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Author Topic: Dating for SWers  (Read 850 times)

bbbc2024

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Dating for SWers
« on: 23 November 2024, 08:18:29 pm »
Bit of a random one, ladies.. but does anybody know of any dating events run by sex workers for sex workers?  I am (FF leaning) bi and would actually really love to date someone who is also in the industry, but I'm not really sure how to meet other like-minded women. I know a couple of people in the industry now but they are straight.

Thanks! :)

ana30

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Re: Dating for SWers
« Reply #1 on: 27 November 2024, 10:21:16 am »
Not sure about the dating bit but there’s a need in the market
For real life networking/dating parties or events that would get sex workers together (from escorts, to webcammers, actors, BDSM etc… Any entrepreneurs out there?  :D
"Sex work is real work, being a landlord isn't" - Graffitti seen on a wall.

xw5

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Re: Dating for SWers
« Reply #2 on: 27 November 2024, 03:13:17 pm »
There are privacy issues involved in having one - some have been organised by regulars here and the 'breakfast' events run by activists in East London had a good reputation, but not everyone is going to want to go to a networking event run by someone they don't have some basis to trust. Especially if they're charging for it.

I'm not sure if there's a tactful way to say this, but one of the reasons I do sex work activism is that some people make another community I am involved with seem positively normal. It's not particularly surprising: both sets have had to go "I don't care what the rest of the world thinks about (community), I'm going to.." and that means some are unsurprisingly characters.
'The Ian formerly known as SW5'. What they said: "Indispensable", "You are our best resource", and (hours later!) "I'm afraid that you're being made redundant..."

Vintage Miss

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Re: Dating for SWers
« Reply #3 on: 27 November 2024, 03:52:51 pm »
I guess there is also a numbers issue; most escorts are women, and most women are either totally straight to straight leaning. I wouldn't be surprised at all if a larger percentage of escort are bisexual, than the broader population but its still finding a niche of people within a niche, before you get to all the other general compatibility stuff. And straight/straight-leaning male escort/sex workers aren't really a thing, other than a few wannabes and posers here and there.

I totally get you though,  after lots of dating issues relating to my profession, I've often thought, wouldn't it be nice to date/build a relationship with another escort theoretically at least.

You could try set up a WhatsApp group or something similar for bi/lesbian escorts open to dating, which might make the 'niche in a niche' thing less of a problem because something digital is less location restrictive.

tiffy2024

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Re: Dating for SWers
« Reply #4 on: 27 November 2024, 04:30:27 pm »
I am struggling to find someone reliable and trustworthy. From all the years of doing the job on and off I’ve realised who you’re around affects your mood. I’m motivated for big change, I sometimes wish I had someone to share my journey with.

xw5

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Re: Dating for SWers
« Reply #5 on: 27 November 2024, 04:48:41 pm »
I wouldn't be surprised at all if a larger percentage of escort are bisexual, than the broader population

Definitely.

Quote
And straight/straight-leaning male escort/sex workers aren't really a thing

One of the things that happened twenty or so years ago was that the proportion of male escorts with a straight identity greatly increased. The project I'm most familiar with went from 0% straight to 9% straight in terms of its clients. They were doing men, but it was definitely a 'gay for pay' situation, taking advantage of the gay scene's fetish. The bisexual-identified numbers also shot up.

In Sydney, another project found over half of its male escorts had a straight or bi 'private' identity. All of them had male clients (just under 10% had female ones too).
'The Ian formerly known as SW5'. What they said: "Indispensable", "You are our best resource", and (hours later!) "I'm afraid that you're being made redundant..."

Vintage Miss

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Re: Dating for SWers
« Reply #6 on: 27 November 2024, 07:03:25 pm »
I am struggling to find someone reliable and trustworthy. From all the years of doing the job on and off I’ve realised who you’re around affects your mood. I’m motivated for big change, I sometimes wish I had someone to share my journey with.

This. I avoid dating because if/when it goes wrong I suffer emotionally and I struggle to have the emotional energy to work consistently, and it affects other things, like my physical health and financial stability and they then have a knock on effect. For me anyway, I've concluded that many of the people I've dated have seen my occupation has a justification for poor treatment. It just wasn't worth the risk for me. Would be good to have someone who was in the sex industry and, crucially, didn't have any internalised shame/stigma around it.

Vintage Miss

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Re: Dating for SWers
« Reply #7 on: 27 November 2024, 07:11:37 pm »
Definitely.

One of the things that happened twenty or so years ago was that the proportion of male escorts with a straight identity greatly increased. The project I'm most familiar with went from 0% straight to 9% straight in terms of its clients. They were doing men, but it was definitely a 'gay for pay' situation, taking advantage of the gay scene's fetish. The bisexual-identified numbers also shot up.

In Sydney, another project found over half of its male escorts had a straight or bi 'private' identity. All of them had male clients (just under 10% had female ones too).

Thats interesting, yea I didn't think about gay for pay guys tbh when I was typing the above. I did once date a guy who identified as straight when I met him, then took an interest in the business through me, started trying to get female clients, and struggled (other than a few mmd/cuckold situations), so went the gfp route then began identifying as bisexual and after we stopped seeing each other started mainly seeing men I think. I suppose the internet has opened doors that in the past people wouldn't have considered opening or 'for them'.