SAAFE forum
General Category => Blather and Babble => Topic started by: Rubyroo on 02 March 2018, 10:45:35 am
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Sorry if this has already been covered! I've had a nosey and can't seem to spot anything.
I recently posted about losing motivation (thank you for the replies, I am taking a break).
I'm a keen horse rider, used to compete but I stopped when other things got in the way. I've spotted some gorgeous Friesians, over in Holland! Their price has certainly motivated me and I'll be returning to work in April. Escorting is my full time job so I'm currently living off small savings after wasting the rest haha.
What's the biggest thing you've bought that makes you proud? Or what are you aiming for? :)
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Love this!
I bought a new bed (not for work, just for me) that cost over 1k I could never have afforded otherwise, have also travelled a lot and want to travel more, again something I never did before. Very proud of that and want to continue. I always thought I would want to upgrade my car but I can't bear to spend that much in one go!
;D
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Haha I find the hardest part is spending one chunk of savings in one go! When I saved for my boobs I hated parting with a big lump sum. I kept thinking of all the other things I could of bought!
I've done a bit of travelling, certainly want to do more!
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No enormous spends on myself but had a swanky new bathroom fitted in my home which I could not have easily afforded if not doing this work.
Being able to book holidays without saving for them, my biggest achievement financially has been to secure my future. If I had worked all these years and squandered the lot it would all have been in vain. It was never going to happen to me as I have never been tempted to blow my money on frivolities.
A treat day for me would be buying some heavenly scented body lotion and a new cushion from John Lewis ;D
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Can we make sure this stays sex work related, please? :)
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Sorry Amy just meant bought through money earnt doing sex work :) xx
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A wachine machine after months of having to use laundrettes for not only my clothes but countless towels and sheets (I?ll be damned if anyone says it?s not an achievement ;D)
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Ive just put down a deposit on a new build 3 bed house!!!!
Absolutely bursting with excitement!!!!
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Ive just put down a deposit on a new build 3 bed house!!!!
Absolutely bursting with excitement!!!!
Oh wow that's amazing!! Congratulations!!!!
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Last year I saved up for my 50th birthday trip which was worth it . :)
Now I'm saving again as I have no pension it will be an achievement in itself if I can be disciplined .
Putting that booking money aside each time feeling proud when I get to my ?2.000 goal by December :)
It probably dosnt sound like much to other people but I really am bad at saving .
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Getting clean from Heroin and having lots of cash (sometimes) and getting that craving after a particularly bad day and still not going on the hunt for smack. It?s not a great achievement to some but if any of you had seen the way I was previously living (think Shameless or Benefits Street) then it?s like I?ve climbed Mount Everest!! Heroin was my everything, my best friend, my lover, my therapist, you get the drift.
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Getting clean from Heroin and having lots of cash (sometimes) and getting that craving after a particularly bad day and still not going on the hunt for smack. It?s not a great achievement to some but if any of you had seen the way I was previously living (think Shameless or Benefits Street) then it?s like I?ve climbed Mount Everest!! Heroin was my everything, my best friend, my lover, my therapist, you get the drift.
Good on you xx
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Getting clean from Heroin and having lots of cash (sometimes) and getting that craving after a particularly bad day and still not going on the hunt for smack. It?s not a great achievement to some but if any of you had seen the way I was previously living (think Shameless or Benefits Street) then it?s like I?ve climbed Mount Everest!! Heroin was my everything, my best friend, my lover, my therapist, you get the drift.
It's an amazing achievement! My best friend who also works went through the same and I saw her struggles. It's not easy! Xx
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Thanks Sugar and Rubyroo, it was a bloody struggle big time and if you can beat smack then you can pretty much do anything! I didn?t get any counselling (well I went four times during a 6 year addiction) either because they were text book counsellors and hadn?t ever had drug habits themselves so imo they had not a clue about what a drug addiction was like, yeah maybe one of their friends or family had been addicted but it?s not the same as going through it yourselves. It?s similar to social workers (not keen on them in the slightest) who don?t have kids, who have never been in a violent relationship, never smoked a cigarette in their lives, much less a joint, and they go to University, read s few books, volunteer in homeless shelters etc, etc, for ?experience? and then come into your home and lay down the law and yet they have no bad life experience, they learned everything in a classroom and to me then that?s the kind of social workers people aren?t keen on, my sw was a Muslim and brought her religion into how she felt my life should be conducted :FF and I spoke to her boss about it and he said, ?well xxxx after reading your case notes I?ve decided that xxxx is the right sw for your family? -aka we?re short staffed- and he hadn?t even met me in his life!!
Sorry for going way off topic but I get angry thinking of that time when I had zero credibility with the authorities because I was a drug addict!!
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Having the courage to embrace change for me usually I would have backed out.
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I've gained the ability to set and maintain boundaries - I no longer do stuff that I don't want to do, or that is detrimental to my business, just because someone asked me and I didn't want to say no.
I also know I'm making a difference in people's lives. The majority of guys may just want to get sex but sometimes there are other issues at play. I used to see a guy with terminal cancer. After our first meeting he said "Thank you for making me feel like a human being again and not a collection of symptoms."
Also I've massively increased my income and now have the prospect of buying a house for the first time in my life.
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A nice house here, an apartment in New Zealand and four horses :). not all through this work though as I have a job and a small business, but probably wouldn't have been able to achieve this if I hadn't done escorting :).
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A nice house here, an apartment in New Zealand and four horses :). not all through this work though as I have a job and a small business, but probably wouldn't have been able to achieve this if I hadn't done escorting :).
You're living my dream! Haha this is what I'm hoping to achieve now, instead of wasting money on rubbish!
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I have worked for a long time I would say I have wasted money and saved up
my savings always came in Handy when I needed them. I was able to always spoil
my Nan . I have helped people out also but its just having financial security when you want a take away you can have one you can go where you want ect . I have also made big purchases and I can afford to feed my dog like a King and keep him in nice stuff I spent 270 on a tweed suit made for him hahaha I like him to be the best dressed dog and well pampered . I also payed alot of huge debt off years ago that I had from being a student Im now saving for a house x
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Being able to ditch my asshole of a boyfriend and land on my feet ;D
Being able to live in my dream home :D
Being able to save for future things :D
But most of all, having the security of knowing that I can pay my bills, fill my fridge, go on nice outings and still have some to put away for future ;D
When I first started, I wasted a lot on things that I didn't need: clothes; jewellery; bags; shoes; holidays; expensive champagne... Etc etc. I am thankful I did that, however, as I now really respect the money I earn and know that in order for me to achieve my goals, I can't waste it all. And I haven't once bought a ridiculously priced thing just because I could.
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Also, the BIGGEST thing for me is being able to set my own work schedule and be there for my family.
My mum asked me "but what are you actual aims, surely you can't want to do this for the rest of your life?".
My response "my aim is to experience life, and spend as much time with my family as possible. That's all. I don't want to be a CEO of a massive company, I don't want to work 60 hour weeks any more. I just want to be able to enjoy the life I work hard for".
That response seemed to be suffice.
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How long were you girls working for before you found the motivation to start saving instead of spending?
This is the start of my 3rd year doing this job and now I'm slowly becoming less interested in just wasting it... but I can't help but feel guilty for not saving anything this entire time!
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How long were you girls working for before you found the motivation to start saving instead of spending?
This is the start of my 3rd year doing this job and now I'm slowly becoming less interested in just wasting it... but I can't help but feel guilty for not saving anything this entire time!
Don?t feel guilty at all! Spend half and save half, or at least 40% of it. I must?ve spent about ?1000 per week on my old Heroin addiction :FF and when I think of it now I want to cry!!
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How long were you girls working for before you found the motivation to start saving instead of spending?
This is the start of my 3rd year doing this job and now I'm slowly becoming less interested in just wasting it... but I can't help but feel guilty for not saving anything this entire time!
A bit off topic but straight away, only because I'm generally shit with money and had no idea how much I would earn doing this, how long it would last etc. I was earning much more than I needed to live on so after my bills I treated myself a bit and saved the rest, knowing that I might need that money at any time. This makes me look very sensible but the truth is I'm not, I've been terrible with money before but I've been in a few situations where I've struggled with money and I don't want to be there again. As long as I have some put away I don't worry if I'm ill or can't work for any reason. I do also cam though and do a few other things, all self employed adult stuff.
Back on topic, for me that's actually my biggest achievement, being able to put money aside, never done that before. :D
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Personally I was motivated to work harder in my career and then this because I had a big tragedy happen in my life so after a year of not speaking eating and so on I eventually got better and was able to return to my job and then decided I wanted to make more so started escorting when I could (my job isn't nine to five) then started my little business so have been able to save over the years and get my properties, also I always had horses, I have also wasted a bit on luxuries when I started escorting because it isn't always the easiest job in the world and we DO deserve to spoil ourselves so not it isn't really wasting :), so for me personally It was a bit different because all I wanted to do was get on and always be busy earning in order to forget what I'd been through as I'd lost the most important part of my life, but for you I would say just think of your goals and go about achieving them the best you can oh and keep treating yourself now and again otherwise their's no point doing this job xx.
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I've been going about a year and a half.
I have managed to clear 10K of debt, buy a holiday for extended family members including some kids who had never been away from home before, bought a family member an old car so they could keep their job. Buy a new sofa, a new computer and a new bed.
Now wanting to take the time to improve my health and fitness and pay for a decent holiday for myself and then think about saving up a house deposit and move out of the dump I live in to somewhere nicer.
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How long were you girls working for before you found the motivation to start saving instead of spending?
Right from day one and my first dip into this job I started saving. Couldn't believe my luck and how easy and enjoyable it all was (and is to a slightly lesser degree) but I began buying myself little things I could not do before and was able to tart up my house without having to save and I think that was better than any new overpriced shoes etc. Now I think about it I have continued in that manner, spending a little and saving at the same time. Without taking advantage of the huge increase in earnings it would have been much more tedious. Holidays, as I have mentioned before, are another luxury affordable because of this job. I was once so strapped for cash before I did this work, I took two weeks holiday in pay instead of time off. Now that depressed me!
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This thread is a real morale booster! :)
Congratulations JAH ! This is big.
Recently I took my sorry bottom back to the 12 steps fellowship after years of thinking that I'm fine.
Thanks to sex work and being self-employed I am self-sufficient. With ups and downs.
Now, I suppose that if I was spending as much time on my marketing as on reading Saafe, I could also include in this post more of financial achievements :D
It's great to see personal achievements that are not just financial. Well done both of you, JAH and 80's. I would add to mine that peace of mind which is essentially from the higher income. There have been many times I've struggled to pay bills and sometimes not been able to. When you are in that situation even getting to a point where bills are covered with nothing left over is an achievement but to be able to pay my bills, and save, and treat myself if I want is such a weight off my mind. :)
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JAH total admiration for you being able to clean up your act. It's a HUGE achievement. And totally agree about social workers and their ilk, so many of them don't have the same life experience and they are PAID to try and intervene in your life (sorry, I know off topic!)
Ok, my biggest achievement is being able to admit to my friends what I do and hold my head up high as a self-supporting lone parent that says "hey, it's the 21st century, the social norms are bloody changing and get with the picture". The oldest profession has become modern and plenty of women enjoy this work. We provide a very import service, we make people human again, we listen to people, we meet their sexual needs etc. etc. I have had people say "I wish I had your confidence" etc., obviously the comments behind my back I don't hear, but I don't give a shit (even though I live in a tiny village). I no longer care what people say, I'm nearly 50 and frankly i'm kinda deaf! (probably helps!)
All I say is 'hoorah for us!' ;)
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Amen to that foxylady!! :)
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This thread is wonderful! I had a HUGE break due to family finding out and mental health and went back to civvie work 45 hours a week for minimum wage. I hit rock bottom and became homeless and penniless. Since starting again, in one month, I have a new build apartment and savings towards new furniture. Seems like a small achievement but its huge to me. I appreciate money so much more now I went completely broke. I can now support my family and possibly, eventually be able to start saving on luxuries like holidays.
Im very grateful im able to do this job. :-)
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JAH total admiration for you being able to clean up your act. It's a HUGE achievement. And totally agree about social workers and their ilk, so many of them don't have the same life experience and they are PAID to try and intervene in your life (sorry, I know off
Thanks very much xx
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Amen to that foxylady!! :)
Thanks too xx
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Wow ladies - just Wow - such an inspiring thread.
For me similar to many of you. Being able to match my previous income as a social worker before fired/total breakdown! And saved and bought a house and not being dependent on anyone and not being stressed (mostly ;D) and just feeling like a fantastic, independent WOMAN! And my disabled clients who make my heart sing ;D
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Marianne, i love that, the independent woman' bit!
In this job we really can be wholly 'steering our own ship', and despite its niggles, it's definitely a good feeling.
To earn enough to not be reliant on anyone else is an amazing achievement. Well done you xxx
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Marianne, i love that, the independent woman' bit!
In this job we really can be wholly 'steering our own ship', and despite its niggles, it's definitely a good feeling.
To earn enough to not be reliant on anyone else is an amazing achievement. Well done you xxx
;D :-*