SAAFE forum
General Category => Blather and Babble => Topic started by: northernstar on 08 September 2020, 01:58:04 pm
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A withering smile and a pointed change of subject ::)
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A withering smile and a pointed change of subject ::)
That’s if we want to avoid answering the claim (most of the time best course of action).
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That’s if we want to avoid answering the claim (most of the time best course of action).
And also when you have more constructive things to do with your time than try to change the views of somebody who is so entrenched they are never going to listen or agree with you. And to be fair, they're as entitled to their beliefs as I am, and I have no right to tell another adult what to think.
Actually, I'd happily agree that it's easy but then I used to work 12 hour continental shifts. Shagging is a piece of piss compared with that :D
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Sex work is always referred to as “fast” money while this is somewhat true I believe it’s led people to equate this to the profession being easy.
I believe people see escort documentaries on the likes of channel 4 and are disillusioned by the average sex workers earnings.These escorts who are making thousands per client I know one or two but wish people would realise these girls make up not even about 5 percent of escorts I’ll bet and they are very rare and very well connected hence why they earn a lot. There’s not many girls out there who make thousands per hour.
Escorting also involves a lot of risks financial, physical and mental risks to be precise. People don’t realise how much time you need to invest in this job. I put in more than 40 hours a week screening clients, scouting workable locations, improving my advertising and seeing clients as I’m high volume. And even with that I’m not making 6 - 10 grand a day like channel 4 would have you believe. Nowhere near that.
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It's a bit like show business "the show must go on".
It's theatre, its acting, its selling, its shop window display, its advertising, its communication skills.
Its work, its good work, bit like social work :)
Its my part time job.
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Many people including clients/punters think it's sitting around, customers walking in.
Others do recognise it as a business.
Luckily worst I have had is prejudice, barriers to other work and training courses, accusations that I don't have any respect for my body.
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So designing websites, spending 2 hours a day marketing yourself (twitter twatter and whatnot), picking up the phones and screening clients, customer service, answering clients emails and then there's the shagging part (that half of the time doesn't involve shagging but something else, like talk, massage or whatever)... Then get yourself an accountant file for self employed and keep receits/invoices of every thing. I'll stop there because I'm already exhausted.
If this is not work... WHAT IS IT? ??? Sports? hobbie? some extravagant occupation that makes you earn a living?------- (please fill in the blanks for me)
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It’s because they think we are being pleasured and don’t realise it’s mentally and physically gruelling having sex with men you don’t fancy and would never touch in a month of Sunday’s if you weren’t getting paid >:(
Their view is how hard is it to sit there having orgasms all day. If only they knew what we were really thinking.
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Maybe that person who said that has not obviously experienced the smelly horrible demanding clients then. Because those type of clients certainly are hard work you could also get severe repetitive hand strain on certain bookings. Lol
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Maybe that person who said that has not obviously experienced the smelly horrible demanding clients then. Because those type of clients certainly are hard work you could also get severe repetitive hand strain on certain bookings. Lol
So agree with this. And also the bruises on your body where they grab you. And they seem to think you don’t get sore down below. After two full days working I can hardly sit down and I’m aching all over. Including internally.
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So agree with this. And also the bruises on your body where they grab you. And they seem to think you don’t get sore down below. After two full days working I can hardly sit down and I’m aching all over. Including internally.
Actually i was thinking just this the other day. I have had several bruisings on my body mainly legs and boobs from clients grabbing too hard. One time i had 10 bruises on my legs and a couple on my boob. Have you noticed if they want to change position sometimes they just do not ask you but just grab you quite harshly and quick, to then flip you around?
I have had that happen several times resulting in bruises.
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Does anyone else get the overzealous types who act as though they’ve never bust a nut or seen another person naked in their entirety? I mean those guys that have a crazed state in their eye and sweating puddles the minute you take your bra off and literally pulling, grabbing and latching on to you in the most clingy way possible straight away. Such a fucking turn off. Biggest turn off. Clingy and overzealous just makes my skin crawl.
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Never been bruised but clients have thought bruises caused by very innocent things, twice lingerie once a steel boned corset to be inflicted by other punters or a controller.
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Does anyone else get the overzealous types who act as though they’ve never bust a nut or seen another person naked in their entirety? I mean those guys that have a crazed state in their eye and sweating puddles the minute you take your bra off and literally pulling, grabbing and latching on to you in the most clingy way possible straight away. Such a fucking turn off. Biggest turn off. Clingy and overzealous just makes my skin crawl.
Yes and when they throw their head at your crotch beard and all and slam their face on your pussy. Ouch. I’m finding the more I tell them I need reverse oral to be gentle the less they seem to understand it. I mean the clitoris is so sensitive it does not need to be ripped sucked prodded and head butted lol
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CLAIM 1: "Tell that to HMRC!"
CLAIM 2: "And?"
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"Could you put a stranger's dick in your mouth?" I said to this client. He was obsessed with the money aspect.
He said "No I would rather clean toilets".
"Yeah not everybody can do it" I said...
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I actually haven't had anyone say to my face that it's not that hard. But if they did, I'd say to them why don't you do it then? I mean who doesn't want such easy money! Maybe you could even get your daughter and mum to do it as well, you know, as it's not hard!
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Just had a two hr booking cum 3 times fuck all the holes if he had his way would have wanted to fuck ears and nose with all positions thrown in used the whole two hr booking upto the last second so whoever thinks this job is easy then i really don't get it my whole body is bruised☹️☹️so there you go.
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Anyone who says sex work is easy should have to spend two days taking calls from Timewasters exclusively and see if their sanity is still intact afterwards and more importantly if they think this job is “easy”.
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It's funny because I've noticed a lot of times, the one's who claim this is so easy for us, tend to be erotic novelist wannabes, who sit on forums all day and scrutinize us on our appearance, face, body, personality, technique, how "deep" your DFK is *boak*, your dick/ball sucking ability, whether you boosted their ego to an acceptable level, where you were standing when you opened the door, the bloody decor of your house, the fluffiness of your towels... And then you've got the clients who, despite paying you for the service, are in some delusion that you really fancy them and want something serious because you had a "connection" apparently. I mostly find it to be the older and/or less attractive ones who do this as well. It's like they've never experienced "intimacy" or kindness from a female before and seem to forget that they just handed you a wad of cash in order for services! Then they send constant texts of "darling I really do care about you, you know!" "I miss you and think about you a lot" eeuurghh! That's usually the point where I tell them to find someone else, no matter if they were a "regular" or not.
I get that we are fulfilling a fantasy for men but I never realised how many of them would take it quite literally and end up expecting so much more from us.
So yeah, not an easy job. Can be draining as fuck. People who think otherwise need to try it for themselves and then come back with their opinions.
There's way more but I'd be here all day
Stress can cause major health issues in us sex workers, it’s even more stressful working for a boss and not yourself, add bitchy jealous girls on top of all that that you mentioned and bosses then the women are like pressure cookers! I could really see how easy it would be for one of the women to snap and do untold damage to a punter through provocation with their delusions, is it really all worth it in the end...
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Just had a two hr booking cum 3 times fuck all the holes if he had his way would have wanted to fuck ears and nose with all positions thrown in used the whole two hr booking upto the last second so whoever thinks this job is easy then i really don't get it my whole body is bruised☹️☹️so there you go.
This is why I won’t see anyone that I don’t know for more than an hour, that’s when my smile starts slipping. That must have been awful, you deserve a medal!
When a client says this job isn’t hard work I just smile and say I know cause non of you can hold yourself for more than 5 mins! That usually leads onto a mutual laugh about men being pretty useless. The only thing a client could say that would stress me right out is.. ‘you stink!’ Other than that I couldn’t care less.
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Clients that think this job is easy and we earn too much per hour have no bloody idea. Let them walk a week in our life, experience what we experience they would quit instantly.
There clueless and ignorant and mostly have this opinion because they have zero respect for us and the job we do.
But i will point out there is some clients that think we do a hard job and deserve a medal and they could never do this job.
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I had this conversation with a male friend not so long ago, I just asked him to try kneeling on his bed and bouncing up and down for 10mins with a smile on his face the entire time... xx
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There isn't much skill or talent working in macdonalds but it's still work. Work is anything that makes money I think .
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Tbh, I don't really care if people view sex work as not being work. What does concerns me is once sex work is considered to be actual 'work', then the DWP can push sex work as a viable option and sanction those who refuse to pursue this path - I think sex work should only be undertaken by those who choose to do it, not those who have been pushed into it.
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Merged with virtually identical existing thread, right down to the OP.
If this is annoying you so much NS, maybe stay off the internet and spend a bit more time engaging with other things? I spend very little time online beyond what's absolutely necessary and see very little of this sort of cobblers as a result :).
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Tbh, I don't really care if people view sex work as not being work. What does concerns me is once sex work is considered to be actual 'work', then the DWP can push sex work as a viable option and sanction those who refuse to pursue this path - I think sex work should only be undertaken by those who choose to do it, not those who have been pushed into it.
The DWP is just plain evil at the moment but then we have a screamingly evil government in power. DWP plans to push people into any job at any price have met with huge pushback from business and rights activists. The DWP are also refusing to release their own reports which are reported to confirm these policy paths are disastrous and harmful and make no economic sense.
As for government refusing to acknowledge sex work as work I don't know if this is for reasons of dogma or because of legal issues with consent and contract law and taxation. It may be worth approaching the Law Commission for a view.
The government website has a report. (Search for " Nature of prostitution and sex work in England and Wales. Research report produced by the University of Bristol on the current nature and commonness of prostitution and sex work in England and Wales.") The preamble gives a good breakdown of the type and variety of sex work, who practices sex work, and while the language is soft very usefully highlights how poor public policy and discrimination may form an environment where the state effectively pushes or coerces people into sex work. They also note that the Home Affairs Select Committee published a report on prostitution which was leaning towards a more progressive view.
I personally feel that porn needs better regulation. I am not happy that mostly large America tech companies dominate the porn industry and turn the almost always exclusively male owners into multi-millionaires or billionaires. Nor am I happy with tasteless porn which encourages bad habits. The Guardian in the column "When it comes to porn’s damaging effects, millennials and Gen Z feminists are united" is hyperventilating and appropriating feminism to shut down sex positive feminists. I feel they are going to far and not helping progress public policy development to balance women's agency and safety with consent.
I know it's a political comment but I do not see this government doing anything about poverty nor making sex workers or women's lives easier.
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I personally feel that porn needs better regulation. I am not happy that mostly large America tech companies dominate the porn industry and turn the almost always exclusively male owners into multi-millionaires or billionaires. Nor am I happy with tasteless porn which encourages bad habits. The Guardian in the column "When it comes to porn’s damaging effects, millennials and Gen Z feminists are united" is hyperventilating and appropriating feminism to shut down sex positive feminists. I feel they are going to far and not helping progress public policy development to balance women's agency and safety with consent.
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Blogging about how reductive that column piece is as we speak ( in between bouts of procrastination looking at saafe and whatnot on my phone that is)
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There isn't much skill or talent working in macdonalds but it's still work. Work is anything that makes money I think .
Well you say that but you still need to be organised and use there systems that if you never used one would need training. I don't think shop work is always as easy as it seems.
To me sex work is a job as i charge people money and pay tax on it just like any other self employed job but i would never say it's a career as there is no prospects or promotions and most would not put it on there CV or linkedin profile if they were going for a non sex job as most of us know we would not be taken on if we were that open about it and imagine the gossip if we did get a job and other work associates knew.
I am not embarrassed about sex work when seeing clients as there doing the same as me but outside of it i don't want it known at all.
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I'm not bothered by the negativity, if I was I wouldn't be doing it. What makes me laugh is when a client I've turned down for whatever reason calls me a whore and tells me to get a real job whilst failing to see the irony that they were seeking my services in the first place. I have one friend who knows what I do and she is supportive. I enjoy doing this. It fulfils my needs and means I can work from home doing my other business.
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Said this many times and to many people, both sex work industry and civvy twats/ignoramuses/idiots who are such hypocrites in my experience.
If whatever we/you do to earn your living and it pays your bills and keeps a roof over your head, then it is work.
I know a lady in civvy life who shags anyone when she is pissed. Her choice and not for me to judge but one conversation I had with her when she was boasting of her latest escapade and I said (she knows my occupation!) you could be an escort as you have no inhibitions (or words similar) and her response was "no I prefer to work for a living" meaning she viewed what I do as not work. She thought she had the upper hand on me and was in effect looking down on my chosen profession.
I won't say what she does daily for minimum wage but I know who is happier and it ain't her! ;D
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Exactly Justine.
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I know a lady in civvy life who shags anyone when she is pissed. Her choice and not for me to judge but one conversation I had with her when she was boasting of her latest escapade and I said (she knows my occupation!) you could be an escort as you have no inhibitions (or words similar) and her response was "no I prefer to work for a living" meaning she viewed what I do as not work.
Think part of this is, people associate sex with pleasure and pleasure can’t possibly be work. Work isn’t supposed to be enjoyable. And it doesn’t matter shagging randoms and pretending you’re having the time of hope life isn’t exactly the best thing in the world, they just can’t compute.
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I had a client who thought that because he couldn't get enough sex that being paid to have sex was the easiest and best job, To quote him " I'd be fucking day and night if I was you" Escorting is not just sex or I wouldn't end up mentally drained. I actually got a horrible message from a guy saying I should of done better at school then I wouldn't have to suck cock for money. Men either resent women for getting paid for sex or resent women for being stay at home mums playing with the kids and having lunch dates with other mums and not working or that they have to date us and spend money on dates to get us into bed, We can't win with that narrow minded ignorance or a man's own insecurities.The civvy women who know what I do have said they couldn't do it but never that its not a job or easy money. After using so much mental and physical energy Escorting I still study, Run a home and a mum that's always checking in with my kids and working to keep everything together on my own. When I have sex in my civvy life it's my way and how I like it and if I don't want to do small talk then I don't but in the job I give more than I would in my normal life but then that's fine because I'm getting paid well to do so. Work is anything that takes time away from my family, friends and doing what the hell I want because I'm serving someone else's needs and the time is not mine. If someone comments that Escorting is not work or easy money and not tried it then it's not even a valid argument or Opinion.
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Tbh, I don't really care if people view sex work as not being work. What does concerns me is once sex work is considered to be actual 'work', then the DWP can push sex work as a viable option and sanction those who refuse to pursue this path - I think sex work should only be undertaken by those who choose to do it, not those who have been pushed into it.
I think this should be the case for all work, not only sex work. DWP is already firing people to be sex workers through sanctions and the means testing. This sounds dangerously close to nordic model supporters logic tbh and it's scaremongering. No country with decrim does this. Also stripping is legal and DWP is forcing people to be strippers.
At the minute we are liable for tax, but we are criminalised for working with others and have very little legal protection.
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What’s DWP? ???
You really don't know?
Department for Work and Pensions
Jobseekers benefits/UC (merging into one as they are phasing out JSA)
Pensions/sickness benefits/a whole load of other forms of income but the fact that millions of job vacancies are not filled and filling them or most of them with people being strongly encouraged to take work they don't want will eventually reduce the "benefits" bill.
If you are registered as self employed then the DWP will know about it as HMRC and DWP are very closely linked as far as sharing information is concerned. So you must be within that system somewhere northernstar?
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You really don't know?
Department for Work and Pensions
Jobseekers benefits/UC (merging into one as they are phasing out JSA)
Pensions/sickness benefits/a whole load of other forms of income but the fact that millions of job vacancies are not filled and filling them or most of them with people being strongly encouraged to take work they don't want will eventually reduce the "benefits" bill.
If you are registered as self employed then the DWP will know about it as HMRC and DWP are very closely linked as far as sharing information is concerned. So you must be within that system somewhere northernstar?
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I do know what this is, just didn’t catch on the acronym at first.
Yes, I bet I am there somewhere since registered and paying tax.
It’s better I just stop asking.
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On the Youtube channel LastWeekTonight is a new video (28 Feb 2022) "Sex Work: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)". You will need a VPN with a US access point to watch it. He covers sex work is work plus all the usual talking points we all know about and others specific to the US but is getting it out to a general audience. I don't personally like him but it's information.
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On the Youtube channel LastWeekTonight is a new video (28 Feb 2022) "Sex Work: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)". You will need a VPN with a US access point to watch it. He covers sex work is work plus all the usual talking points we all know about and others specific to the US but is getting it out to a general audience. I don't personally like him but it's information.
Thank you