i really want to share this email i got last year....i remember reading this thinking: after 2 minutes i will want to scream in major aggravated irritation....this is just, i mean seriously, has got to be unreal....this is a rather long email but very entertaining...let me know what you all think of it....

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Hi !

How are you ? at the outset can i take the permission from you that if i could call you  only Karen ? Sorry, though i am 19 years younger to you ,But, believe me i want to take service from you only. because i was dreaming for a person like you.

I want to take service from you? Will it be possible for you to spare 1 day - 24 hrs for me. i have seen your website. let me tell you i have decided to spend my 1 day with you only. and got satisfaction that i came on the correct site.

I want satisfaction. I am sure you will give me. I will be at your place soon. On 20th January 2010

Whatever picture i could see from the website, i can make out that you will satisfy me.

Could you tell me exact rates as well for 24 hrs. though it is mentioned on the site. 

Timing i am proposing is 2pm to next day 2pm.

I will be requiring satisfaction in following ways - if you also suggest me and add to it or object it, i would be happy. - ( I don't know what you will think on following lines but, it's important for me to know in advance that will you be able to satisfy me in following way or not - timing given in the following program is tentative
 Date - 10th January 2010 -
 
1) 2 pm - will meet at the hotel where i am staying at central london
2) 2.10pm to 2.30pm - will have a chat along with a juice in the room
3) 3 pm to 3.15 - you will attract me towards you. I will kiss your lips and you also reply with same energy.
4) 3.15pm to 3.30pm - again talk between you and me on the way that how we can satisfy each other)
5) 3.30pm to 4pm - there are around 25 parts of the body - (of yours as well as mine) will be kissed by me and you from over the cloths - a round

6) 4.15pm to 5pm - slowly removal of each cloth of each other with following of above process of kissing all major parts of the body each other.

7) 5.30 to 6.30 - a short sleep on the bed. ( With various kisses as well as discussion)

6.45pm to 7.15 pm - Light snacks - this time will eat snacks jointly. Means - You will bite a peace of snacks and will remove from your mouth and then the same peace will be eaten by me.

9) 7.30pm to 8.30pm - Sight seeing ( If you agree to)

10) 9 pm to - Dinner at hotel or outside. I think we should take dinner inside the room - so that we will get more time together. (Again almost same process will followed, like i mentioned about snacks above. But, only difference this time will be number of times you will directly transfer the food from your mouth to my mouth.)

11) 10 pm - talk

12) 10.30pm - a glass of milk or juice.

13) 10.45pm --- Night fun starts------- because by this time you have become more familiar to me and same from my side. So, whatever acts of sex we are , were hesitant to perform we will do that. Ex - I wish to kiss you while doing toilet etc.

a) Will undress each other completely and will go to sleep
b) We will sleep together
c) I wish to drink your milk if possible

14) 8.30am - breakfast - together
15) 9am to 10am - Bath together
16) 10.30am to 12am - a short sleep after bath
17) 12pm to 1 pm - Lunch together - difference this time will be ------- i will try to kiss you after each peace of the lunch. ( Vegetarian)
18) 1.15pm to 1.45pm --- talk and handing over your gift to you.
19) 1.45pm to 1.55pm - Final lip kissing

I hope you will agree to this. If you agree then i will think that in reality my search has finished.

pls get back to me at the earliest.


Thank you,


Dinesh

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i quoted my price for the extreme detail involved in the date, to which he sent this email:
_________________________________________
Fine. No issues.

i wish to go ahead for 24 hrs meeting if you agree to the itinerary i mentioned. i wish your remark ( i want to know on)  on point 13 (C)

give me bank details etc.

thanks

______________________________________________
so i said:
I don't have breastmilk if that is what u wanted. Only a woman who has just given birth has breastmilk!

_______________________________________

and he said:
No service from you. thank you
______________________________
and i said:
That's wonderful news!

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what's your opinions ladies? mad nutter or just someone having a laugh ?

Oh - My - God! 

I started off finding this very amusing and then became increasingly disturbed..

The sheer point-by-point, minute-by-minute detail is verging on the OCD and if genuine, this guy is a complete and utter control freak..

I have come across most pecadilloes before, but taking food out of your mouth to feed to him ( at 6.45pm ) is something I have only seen in a birds nest before!  The *doing toilet* and drinking breast-milk are run-of -the-mill, but someone with a huge mother-issue perhaps?

Personally, I wouldn't provide any of the unusual requests,  - but to kiss him/stop/sex/stop/chat/stop/juice drink/stop/caress/stop etc etc all timed to the minute makes my skin crawl! 

Could you seriously imagine spending even half an hour with this person in his insane version of reality?? 

Always gets me when a guy goes through a reasonably detailed enquiry regards a long booking, then declines on one very specialised point that he didn't mention upfront. Surely if there was something absolutely pivotal to the booking, that some ladies don't offer as standard (or dependent upon some quite specific circumstances) you'd mention it first of all?

when i read this, esp the passing food to one another, i was already completely annoyed thinking i couldnt take meeting this guy and think even if he paid me ?10,000 i would want more ? to just put up with his stupid shit....i cant even conceive of doing any of these things. i did in my reply ask him where these 25 points in the body are, but he didnt tell me! shit! i was fascinated by that haha....excruciating isnt it?  it just seems this couldnt possibly be real, as he knew that he wouldnt meet me cuz its just too freakin insane!

hahaha....oh my god,  i think that is a very close second to my first....bloody hell! we would need auto cues for these meetings!! hee hee....did you reply? mad nutter yes

Let me seee.... Apparently so!
   

Quote

"Slave,

Please buy a microwave meal for one of cheese macaroni with a small ready-packaged side salad, and a curly-wurly. Don't think I can do a booking though, sorry darling!

Mistress Kitty
xoxo"

I'm such a meany.

LMAO
Nice one.
Awww poor guy!

I replied to the Surrey curry guy...I thanked him for giving us all a good laugh and we wondered why some were offered curry and some not....he replied..........."nice to know that i am an object of discussion, though for wrong reasons but who cares really

anyway you sound much more sensible so thank you"

I wonder what other replies he had if mine was a sensible one??? lmao.

Bless them all.....the nutters!

Coty xxx

To be honest, I find these emails are fantasists
and never result in a booking.

My standard reply to them is:
TLDR*




*Too Long Didn't Read