I was speaking to my girl about pop stars and meant to say Nicki Minji and said menage a trois by mistake opps

Mum: I was going to get you some of that nice minge perfume for your....
Me: You were going to get me what?!
Mum: That singer, Nicki minge...
Me: no mum, just no. And it's Minaj, minge is very different. 

thats exactly what i call her deliberately 

You are debating if depositing ?500 is worth driving to the bank or if you will wait until it's ?1000 as that is a 'decent amount' that I can justify putting myself out for, this was me the other day and my perception of money is terrible when it comes to what is a big amount.

You gauge how well your week has gone based on how fast your condom stash decreases.

Dry shampoo has become your one true love.

You have reached ninja level at clock watching.

When you use that nonchalant hair flick move to catch a glimpse of the clock!

Sorry to sound possibly crude but when you get a successful overnight booking with a new client who is happy to pay your full overnight rate, I'll admit that I get "very" turned on after he gives me that amount of money.

When you go to the nurse for your regular injection which is given in the butt cheek, and she says "Just pop your jeans down" and you immediately turn your back to her, stick your bum out, and slowly and sexily peel your skinny jeans off.

The worst thing was, it wasn't til I was out of the door that I realised what I'd done and why she was giving me a slightly perplexed look 

Lol I've done similar. Maybe a year ago when I went for routine STD health check up there was this sexy doctor guy (surprisingly!) when he told me to hop onto that bed to drop my jeans I immediately thought of being naughty, a second later I realised and turned off that mindset, I'm there thinking don't be stupid...wrong situation and all.

He was nice though, I'd have happily accommodated him its not like he had a shortage of condoms on his desk.

When copulating rigorously with a client and then he says how his wife was never this tight and good in bed even when they were dating 37 years ago.

What a compliment to say! lol

I get told lots of times how good I am but that made me giggle if only his wife would have heard him say it haha