).
The term 'immoral earnings' whilst commonly used to refer to the old offence, has never been used on any statute.
Thanks for clarifying Amy.
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I'm currently in a relationship and have been long term for almost 2 years now and planning on getting married 😍 he knows all my bad bits and good bits and vice verse. I am interested in other work too though in regards to just escorting x
We live together & work around each other as he has a job as an engineer .. so I work when he works .. we share our earnings and I do try not to see people I know or associate with and vice verse x
Although what I do isn't a secret from most inc him obviously I don't discuss it with our nearest and dearest so not offend although I know it shouldn't, but people get an image unique in their mind when you mention certain job titles / labels etc but I enjoy what I do .
He spoils me rotten all the time in the sweetest ways and we get along like best friends with ups and downs like everyone else and have loads in common
He has seen escorts in the past when he's been single but now as far as I trust he doesn't and I don't have any desire to meet other men either out of work nor am I into my clients in any other way than to provide them with an enjoyable friendly and comfortable experience I don't view any of them the way I view him nor have I before him oddly enough ..
I'm not into swinging and nor is he as that's a commonly asked question. If it did bother him I'd leave
I just hope it lasts .. wish me luck
And we all deserve the chance to be ourselves without judgement
I believe we all have a Yin to our yang so to speak xx
This is so nice to read! Hope it all continues to go well for you x
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I'm dating and living with an ex client - don't turn down a good thing because you feel it's 'wrong'. Maybe talk to him about it see how he would feel about dating.
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My opinion about this is if you wanted it, by all means but everyone has a different set of circumstances and different escorts are in different life stages. Even it works for someone, it may not work for someone else. Life becomes complex as we grow older. Enjoy whilst it lasts in your younger years.
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I believe it can work. In the past I've been very tempted to even marry some of my previous and current regular clients. I'm 25, I'm trying to wait until I'm at least 30 preferably 35 before I basically accept an offer I can't refuse. If he's not too ugly, not too boring, we get on really well, he's 10-20 years older earning over ?100k/year then I'm all over that.
Currently if I was to have a boyfriend he would have to accept me being an escort, and then see how we feel about everything later on.
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I don't think there is a human alive as cynical as me. I am like an old, bitter witch :) My mate says I even cackle like one!
I'm so surprised at that ! What with your scat play etc LMAO
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I know I am a paradox :)
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I know I am a paradox :)
Snap,cackle and plop ( Oooh) I'll never eat rice crispies again especially chocolate ones , you could eat them , don't chew and fire them out ! X
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Snap,cackle and plop ( Oooh) I'll never eat rice crispies again especially chocolate ones , you could eat them , don't chew and fire them out ! X
;D ;D ;D
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I have mixed opinions about dating clients.
My ex was a former client who asked me out for a drink after meeting him a few times.
I told him i would be happy to have drinks with him at a reduced rate but i wasn't willing to meet up with him for free.
He replied "oh okay I'll get back to you" A week went by when i got a text asking if i was still willing to have a few drinks with him. After a brief convo with him and agreeing on a day, time and fee i met with him for a few drinks and we had a meal.
I ended up leaving this industry and ended up in a 2 year relationship with him not long afterwards. Turned out to be one of worst mistakes of my life.
He was a textbook narcissist who stalked me, harrassed me and never gave me a moments peace.
I could go on forever :( when trying to explain the lengths and depths he went to in attempts to control me, he was so possessive and manipulative.
He Used my past against me at every opportunity he had, & after a few drinks on xmas day over the dinner table he decided to share with two of his best friends and their wives that i used to be a former prostitute and how he'd saved me from the horrible mistreatment id endured at the hands of clients.. I almost choked on my dinner in total disbelief at what i was hearing while he came across like he was my "knight in shining armour" who only tried to "help me!! ???
Everyone around the table went quiet, i was speechless and felt so uncomfortable i ended up getting up from the table, and leaving early apologising to his friends and wives On the way out.
He ended up returning home not long after and never said a word just collapsed asleep on the bed drunk with ten minutes.
What a perfect start to the first xmas i spent with him..I'd never felt so humiliated in all my life :(
Every attempt i made to end the relationship resulted in threats of blackmail that he would tell my family and friends i was a former prostitute. I told him to get on with it and blocked his calls & messages.
What i didn't know was that before we split up he'd placed a keylogger on my computer and mobile devices and installed some software which played havoc with my computer.
I lost years of my personal files.
I was never tech savvy until I met him but now I've had to be, especially with various techniques available to people who can use software ect to gain information about you.
I decided after a couple of months of leaving him to return to escort Work hoping i could try to forget about him.
No chance!! 😳
That was almost 18 months ago and although i returned to escort work for a year he just never left me alone.
He told me in a email 8 months after returning to the industry that he'd "paid someone" to keep an eye on me ???
I had no idea what he meant by that.. I just replied thankyou very much but the only guy i need protection from was you!- "himself"! :o
He used several fake accounts on adultwork to send me emails, placed fake bookings with intention to mess me around, then left multiple disgusting fake feedbacks- Thankfully after contacting adultwork and explaining the problems I've been having they kindly removed this feedback.. but only because he left identifying details in this feedback such as my real name, my address ect along with insulting disgusting remarks.
There were times this feedback had been online several hours before I'd even seen it and each and everytime he did this i had to remove my profile from view until adultwork removed the comments.
I did involve the police several times, he was given written warnings and cautions but as i hadn't told the police the full truth about this line of work it was difficult for me to explain to them some of the things he's been doing which he knew i didn't want to do.
He did take it upon himself to tell the police everytime i called them i was a "prostitute, I'd been cheating on him" believing this would gain him sympathy and the police wouldn't take action just as he told all his friends and people who knew me that id "left him" to become a "prostitute", but he just failed to mention we met as he was a former client! ::)
I often wondered how the heck i got involved with such a disordered person, as im not stupid and im not easily sucked in by guys who try to flatter with compliments and sweet nothings.
Yes He was lovely when i first met him, love bombed me with flowers, chocolates, gifts, lots of compliments and swept me off my feet. Now i when i look back i want to thank him for what he taught me. :o
His sweet nature and the excitement quickly changed once he was certain i looked comfortable and happy with him, it was then his true colours came out along with false accusations and psychological abuse.
I later found out he'd done this before to another girl who worked in the adult industry, she was a lap dancer and he made her life hell, stalked her afterwards to the point she ended up giving up the job completely, ended up on antidepressents, gave up her home and returned to live with her parents after becoming a alcoholic.
I'd like to think not all clients who begin relationships with escorts turn out to be like this- but as he was my first experience of dating a client i just don't know :)
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Jeezo, can't add much. You sound like you have lived and learned Big time
I've met and tangled with a few arseholes along the way too. Still here, still surviving.
Best wishes for the future
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Jeezo, can't add much. You sound like you have lived and learned Big time
I've met and tangled with a few arseholes along the way too. Still here, still surviving.
Best wishes for the future
Hi Naughtyforty,
Thankyou and best wishes to you too. I'm still learning and just tell myself "Don't mix business with pleasure!" ;D I've decided in future to stick to my rules with bookings and NOT agree to a "few drinks" with a client in future as its clear he's looking for something more than the business side of things, so I've lived & learnt in that respect x :)
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Hi Naughtyforty,
Thankyou and best wishes to you too. I'm still learning and just tell myself "Don't mix business with pleasure!" ;D I've decided in future to stick to my rules with bookings and NOT agree to a "few drinks" with a client in future as its clear he's looking for something more than the business side of things, so I've lived & learnt in that respect x :)
Hiya Rebecca,
What a terribels story OMG, sorry to hear that happened to you. My question is: where you dating this guy for a long time while you escorted or did you leave the industry right after meeting him? I'm just trying to figure out of there were any "warning signs" in the begining (?)
A
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I was seeing a client for 7 months, things were going well until he got very possessive. And we all know why men get possessive, its because they are up to no good themselves. We got back from a holiday in spain sunday night and I couldn't wait to get home. During the holiday I went through his phone and found out that he was still booking girls . I threw the phone at him and told him it was over. He attacked me. I am covered in bruises and he has hurt me badly. I had to play the happy couple for the rest of the holiday as he refused to book me a flight home. He said that it was my fault because he didn't want me to leave him. Now, before you feel sorry for me you need to know that I'm not stupid. Before I confronted him I got all the numbers of his family from his phone, including his ex wife who he battered two years ago, although I believed him when he told me he didn't do it. Anyway, we get back to England and he crys and begs for me to stay with him blah blah blah. So I agree to shut him up. This morning I contacted his ex wife and asked about him assultng her. It turns out it was really bad and she had to have her nose and cheek operated on and apparently he is still under bail conditions and has to inform his probation officer of any new relationship he was in. Which he hasn't done.
Due to the fact that I was armed with his probation officers details and he obviously didn't want his family (who I have met and they think I'm lovely) to know he visits prostitutes, youd all be happy to hear that I have had ?5000 transferred into my bank account and his bitter ex wife has still told his family......and everybody he works with.........and all the village he lives in. Not that I knew she was a gossip when I contacted her lol
Wrong move cheating and beating on moi ! Wrong move on my part, I should have asked for 10k!
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Hiya Rebecca,
What a terribels story OMG, sorry to hear that happened to you. My question is: where you dating this guy for a long time while you escorted or did you leave the industry right after meeting him? I'm just trying to figure out of there were any "warning signs" in the begining (?)
A
Sorry to hear about your bad experiences Rebecca.
I think the 'warning signs' are always there. But if someone is in love and really wants things to work out they will either not recognise or ignore these signs, and will just focus on the positives (which there often are too) its human nature. And don't forget these type of men are very manipulative so it often takes time for the facts about whats really happening to sink in and by that time its more difficult to break free.
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I do believe that the vast majority of decent punters appreciate the meaning of using escorts. Someone else said on other threads that some men look for bareback sex and he thinks dating a vulnerable or gullible escort would be a way to get it and he tries to buy you in exchange for a promise of LTDs or love etc. I do think there are a group of men who are like that. Luckily, the majority aren't like that.
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I would say, in my experience, about 80% of clients have been boundary pushers (wanting to 'date' i.e free sex) so I would say the opposite.
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You mean..80% of your clients have been seeking more than gfe? :o your GFE must be authentic.
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Blimey Shewolf, you must deserve an Oscar ;D
I wouldn't say more than 20% of mine, max, have even hinted at wanting to date.
I mean I get idiots emailing and texting me asking to "just meet for a drink" but I just ignore those obviously!
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Nooooo I don't think it's me, I just think clients in general have a real difficulty accepting the client/escort transaction maybe because they have a big ego, or are lonely or just trying to exploit me (they won't get very far).
I think I've just been unlucky or maybe I am too friendly to them. That latter bit is probably due to my own nerves. I talk too much. I need to shut it more and be more aloof. Cool 8)
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I just think clients in general have a real difficulty accepting the client/escort transaction maybe because they have a big ego, or are lonely or just trying to exploit me (they won't get very far).
I often think it's a thrill of chase, the trophy girl for free sex. Once she is "conquered", they generally move on to another one to score. If you look at fbs, guys state, oh, she's so gorgeous, wonderful, will return etc then, comes next month, he was seeing a new girl. This isn't intended to sound derogatory. It's nothing unusual. Maybe, it's better than having stalkish men, who aren't really genuine punters seeking a good time in pay for sex scene.
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Hiya Rebecca,
What a terribels story OMG, sorry to hear that happened to you. My question is: where you dating this guy for a long time while you escorted or did you leave the industry right after meeting him? I'm just trying to figure out of there were any "warning signs" in the begining (?)
A
Warning signs
Yes He was lovely when i first met him, love bombed me with flowers, chocolates, gifts, lots of compliments and swept me off my feet. Now i when i look back i want to thank him for what he taught me. :o
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It's hard to say... I would rather go out with someone who brings me flowers than one who shows up with none whatsoever. Is romance dead? ???
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My Motto....
'Catch buses, not feelings' :D
Them things make it awkward, and that was before I even thought about telling him about the job :P The last 'relationship' ended because he was adamant Id gone back with someone after a night out, so while hes going on one all i could do was hold my mouth shut from shouting 'Like **** Id do free, you having a laugh' ;D
But I kept my halo straight and my work quiet :)
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I've done it. And still together 2 years later.
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After years of "do not cross that bridge" I have and we have been together 3 years and married for one of them. Lot of thorny horny frogs out there but some of them do turn out to be your prince.
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Ive done it and he cldnt deal wth it. But he was a control freak and jeleaous of my kids so wldnt have worked if i was an escort or not x
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I'm way too analytical, have trust issues, can't stand BS...I better stay alone, have fun and stick him back to his wife / gf.. :D I had LTR . It wasn't for me. I dislike getting attached and lose a chunk of my focus and time over "the normal life" .. In fact, I was kinda going out with a punter but geese, romantic period would not last. I got irritated and I have no patience needed for any relationship lasting longer than 3 hours unpaid.
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Aware this is an old post but interested to know how this turned out!
I have had a guy recently that nearly crossed the red line...
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I think with the right person, it could work! It has for me, so far. Happily attached to a former client (XX) and he's my first serious bf ever. It's long distance which helps but he doesn't have any hang ups about how we met. I have to credit another former client (YY) for helping me open myself up to the possibilities of love. Without YY, I wouldn't be who I am and understanding men the way I do. I could have seen myself with YY at one point in time but he never overcame his fear of dissolving his unhappy marriage.
I know this is a very divisive issue amongst escorts but I belong in the camp that would date client if the right one came along :)
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I haven't read any of the comments on this thread but thought I would add this - I didn't just date a client, I married one
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I'm happily married. My hubby doesn't cheat and wouldn't. I know that for a fact. I don't cheat either and never would.
I wasn't escorting when I met my hubby but I am now.
My ex boyfriend of almost 3 years I met whilst working as an escort but I gave the job up when me and him became serious. He treated me fine.
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I'm happily married. My hubby doesn't cheat and wouldn't. I know that for a fact. I don't cheat either and never would.
I wasn't escorting when I met my hubby but I am now.
My ex boyfriend of almost 3 years I met whilst working as an escort but I gave the job up when me and him became serious.
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Been a while since I logged into SAAFE but I ran to the forum this morning...
Have been dating an ex client for exactly a year. I was his first WG and we hit it off straight away. He was in a miserable marriage, on antidepressants and in desperate need of love. I stepped up to the plate. Despite being a staunch bachelor for the previous 6 years and WG for the last 8.
At first, things were gorgeous and romantic and he seemed to not mind my work at all. He eventually left his wife (and 2 kids!!) to live with me. I continued to work and everything was mostly hunky dory. He came off his antiDs and was starting to become a fully formed confident, lovely bloke, despite the occasional anxious blip.
We have now moved into a proper flat together and things are getting real tense. I think he thought that the new flat would mean I'd stop working and get a 'normal' job. I am self employed and have various projects on the go so I need the flexibility. A normal day job would ultimately put my dreams to bed - and I would resent him for that.
On a side note: I have recently been invited to Vietnam for a week with a regular and the boyf went ape shit about this. I said I wouldn't go and to forget about it, but I'm quite devastated that I've had to turn it down. But, a decent relationship is worth more than an exotic jaunt...right?
He has started having reoccurring dreams about me barebacking punters and being violent towards him. Every day he mentions how he feels jealous and insecure about work - either I will get hurt or I will fall in love with another punter.
I feel like I need to submit to 'civvie street' just to quell his anxieties - do I wanna lose a loving relationship just so I can be a hooker for another decade? Not really...but this lifestyle is all I have ever known. The jobs market at best bores me, at worst terrifies me.
This guy wants to marry me as soon as I stop working. But it feels like it's all on his terms - that he wants to 'tame the shrew'. But I am not one to be domesticated!
What can I do to get him to see my work as WORK? He only sees it from his perspective when we first met and hit it off. I promise him that my bookings are much more clinical and mechanical but he can't believe it.
Ho hum...what's a WG to do? ???
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Personally I'd bin him off - no man gets to tell me how I earn my living or what I do with my sex organs.
Imagine you give up on your dreams and accept a crap job in a call centre.
You will be miserable, bored and depressed.
He will then decide you're as boring as his ex wife, and start fucking someone else.
Then he'll leave.
Yeah I'm a cynic. But these guys hack me off. They're attracted to you because you're independent, strong and free. Then they get with you and want to put you in a box. Fuck that.
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Been a while since I logged into SAAFE but I ran to the forum this morning...
Have been dating an ex client for exactly a year. I was his first WG and we hit it off straight away. He was in a miserable marriage, on antidepressants and in desperate need of love. I stepped up to the plate. Despite being a staunch bachelor for the previous 6 years and WG for the last 8.
At first, things were gorgeous and romantic and he seemed to not mind my work at all. He eventually left his wife (and 2 kids!!) to live with me. I continued to work and everything was mostly hunky dory. He came off his antiDs and was starting to become a fully formed confident, lovely bloke, despite the occasional anxious blip.
We have now moved into a proper flat together and things are getting real tense. I think he thought that the new flat would mean I'd stop working and get a 'normal' job. I am self employed and have various projects on the go so I need the flexibility. A normal day job would ultimately put my dreams to bed - and I would resent him for that.
On a side note: I have recently been invited to Vietnam for a week with a regular and the boyf went ape shit about this. I said I wouldn't go and to forget about it, but I'm quite devastated that I've had to turn it down. But, a decent relationship is worth more than an exotic jaunt...right?
He has started having reoccurring dreams about me barebacking punters and being violent towards him. Every day he mentions how he feels jealous and insecure about work - either I will get hurt or I will fall in love with another punter.
I feel like I need to submit to 'civvie street' just to quell his anxieties - do I wanna lose a loving relationship just so I can be a hooker for another decade? Not really...but this lifestyle is all I have ever known. The jobs market at best bores me, at worst terrifies me.
This guy wants to marry me as soon as I stop working. But it feels like it's all on his terms - that he wants to 'tame the shrew'. But I am not one to be domesticated!
What can I do to get him to see my work as WORK? He only sees it from his perspective when we first met and hit it off. I promise him that my bookings are much more clinical and mechanical but he can't believe it.
Ho hum...what's a WG to do? ???
You are exciting to him until he gets bored of you it is obvious the honey moon period is over. In an relationship sharing the trust is important. He probably sees it like you choose them over him knocking his male ego.
All on his terms.?.
This is toxic it screams out to me he doesn't want you to be independent.It is not a job like we see it they see it different like we are having sex with other men. Some men cannot deal with it.
You are missing long bookings already because he says so. He sounds controlling sorry to say usually things get even more complicated and when it starts affecting you feeling trapped.
We are all strong independent woman. :)
Just to add you can't get him to see it his way like when we make our minds up no one is going to change it. Just being realistic here.
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Personally I'd bin him off - no man gets to tell me how I earn my living or what I do with my sex organs.
Imagine you give up on your dreams and accept a crap job in a call centre.
You will be miserable, bored and depressed.
He will then decide you're as boring as his ex wife, and start fucking someone else.
Then he'll leave.
Yeah I'm a cynic. But these guys hack me off. They're attracted to you because you're independent, strong and free. Then they get with you and want to put you in a box. Fuck that.
+1
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All of what VC and MD said.
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Ivy, yes, I'd agree that the honeymoon period is over, plus you've got him over his bad patch. I'm not really sure what the next step is though - perhaps a serious discussion about whether you continue sex work, and what your options are if you don't? I would stand your ground if you don't want to give it up though.
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True story!! :'(
Imagine you give up on your dreams and accept a crap job in a call centre.
You will be miserable, bored and depressed.
He will then decide you're as boring as his ex wife, and start fucking someone else.
Then he'll leave.
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A difficult one, but you love this guy and you wouldn't want to lose him. It sounds like you never told him you would not want to stop sex work? Have you left him guessing you were probably going to quit escorting? Any relationships involve sacrifices and you have already done that. There is no surprise that if a man loves her, he would assume that she belongs to him, only him. He marries you as his wife, who will be his, not shared by random strangers. It's not uncommon. Men are hard wired to be territorial and it's quite natural, if inconvenient.
There are men who would not mind his woman escorting and have a serious LTR with escorts (not friend with benefits type arrangements) but it's probably something fairly unconventional.
Your man sounds traditional. If he punted only with you, that may explain. Hope you're happy and may your happiness last. :)
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Thanks ladies as always :-*
He is defo traditional and very soft hearted. I extremely doubt he would end up finding me boring and going to someone else. He is not a love rat, but someone desperately craving a deeply caring and loving relationship - which we have. The honeymood period is over which is why these things are being pulled into the light. Best we sort out underlying tensions now before it gets weird.
We had a big chat about it yesterday and things have settled down. I am slowly looking for civvie work on my terms and only applying for what genuinely interests me. I said to him "you can either deal with the fact I'm gonna be a SW for the long run or bail now" and he chose the former. On a bonus note - he said he trusts me to go to Vietnam! Whoohoo!
I knew this wouldn't be easy - I'm a hooker and he's got a crazy wife, but it's all worth it in the end...
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Thanks ladies as always :-*
On a bonus note - he said he trusts me to go to Vietnam! Whoohoo!
Good luck, ID. Hope everything goes well for you. ;D
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Yes you need to be able to discuss things, not ban each other, and also make it clear you have no intentions of giving up. When you want to give up, you will. Any other way is an invite to disaster in my opinion.
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I started escorting in 2016 because I never thought I would find my perfect man, then I did! A client he was 20 years older than me but our minds were the same age. He told me he lived me, I was hesitant because I'd been hurt badly in the past and told him I had trouble saying g those words, however he said "don't worry, in time you will" and within a few weeks I did and I loved him with all my heart! I still do, we did all sorts of fun things together and of course I refused his mo eh as he was my boyfriend! I can honestly say I had never been happier than when I was snuggled safe and secure in his arms! I felt truly loved, happy and real for probably the first time in my life, then he said he hadn't Mrs t for me to be his girlfriend, he loved me but he wasn't sure he knew what love was! Then I found out he had created a fake profile in a punter forum and left a positive review for me! We had been seeing each other for well over 12 months at this point then I found out he had created that same profile on aw and was busy seeing other escorts! I had told him previously I would be happy with an open relationship however it would appear that some men just have to cheat! It's a shame it ended that way but I do tend to think that maybe he was a narcissist and once he knew I had fallen he lost interest! Poor guy
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Comes with a low success rate. You will stand a better chance with a non hooker client. For starters they don't serial cheat to begin with. I never trust clients used to that was a big mistake. There is nothing appealing about going steady for me with a man whore.
My non client bf makes me very happy and loves me for me not trying to change me. I was leaving escorting before I met him. He is supportive with helping me find civy work and haven't been happier.
We slot together very well, he is my dream man. Even as friends at the begining he started massaging my feet while we spoke. He is very loyal too and is a Virgo. We keep eachother amuzed and are similar being a Gemini.
Now I'm very fussy when it comes to men. Go shopping girls to meet them lol.
I love him with all my heart and he does me too. This is like a fairy tale.
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Been a while since I logged into SAAFE but I ran to the forum this morning...
Have been dating an ex client for exactly a year. I was his first WG and we hit it off straight away. He was in a miserable marriage, on antidepressants and in desperate need of love. I stepped up to the plate. Despite being a staunch bachelor for the previous 6 years and WG for the last 8.
At first, things were gorgeous and romantic and he seemed to not mind my work at all. He eventually left his wife (and 2 kids!!) to live with me. I continued to work and everything was mostly hunky dory. He came off his antiDs and was starting to become a fully formed confident, lovely bloke, despite the occasional anxious blip.
We have now moved into a proper flat together and things are getting real tense. I think he thought that the new flat would mean I'd stop working and get a 'normal' job. I am self employed and have various projects on the go so I need the flexibility. A normal day job would ultimately put my dreams to bed - and I would resent him for that.
On a side note: I have recently been invited to Vietnam for a week with a regular and the boyf went ape shit about this. I said I wouldn't go and to forget about it, but I'm quite devastated that I've had to turn it down. But, a decent relationship is worth more than an exotic jaunt...right?
He has started having reoccurring dreams about me barebacking punters and being violent towards him. Every day he mentions how he feels jealous and insecure about work - either I will get hurt or I will fall in love with another punter.
I feel like I need to submit to 'civvie street' just to quell his anxieties - do I wanna lose a loving relationship just so I can be a hooker for another decade? Not really...but this lifestyle is all I have ever known. The jobs market at best bores me, at worst terrifies me.
This guy wants to marry me as soon as I stop working. But it feels like it's all on his terms - that he wants to 'tame the shrew'. But I am not one to be domesticated!
What can I do to get him to see my work as WORK? He only sees it from his perspective when we first met and hit it off. I promise him that my bookings are much more clinical and mechanical but he can't believe it.
Ho hum...what's a WG to do? ???
This has just happened to me.
Started dating a punter almost a year ago and we got on so well.
I genuinely thought he was the one for me.
We had so many things in common and we even talked about marriage in the future.
Then about 3 mths ago he started struggling with the job and finally 2weeks ago he left saying he can't stand it.
I'm devastated but angry. How dare he start saying that I need to choose between him or the job!!
It will always be the job because there is no way I can ever go back to ?7.50 hr and having my hrs and days dictated by a boss.
I love my freedom and independence and I will give it up when I'm ready.
Yes it can work for some people and it hasn't put me off dating another client but sadly this time it did t work x
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Dating has a honeymoon of period 6-12 months in that time everything is wonderful and he is so understanding and loving but after this period reality sets in and problems arise.
After being in a 20 year relationship and then a 10 year marriage I now don't feel the need for a relationship anymore, I'd never give up work for a man and I wouldn't date a punter.
Personally I prefer to remain single in order to have an uncomplicated wonderful life where I can work or not as I want and generally please myself 24/7.
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Dating has a honeymoon of period 6-12 months in that time everything is wonderful and he is so understanding and loving but after this period reality sets in and problems arise.
After being in a 20 year relationship and then a 10 year marriage I now don't feel the need for a relationship anymore, I'd never give up work for a man and I wouldn't date a punter.
Personally I prefer to remain single in order to have an uncomplicated wonderful life where I can work or not as I want and generally please myself 24/7.
I felt like this but I have now been seeing a man for 3 years he knows what I do we do not live together we meet when we both want to. I do not feel I have to see him if I want some me time or if I am busy with family we speak most days but often it can be once a week or once a fortnight we get together which suits me just fine
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I have read an article "I'm 55 years old and am done with Men" or something like that.
Men over 50s (if not all) say, "women who had gone past 55 are not a real woman and I don't want these old ***" whilst they try to score younger women in their dating game. I often think hormones play a huge part in women. I only see men as liabilities. They suck up a lot of time/energies I could have done something more productive and more meaningful.
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Dating has a honeymoon of period 6-12 months in that time everything is wonderful and he is so understanding and loving but after this period reality sets in and problems arise.
After being in a 20 year relationship and then a 10 year marriage I now don't feel the need for a relationship anymore, I'd never give up work for a man and I wouldn't date a punter.
Personally I prefer to remain single in order to have an uncomplicated wonderful life where I can work or not as I want and generally please myself 24/7.
Yes! i feel same! never give up work for a man! i will date a client if he is paying me in some way like arrangment!
some day i feel that can be more easy to be with a man...after 2 seconds i think that can be even more difficult to be with a man!
i am romantic, i am a dreamer....but only when i image....i saw too much Waltdisney when i was child! :)
i know that 2 brains is better then one...i would like a male partner just for business, i like men`s attitude, i like men.. but not be married with them! i do not wife`s role maybe...
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I felt like this but I have now been seeing a man for 3 years he knows what I do we do not live together we meet when we both want to. I do not feel I have to see him if I want some me time or if I am busy with family we speak most days but often it can be once a week or once a fortnight we get together which suits me just fine
That's exactly my situation as well. Suits me fine and has done for the past 7 years! It would be perfect if I was at the stage in life where I had had my kids etc... as he doesn't want anything more but eventually I do!
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I agree maturehelen. Been married ten years and in long term relationships. I do my own thing now when i want aside ftom the kids. If i want a takeaway i have it rather than a man expecting a cooked meal. Maybe ive just met the wrong guys but happy on my own for now x
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i wish to remove this post
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He has over the last few months insisted that I live with him, rent free.
Massive, massive red flag. You've not even had one date and he's pushing you to move in together?! :o
Run for the fucking hills!
I'd probably say to him "I've decided it's best for me personally to keep business and pleasure separate."
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Hi girls
I've been working for years.(on and off)
This year I met a client. A nice client(a year younger than me, a middle class, well educated, stock broker type of person.) He has remained texting and phoning me to meet up and go for a date. Firstly I feel out of his league, civvy life civvy career
Last night I had a conversation with him and he said he'd really like us to date and he is happy for me to continue on working on the game.
He goes on to say he is impressed with what I do.
I said to him, what if someone says to you I'm a prossie and he said he has no problem with it. He has over the last few months insisted that I live with him, rent free.
He thinks its great that we each other secret.
Of course I feel actually I'd like to give him a go but what's your opinion.
Sounds like a classic freebie hunter. Paid one time and think you would be naive enough to be taken advantage of. Asking him to keep a secret and be worthy of dating him puts you in a vulnerable position, giving it away without him even convincing you, it looks really bad. As vc said run for the hills.
Sorry hun, he doesn?t seem like a bf material at all. Xx
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Hi girls
I've been working for years.(on and off)
This year I met a client. A nice client(a year younger than me, a middle class, well educated, stock broker type of person.) He has remained texting and phoning me to meet up and go for a date. Firstly I feel out of his league, civvy life civvy career
Last night I had a conversation with him and he said he'd really like us to date and he is happy for me to continue on working on the game.
He goes on to say he is impressed with what I do.
I said to him, what if someone says to you I'm a prossie and he said he has no problem with it. He has over the last few months insisted that I live with him, rent free.
He thinks its great that we each other secret.
Of course I feel actually I'd like to give him a go but what's your opinion.
This would alert me that he is to be avoided. We know what we do is not something to be ashamed of but for him to say that just does not sound right at all. Yes of course he will say he is impressed with what you do, he is doing his best to worm his way in to you agreeing to live with him and give him sex on tap. My guess is he wants free sex, pure and simple.
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All of them says that. Of course he has no problem with it when he is trying to wrap you around his finger. They show their true colours when you decide to end up relationship.
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This would alert me that he is to be avoided. We know what we do is not something to be ashamed of but for him to say that just does not sound right at all. Yes of course he will say he is impressed with what you do, he is doing his best to worm his way in to you agreeing to live with him and give him sex on tap. My guess is he wants free sex, pure and simple.
Stoke broker with money but very happy for you to continue doing this...that would be a No for me because the fact he has money but perfectly ok with you continuing its different if you said you are not giving it up and he has a low salary but he just seems like a user to me and tight wanting it for free.
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I have always stuck with the rule that I would never date anyone who walks through the door to pay me just like I would never want anyone who pays me to want to date or marry me. Pretty woman was a Hollywood movie and up to this day I have never met or known of any working girl who has met her Richard Gere. That?s why films are fantasy and the fact that other ladies have pointed out that he is in a well paid profession yet is fine for you to work is strange. He?s taking you for a ride to get a free ride. Stay well away!
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I have always stuck with the rule that I would never date anyone who walks through the door to pay me just like I would never want anyone who pays me to want to date or marry me. Pretty woman was a Hollywood movie and up to this day I have never met or known of any working girl who has met her Richard Gere. That?s why films are fantasy and the fact that other ladies have pointed out that he is in a well paid profession yet is fine for you to work is strange. He?s taking you for a ride to get a free ride. Stay well away!
I've always found this line of thinking quite sad because it reflects a deep rejection of what you do for a living that translates in low self-steem: "I don't deserved to be loved because of what I do, no man in his right frame of mind would want me, Once I find a decent way of living I'll find the right man etc... There's a lot of "self'sabotage" with that line of thinking. It's like that Groucho Marx quote: "I refuse to join a club that would have me as a member" (sans the irony).
I understand that being an escort you're a wee tired when you get home because you're tired of entertaining men but to close yourself that much emotionally? or shutting yourself to the possibility of affection? Life is short ;)
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I've always found this line of thinking quite sad because it reflects a deep rejection of what you do for a living that translates in low self-steem: "I don't deserved to be loved because of what I do, no man in his right frame of mind would want me, Once I find a decent way of living I'll find the right man etc... There's a lot of "self'sabotage" with that line of thinking. It's like that Groucho Marx quote: "I refuse to join a club that would have me as a member" sans the irony.
I understand that being an escort you're a wee tired when you get home because you're tired of entertaining men but to close yourself that much emotionally? or shutting yourself to the possibility of affection? Life is short ;)
I think she meant mainly punters she would not want to date which is her choice i never read it as she thinks nobody would respect her but i see a what she is trying to say some are happy dating clients some are not.
If i dated a client they would need to be quite special and if they had a very good job and was happy for me to keep doing this that would make me suspicious but each to there own everybody likes different situations for what is best for there way of thinking.
Not every situation is black and white and some ladies on here are quite happy being in a relationship where neither lie to each other
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I've always found this line of thinking quite sad because it reflects a deep rejection of what you do for a living that translates in low self-steem: "I don't deserved to be loved because of what I do, no man in his right frame of mind would want me, Once I find a decent way of living I'll find the right man etc... There's a lot of "self'sabotage" with that line of thinking. It's like that Groucho Marx quote: "I refuse to join a club that would have me as a member" sans the irony.
I understand that being an escort you're a wee tired when you get home because you're tired of entertaining men but to close yourself that much emotionally? or shutting yourself to the possibility of affection? Life is short ;)
I disagree cuz I think the same as Umrao I could never date a customer. And it's not just because I'm not attracted. The moment they step foot in my door to pay me to suck their dick, they are automatically disqualified. It's just a turn off for me. Even if they were young and good looking, which is very very few and far between, almost non existent, they still somehow appear unattractive when they hand over that cash. Not that buying sex is ugly. I didnt expect them to want to date me either (most want to date for freebies) knowing that I have sex with other men for a living. I know it's just a job, but if I had a bf and he was a male escort and I wasn't, I couldn't bare that. To think this guy that I care for and I like is having sex with other women. I wouldnt be ok with it. Same if he was having sex with other women for free, it will hurt me. Wether he is getting paid or not. But men aren't wired like that, they couldn't give a shit, so long as they get to fuck you, so it makes sense. I don't think Umrao comments reflects deep rejection and low self esteem. What we do is frowned upon a lot in society, so when a man is opened to and willing to date prostitutes, it seems odd. (Perhaps they get turned on knowing other men are paying for it, but he gets in for free(It's an ego booster for him) . Not that we don't think we deserve to be loved but....its hard to explain..Anyways., I take it you are ok with dating punters Ana?
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I think she meant mainly punters she would not want to date which is her choice i never read it as she thinks nobody would respect her but i see a what she is trying to say some are happy dating clients some are not.
If i dated a client they would need to be quite special and if they had a very good job and was happy for me to keep doing this that would make me suspicious but each to there own everybody likes different situations for what is best for there way of thinking.
Not every situation is black and white and some ladies on here are quite happy being in a relationship where neither lie to each other
I know, the whole low self esteem , deep rejection, self sabotage, unworthy of love and closing yourself off emotionally thing was a little bit too much and quite far fetched. How she got all of that from that one comment, I have no idea, and I couldn't help but cringe and be utterly confused whilst reading it. Some of you get wayyy too deep. It's really not that deep you know.
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I know, the whole low self esteem , deep rejection, self sabotage, unworthy of love and closing yourself off emotionally thing was a little bit too much and quite far fetched. How she got all of that from that one comment, I have no idea, and I couldn't help but cringe and be utterly confused whilst reading it. Some of you get wayyy too deep. It's really not that deep you know.
Yep i did not get that statement either a bit much looking too deep into something that could just be she does not want to date a client who pays for sex.
Saying that i think you could get a nice client that genuinely falls for a working girl and developes strong feelings but there is plenty also out there that hunt escorts to date for free and gets off on the challenge he now gets her for free without payment a big game to some and it is obvious if the man is making a very good salary and knows the woman does not want to do this type of work but she is in debt for example but he happy for her to still struggle that says everything i need to know about how much he likes her.
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I wish to remove this post
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I take it you are ok with dating punters Ana?
I don't date punters but I'm human and every once in a blue moon I have fancied a client. Sometimes (most of the times) he was married so I didn't acted on my feelings (kept them to myself :-), but a couple times the guy was single and available so ended up dating him. Eventually we broke off because of things that had nothing to do with my job but more with leaving the toilet seat up. I never stopped working, I don't regret those relationships either, they were fun while they lasted.
Truth is I've met some very decent men in this line of work. :)
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Just spoke with him. He has met lots of hookers --- he has confirmed he has asked to date them
Yes some get off on getting sex workers to date them for free. If he had really liked you and had strong feelings and you said for example this job is getting to me but he did not care that says a lot. He is a piss taker.
I had a client a while ago that told me he had dated quite a few escorts and was trying to get me to see him go for a drink for free etc i just laughed and said if you want to date girls go on a dating website why are you pacifically looming to date escorts.
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Just spoke with him. He has met lots of hookers --- he has confirmed he has asked to date them
I also had a client years ago that i got on with he was nice and new to this he wanted to date me but he said his wages were not the same as mine but he could try to help me if i gave it up as he would find it hard to be with me knowing i am fucking men for money and could only put up with it for a bit as he was uncomfortable with a gf of his doing this. I did like him but at the time i was earning good money and did not want to give it up so eventually we went our own way but he was a genuine guy and we kept in touch on and off for few years.
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Truth is there is a couple of good guys who do visit us and could make a good boyfriend but there is a fair few who get off on turning a sex worker into a freebie so they do not need to pay happens all the time. There is some that only date escorts and actively look for that.
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Truth is there is a couple of good guys who do visit us and could make a good boyfriend but there is a fair few who get off on turning a sex worker into a freebie so they do not need to pay happens all the time. There is some that only date escorts and actively look for that.
Yh have had few men say to me they ONLY ever date escorts. Why they feel the need to tell me this, I have no clue ::) none of my clients are boyfriend material though lol. 8)
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I've always found this line of thinking quite sad because it reflects a deep rejection of what you do for a living that translates in low self-steem: "I don't deserved to be loved because of what I do, no man in his right frame of mind would want me, Once I find a decent way of living I'll find the right man etc... There's a lot of "self'sabotage" with that line of thinking. It's like that Groucho Marx quote: "I refuse to join a club that would have me as a member" (sans the irony).
I understand that being an escort you're a wee tired when you get home because you're tired of entertaining men but to close yourself that much emotionally? or shutting yourself to the possibility of affection? Life is short ;)
Dear Ana30 I think you have completely misunderstood my point. I have a lot of self worth and have no rejection issues what so ever. I enjoy loving and being loved and I adore entertaining gentlemen but under no circumstances would I ever date a client no matter how good looking they are or how much money they have. I have met some very eligible men but the minute they walk through that door they are out of the equation for me in terms of dating.
My life outside of this profession I cherish and whether a man I date sees escorts is neither here nor there for me as long as I don?t know and he hasn?t seen me that?s what counts. I do not want to live this life 24/7 and that is how I would feel if I dated a client.
Life is too short and for me dating a client would be selling myself short.
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Dear Ana30 I think you have completely misunderstood my point. I have a lot of self worth and have no rejection issues what so ever. I enjoy loving and being loved and I adore entertaining gentlemen but under no circumstances would I ever date a client no matter how good looking they are or how much money they have. I have met some very eligible men but the minute they walk through that door they are out of the equation for me in terms of dating.
My life outside of this profession I cherish and whether a man I date sees escorts is neither here nor there for me as long as I don?t know and he hasn?t seen me that?s what counts. I do not want to live this life 24/7 and that is how I would feel if I dated a client.
Life is too short and for me dating a client would be selling myself short.
So you only date "civvie men" then? (sorry, just curious).
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So you only date "civvie men" then? (sorry, just curious).
If that?s what you call them then yes I only date ?civvie men?. I date anyone that has not not seen me as a WG :)
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I have/had a client who instantly felt that chemistry with. My age, similar background, shared kinks etc. Made for an amazing booking every time we met.
He then suggested he wanted to see more often but that "it would end up costing him a fortune" and could we come to some agreement? I thought he meant perhaps that he saw me twice every week and got a discount. What he did the next time he booked me, was instead offer me champagne as payment instead?
I just felt totally embarrassed and weird by it all and so stopped responding to his texts or attempts to book me. Eventually I told him that I couldn't believe he had basically booked me and then not paid.
He said it was because he no longer saw me as an WG and couldn't - saw me as more. Could we maybe try and just be not client and SP etc etc.
Basically, he just wants to fuck me for free. I am pretty sure he has and does do the same with loads of other girls in my area. His MO seems to be to book once or twice... then express how much chemistry you have and could see it being more. I was almost tempted.. but in the end went with my gut and then heard he did similar with another girl. Because he is very good looking, charming, successful etc - he probably thinks we will all fall for his Richard Gere act.
I would never ever consider dating a client now. I just wont blur that personal and professional line ever again.
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I have/had a client who instantly felt that chemistry with. My age, similar background, shared kinks etc. Made for an amazing booking every time we met.
He then suggested he wanted to see more often but that "it would end up costing him a fortune" and could we come to some agreement? I thought he meant perhaps that he saw me twice every week and got a discount. What he did the next time he booked me, was instead offer me champagne as payment instead?
I just felt totally embarrassed and weird by it all and so stopped responding to his texts or attempts to book me. Eventually I told him that I couldn't believe he had basically booked me and then not paid.
He said it was because he no longer saw me as an WG and couldn't - saw me as more. Could we maybe try and just be not client and SP etc etc.
Basically, he just wants to fuck me for free. I am pretty sure he has and does do the same with loads of other girls in my area. His MO seems to be to book once or twice... then express how much chemistry you have and could see it being more. I was almost tempted.. but in the end went with my gut and then heard he did similar with another girl. Because he is very good looking, charming, successful etc - he probably thinks we will all fall for his Richard Gere act.
I would never ever consider dating a client now. I just wont blur that personal and professional line ever again.
That situation is a absolute piss take turning up with a bottle of plonk expecting you to fuck him for free without any proper conversation about how you both like each other and to maybe let him take you on a dinner date and see how you get on but no he goes 1 better and turns up for an appointment with no cash!!!
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That situation is a absolute piss take turning up with a bottle of plonk expecting you to fuck him for free without any proper conversation about how you both like each other and to maybe let him take you on a dinner date and see how you get on but no he goes 1 better and turns up for an appointment with no cash!!!
After I stopped feeling mortified about it, I was furious!
He still kept trying for months and months to see for a "date". I said so where would you take me on this date? His response "Oh I prefer if we just meet in a hotel like always - feels seedier." - Total wanker.
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After I stopped feeling mortified about it, I was furious!
He still kept trying for months and months to see for a "date". I said so where would you take me on this date? His response "Oh I prefer if we just meet in a hotel like always - feels seedier." - Total wanker.
Yep total wanker just looking for the chase of free sex with a sex worker. The worst ones are the ones that are plain ugly unhygenic and full of themselves expecting to get it for free lol
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After I stopped feeling mortified about it, I was furious!
He still kept trying for months and months to see for a "date". I said so where would you take me on this date? His response "Oh I prefer if we just meet in a hotel like always - feels seedier." - Total wanker.
He was definately not looking for love :D
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Moderator. I wish to remove this post. Thank you
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Ladies. ...
I forgot to mention that he has been texting June after we first met
He expressed interested in bondage, bisexuals, he likes cross dressing,watching other guys ride me.
He said a normal woman would run a mile from him. I've no interest in his sexual behaviour either.
He feels now that I know his secret and he knows mine everything good. Won't stop me being a hooker.
By the sounds of it this guy sounds more interested in finding sex buddy interested in sharing his kinky sex life more than a partner or love interest (of course I might be wrong as I'm just hearing a small part of the story). Unless he takes you out on non sexual dates, talks about other stuff, shows other interests in you (besides sexual), talks about a future together and introduces you to his family I would personally not date this guy (just keep him as a client). If he insists on dating I would have him take me out on dates where no sex is involved, find out of we have any common interests and develop a true friendship. If he doesn't want to have none of that then you know where this is heading (fuck buddy terroritory) :D
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If that?s what you call them then yes I only date ?civvie men?. I date anyone that has not not seen me as a WG :)
It's your choice and that's ok. But I hope your realize the double morality/standards. I'm refering to the: "I charge for sex and it's ok but men who pay for sex are bad" school of thinking that is common amongst escorts. It reminds me of the punters who see themselves as "holly" but secretly slut shame the women they pay. That ol' punter forum mentality: "It's ok I pay prostitutes but I would never have anything to do with one" or "It makes me a macho man to pay women for sex but taking my money turns her into a slut/bad girl" thereby enforcing the stigma attached to sex work. Double standards operating on both sides (punters and prostitutes).
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I have a friend who is now shacked up with her ex customer and they appeared very happy, at first, although I do feel that the cash he gives her on a weekly basis, housekeeping money, helps as she couldn't handle this job at all and was drinking all the time to help her cope with it. Although he is pretty controlling with her and now doesn't like her being friends with girls that work, which, if you ask me is damn cheeky of him, he's also very needy and goes in huffs all the time and I genuinely believe that she stays with him because of his money and the fact that she'd have to go back to work if he wasn't there, she has 3 kids and can't live off of a normal job now.
Personally I couldn't date a client, I just wouldn't be able to take him seriously, and I'd expect that he'd see me in the same light, and I'd always wonder what his true intentions towards me were.
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I really cant see how saying you wont date a client is a double standard, nor does it mean you consider men who pay for sex bad. For the escort it is a job mostly, for the client however it is a hobby, and an addictive one so I can understand why someone wouldnt want to date a client.
There are probably all types of jobs where people wouldnt date others in the same job line as them, its not a double standard, its more likely that you know what comes with the job & experiences you have had may have helped with your choice.
I dated a client once and it turned out he was scum, thankfully it was only 6 months. It completely put me off doing it again. Any client who attempts to talk about chemistry or dating will go in my blacklist now. I wouldnt 100% rule it out, since things happen.
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I dated a client once and it turned out he was scum, thankfully it was only 6 months. It completely put me off doing it again. Any client who attempts to talk about chemistry or dating will go in my blacklist now. I wouldnt 100% rule it out, since things happen.
Sounds to me like the only time you opened your heart to a client you had a bad experience so I don't blame you at all for not wanting to do it again. I personally believe that behind all of these "I don't date clients" policies lies a broken heart and a bad experience (or two) so I don't blame you for wanting to protect yourself. But do keep in mind that women have found good partners with men that started as clients (it's not the norm, I know).
(By the way your friend sounds like she's in quite an unhealthy relashionship and the guy a controling freak)
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Sounds to me like the only time you opened your heart to a client you had a bad experience so I don't blame you at all for not wanting to do it again. I personally believe that behind all of these "I don't date clients" policies lies a broken heart and a bad experience (or two) so I don't blame you for wanting to protect yourself. But do keep in mind that women have found good partners with men that started as clients (it's not the norm, I know).
(By the way your friend sounds like she's in quite an unhealthy relashionship and the guy a controling freak)
I don't date clients not because I have a broken heart. Speak for yourself. I don't date clients cuz I don't find them attractive. Plain and simple. Nothing more, nothing less. But seeing as you want to read a lot into things. Allow me to do the same. Seems to me like you are emotionally needy Ana. Comes off as though you are reliant on any man. Paying you or not to satisfy your huge emotional needs. This is how you end up settling for less, cuz you will just lean on any man for emotional fondling or to fill some hole in your life. Some of us are strong enough to stand on our own and willing to wait for the right person, and for some of us, the right person isn't a man who paid us to lick his balls, it doesn't mean we are cold or heart broken. Perhaps it's called having a type? And Men who pay for sex aren't my type. Does that mean I have some underlying relationship trust issues then? You remind me of the clients who think that girls who do this job have either been sexually abused or have daddy issues ::)
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I have twice met a client that would have been perfect for me. Both times it was very obvious that we have a special connection and I am not the kind of girl that is easily smitten or impressed. However I did not act on it and on top decided not to see them again.
I don't show my face and this whole part of my life is a secret to everybody. So when the day comes that I eventually walk away from this job I will close the door on it and it'll be like it never happened. Dating a man that I met through this is far more likely to bring me problems and get me exposed and I choose not to take that risk.
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I don't date clients not because I have a broken heart. Speak for yourself. I don't date clients cuz I don't find them attractive. Plain and simple. Nothing more, nothing less. But seeing as you want to read a lot into things. Allow me to do the same. Seems to me like you are emotionally needy Ana. Comes off as though you are reliant on any man. Paying you or not to satisfy your huge emotional needs. This is how you end up settling for less, cuz you will just lean on any man for emotional fondling or to fill some hole in your life. Some of us are strong enough to stand on our own and willing to wait for the right person, and for some of us, the right person isn't a man who paid us to lick his balls, it doesn't mean we are cold or heart broken. Perhaps it's called having a type? And Men who pay for sex aren't my type. Does that mean I have some underlying relationship trust issues then? You remind me of the clients who think that girls who do this job have either been sexually abused or have daddy issues ::)
Not really. I've been happily single for a long time, actually I've been single more than I've been with a partner during my whole life truth is, and that's totally fine because I don't need a man to make me happy (I'm pretty good at doing that for myself). Of course I do have emotional needs just like you and everyone here, problem is I'm quite picky when it comes to being in a relationship. He either contributes to my happiness and wellbeing or it's not going to happen. I simply refuse to be in a bad relationship because life is too short. I'm financially independent so I don't need to put up with anyone's BS in my personal life. Of course I'm open for the right person to come along. However if that doesn't happen life is good. Of course I do have my flaws though, but being desperate and reliant on a man? Nah.. that's definately not one of them. I do have some very attractive and decent folks as clients though ;)
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I don't date clients not because I have a broken heart. Speak for yourself. I don't date clients cuz I don't find them attractive. Plain and simple. Nothing more, nothing less. But seeing as you want to read a lot into things.
I'm quite neutral on the subject. If there's a very wealthy man (likely with loads of assets and cash), who fell for an escort (money-conscious as we are) and he would be smitten etc, I would say, most women would consider the offer, seriously, be it civvie or escort ladies. The reality is, he may not be as good looking as Hollywood actors (someone else aptly mentioned earlier), he's more likely wrinkly, creased up, droopy, saggy ass, much older (I'm getting older myself and I know we all sag at some point), but likely a good father figure, offering fatherly care, support and guidance, with a heart of gold. I should think women would seriously consider the long-term prospect with a guy like that.
Lots of posts/threads on "falling for punters" are all about hopping in bed together and had great sex/infatuation, not much about "real stuff". We all grow old, get ill, need support etc. A "sexy hunk" wouldn't look at you twice if you're no longer a sexy thing. They might if you have something to offer, but someone who looks at you as a sex kitten to get his rock off wouldn't suddenly consider the same lady as a long-term prospect.
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I'd definitely marry some old rich guy if he left me all his money don't care how ugly 😂 Can dream anyway.
I'm quite neutral on the subject. If there's a very wealthy man (likely with loads of assets and cash), who fell for an escort (money-conscious as we are) and he would be smitten etc, I would say, most women would consider the offer, seriously, be it civvie or escort ladies. The reality is, he may not be as good looking as Hollywood actors (someone else aptly mentioned earlier), he's more likely wrinkly, creased up, droopy, saggy ass, much older (I'm getting older myself and I know we all sag at some point), but likely a good father figure, offering fatherly care, support and guidance, with a heart of gold. I should think women would seriously consider the long-term prospect with a guy like that.
Lots of posts/threads on "falling for punters" are all about hopping in bed together and had great sex/infatuation, not much about "real stuff". We all grow old, get ill, need support etc. A "sexy hunk" wouldn't look at you twice if you're no longer a sexy thing. They might if you have something to offer, but someone who looks at you as a sex kitten to get his rock off wouldn't suddenly consider the same lady as a long-term prospect.
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Sounds like a classic freebie hunter. Paid one time and think you would be naive enough to be taken advantage of. Asking him to keep a secret and be worthy of dating him puts you in a vulnerable position, giving it away without him even convincing you, it looks really bad. As vc said run for the hills.
Sorry hun, he doesn?t seem like a bf material at all. Xx
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I have a client who has really fallen for me and wants a relationship. I have feelings for him too and been seeing me almost a year now.
He sees me weekly so is a good source of income for me and cannot afford to lose this regular income.
So not sure how this could work.
Was thinking to suggest we could give it a go if he pays me a monthly allowance so more like a sugar daddy agreement.
I guess we are both lonely but love each other's company.
Would appreciate any feedback if you have done this or come up with other suggestions.
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I have a client who has really fallen for me and wants a relationship. I have feelings for him too and been seeing me almost a year now.
He sees me weekly so is a good source of income for me and cannot afford to lose this regular income.
So not sure how this could work.
Was thinking to suggest we could give it a go if he pays me a monthly allowance so more like a sugar daddy agreement.
I guess we are both lonely but love each other's company.
Would appreciate any feedback if you have done this or come up with other suggestions.
If he still has to pay you per month like an arrangement then that is not really a relationship is it?
If he could afford to pay you and you quit work just for him that is a bit different.
Sounds like you do not want to lose the weekly money so not sure if you actually really want a relationship with him anyway?
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I have a client who has really fallen for me and wants a relationship. I have feelings for him too and
So not sure how this could work
Was thinking to suggest we could give it a go if he pays me a monthly allowance so more like a sugar daddy agreement.
Yes, it's definitely a form of denial going on.
It's a little like, figuring out how to turn a baseball ball into a cricket ball? ???
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Sounds like you do not want to lose the weekly money so not sure if you actually really want a relationship with him anyway?
Plus, the relationship is not the same as having a weekly shag and having a little chat afterwards.... No payment, no love by the sound of it. ;D
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I'm caught in two minds. My aim is to leave this business this year and start my own business non escort related. The sooner I have the capital the sooner I can quit and intend to keep seeing him.
He wants things to progress quicker. We text and chat a lot which I don't do with other clients plus he gets other privileges too.
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Something incredible happened to me today, something that has NEVER happened in this job or my personal life and I can't make sense of it.
I had a new client who contacted me for a Dom style session. He gave me some background info about how he is so controlled and busy in his life that he needs to submit the control to someone else (the usual). Great stuff. Was expecting a middle aged businessman, who is normally the person who fits that bill. When I opened my door, I was absolutely floored. He was young, well around my age, and obviously very attractive. But that wasn't what floored me - when our eyes met, something I can't even explain happened. I meet handsome men all the time, they don't phase me and I don't get giddy over them- it wasnt the ridiculous handsomeness. It was as if I knew him already, or I don't know what. But I knew at that moment something incredible was about to take place.
And it did. The session was like the kind of passionate, dominant sex with us both dripping in sweat I always wished my personal sex would be but has never been. The kind of shit shown in movies.
Afterwards, it was as though he could read my mind . When we looked at each other it was like we shared a secret joke. I know, I know, I'm hearing myself say this and am sickened by myself because I just don't feel this way about relationship or men. I have never even considered dating a client, even the crazy handsome ones who ask me out, or the super rich ones that I'd happily enjoy sharing a luxurious lifestyle with.
I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TODAY!!! He has since text me saying that I threw him off guard and he wasn't expecting what happened to take place. I haven't replied, I need to remain professional. But I'd really like to ask him to marry me ;D ;D
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Something incredible happened to me today, something that has NEVER happened in this job or my personal life and I can't make sense of it.
I had a new client who contacted me for a Dom style session. He gave me some background info about how he is so controlled and busy in his life that he needs to submit the control to someone else (the usual). Great stuff. Was expecting a middle aged businessman, who is normally the person who fits that bill. When I opened my door, I was absolutely floored. He was young, well around my age, and obviously very attractive. But that wasn't what floored me - when our eyes met, something I can't even explain happened. I meet handsome men all the time, they don't phase me and I don't get giddy over them- it wasnt the ridiculous handsomeness. It was as if I knew him already, or I don't know what. But I knew at that moment something incredible was about to take place.
And it did. The session was like the kind of passionate, dominant sex with us both dripping in sweat I always wished my personal sex would be but has never been. The kind of shit shown in movies.
Afterwards, it was as though he could read my mind . When we looked at each other it was like we shared a secret joke. I know, I know, I'm hearing myself say this and am sickened by myself because I just don't feel this way about relationship or men. I have never even considered dating a client, even the crazy handsome ones who ask me out, or the super rich ones that I'd happily enjoy sharing a luxurious lifestyle with.
I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TODAY!!! He has since text me saying that I threw him off guard and he wasn't expecting what happened to take place. I haven't replied, I need to remain professional. But I'd really like to ask him to marry me ;D ;D
It sounds as tough there was really a connection.
It has happened to me once doing this job. Bear in mind I am in my fifties, but one guy who had been to see me twice and we got on really well, the third time something similar happened. We were in the middle of the booking and I felt a really strong electricity between us, I thought, wow this feels more like a date than a booking. Afterwards he text me and said pretty much the same thing.
Long story short....yes I did fall for him....see never too old!! we are both single and did see each other for a while, but I managed to keep my guard up and eventually when I put a stop to it he text me to say he missed me etc....but unless he was prepared to have me in his life fully, I was not about to be his guilty secret.
So I totally get where you are coming from. The advice is generally to be cautious and not get involved. But then, life is also for living and if you are both single who knows! x
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So he messaged and asked me out. :FF :FF
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So he messaged and asked me out. :FF :FF
I knew this would happen! Just reply I never date my clients but you can make a booking if you like.
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Usually I'd say never date a client but that sounds like what happened when I met my ex husband, go for it, maybe he's the one!
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Ok, so have agreed to go on a date with him out of sheer curiosity. But I am now faced with another problem - he has booked a really fancy restaurant, which I normally love, but it's the kind of place clients take me when on dinner dates. I don't want to feel that I am in work. I want to show him real me rather than work me. I really want to go somewhere non-pretentious, where I don't feel as though I am on display (like I do with clients). But I am always wary of telling him this because then the realisation that I am an escort will kick in and may put him off.
*As a side note, he had never booked an escort before me and actually came to me for a domination session (but then gave in to the obvious strong sexual energy floating about), so I genuinely don't think he's like every other client who books escorts then tries their luck with asking them out otherwise I would have said no on the spot, like I do with every other client who asks me out.
HELP! My date is this week!
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^I really want to go somewhere non-pretentious, where I don't feel as though I am on display (like I do with clients).^
Do you want him to know the real you, with all your escorting hilarious/gross moments?
If so then I'd let him take you somewhere posh for food and then say "how about we get the fuck out of here and go somewhere more interesting?"
You can take him to a local live gig, or back to your hotel room.
Dating clients casually can be great but you have to bear in mind that a lot of them won't get feelings involved, they just want someone pretty on their arm for certain events and someone they click with in bed.
Guard your heart, but take what they offer.
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Dating clients casually can be great but you have to bear in mind that a lot of them won't get feelings involved, they just want someone pretty on their arm for certain events and someone they click with in bed.
So basically, exactly like work?!! If this is what it turns out to be, I'll pass. I can get paid for that shit.
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Don't complicate things, just go to the restaurant with him and see how it goes-you'll probably forget about going to that kind of place with clients once you start chatting with him!
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I know, thank you. I am just SOOO nervous. I haven't had a proper date in over 4 years, which was with my ex.
I've already googled the shit out of him. He even has a Wikipedia listing due to his current status in a certain sporting field.
I just have this fear that he'll see me in a normal setting and the rose tinted glasses will fall off. He saw me in sexy bitch mode, in my own work place and under my terms. Totally overthinking this :-S I'll let you know how it goes - it's tomorrow!