SAAFE forum
General Category => Blather and Babble => Topic started by: Serendipity on 04 July 2012, 02:03:14 am
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... You respond to your escort name just as much as your real name!
... You go for a massage and you pay upfront and know when 60minutes is up and don't overstay your welcome!
... You always have cash in the house and tend to pay with cash!
... You have 2 phones!
... You know the best sex toys/lube/condoms on the market!
... You have more sets of underwear than most of your friends do!
Feel free to add more :)
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...when a gorgeous guy attempts to chat you up and you yawn in his face ;)
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...you look at men of a certain age and wonder if they'd be nice clients!
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... You respond to your escort name just as much as your real name!
... You go for a massage and you pay upfront and know when 60minutes is up and don't overstay your welcome!
... You always have cash in the house and tend to pay with cash!
... You have 2 phones!
... You know the best sex toys/lube/condoms on the market!
... You have more sets of underwear than most of your friends do!
Feel free to add more :)
Only 2 phones - between me and Mr kristina we have 7 phones and 2 landlines LOL
You spend all your time either in the bedroom or on line blogging
The world of sex becomes a very normal place to be and you have conversations about the most bizare things
You look at everyone as a potential client and wonder if every girl you see in the street is a WG
You enjoy life ;D
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7 phones?! Haha!
... when you log on to adult work as much as other social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter!
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When you pass an adult store and don't have a sneaky look in the window as you walk by.
;)
When you see those BB cosmetic products on the shelves and have a giggle to yourself.
;)
When you look at the girlies out on the town in their slutty clothes and shoes and think
"those are my work outfits and I would not be seen dead in them in public"
:o
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When you hear a song and think "ohh that would be good on my 30 min playlist"
When you buy stockings in bulk!
When you have a million sim cards and dongles.
When you visit a hotel the first thing you check for are key cards and make a mental note.
When you can re make a bed in 2 mins flat (house keepers too lol)!
When you have 3 phone voices. Personal Life, Personal Life Professional and Work!
When (if you advertise in the paper) you can describe yourself head to toe in 20 seconds whilst putting on mascara!
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... you come to the realisation that men as old as your grandad use escorts and still have sex =/
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when you cant damn switch off even when trying to have a day off!!!! I did a phone chat & new images for the private gallery .
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when every handbag you own( and you have lots of them) has condoms baby wipes and spare srockings in it
When you go to asda and spend more time checking out the price of baby wipes than you do food
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When you are about to book that hair appointment and tell yourself
"Say blowDRY!" ::)
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When you have a draw full off baby wipes and another full off sex toys, handcuffs, whips etc.
When you go shopping for real life clothes and end up buying work clothes/underwear/shoes aswell or instead.
When you have no shame in buying condoms, lubes etc from supermarkets, chemists etc, in bulk because there is a special offer on and get baffled when you get funny looks from the woman at the till.
When you always check how easy an item of clothing is to take off before you buy it.
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your phone address book looks likes this:
ignore1
ignore2
ignore3
....
...
..
ignore270
;D
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When you just know the minute you answer your phone and the voice on the other end says "Hello..Can you give me details" He's a TW...
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simply hilarious girls..mmm let me think,
becomming concious that everyone has seen you before somewhere ie on AW AND you get more looks from fellas in supermarkets with their wives.
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When I look at my middle aged, single male friend and bet he pays for it because he's never had a GF and surely can't go without sex.
When I look at middle aged men in general and think they all see escorts.
When I look at men and wonder what sexual deviance they have.
When I cringe at prostitutes in dramas. They're either street girls or high end jet setters, nothing inbetween.
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When random clients recognize me in public and shout my working name to draw attention
When there is hardly anything about sex that would suprise me
When I look at random ppl and wonder who is an escort/client
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when you know where the lifts are in every hotel lobby
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Condoms scattered in different hiding places in your room.
You wonder if every girl is a WG.
You look at men and think perfect client and wish you had a business card!
You used to be the girl everyone shamed for one night stands now you look at them in shame!
You don't trust anyone!
You find hidden ?20 notes in loads of different purses and bags!
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-You find yourself being nice to random old men, then realise you're not being paid to be nice to them!
-The question you get asked the most is 'So what's the weirdest thing you've done' followed by 'Don't you have to have sex with dirty smelly old men?'
- You become so blas? about being naked you shock your friends by stripping off in front of them when you need to get changed.
- You can write an entire blog entry in your head at the same time as sucking cock/being shagged
- You don't believe any man is capable of being faithful
- You see revolting looking men in the street and think please don't let him show up one day
-You buy ridiculously high heeled shoes knowing you'll won't need to walk far in them and actually spend most your time in them on your back!
-When you're not working the best thing is not having to shave/remove hair
-You have male shower gel in the bathroom even though you don't live with a man
- You do 20 times more laundry than anyone else you know, mainly towels and bed linen.
-You can get changed and get your make up on in record time.
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I have just started and every single man I see is a potential client.
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You never need to buy pens envelopes and paper. . . All hotel branded of course :) when your out of tea or coffee you can dip into your hotel swag:) same applies when you realise you are out of shampoo, shower gel, cotton buds etc ha can you tell i like my hotel swag:)
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You never need to buy pens envelopes and paper. . . All hotel branded of course :) when your out of tea or coffee you can dip into your hotel swag:) same applies when you realise you are out of shampoo, shower gel, cotton buds etc ha can you tell i like my hotel swag:)
LOL :D I am also adding the fluffy slippers from the Corinthia to that list! :) xxx
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-The question you get asked the most is 'So what's the weirdest thing you've done' followed by 'Don't you have to have sex with dirty smelly old men?'
- You become so blas? about being naked you shock your friends by stripping off in front of them when you need to get changed.
- You don't believe any man is capable of being faithful
-You buy ridiculously high heeled shoes knowing you'll won't need to walk far in them and actually spend most your time in them on your back!
-When you're not working the best thing is not having to shave/remove hair
-You have male shower gel in the bathroom even though you don't live with a man
- You do 20 times more laundry than anyone else you know, mainly towels and bed linen.
-You can get changed and get your make up on in record time.
All of the above. However, the laundry gets me down even though I don't see many clients at all! I'm going to have to invest in a washer/dryer......
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... you've come up with every excuse to your friends as to why you have to dash off!
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when every time your phone rings.you have to make sure you don't say hello how may i help you.then realise it's your personal phone.and it is your friend or a family member calling you.lol
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When your dad/mum/brother rings and you have to stop yourself from answering 'hello can I help?'
When someone texts 'are you free?' on your personal number, you have to reply lol!
When the guy you've been seeing gets confident and asks if you've done anything sexually 'out there' and all you want to reply is 'well I've had many, many threesomes, quite often 3 or 4 a day, I've done pretty much everything in the bedroom department. In fact anything you have done I've done 10x better and hot paid for it.' hehe
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;)
When you see those BB cosmetic products on the shelves and have a giggle to yourself.
;)
yes! totally! loll
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-You find yourself being nice to random old men, then realise you're not being paid to be nice to them!
-The question you get asked the most is 'So what's the weirdest thing you've done' followed by 'Don't you have to have sex with dirty smelly old men?'
- You become so blas? about being naked you shock your friends by stripping off in front of them when you need to get changed.
- You do 20 times more laundry than anyone else you know, mainly towels and bed linen.
-You can get changed and get your make up on in record time.
in agreeance to all these points!!
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you know your an escort when:
you wear sunglasses to the supermarket even when raining to avoid eye to eye contact with any punters out and about
you have more money in your bed room safe than your bank account
you relish not wearing any make up and slob out at any given chance!
you find yourself giving friends(who know) condoms and sex advice
...your single :-(
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LOL :D I am also adding the fluffy slippers from the Corinthia to that list! :) xxx
I always take the bath salts from there
(actually scratch that, I take everything, I think I've got about 5 complete set of their toiletries plus bag and umbrella)
- you shower before any 'civilian sex', and wish you could demand the guy does likewise
- you find regular dates weird, as they don't have a time limit
- you have at least 10 different brands of mini toiletries
- you pay for everything in cash
- ?50 notes are not that exciting
- you can't remember when you last used a cash machine
- you know how to get lube stains out of any fabric
- all your handbags contain condoms, lube and spare ?20s
- you have 5 fake names and 6 email accounts
- you can guess how many ?s are in a stack of ?20s by the size of it
- you can count cash faster than a bank teller
- you don't get up before 9am ;D
- you spend more on underwear than you do on clothes
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...you can make a hotel bed faster than the cleaners!
...you realise that regardless of your age, weight fluctuations, bad hair days etc, there will ALWAYS be somebody out there willing to pay for the privilege of having sex with you :)
...your 'body clock' tells you how long it's been (30min, 1h) every time without fail
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- you have waited and done more time than an immate
-you have repeated the same conversations a million times over
-your better at massages than a athelete pro
-youve emtied more bins than the bin man
-your extremly hard to please in bedroon
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You have to be careful every time you send a none work related email not to sign off with your working name and a kiss.
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You have to be careful every time you send a none work related email not to sign off with your working name and a kiss.
or when you text 118 118 :D
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Awwww Sadie " youve emtied more bins than the bin man "
I actually LOL there x
Hilarious !!!
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Aha love this thread! Allllllllllllllllllll of the above lmao... I'm new on saafe & it's so funny & nice to hear all that... I'm not alone heheh :D xxx
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You wear a long frumpy cardi and equally frumpy flats into a hotel reception in the hope that staff think your too much of a bore to be whoring. You shuffle to the lift and can be out of them and into the highest heels and slinky dress by the time the lift goes ping on the 1st floor. ****Whist of course praying your client isnt knocking around the lobby****
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You hang out the washing to dry and notice that the whole line consists of naughty frilly undies, stockings, towels and gym kit!!!
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You wear a long frumpy cardi and equally frumpy flats into a hotel reception in the hope that staff think your too much of a bore to be whoring. You shuffle to the lift and can be out of them and into the highest heels and slinky dress by the time the lift goes ping on the 1st floor. ****Whist of course praying your client isnt knocking around the lobby****
I have to try this one. I guess if you look all mousey and boring they will never suspect that you are a lady of the night.
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You wear a long frumpy cardi and equally frumpy flats into a hotel reception in the hope that staff think your too much of a bore to be whoring. You shuffle to the lift and can be out of them and into the highest heels and slinky dress by the time the lift goes ping on the 1st floor. ****Whist of course praying your client isnt knocking around the lobby****
Yes!
And when I'm staying in hotels on non-business I forget it doesn't matter what I dress like and still find myself rushing past reception straight to the lifts!
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Every man you see, any age, any situation is, in your head, a man who uses escorts. You look at every single guy & wonder who he pays for sex, or if he'll be walking through your door tomorrow.
You see happy couples of all ages & feel sorry for the girl because you know what the guy's like.
You will never trust a man to be faithful ever again.
In every handbag, coat, kitchen drawer, and in every nook & cranny in your car, there are condoms!
Your handbag is twice as big as anyone elses.
You find random ?20's in all sorts of places, and the odd ?150 tucked away!
You know in your heart that no guy will ever want to be with you, coz they'll never see past the job.
You have the same conversation, answer the same questions, over & over & over... day after day... week after week lol
You have loaddddsss of money & can afford to get nice things & have nice treats & go nice places :)
You havn't got time for a life of your own, and when you do get a couple of hours to yourself, you just mong out & do nothing... coz you just don't have the energy to talk to anyone.
You go for a night out, get irritated with all the gorgeous guys chatting you up, and wish they'd piss off & leave you alone!
You're off on a night on the town with your mates, but you don't bother to shave or make too much of an effort... coz the last thing you want to do is pull!
It's a luxury not having to shave on your day off!
You really lose respect & faith in men & love.
When you have normal unpaid sex there's a little voice in your head saying "I could be getting ?150 for this, why am I giving it away for free?!"
When the subject of sex comes up with your friends, you rule the conversation!
None of your washloads are normal clothes, it's all underwear!
You go clothes shopping... and come back with even more underwear!
You don't have a life, because after a week of full time entertaining, talking nonstop, and giving every bit of yourself away, you just can't be bothered to go and socialise... especially as you're not getting paid for it!
When everything in your head revolves around sex... and you forget not to assume that everyone else is the same!
When you're lonely & isolated & feel like you're under the radar of a normal life.
When, unexpectedly, your doorbell rings when you weren't stood there waiting for it for the first time in 6mths... and it totally freaks you out... if it's not a client then who in the hell is it?!
When you can't switch off on your day off.
When even unpaid sex doesn't turn you on, in your mind, anymore, coz it's work.
When dates are pretty much identical to work... except they go on too long, and you don't get paid for it, so you stop going on them!
When your shopping basket consists of: condoms, lube, baby wipes, chewing gum, mouthwash, 3 ready meals, loo roll, milk, battries, male shower gel, razors, and that's it, twice a week... so you alternate between all the tesco's, asda's, & sainsbury's all over the city!
You're sooo paranoid about losing your phone!
When you're financially independent, and don't want, or need a man in your life... coz you earn more than them anway!
When every time you take a job the thought briefly flits through your head that it could be really dangerous, before you block it out.
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You've used silicon lube as hair serum
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you get a sex session with a hot sexy non client and feel bad afterwards, as he didnt pay for it !
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You go out on girl's nights and aren't looking for sex. Because it's your day off.
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When your new boyfriend asks you why you are so good at sex, when you're only 21... and you go bright red and mumble something about an experimental ex :-[
awkward...
xx
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When your new boyfriend asks you why you are so good at sex, when you're only 21... and you go bright red and mumble something about an experimental ex :-[
awkward...
xx
Not that I have a boyfriend to explain to, but at least I have the benefit of a lot more years to blame my experience and skills on!!! ;)
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.........walking into any hotel no matter whether there on business or fun you start noting the location of camera, lifts, friendliness of doormen, key card access, and general busyiness of the staff.
..........you start walking into random hotels and inspecting them for all of the above. Just in case.
...........you pop an ad up for your vacation destination. You never know.
............you can knick towels from a housekeeping trolley, without breaking stride.
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I think it's defo time for me to hang up my stockings ........ Was listening to the commentator on the Olympics and he said 'constitution hill' to which I obviously heard 'prostitution hill' ..... Maybe it's just selective hearing I've got.
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when every handbag you own( and you have lots of them) has condoms baby wipes and spare srockings in it
When you go to asda and spend more time checking out the price of baby wipes than you do food
It's funny as I've been clearing out my handbags recently and found loads of condoms in all of them, always prepared even when not on duty!
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.........walking into any hotel no matter whether there on business or fun you start noting the location of camera, lifts, friendliness of doormen, key card access, and general busyiness of the staff.
..........you start walking into random hotels and inspecting them for all of the above. Just in case.
...........you pop an ad up for your vacation destination. You never know.
............you can knick towels from a housekeeping trolley, without breaking stride.
Not only towels but all the extra bits and bobs, and you always know how to persuade the front desk staff to comp you a free breakfast
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.........walking into any hotel no matter whether there on business or fun you start noting the location of camera, lifts, friendliness of doormen, key card access, and general busyiness of the staff.
..........you start walking into random hotels and inspecting them for all of the above. Just in case.
...........you pop an ad up for your vacation destination. You never know.
............you can knick towels from a housekeeping trolley, without breaking stride.
Not only towels but all the extra bits and bobs, and you always know how to persuade the front desk staff to comp you a free breakfast
Or a free night. I have had the nerve to complain about the noiseiness of my neighbours. Who decided to have a knock down, drag out fuck fest at 2 in the morning! No consideration for others! At least I restrict my shananigans to the hours of 10-10. ;D
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I think it's defo time for me to hang up my stockings ........ Was listening to the commentator on the Olympics and he said 'constitution hill' to which I obviously heard 'prostitution hill' ..... Maybe it's just selective hearing I've got.
everyone talking about A Levels at the minute keeps making me do like a mental double take..
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you are the sat nav.....
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you look at decent homes on the roadside as youre driving by; and check parking would be suitable for clients if you lived there !!!!
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You're out with ALL of your family for lunch and one of the kids needs a wetwipe so you automatically reach for your bag..... Lol!
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Every man you see, any age, any situation is, in your head, a man who uses escorts. You look at every single guy & wonder who he pays for sex, or if he'll be walking through your door tomorrow.
You see happy couples of all ages & feel sorry for the girl because you know what the guy's like.
You will never trust a man to be faithful ever again.
In every handbag, coat, kitchen drawer, and in every nook & cranny in your car, there are condoms!
Your handbag is twice as big as anyone elses.
You find random ?20's in all sorts of places, and the odd ?150 tucked away!
You know in your heart that no guy will ever want to be with you, coz they'll never see past the job.
You have the same conversation, answer the same questions, over & over & over... day after day... week after week lol
You have loaddddsss of money & can afford to get nice things & have nice treats & go nice places :)
You havn't got time for a life of your own, and when you do get a couple of hours to yourself, you just mong out & do nothing... coz you just don't have the energy to talk to anyone.
You go for a night out, get irritated with all the gorgeous guys chatting you up, and wish they'd piss off & leave you alone!
You're off on a night on the town with your mates, but you don't bother to shave or make too much of an effort... coz the last thing you want to do is pull!
It's a luxury not having to shave on your day off!
You really lose respect & faith in men & love.
When you have normal unpaid sex there's a little voice in your head saying "I could be getting ?150 for this, why am I giving it away for free?!"
When the subject of sex comes up with your friends, you rule the conversation!
None of your washloads are normal clothes, it's all underwear!
You go clothes shopping... and come back with even more underwear!
You don't have a life, because after a week of full time entertaining, talking nonstop, and giving every bit of yourself away, you just can't be bothered to go and socialise... especially as you're not getting paid for it!
When everything in your head revolves around sex... and you forget not to assume that everyone else is the same!
When you're lonely & isolated & feel like you're under the radar of a normal life.
When, unexpectedly, your doorbell rings when you weren't stood there waiting for it for the first time in 6mths... and it totally freaks you out... if it's not a client then who in the hell is it?!
When you can't switch off on your day off.
When even unpaid sex doesn't turn you on, in your mind, anymore, coz it's work.
When dates are pretty much identical to work... except they go on too long, and you don't get paid for it, so you stop going on them!
When your shopping basket consists of: condoms, lube, baby wipes, chewing gum, mouthwash, 3 ready meals, loo roll, milk, battries, male shower gel, razors, and that's it, twice a week... so you alternate between all the tesco's, asda's, & sainsbury's all over the city!
You're sooo paranoid about losing your phone!
When you're financially independent, and don't want, or need a man in your life... coz you earn more than them anway!
When every time you take a job the thought briefly flits through your head that it could be really dangerous, before you block it out.
aww i enjoyed,reading this..relate to alot of these.x x
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Deacivated fakebook because i cant relate to any of the non escort wall posts and people and just find saafe far better x :)
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you look at decent homes on the roadside as youre driving by; and check parking would be suitable for clients if you lived there !!!!
Haha! ;D
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.....you go to a nice hotel bar for drinks with friends and think of every men talking to you as a potential client.
...... Do not do one night stands unless you getting paid for it.
...... Know all the escort friendly hotels in every area you visit
...... Wonder what sort of escorts your friends' boyfriends and husbands pay for ( because you believe all men see an escort at some point in their life)
....... Hope you never have your brother in laws or any relative book to see you. You will have a shock of your life seeing them on the other side of the door.
...... Do not use the cash machine often and pay for everything in cash.
...... Spend more money on underwear than clothes.
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...When Youve looked through more key holes than a russian spy
...When you could do the advert,for "putting on a condom"demonstration,with your eyes closed.
...when you could be a proffesional light and dimmer expert,for photgrathers..to get the most flattering lite.
...When your express top ups,favorite customer.
...When You have packed and unpacked,more suitcases than Mary nightingale..
...When some of your towels at home,have hotels lable.
...When you have looked at more ceilings,than a plasterer.
...When your moody and tired all the time!and short tempered!!
...when your typing and texting is quicker than a court stenographer.
...When certain dressings and sauces turn your stomach at meals and people wonder why!!
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...When certain dressings and sauces turn your stomach at meals and people wonder why!!
LOL! ;D
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... you can fold towels perfectly and even, origami enthusiasts would be proud.
..You can be at arms lengh and know whether its safe to go near and give a welcome kiss,before shoving in shower.
...When your quiet,cus your on here writing you know when youre an escort when...
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...you look at men of a certain age and wonder if they'd be nice clients!
Now I really love this one - hats off lol ;0)
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I am going to add:
-Your second favourite section in a supermarket after baby care is the one with towels, bed linen, blankets, cushions... i can spend hours looking at face cloths, hand towels, bath towels, extra large bath towels
- you stop yourself from buying garlic bread because you going to smell of garlic for another 3 days.
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When you can figure out how to operate any hotel shower, no matter how stupidly complicated, in twenty seconds flat :D.
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I am going to add:
- you stop yourself from buying garlic bread because you going to smell of garlic for another 3 days.
Hell to the yeah!!!
and Walkers cheese & onion crisps :(
xxx
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The one about the speed texting. ;D I hadn't realised how fast I text and almost without looking at the phone
until I did it in front of a friend and she was open mouthed in shock. "How the hell did you do that!!?" she asked.
I know I am an escort too when I see hold ups in a fancy style and I buy several pairs exactly the same. The sales
girls must wonder ::)
I have almost given up eating garlic altogether! I love it and it is such a rare treat these days.
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I managed to get an amazing deal with my new car (well new-ish car) because I stood my ground and held the gaze of the car salesman and acted in a confident manner... and then thought later on:
a. I wonder how much more of a discount I could have got for a BJ in the back office
b. He'd make a great client (of a certain age and no doubt married)
;D
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I am going to add:
- you stop yourself from buying garlic bread because you going to smell of garlic for another 3 days.
Hell to the yeah!!!
and Walkers cheese & onion crisps :(
xxx
I like scampi Nik Naks, and curry, and pickled onions, and pilchards in tomato sauce. It's almost worth catching a cold and having to be off for a few days because it means I get to eat them all, although God alone knows what they must think of me in Costcutters.
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Upon over hearing a conversation about how much money a guy spent on a girl, only yo have her bugger off with her friends and leave him high and dry, you have to resist the urge to lean over and whisper, how hiring an escort would have been cheaper, and offer your card. ;D
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You're completely unshockable when it comes to sex - and even if a certain act isn't something that you like, or would do in your private or professional lives you still know someone who would, where to buy the equipment and what the going rate is per hour in your location...
R xx
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I have one ! I have one!
Finally lol ....
When instead of couning things in money you count it in hourly bookings as in " ooh i like those ugg boots, Thats 2 hours work" lol
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I have one ! I have one!
Finally lol ....
When instead of couning things in money you count it in hourly bookings as in " ooh i like those ugg boots, Thats 2 hours work" lol
Lol!
Yeah, I've been doing that recently too "2 hours work... I've covered my rent."
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or
fingers crossed, 3 days work and that is my holiday paid for!
Some people have to save all year to have a holiday, how lucky I am
and I will always feel that way!
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The one about the speed texting. ;D I hadn't realised how fast I text and almost without looking at the phone
until I did it in front of a friend and she was open mouthed in shock. "How the hell did you do that!!?" she asked.
I know I am an escort too when I see hold ups in a fancy style and I buy several pairs exactly the same. The sales
girls must wonder ::)
I have almost given up eating garlic altogether! I love it and it is such a rare treat these days.
Off topic I know, but just a thought for you all you fellow garlic fiends out there! Cut an individual piece of garlic clove in half, remove the lil green shoot (It's the green shoot that makes your breath and everything else smell) and knock your garlic loving self out :o
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I am going to add:
- you stop yourself from buying garlic bread because you going to smell of garlic for another 3 days.
Hell to the yeah!!!
and Walkers cheese & onion crisps :(
xxx
I like scampi Nik Naks, and curry, and pickled onions, and pilchards in tomato sauce. It's almost worth catching a cold and having to be off for a few days because it means I get to eat them all, although God alone knows what they must think of me in Costcutters.
I love smoked mackerel and sometimes the craving proves just to much and I give in, very rarely but still ;D Once, after consuming a whole packet in one go, I received a booking at a very short notice. The desperation! I brushed my teeth probably 10 times, followed by so much listerine, that the poor guy ended up asking me if I'd been drinking! happy days ;D
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When you see the new 'bb cream' hype adverts or in Superdrug/Boots and instantly think of someone asking you for disgusting bareback :/
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I solve the garlic thing by having dinner at 9... most of the time I don't take appointments after that :)
xx
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Christ, I've been working for years and still eat garlic, but have an endless supply of chewing gum and mouthwash in my handbag... ::)
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When you see the new 'bb cream' hype adverts or in Superdrug/Boots and instantly think of someone asking you for disgusting bareback :/
Bought some BB cream, and took it back, I just couldn't bear the thought of putting that on my face. :-X
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You are looking for a course of study and are choosing the university according to can you work in that market or not. ::)
Upon leaving the GUM clinic, you check all the faces of the male patients in the waiting room to see if any of them are your clients. :-\
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When you move 300 miles away from your home town just in case some one you know makes a booking or a family member just pops round for a cup of tea while your working!
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:) When you go in a shop and think that most of nice girls who work there could be potential escorts instead of working for a minimum wage
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:) when you do to the disco without the idea to catch boys
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When you see the new 'bb cream' hype adverts or in Superdrug/Boots and instantly think of someone asking you for disgusting bareback :/
HAHAHAH this is hilarious as everytime I see those adverts I automatically think Bareback ;D
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...When Youve looked through more key holes than a russian spy
...When you could do the advert,for "putting on a condom"demonstration,with your eyes closed.
...when you could be a proffesional light and dimmer expert,for photgrathers..to get the most flattering lite.
...When your express top ups,favorite customer.
...When You have packed and unpacked,more suitcases than Mary nightingale..
...When some of your towels at home,have hotels lable.
...When you have looked at more ceilings,than a plasterer.
...When your moody and tired all the time!and short tempered!!
...when your typing and texting is quicker than a court stenographer.
...When certain dressings and sauces turn your stomach at meals and people wonder why!!
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:) When you go in a shop and think that most of nice girls who work there could be potential escorts instead of working for a minimum wage
I always wonder that too, I think you would be perfect why are you standing there 8 hours a day for pennies?
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:) When you go in a shop and think that most of nice girls who work there could be potential escorts instead of working for a minimum wage
I always wonder that too, I think you would be perfect why are you standing there 8 hours a day for pennies?
I may think this, but I am not saying a word to them. Already there are way too many women selling their foufous. If they figure out themselves, great. I am not about to introduce my competition to the game.
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Oh I would never say anything, otherwise there would be no one left to serve me in superdrug and ask if I would like a bag to put all those condoms and baby wipes in haha!
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-You find yourself being nice to random old men, then realise you're not being paid to be nice to them!
-The question you get asked the most is 'So what's the weirdest thing you've done' followed by 'Don't you have to have sex with dirty smelly old men?'
- You become so blas? about being naked you shock your friends by stripping off in front of them when you need to get changed.
- You can write an entire blog entry in your head at the same time as sucking cock/being shagged
- being the only washing line with red and black satin/lacy underwear hanging on it lol
- You don't believe any man is capable of being faithful
- You see revolting looking men in the street and think please don't let him show up one day
-You buy ridiculously high heeled shoes knowing you'll won't need to walk far in them and actually spend most your time in them on your back!
-When you're not working the best thing is not having to shave/remove hair
-You have male shower gel in the bathroom even though you don't live with a man
- You do 20 times more laundry than anyone else you know, mainly towels and bed linen.
-You can get changed and get your make up on in record time.
Omg! lol this is so me!
- at the school run you are the only mom in the morning with long red nails and unkept hair and no make up. Because you will be jumping into that shower as soon as you get home and get your house and you ready for the next few hours.
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You know you're an escort when...
You see a girl on the train her coat buttoned up to her neck, clutching a huge hand bag, make up perfect and she is wearing fishnets under her jeans (you just see them covering her feet because shes wearing her comfy ballet pumps)
And you think - Your a WG like me! wonder where you are going or have been!
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- at the school run you are the only mom in the morning with long red nails and unkept hair and no make up. Because you will be jumping into that shower as soon as you get home and get your house and you ready for the next few hours.
Or on a Saturday as you are walking around doing your errands, you start to notice various of your clients walking around with their wives, and winking at you.
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when at the till in supermarket and in front of you a married couple buys most things that are about ?1 and you think...You mate, should be saving for a wg later in the week :)
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How many of you have ever looked at a client and his partner and thought to yourself "no wonder he sees a wg" :-[
You know you are a wg when your washing line is the only one in the neighbourhood with red silk and lace lingerie hanging from it lol
You know you are a wg when you can pay for things with 50gbp notes lol
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How many of you have ever looked at a client and his partner and thought to yourself "no wonder he sees a wg
That is incredible. Aren't you the same person who started a whole thread about how working girls shouldn't judge clients? And yet it's ok to judge other females?!
My mind boggles at the hypocrisy.
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when your mates introduce you to their new bloke and the first thought that goes through your head is 'i wonder if he sees wgs'
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How many of you have ever looked at a client and his partner and thought to yourself "no wonder he sees a wg" :-[
You know you are a wg when your washing line is the only one in the neighbourhood with red silk and lace lingerie hanging from it lol
You know you are a wg when you can pay for things with 50gbp notes lol
:-\ i havnt seen a client and thought that but shoot me down for this if you like, I have seen women in the street pushing prams and thought 'jeez who the hell had to do that'
if that makes me evil then so be it, i think it about some clients, like they are so bad in bed or crap at kissing I think bloody hell no wonder your woman doesnt want to shag you ;D
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:-\ i havnt seen a client and thought that but shoot me down for this if you like, I have seen women in the street pushing prams and thought 'jeez who the hell had to do that'
if that makes me evil then so be it, i think it about some clients, like they are so bad in bed or crap at kissing I think bloody hell no wonder your woman doesnt want to shag you ;D
exactly!!!!
[Quote fixed.]
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uckk..i really dont know how to insert the quotes...lol sorry ladies
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Each to their own on judging others. It was more a response to the fact that the same person thought it was wrong to judge clients. I just thought it was awfully hypocritical.
Xx
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uckk..i really dont know how to insert the quotes...lol sorry ladies
To quote a post you only have to click on the 'Quote' button that's up on the top right of it and type your comment in underneath when the 'Post Reply' page appears.
Doing it this way rather than by just typing the tags in (correctly or otherwise) is more useful because it's clear who is being quoted and the reader can then click to get back to the post it came from :).
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uckk..i really dont know how to insert the quotes...lol sorry ladies
To quote a post you only have to click on the 'Quote' button that's up on the top right of it and type your comment in underneath when the 'Post Reply' page appears.
Doing it this way rather than by just typing the tags in (correctly or otherwise) is more useful because it's clear who is being quoted and the reader can then click to get back to the post it came from :).
thank you . let me try..did it work? :P
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How many of you have ever looked at a client and his partner and thought to yourself "no wonder he sees a wg
That is incredible. Aren't you the same person who started a whole thread about how working girls shouldn't judge clients? And yet it's ok to judge other females?!
My mind boggles at the hypocrisy.
It is called an observation not a judgment!. :FF ::)
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Sounds like we get the same train. Lol.
You know you're an escort when...
You see a girl on the train her coat buttoned up to her neck, clutching a huge hand bag, make up perfect and she is wearing fishnets under her jeans (you just see them covering her feet because shes wearing her comfy ballet pumps)
And you think - Your a WG like me! wonder where you are going or have been!
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...you forget what your own voice sounds like. Seriously GFE has mostly been for me: Be fucked then sit and listen, nod, maybe voice an opinion - only to be cut across midpoint. Don't get irritated *smile*, nod, repeat as required. Patronisingly be told you're intelligent by man who has not actually listened to you speak. (I sound bitter, sorry it's PMS - I do have one fantastic client that I feel masses of affection for, and who lets me talk, and not only because I think my accent reminds him of an old girlfriend, but because he's normal and doesn't seem to need me to stroke his intellectual ego).
I never knew men talked this much before I started escorting - but then, I'd never really spent this.much.time with men ever.
I think being exposed to so much testosterone is making me more blokey - I found my first ever chin hair today :o.
Gosh ramble, sorry!
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...you forget what your own voice sounds like. Seriously GFE has mostly been for me: Be fucked then sit and listen, nod, maybe voice an opinion - only to be cut across midpoint. Don't get irritated *smile*, nod, repeat as required. Patronisingly be told you're intelligent by man who has not actually listened to you speak. (I sound bitter, sorry it's PMS - I do have one fantastic client that I feel masses of affection for, and who lets me talk, and not only because I think my accent reminds him of an old girlfriend, but because he's normal and doesn't seem to need me to stroke his intellectual ego).
I never knew men talked this much before I started escorting - but then, I'd never really spent this.much.time with men ever.
I think being exposed to so much testosterone is making me more blokey - I found my first ever chin hair today :o.
Gosh ramble, sorry!
I don't voice an opinion, due to the fact they aren't there to hear what I have to say. After the sex, they want to have the ego massaged. They want to be told they are handsome, desirable, and good little men, who aren't doing anything wrong. Fine, for the 55 minutes they are paying me for, I can hummm and haaaaa on queue. When the conversation becomes too boring, I will write blog posts in my head, plan out my afternoon, week, next vacation, and when it really becomes boring, distract them with more sex. There is only so much bullshit I can endure in be sitting.
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...you forget what your own voice sounds like. Seriously GFE has mostly been for me: Be fucked then sit and listen, nod, maybe voice an opinion - only to be cut across midpoint. Don't get irritated *smile*, nod, repeat as required. Patronisingly be told you're intelligent by man who has not actually listened to you speak. (I sound bitter, sorry it's PMS - I do have one fantastic client that I feel masses of affection for, and who lets me talk, and not only because I think my accent reminds him of an old girlfriend, but because he's normal and doesn't seem to need me to stroke his intellectual ego).
I never knew men talked this much before I started escorting - but then, I'd never really spent this.much.time with men ever.
I think being exposed to so much testosterone is making me more blokey - I found my first ever chin hair today :o.
Gosh ramble, sorry!
So so right! Haha, had a client like this and then he said about another girl "I don't like that last girl I saw from agency,she talked far too much"
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It may be that I'm quite chatty anyway but I have never had this problem, I have often said outloud "shout up Di and get on with it" which always raises a smile. I guess if I did have a chatty guy then the best way to shut them up is to either kiss them or shove your nipple in their mouth! LOL! ;D People often chat when they're nervous and don't what to do, take the lead and tell them it's time to stop talking and start the action 8)
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I don't voice an opinion, due to the fact they aren't there to hear what I have to say. After the sex, they want to have the ego massaged. They want to be told they are handsome, desirable, and good little men, who aren't doing anything wrong. Fine, for the 55 minutes they are paying me for, I can hummm and haaaaa on queue. When the conversation becomes too boring, I will write blog posts in my head, plan out my afternoon, week, next vacation, and when it really becomes boring, distract them with more sex. There is only so much bullshit I can endure in be sitting.
If it's an hour I'm fine, I can smile and nod - it's the extended bookings that do my head in. Sleeping with someone you don't know: easy. Sleeping with someone who after a 5 hour dinner date you now know is a chauvenistic, egotistic, idiotic, Tory: much, much harder. But I get paid an awful lot so I'll stop complaining (it was pms...).
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I don't voice an opinion, due to the fact they aren't there to hear what I have to say. After the sex, they want to have the ego massaged. They want to be told they are handsome, desirable, and good little men, who aren't doing anything wrong. Fine, for the 55 minutes they are paying me for, I can hummm and haaaaa on queue. When the conversation becomes too boring, I will write blog posts in my head, plan out my afternoon, week, next vacation, and when it really becomes boring, distract them with more sex. There is only so much bullshit I can endure in be sitting.
If it's an hour I'm fine, I can smile and nod - it's the extended bookings that do my head in. Sleeping with someone you don't know: easy. Sleeping with someone who after a 5 hour dinner date you now know is a chauvenistic, egotistic, idiotic, Tory: much, much harder. But I get paid an awful lot so I'll stop complaining (it was pms...).
It could be much worse. Imagine being married to the twat.
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I don't voice an opinion, due to the fact they aren't there to hear what I have to say. After the sex, they want to have the ego massaged. They want to be told they are handsome, desirable, and good little men, who aren't doing anything wrong. Fine, for the 55 minutes they are paying me for, I can hummm and haaaaa on queue. When the conversation becomes too boring, I will write blog posts in my head, plan out my afternoon, week, next vacation, and when it really becomes boring, distract them with more sex. There is only so much bullshit I can endure in be sitting.
If it's an hour I'm fine, I can smile and nod - it's the extended bookings that do my head in. Sleeping with someone you don't know: easy. Sleeping with someone who after a 5 hour dinner date you now know is a chauvenistic, egotistic, idiotic, Tory: much, much harder. But I get paid an awful lot so I'll stop complaining (it was pms...).
It could be much worse. Imagine being married to the twat.
you know you're an escort when out on a dinner date the guy, as described above, starts arguing with the waiters and making a proper scene and you feel like looking at everyone else that's staring and you wonder what are thinking about you...feeling sorry or they know you've been paid for the show?!
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You know literally how it feels, to be all shagged out.
Seriously, I'm dead - and I only did 4 (and a half)...
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You know literally how it feels, to be all shagged out.
Seriously, I'm dead - and I only did 4 (and a half)...
and i feel im gonna die if i dont get laid lol
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I know exactly what you mean, I have just come back from a three day break away with a client and not only do I have a water infection for my trouble, I'm mentally exhausted and numb :-[
I actually think I fell asleep with my eyes open during a few conversations! Didn't know it was possible ;D
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I know exactly what you mean, I have just come back from a three day break away with a client and not only do I have a water infection for my trouble, I'm mentally exhausted and numb :-[
I actually think I fell asleep with my eyes open during a few conversations! Didn't know it was possible ;D
Poor baby, you have to build up to such long dates. Bad tv program's, loads of chocolate, and lots of unsweetened cranberry juice. Feel better
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When even though you are renting you know that it's going to be far cheaper in the long run to call an emergency plumber than wait for your land lord to sort out plumbing problems and cancel appointments :FF
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When even though you are renting you know that it's going to be far cheaper in the long run to call an emergency plumber than wait for your land lord to sort out plumbing problems and cancel appointments :FF
Hahaha
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you have more baby wipes and sudocrem than a childrens day care centre
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after being on tour for a while it takes time to get used to my real name.
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you have more baby wipes and sudocrem than a childrens day care centre
. Sudocrem ???? Isnt that a bit dry ???:S lol x
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you have more baby wipes and sudocrem than a childrens day care centre
. Sudocrem ???? Isnt that a bit dry ???:S lol x
I think it's recommended for after the action.
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you have more baby wipes and sudocrem than a childrens day care centre
. Sudocrem ???? Isnt that a bit dry ???:S lol x
I think it's recommended for after the action.
. Aaaahhhh salt n savlon bath meself ;) x
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You know you're an escort when...
...You place an ad on gumtree giving away something for free, assume everyone who replies is a timewaster...then end up trying to explain to 8 different people why you gave the old pc you promised them to the someone else.
So untrusting.
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youre relieved when an aquantance cancels a night out so you can make money eleswhere instead !
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When doing your hair and make up becomes something you can do in 20 mins flat, with a shower!
When you can also shave certain parts without looking...and successfully not cut yourself.
When youre used to having cash everywhere, and occasionally find rolls of notes in a sock in your drawer (wahooo! ;D )
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simply hilarious girls..mmm let me think,
becomming concious that everyone has seen you before somewhere ie on AW AND you get more looks from fellas in supermarkets with their wives.
This is so true, I notice that whenever I go out locally I get a lot more looks off guys out with their OH, and its usually one of nervousness and 'is that you?' perverted suspicion ;D I get well paranoid thinking 'no way, I bet you've seen me online'
Maybe its true or maybe its just my escort mind, haha!
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-your in a huge, poundland queue,buying wipes,mouthwash and condoms and think, is this really going to save me money,in long run, or am i going to miss 150 quid,shall i just go next door to boots???
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When in B&Q and look at something realising it would have a use during a dom session lol
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Standing at the cash machine on a Sunday making a deposit, you look over at the one next to you and notice a fellow wg doing the same thing.
You need to make deposits on Sunday, because the weekend was busy.
The spending cash you keep for incidentals, is about as much as the average persons weekly salary.
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when you get introduced to someone whose real name is your working name! And it gives you the creeps...
Has happened to me! And I had to exchange a few emails with her to arrange a surprise for a mutual friend. Never got used to seeing an email in my inbox from 'firstname/lastname' which was exactly my working name. Had to be very careful to sign my email with my real name. Confusing :FF
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when you get introduced to someone whose real name is your working name! And it gives you the creeps...
Has happened to me! And I had to exchange a few emails with her to arrange a surprise for a mutual friend. Never got used to seeing an email in my inbox from 'firstname/lastname' which was exactly my working name. Had to be very careful to sign my email with my real name. Confusing :FF
Never met anyone with the same name as my working name but I do have to double check that I'm signing my non work related emails off in my real name! Autopilot almost sees me signing off with my work name with three small kisses each time! LOL!
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when you get introduced to someone whose real name is your working name! And it gives you the creeps...
Has happened to me! And I had to exchange a few emails with her to arrange a surprise for a mutual friend. Never got used to seeing an email in my inbox from 'firstname/lastname' which was exactly my working name. Had to be very careful to sign my email with my real name. Confusing :FF
I changed my original working name when I met my boyfriend, and found out it was his sisters name :o
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when you get introduced to someone whose real name is your working name! And it gives you the creeps...
I had a friend with the same first name as my working name. She died and it felt so strange, like I was stealing something from her. Soiling her name. :'(
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When your shopping basket in boots consists of babywipes, ramer sponges, baby oil, lube, lipstick, condoms and chewing gum.
When you work out the cost of new stuff in time value rather than money, eg, new shoes ?50 ..'ahh thats only 15minutes....'
When you start thinking of all the free sex you had before you were an escort and thinking oh my god i should be a millionaire by now...
LOVE this thread!!
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youre in the launderette washing excessive amounts of towels and bed sheets and your single living alone !!!!!
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When your shopping basket in boots consists of babywipes, ramer sponges, baby oil, lube, lipstick, condoms and chewing gum.
When you work out the cost of new stuff in time value rather than money, eg, new shoes ?50 ..'ahh thats only 15minutes....'
When you start thinking of all the free sex you had before you were an escort and thinking oh my god i should be a millionaire by now...
LOVE this thread!!
Haha! My shopping basket is ALWAYS suspect! Condoms, lube, baby wipes, massage oil.... :o and free sex is such a turn off nowadays!
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I keep putting an 'x' at the end of each text I send, even to my dad or real life friends (i never used to do that before, and some people start making comments on that) ???
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I don't voice an opinion, due to the fact they aren't there to hear what I have to say. After the sex, they want to have the ego massaged. They want to be told they are handsome, desirable, and good little men, who aren't doing anything wrong. Fine, for the 55 minutes they are paying me for, I can hummm and haaaaa on queue. When the conversation becomes too boring, I will write blog posts in my head, plan out my afternoon, week, next vacation, and when it really becomes boring, distract them with more sex. There is only so much bullshit I can endure in be sitting.
If it's an hour I'm fine, I can smile and nod - it's the extended bookings that do my head in. Sleeping with someone you don't know: easy. Sleeping with someone who after a 5 hour dinner date you now know is a chauvenistic, egotistic, idiotic, Tory: much, much harder. But I get paid an awful lot so I'll stop complaining (it was pms...).
Or they are really, really boring :(
You know you're an escort when you feel yourself clamping your hand over your mouth as you go to tell a funny tale about the last guy you shagged and where, and your friends think you've been celibate for months...
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my escorting has kicked off big style this week and I LOVE IT!
iv been busy, anddd my purse is bulging with notes! normally im skint and no food to feed my babies by friday, but my fridge is full?
so i know im an escort when i dont have to borrow ?20 off my dad to live.
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You know you're an escort when the thought of going out sans makeup feels like a treat!
Maaaan, that feeling at the end of the day when you get to scrub off all the war paint is just the best. I feel so free spending a whole day bare faced :)
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In my case, i know i'm an escort when i haven't had a chance to pop to the bank yet...and the sock in my drawer is full of notes.
admittedly, my feet are tiny so it's probably not that full :(
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When putting on your clothes at the end of the day is better than anything.
Lol I buy all these nice clothes and never get to wear them :FF
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When the GUM clinic nurses know you and ask how you are... That happens to me all the time
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When the GUM clinic nurses know you and ask how you are... That happens to me all the time
same, the guy at the Gum clinic bit where they give out free condoms said to his older female co worker who didnt hear me that i needed two boxes for work..then procedeed to make conversation about me being shy still...and hes fit..i hate going there but needs must
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You know you're an escort when the thought of going out sans makeup feels like a treat!
Maaaan, that feeling at the end of the day when you get to scrub off all the war paint is just the best. I feel so free spending a whole day bare faced :)
Mine's when I get to take my fake eyelashes off, thats when I know I'm done for the day.
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Kim I was soooo pleased to see this post, that its taken off for you.. well happy for you xx
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youre counting youre money and its all yours :), you leap in the bath and strip of your makeup anf feel releif that you got bookings :)
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When you look sadly at a scented candle and wish you were allowed to light it - and then realise you're actually in your OWN bedroom rather than a Hotel for a change and you can light as many damn candles as you like!
R xx
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when I start getting ready for a client, for me puting my hold ups on means Im an escort ;D
Its like an uniform lol :FF I hate them and like them same time
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when I start getting ready for a client, for me puting my hold ups on means Im an escort ;D
Its like an uniform lol :FF I hate them and like them same time
I hear ya! I feel the same! It really is like a uniform, sexy undies and stockings/hold ups!
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...when you text your friends and almost type "so when did you want a booking for?", instead of "when do you want to meet?" lol
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...when you text your friends and almost type "so when did you want a booking for?", instead of "when do you want to meet?" lol
I ended up getting 2 seperate mobiles so i wouldnt answer the phone something along those lines !!!
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If anyone gives me an excuse as to why they can't do anything i.e. meet up etc I instantly disbelieve them as I'm so used to clients making excuses ::)
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When the 1st thing and last thing of your day involves checking AW!!! and 20 years later you still thinking i should retire!!!! ;)
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When your in Starbucks and they ask to write your name on your coffee cup and you say your working name instead of your real one....... that doesn't confuse my friends at all haha !!
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If anyone gives me an excuse as to why they can't do anything i.e. meet up etc I instantly disbelieve them as I'm so used to clients making excuses ::)
Me to and is that way what it's like when every newbie books. That way if they didn't show no worries. An added bonus if they tell the truth. :)
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I keep putting an 'x' at the end of each text I send, even to my dad or real life friends (i never used to do that before, and some people start making comments on that) ???
Yes. My fiance has noticed that, haha. x
...oh lordy I did it!
x
... AGAIN! LOL!
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When wearing the biggest, most baggy, unsexy knickers in the world feels like a treat
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When the person you are madly in love with decides to come and visit you unannounced and you are scared to death thinking you just had a booking cancelled 10 mins ago :D
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...
When you make up lies about what you work as! :D
When you have no social life. :D
When you become a good liar.
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When your in Starbucks and they ask to write your name on your coffee cup and you say your working name instead of your real one....... that doesn't confuse my friends at all haha !!
Managed to get around that one! They can NEVER spell my name right (even though it's the same name as a famous person) and so have decided to tell them different names each time, then post a picture onto FB to illustrate that I get them to write daft things - "fluffy", "Princess Leila", "Barbie" my friends don't bat an eyelid when it's not my name on the cup now.
Had the "you know you're an escort" feeling a few weeks ago when dealing with much stress and thought to myself, 'Yay, I can be someone else for a couple of hours!'... ah, escapism!
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...
When you make up lies about what you work as! :D
When you have no social life. :D
When you become a good liar.
too true !
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When you watch a man shove a cream egg up his bum and think to yourself "how bloody original" lol
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When you watch a man shove a cream egg up his bum and think to yourself "how bloody original" lol
Easter for the extremists?
That would have given me a little giggle haha !!
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When you watch a man shove a cream egg up his bum and think to yourself "how bloody original" lol
Lol - I guess it's when you can listen to any potential Client describe what he wants to do during a booking and respond in a way that sounds enthusiastic, excited and turned on - even if the activity itself leaves you stone cold and slightly queasy.
R xx
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When you watch a man shove a cream egg up his bum and think to yourself "how bloody original" lol
Lol - I guess it's when you can listen to any potential Client describe what he wants to do during a booking and respond in a way that sounds enthusiastic, excited and turned on - even if the activity itself leaves you stone cold and slightly queasy.
R xx
Or be able to bring a man off on the phone while watching Jeremy Kyle lol xx The other thing I get asked a lot is "whats the weirdest thing you have done" and I reply with "what do you consider weird" lol
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for me, when getting dressed up sexy for my boyf makes me feel like a fraud!
when you're an expert at faking it.
and when chipping a nail is like the end of the world!
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When you get home after a job, go to the bathroom and think you've crapped yourself...and then remember the chocolate body paint incident! hahaha
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You have two e-mail addresses
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OMG i must be an escort :P Sat pmsl at the posts not sure if this has been mentioned and may only be me but mentioning my laptop isn't working right and panicking as my brother tells me he'll fix it for me ..... ::)
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OMG i must be an escort :P Sat pmsl at the posts not sure if this has been mentioned and may only be me but mentioning my laptop isn't working right and panicking as my brother tells me he'll fix it for me ..... ::)
Oh god yes....and deleting all your browsing history every time anyone comes to stay who may need to use the computer/laptop!
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OMG i must be an escort :P Sat pmsl at the posts not sure if this has been mentioned and may only be me but mentioning my laptop isn't working right and panicking as my brother tells me he'll fix it for me ..... ::)
OMG i must be an escort :P Sat pmsl at the posts not sure if this has been mentioned and may only be me but mentioning my laptop isn't working right and panicking as my brother tells me he'll fix it for me ..... ::)
Oh god yes....and deleting all your browsing history every time anyone comes to stay who may need to use the computer/laptop!
hahaha been there ...too funny...and true..love it :)
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I think i genuine felt like a escort yesterday, when my friend was gushing about her new job, earning 250 a week, and in my head i was thinking, wow i like to get atleast 600. I'm glad i didn't say nothing, as before i started this line of work, i was happy with my ?400 a month part time job in a shop (i loved it at the time) now i realized how much my mind set has changed...
i felt like an escort then 8)
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When you buy four Valentines Day cards - a nice one for the OH and three rude ones to make regular Clients laugh.
R xx
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the laptop one yikes yes i told my grown ups they will never use my laptop as they messed up the desk top and have their own just to save my skin in case they asked lol.
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When a strategically placed dollop of KY Jelly is a standard part of your "getting ready" ritual.
When you drive past one of those brown "tourist places of interest" signs that says WATER SPORTS and you realise you have been ruined forever.
When you can work out the lighting/banks of switches in a hotel room in a few seconds flat ... what is it with hotel lighting ?
When you have the discipline/determination to endure lying in the dark, wide awake, knowing you have hours to go, next to a stranger who will want sex with you again in the morning, once more, before your jubilant exit with a bulky envelope.
When what was once conversation becomes your practised "set routine".
When you dread meeting someone new in case they don't like you.
When you buy waterproof mascara so it doesn't look as though you've been crying after a gruelling blow job.
When one of your major concerns about having a car accident is that the contents of your bag will give the game away (rather than worrying about whether you survive the accident).
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When your mother calls you to tell you the merits of BB and it takes you far too long to get that she is talking about the cream. Eurgh why name a cream that!
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I was at Morrisons buying salad and picked up a cucumber and thought to myself "mmmm this could be quite good for buggering a sub"
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Just saw that someone has took this thread and neatened peoples answers up a bit, bit of formatting and posted it on AW as a blog... huh ?!
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no way!!! how lazy is that!!!!
you buy 6 packs of johnsons baby wipes from the co-op chemist for a fiver and an 18 pack of condoms from semi-chem, lube from poundland and think " that's my tools for the next few weeks for peanuts kerching"" lol
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You should get your condoms online packs of 150 odd for ?15 (theres a thread on here about it)
When you can advise people on where to get the cheapest condoms......
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Just saw that someone has took this thread and neatened peoples answers up a bit, bit of formatting and posted it on AW as a blog... huh ?!
I do hope I got full credit for my contributions?
R
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Just saw that someone has took this thread and neatened peoples answers up a bit, bit of formatting and posted it on AW as a blog... huh ?!
I do hope I got full credit for my contributions?
R
Oh FFS :FF
I was planning on doing this! Grrr...I'll have to do one titled "you know you're a punter when..." Somehow it just doesn't have the same ring to it...
(I?d have given credit to all concerned of course lol)
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Just saw that someone has took this thread and neatened peoples answers up a bit, bit of formatting and posted it on AW as a blog... huh ?!
I do hope I got full credit for my contributions?
R
Hadn't even thought of that, petition to AW anyone :P
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Hadn't even thought of that, petition to AW anyone :P
I dont have the mental energy to bother complaining to AW and it strikes me as kind of funny that someone could rip this thread off and think that it wouldn't be noticed but... :FF
So how about - you know you're an Escort when everyone queues up to rip you off - even other women!
R xx
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COPYRIGHT LAW...generally if you post on a forum, the FORUM OWNER(S) then own your words/what you posted. Therefore, legally Saafe could request that the blog owner AND/OR AW removes the said blog. AND/OR sue the blog owner AND/OR AW for copyright theft.
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Yeah I'm sure but has anyone actually got the time or inclination to go through all the new blogs from yesterday and find that post and then file the report ?
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Who cares anyway? Good luck to them! I always find it hard to think of things to write on blogs! Good for them for having the initiative! why is everyone so keen to report others all the time? We're here to support one another aren't we?
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Who cares anyway? Good luck to them! I always find it hard to think of things to write on blogs! Good for them for having the initiative! why is everyone so keen to report others all the time? We're here to support one another aren't we?
Ditto :)
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In the middle of bookings counting my earnings. When at the same time remaining focused on client.
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Jerking off a guy while trying to figure out what I'm going to have for dinner.
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Jerking off a guy while trying to figure out what I'm going to have for dinner.
That is a classic. :)
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You know you are an escort when, you have to block your working account from following your real account on Google+! :-\
When someone commented on the funny bunny ears I have in my iPhone, and my reaction was, they don't vibrate.
Or when a friend asks how you lost so much weight and you blithely say, "oh, I stopped sticking everything in my mouth except cock!"
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Studying carefully your neighbours lives & daily moves (MI5 style) in order to make the traffic to your apartment un-noticed.
Trying to avoid your building maintenance guy cause you don't want him to see you coming in an out "too many times".
(Once I had to go down to the entrance hall of my building (buzzer was not working) to open the door to a client and was greeted by the building maintenance guy who was fixing the buzzer in that moment. So I opened the door to my client as in "Hi Uncle Tom!" LOL..)
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Just saw that someone has took this thread and neatened peoples answers up a bit, bit of formatting and posted it on AW as a blog... huh ?!
I do hope I got full credit for my contributions?
R
Hadn't even thought of that, petition to AW anyone :P
whom did that ? do please tell me ...
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Sex will never ever be the same since having to dress up as a guy ex mother in law and pretend to be her
You know all the hotels in various cities that are escort friendly
You can never go to hotel without checking out the lifts and corridors to see if it workable
You are an accomplished professional liar both in bed and out of it
Every bag that you own has a condom wrapper in it
You can shower, shit, and shave and be dressed to work in 15mins flat out inc makeup
You cant help but looking at other women and thinking you could be making xxx per hour
You can count money quicker than a teller at a casino
?50 notes are no longer exciting
You work in multiples of xxx holiday will take me 3 days or 9 bookings
You are an expert at packing/unpacking a suitcase and know to the killo how much it weighs
Knowing your neighbours movements better than they do
Can swipe towels from a hotel trolly without even breaking a stride
All your bath towels are from hotels that you have stayed in
You never have to buy a pen because you have loads from the hotels that you have stayed in
You have at least 3 phones, half a dozen sim cards and 2 dongles
You will never ever be surprised at what a person ( any person) can and will do
If anyone looks at your phone they would think that its has very severe case of Tourrets syndrome due to the amount of fuckheads fuckwit asshole and dickhead listed in it
You cant take your laptop or phone to a regular shop to get it fixed
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You know you are an Escort when you go into the City and you look at these well to do bankers and wonder which one of them are wearing women's underwear from M&S under their D&G suits........................
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you have the misfortune of being attracted to a non client ( sex is bad) it all goes horribly wrong and then you feel relieved when a client visits and has paid for sex, you know what you're getting !!!
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you have the misfortune of being attracted to a non client ( sex is bad) it all goes horribly wrong and then you feel relieved when a client visits and has paid for sex, you know what you're getting !!!
How do civil women manage? :o
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You know you are an Escort when you go into the City and you look at these well to do bankers and wonder which one of them are wearing women's underwear from M&S under their D&G suits........................
So true!
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When a strategically placed dollop of KY Jelly is a standard part of your "getting ready" ritual.
When you drive past one of those brown "tourist places of interest" signs that says WATER SPORTS and you realise you have been ruined forever.
When you can work out the lighting/banks of switches in a hotel room in a few seconds flat ... what is it with hotel lighting ?
When you have the discipline/determination to endure lying in the dark, wide awake, knowing you have hours to go, next to a stranger who will want sex with you again in the morning, once more, before your jubilant exit with a bulky envelope.
When what was once conversation becomes your practised "set routine".
When you dread meeting someone new in case they don't like you.
When you buy waterproof mascara so it doesn't look as though you've been crying after a gruelling blow job.
When one of your major concerns about having a car accident is that the contents of your bag will give the game away (rather than worrying about whether you survive the accident).
Or when you're main concern about having an accident is because it'd be on the m1 and you'd A. Have to explain to others why you were on the m1 and not sat at your imaginary office job and B. will miss half a days work before you got to the hotel lol.
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you have the misfortune of being attracted to a non client ( sex is bad) it all goes horribly wrong and then you feel relieved when a client visits and has paid for sex, you know what you're getting !!!
This is my view now so am not interested in nothing other than clients. As have learned that many outside after one night stands have been not good in the department. Even if got with some one it would be a client. But with clients we're there bit on the side. I am ok with that. Clients have shown me more sexual experience than any one before. And there I was thinking I had some sexual disability before escorting. No it was them not being exciting enough.
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You have two e-mail addresses
When you have 4 email addresses... 2 phones + approx 5 shitty 10pound spares.. A notpad of work passwords... Two laptops... 2 paypals
The list continues
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And when you end up lying/opt out when playing ' i have never' with friends cus you know you'll be pissed after 10 minutes!
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Your stomach drops when people turn up unexpectedly and you know you need to go and double check that you've hidden the lube, nappy bags, babywipes and lingerie in the guest (aka work) room from unknowing eyes!
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When the mountain of wet wipe packets is at an all time high (i currently have 20 odd packs in the airing cupboard)...my mum came round and they fell out of the cupboard on her!
luckily i can explain it as overstocking for a music festival im heading to in two weeks! ;D
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luckily i can explain it as overstocking for a music festival im heading to in two weeks!
Why would you carry 10 packets of baby wipes to a music festival??? :o that's weird.
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i'll take maybe2 or 3 packs - i went through 4 packs last year cos of the mud! and its 5 days camping....
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When a guy rings sounds pretty middle aged, and when you clock him and looks about 80 odd if a day... A proper panic attack kicks in, you know you will have to draw on all acting skills for that hour!!
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when i worked with an agency they sent me to a really old boy - he was 85 (he told me this) and made me talk dirty to him. and not normal dirty. kind of along the lines of "i love your old wrinkly hands in my c**t"...was probably the most awkward i had ever felt.
realised shortly after leaving he was at least 10 years older than my grandad :-[
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when you have AW bookmarked on your laptop and your phone
when you get an email or a text and immediately think of bookings, how much and what you'll be spending the cash on - then realise its a text from your friend!
when you're arranging lunch with a friend and you say "are we meeting for 1 hour, 2 hours or 3?" ...and in the back of your mind you're doing the maths on potential earnings - even though its just lunch with a friend (and not a booking with a client!) lol
when you can spot another working girl a mile off, and see similarities in yourself
when you are single and your friend asks you "when was the last time you had sex?" and you have to lie to their face
I am guilty of all the above! :D
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... You have to shuffle all your clothes in the wardrobe when you have a guest in case they wonder why you have two sets of clothes.
... You make up a very unusual and personal hobby (nude art classes) that apparently requires a supply drawer so said guest will not ever open up your whore drawer.
... You have unusual reactions to joke presents such as "Ohhhh a butt plug?? I haven't got one like this!" "Penis shaped pasta... Oh yeah, hilarious since penises going near my mouth is a novelty for me..." "Ohhh these handcuffs are really strong, fabulous!"
... There are imaginary people in your life (a manager, a friend from work etc)
... Your best friend is forever introducing you to people by the wrong name if you are wearing "sexy" clothes at the time!
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...when you're sat in an open university exam and a question comes up about website development and all you can think about is how you designed your own escort website......then a question about reverse auctions and using AW reverse bookings as an example (using a different profession of course!)
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... You have to shuffle all your clothes in the wardrobe when you have a guest in case they wonder why you have two sets of clothes.
... There are imaginary people in your life (a manager, a friend from work etc)
Ha-ha Imaginary friends, I have quite a few...
** when a friend that you think sussed you but no one would say anything asks you if you're working today as they want to do something together...you say..yes I work from say 2 PM...you go out with le friend and a 3PM they say...hey, aren't you supposed to be in work at 2...and you go..oh yeah, but they cancelled it by email/txt ... :-/ ..daft cow!
** when chatting with your best mate on skype and then it comes time for your booking and you pretend you're sleepy, but one hour later you're up liking things on fb lolll
** when a friend texts "you in?" and you know they would be at the door in 2 minutes if you dont text back a lie rapidly.
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When after meeting a fuck buddy you feel a bit sad because he didn't give you money. ::)
When you can determine your partner condom size in less than 3 seconds and never make a mistake.
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When you are moving out of your house and the estate agents are showing potential tenants around, and you can't decide whether to acknowledge that you accidentally left your 6ft bull whip on display (tenant AND estate agent clearly having seen said bull whip), just to stay silent or to say that it's' art'. I went with the awkward silence option.
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When you are moving out of your house and the estate agents are showing potential tenants around, and you can't decide whether to acknowledge that you accidentally left your 6ft bull whip on display (tenant AND estate agent clearly having seen said bull whip), just to stay silent or to say that it's' art'. I went with the awkward silence option.
when the next door pops round to pick some post and there's an inflatable butt plug under your handbag on the sofa, and she can see the pump but you can't push it and hide it anymore, so you start an awkward conversation about weather.
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When internet dating I think that every man over 50 looks like my typical client!
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When you get back from a late night booking like i just have and you get your shower ect then get in to bed and lay there thinking ahhh, this is the life.
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@sweetcheeks
So true!!!!! ;D
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... You have to shuffle all your clothes in the wardrobe when you have a guest in case they wonder why you have two sets of clothes.
... You make up a very unusual and personal hobby (nude art classes) that apparently requires a supply drawer so said guest will not ever open up your whore drawer.
... You have unusual reactions to joke presents such as "Ohhhh a butt plug?? I haven't got one like this!" "Penis shaped pasta... Oh yeah, hilarious since penises going near my mouth is a novelty for me..." "Ohhh these handcuffs are really strong, fabulous!"
... There are imaginary people in your life (a manager, a friend from work etc)
... Your best friend is forever introducing you to people by the wrong name if you are wearing "sexy" clothes at the time!
haha whore drawer I love it! Like Michael mcintyres man drawer. My mum n sister were rooting through mineother day ggiggling to each other (obvs they know i work)
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.......your toy chest looks like a sex toy catalogue.
......you have a bigger assortment of condoms than Boots.
......your shoes are arranged by height, in front of the door.
......your lingerie is arranged according to cost.
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Fantastic thread!
-You have the raging urge to tell everyone to tell gorgeous girls they could be earning so much more money
-All your body insecurities have simply gone
-Your confidence is the highest it has ever been since forever
-When you are dancing with your friends and maybe feel like an idiot, you remind yourself, fuck, I get paid to have sex with men. I have that courage and strength so I don't give a shit what ANYONE thinks about me!
-You have zero trust for anyone
-You tolerate a lot less bullshit from people as you deal with idiots every day
-You shower more every day than anyone else you know
-You realize how the media/certain people shuns our community and makes us second class citizens yet we are probably happier and earning more money than most people, and it is only the few who do not have their heads in the right place to handle/effectively run their business or the idiot punters who hurt/are idiots with escorts who ruin it for the rest of us and our clients.
-Big knickers, your own bed, tracksuit bottoms, baggy clothes and no need for make up are worth more than anything on a day off.
-You feel like you have left the life you lived before and in almost a dream like world that you feel like you are the only person living in.
-You are more aware of danger and dangerous situations and types of people (especially on a night out, you have your vibe meter on all the time)
-You get a better perception on people by the way they talk or act
-I becomes hard to realize if you are really you in a relationship or your escort alter-ego. Unless you are a dominatrix maybe >.< I guess that one depends
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I becomes hard to realize if you are really you in a relationship or your escort alter-ego. Unless you are a dominatrix maybe >.< I guess that one depends
I had this at the beginning but my boyfriend likes a performance :D
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When you hear a song and think "ohh that would be good on my 30 min playlist"
When you buy stockings in bulk!
When you have a million sim cards and dongles.
When you visit a hotel the first thing you check for are key cards and make a mental note.
When you can re make a bed in 2 mins flat (house keepers too lol)!
When you have 3 phone voices. Personal Life, Personal Life Professional and Work!
When (if you advertise in the paper) you can describe yourself head to toe in 20 seconds whilst putting on mascara!
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When you hear a song and think "ohh that would be good on my 30 min playlist"
HAHAHA Yes! This is true! I laughed like hell ;D
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Ive noticed more women with hair bands round their wrists ( to keep their hair out their mouths) ,lol and ohh shes 1 to lol ooops that's bad lol hehehe
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You can tell sw w.o having to look or think too hard
You view bp ads & you can tell who's fake, who's not & if they get work based on ads & picks
You have more than one bank account, prepaid credit card, endless phones, etc
You have considered living out of a hotel
You view bp ads to places that you're considering moving to to see how much business you can get & how much you can charge
You have endless tasks/memos in your phone & endless comp books laying around
Your bills for luggage, make-up, beuaty are through the roof
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...you look at men of a certain age and wonder if they'd be nice clients!
I'm guilty of this every single day haha
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You know you're a dominatrix when the Dr suggests a course on CBT for stress and you don't think of cognitive behaviour therapy first :D !!!!!!!
I just sat there looking at him and then when he said the full title I couldn't stop laughing, he now thinks I'm mad and not just stressed!!
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When you see "BBW" and automatically think "big, beautiful women"
When you see "BBC" and automatically think "big black cock"
When you have to be careful opening your handbag in front of people in case your stockings fall out.
When you avoid going outdoors without being made up unless a client sees you.
When you develop a constant 'my time is precious' mindset even outside of work and during your day to day life and end up watching the clock on social occasions.
When you receive a random friends request on your personal facebook you start to panic a little.
When sponges remind you of periods and not the washing up or bath time :P
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When wearing clothes is a novelty
When your search history is mostly porn/online sex shops/adultwork
When the staff at the gum clinic know you on first name terms
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When you know for sure that there is no ladylike way to remove a condom that has gone rogue ... and when you accidentally put a dab of lube on when going out of a date.
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I definitely think of things in terms of hours. Like "oh, that's only 2 and a bit hours' work... I can do that!" :P
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...you look at men of a certain age and wonder if they'd be nice clients!
I'm guilty of this every single day haha
I do this with nearly every adult male I meet.
A couple of days ago I had a gas fitter in to clean and service my boiler. A nice man and I was so sure he must be a punter that I very nearly asked him if he'd like a booking - lol.
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Lol I can read this thread all day long!
When you look at your dad and wondering has he ever pay for sex before..
When you have more than one phone..
When you had to go into ann summers, lasenza every time you walk pass..
When you look at every girls on the street and wondering are they doing the same job as you..
When you always have full of cash in a envolope in your house..
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When you look at your dad and wondering has he ever pay for sex before..
I look at my dad and think 'Fuck, he is EXACTLY my usual clients profile, I hope he doesn't spend a lot of time on the internet!'
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When you look at your dad and wondering has he ever pay for sex before..
I look at my dad and think 'Fuck, he is EXACTLY my usual clients profile, I hope he doesn't spend a lot of time on the internet!'
My dad has and does pay for sex. He goes to Thailand 2/3 times a year and is really on the whole Thailand and Thaigirl "scene" since him and my mum split 9years ago. He refuses to date English women or women his own age, so I know for a fact he doesn't pay for it over here, although my parents know what I do anyway. He has had a few more serious relationships (depending on what you consider serious) with the Thai girls out there and spends weeks with them at a time. He only sees girls like 18-25 though lol! And we all went out to Thailand together he introduced me to his 22year old girlfriend and I was only 20 at the time!
Good holiday though :)
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When you see a girl with a little wheelie suitcase NOT in a business suit at the train station and think "girl on tour"
When you see someone lurking outside a building phone in hand and think "punter waiting for flat number"
eek
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You have 3 different types of condoms in every bag you own.
You find random ?10/?20 notes hidden around your flat which you don't remember hiding.
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When you stay in a hotel that doesn't leave wine glasses in the room so you trawl the corridors for used room service trays and steal them to wash and use for clients...
Even worse - you get excited when you find a total of three in one trawl as you know you won't have to drink out of the 'bathroom glass' when you do a duo booking and there's three of you drinking wine!!
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I definitely think of things in terms of hours. Like "oh, that's only 2 and a bit hours' work... I can do that!" :P
All the timmmmeee! Nice bag= 2 hours etc! Haha
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You pack your own linens & cleaning supplies for hotels
You look through lobbies for more than one entry
You have endless alibi for visitors if called out
You know how to talk to the police better than you wish to
You're a feminist
You laugh when people down prossies... meanwhile they do it for
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When you stay in a hotel that doesn't leave wine glasses in the room so you trawl the corridors for used room service trays and steal them to wash and use for clients...
This is just hilarious. Great idea!
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When a dry spell gets you looking at part time jobs and you realise you would have to work 16 hours to get what you currently earn in an hour. You think, "fuck that!"
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You have 3 different types of condoms in every bag you own.
You find random ?10/?20 notes hidden around your flat which you don't remember hiding.
This! Found ?1000 euros in an old bag and ?450 in a book last time I had a clearout. Lovely surprise. Getting better at banking the stuff now ::)
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When a dry spell gets you looking at part time jobs and you realise you would have to work 16 hours to get what you currently earn in an hour. You think, "fuck that!"
Exactly!
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When you are about to book that hair appointment and tell yourself
"Say blowDRY!" ::)
Looool!!!! Thanks!!! It really made me laugh!!!
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When you get a civvie job, do the maths and work out you make ?10 an hour and then go "oh..." when all your peers would be really jealous (I'm a 20 y/o student).
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- when you could realistically return a pair of heels a year later, because they look brand new having spent more time pointing at the ceiling than being on the floor
- when you're friend asks to borrow a condom on a night out and you ask 'which kind?'
- when you pay for everything from chewing gum to a new TV with ?20 notes
- when you don't buy clothes you like because they might rip when taken off quickly
- when your girlfriends complain about sex and guys and you have to stop quickly yourself trumping all their stories
- when you buy more toothpaste and mouthwash in a month that your friends do in a year
- when you give a blowjob in synch to a song on your playlist because you've done it so many times
- when you hear a song and the first thing that springs to mind is a memorable client or sexual experience
- when you even convince yourself that your moaning is real
- when you accidentally put a condom on a guy (in your private life) using your mouth and have to pretend you were trying to be sexy
- when you're on your back and a guy is really trying his best, yet in your mind you're thinking about how the ceiling needs painting badly
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You invite a male friend over and almost ask him if he'd like you to wear anything in particular!
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Seeing an ad in a beauty salon for facials makes you snigger inside............... :)
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Seeing an ad in a beauty salon for facials makes you snigger inside............... :)
This - every time.
On a similar note, one of my colleagues in my other job has the initials BJ & people are always writing his initials in emails - I just think, 'Surely I'm not the only one who knows what else that stands for!'
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You see a little cock and you smile, you see a big cock and think "oh fuck..."
I wish all my clients could have little cocks!
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When you have to be careful opening your handbag in front of people in case your stockings fall out.
Haha, I was rummaging in my bag for something and knocked my lube onto the floor of the crowded train I was on. There were loads of people standing up and it literally rolled comically in between people's legs until I managed to snatch it up. This little old lady sat opposite me was staring at me wide-eyed for the rest of the journey.
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Sex under the covers as opposed to on top of them seems like a strange fetish...
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Sex under the covers as opposed to on top of them seems like a strange fetish...
Haha! I used to love nasty sex ALL THE TIME and now when BF fucks me gently, in missionary, it's so EXCITING!
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when everyone you know apart from your family calls you by your work name?. :o
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Sex under the covers as opposed to on top of them seems like a strange fetish...
Ha yes! I've had a client a few times who when I return from hiding cash is under the covers, always takes a split second to process the situation.haha
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If your pics DON'T show your face and punter asks 4 face pic= Tw
You've considered webcamping and/or stripping when times were slow
You know none of these guys respect you
You have to resist the urge to roll your eyes when a guy says youre beautiful especially if you dnt have face
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You watch an advert on tele and it reminds you of sex work phrases smiling away.
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You check your Facebook and see a picture of Ian McKellen with Bill CondoM...
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You never went to College but you sure as hell know all about A-Levels ;D
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you are a bit overweight and would like to lose some of that. But clients keep telling you how beautiful you are and how nice your body feels and looks (there goes my motivation! ;D)
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You log on to SAAFE everyday :D
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@ Red KB +1!!! I am so glad I found this forum when I did. Very helpful!
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Your bestie texts you "bb, not doing much atm" and you have to remind yourself she's a civvie....
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When you get home and realise you lay on a condom wrapper and it's stuck to your back.
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When I realise that I wan to fuck all the men that I see... LOL
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You go on holiday and start looking at the apartment from a professional point of view. Ease of access for clients, tick. Discretion, tick. Receptions bloody miles away, tick. Free and plenty of parking, tick. Shower facilities, tick. Abundance of towels, tick. ;D
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You always looking at hotel deals online for your next tour!
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when your visiting friend is asking for bathroom and comes back in 1 min saying: There is a but-plug in your sink....
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You walk down a street and happen to notice a chap sitting in his car................. and you wonder if he's waiting to go into a booking (!!!!) LOL
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You see a little cock and you smile, you see a big cock and think "oh fuck..."
I wish all my clients could have little cocks!
And I thought that was just me ;D
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You answer the door in your Ann Summer's finest and Bordello shoes and don't bat an eye when it's the 'electric guy' and tell him to go upstairs to read the meter! 8)
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You pack four pair of heels in various colours for two nights in a hotel and you will only leave the room in flip flops.
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When an "innocent" sends you a message or says something we relate to sex, but they have no idea of the significance in my mind, makes me smile inside. I have a siter who abbreviates everything in messages to me and they have double entendres she has no idea about!
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When you spend twice as long as anyone else on the toilet in the morning wishing that just for once you didn't offer anal. I've started leaving the douches on the side pretending they're for constipation 8)
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When you have sex with a boyfriend and am secretly pissed off you're not getting paid x
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When you have sex with a boyfriend and am secretly pissed off you're not getting paid x
Or when they are so mediocre you think "really?"
Also wanting to be a lazy lover in private life sometimes b
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When I see all these men out and about and think which escort have they seen? Which of these men might have cheesy knobs and shitty arses? Never thought about that much before..
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When you have sex with a boyfriend and am secretly pissed off you're not getting paid x
...I sometimes check how long me and my bf have been "at it" and automatically work out how much money I'd have earned if I was at work!
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When your bedroom, ensuite & hallway are always perfectly OCD tidy vs the rest of your house.
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When your bedroom, ensuite & hallway are always perfectly OCD tidy vs the rest of your house.
Yes! My incall place is spotless and everything in its place!
Home well not so much even though I have a cleaner
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When your bedroom, ensuite & hallway are always perfectly OCD tidy vs the rest of your house.
My incall flats hallway, bathroom and work/bedroom are spotless but he lounge is like a bomb site! I just close the doors on the rooms they don't see x
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"Can we have sex in the kitchen / living room / other bedroom" Ummm........... *quick think of a sexy distraction*
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That's the problem I have, as my house is open plan except for the spare bedroom so I have to keep tidying it up and I have too many ornaments, can be a talking point though as I have wooden cocks and boob pillows etc.
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When I see all these men out and about and think which escort have they seen? Which of these men might have cheesy knobs and shitty arses? Never thought about that much before..
similar thinking also wanting none of the most frightening creepy individuals I bump into in town to look on aw and call me
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When a good day is more than a months wage :P
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- You spend any spare time plucking, moisturising, cleaning or general titivating far more than you ever did before
- You don't worry about surprise bills and everything is paid up to date
- Your friends in the know love going out for drinks as your stories are far better than theirs!
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- Stockings flung off meaning you've conquered work for the day
- When your friends crack up at any mention of your job
- You've not seen what your pubes look like in years, can't even remember the color.
- You're bedtime is a few minutes past 12.00 once you've featured, after you've calmed down from the shot the weird adrenalin boost that is getting cheap featuring.
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- You're bedtime is a few minutes past 12.00 once you've featured, after you've calmed down from the shot the weird adrenalin boost that is getting cheap featuring.
I've not done this myself but it sounds like the feeling you get when you've just won an ebay auction!
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You appreciate the value of time way more
Relationships are hard for you
A queen would kill for your closet
You get a gym membership just to not get overcharged by storage (if you live in fear of being outed)
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-When you have condoms in every handbag that you own.
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when you worry about bumping into your punters anywhere you go :FF .
when you have a fake working name .
when you ask for a ground floor hotel room for easy access.
when you budget for baby wipes and condoms each week/monthly .
when you go to the bank at least once a week .
when you always check your working mail at least once a day .
when you keep up with pedicure and manicure at least once a week .
when you are asked for free sex and you get offended .
when you lie about yourself to a punter .
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When you look through your peep hole.Then double check in the mirror behind that your hair is looking good in suspense about what the client will be like.
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When you have to pretend you don't have as much money as you do so as not to make people curious.
(My friend's mum picked up on this, so she told her I was a stripper hehehe)
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when you* get it on* with a non client and treat him like a client ! :-*
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You have, "work wear jewlwery box" so your necklaces / bangles don't swing and knock clients out
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When you have sex with a boyfriend and am secretly pissed off you're not getting paid x
...I sometimes check how long me and my bf have been "at it" and automatically work out how much money I'd have earned if I was at work!
I do this with a current lover
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Every time I spend money, I work out how long it will take to earn it back i.e. 30 pounds = 15mins etc. and I also smile because that would take me nearly 3 hours in my day job! ;D
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If you think about a current guy you're dating and actually have to remind yourself that he didn't pay you but is actually a real date---
then you wonder if he's really worth getting you for free and you shouldn't be spending time making money instead of seeing someone who might be wasting your time in the long-run.
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I never think about civy sex in comparison for work sex. When I'm with someone for fun I am doing it for my own selfish reasons and I'm a lot more free and dirty and relaxed because this is "me time." I don't mean that I am selfish in regards to their pleasure. I just mean that I don't worry about being worth ??? per hour or whatever. I just do what I want. It's entirely different to me.
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I never think about civy sex in comparison for work sex. When I'm with someone for fun I am doing it for my own selfish reasons and I'm a lot more free and dirty and relaxed because this is "me time." I don't mean that I am selfish in regards to their pleasure. I just mean that I don't worry about being worth ??? per hour or whatever. I just do what I want. It's entirely different to me.
I'm the same. Work doesn't even cross my mind... unless for some reason it's really shit sex, then I might think about it I guess. But that hasn't happened yet 8)
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I actually enjoy myself most of the time with my clients. I don't really see more than two guys a day, that's maybe a reason but also because I am naturally really horny:-). Since I started escorting again, it mixes up with my life, so I actually see some guys for personal reasons and charge them a flat rate just because I genuinely like them and find them very attractive.
I know many of you girls disagree with me (but I am confident many do get my point), I just can't look at this occupation mainly as a business, it would affect me personally. I always try to see a person and man in everyone, the good and the bad sides. And I am actually really grateful for this opportunity to make such incredible amounts of money in such a short time. That's why I love all my clients and most often don't even feel I am giving them a service but enjoying myself.
Yes, there is a regular customer I begin to dislike, mostly because of his weight which first didn't really bother me.
But the more often we meet (by now 3 times) the more relaxed he becomes with his grooming habits and I noticed some very strange scars all over his body the last time which now make me very uncomfortable?I am actually afraid he could have some sort of strange disease he isn't telling me about.
I will keep this guy just in case I need some quick cash and don't get too many calls, I really don't think I want to see any man I don't feel comfortable with or dislike because it seriously affects me if it is more than one time. But especially the new customers---I don't know why but I seriously enjoy the most. Regulars are more of a head fuck---you seriously need to please them and most of them want a more personal relationship in the end. I don't like closeness very much, that's probably why.
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When it's quiet and the thought of having to go a day without sex mortifies you! ;D
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When you can have a normal conversation with cum still on your tits! X
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When contemplating sex with your partner you consider how much time and energy you have, then roughly categorize it as a 15min quickie, 30 min with some variety, hourish with massage and possibly dressing up sexy...etc
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When you can have a normal conversation with cum still on your tits! X
Nia, hahaha, loved that one ;D ;D ;D ;D
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You plan going away to stay at family's (my mum lives in a different country) in the week your period's due ;)
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when you worry about bumping into your punters anywhere you go :FF .
when you have a fake working name .
when you ask for a ground floor hotel room for easy access.
when you budget for baby wipes and condoms each week/monthly .
when you go to the bank at least once a week .
when you always check your working mail at least once a day .
when you keep up with pedicure and manicure at least once a week .
when you are asked for free sex and you get offended .
when you lie about yourself to a punter .
So true......!
I tried internet dating and met some toasting-hot, six-pack-hard-bods,
but kept feeling guilty about having free sex....
It's just so not right. :o
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when you* get it on* with a non client and treat him like a client ! :-*
Totally , I started sex work after a break up, then after working the first few months I ended up I bed with ex, he didn't realise but I could tell I was completely different in way I was having sex
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You plan going away to stay at family's (my mum lives in a different country) in the week your period's due ;)
Yep I can only have pill breaks if my bank balance is ok
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When escorting becomes the new norm and the civvy world becomes boring.
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You pray for the day that they will turn all ATM's into overnight deposit machines! I would love to finish a long night and chuck the money in the bank on the way home rather than waiting until the next morning to deposit it. Although I also get a buzz out of seeing a big stack of money on the side so it's hard to decide on that one.
You buy everything in bulk - condoms, baby wipes, lube, tissues etc.
The GUM clinic give you HUGE packs of condoms while your non-sex worker friends only get 6, I always give a little smile when they complain they have run out ;)
You go shopping at 3AM after work in full whore hair and makeup but your most comfortable tracksuit, well your work clothes wouldn't be appropriate would they?
You buy your first car at 20 in cash and now your nearly 27 your about to buy outright your own house, sod mortgage companies.
You have a different shitty PAYG phone for each of your adverts so you know where your customers are coming from and everyone who knows you but doesn't know what you do thinks your a drug dealer.
Banks love you they want you to invest in everything but where were they when you were in debt and asking for that loan? Exactly.
Beautiful new micro-ring hair extensions are a tax-deductible item when you can convince your accountant you only got them to further your career. Yeah as if I wouldn't have got them otherwise?!
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Every time you see bb. Your balls (if you had them) shrivel up inside you in disgust.
^ also an abbreviation for byebye or baby.
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;)
When you see those BB cosmetic products on the shelves and have a giggle to yourself.
;)
yes! totally! loll
Sorry, I'm new here. What are wrong with BB creams? I've never bought them....
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;)
When you see those BB cosmetic products on the shelves and have a giggle to yourself.
;)
yes! totally! loll
Sorry, I'm new here. What are wrong with BB creams? I've never bought them....
Nothing at all. The poster meant that when we see "BB" we think of "bareback" rather than "beauty balm."
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When all of your non-escorting clothes remind you of the days when you were a student and couldn't afford anything other than leggings and vest tops.
Seriously, I spend 3 days a week in tiny dresses, high heels and stringy underwear, course I'm going to be in huge/ugly/cheap/comfy clothes for the rest of the week.
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When someone asks you out and your mind goes into a sort of blank freeze slow motion type 'WHY.... would.... I ...want...to...DO...such a thing!?' mode x
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It gets towards the end of the tax year and you start thinking about what you can buy and write off as a tax expense.
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You have insta mini abs all the time because of the amount of sex.
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When someone asks you out and your mind goes into a sort of blank freeze slow motion type 'WHY.... would.... I ...want...to...DO...such a thing!?' mode x
YES
And when you do go on a date you spend the entire time thinking about how much money you should be making off of it and then get home and start dissecting whether you were actually being yourself or your work persona. You are ultimately unable to tell the difference.
You spend so much $$ at Victoria's Secret they upgraded your credit card twice in 3 months and send you rewards coupons every time you check the mail.
You have playlists categorized by appointment time and age of client.
If you're young, men your age have absolutely nothing to offer and even if they're hot you find them insufferably annoying. Actually, especially if they're hot.
Things that seem like a lot of money to other people are just a couple hours work to you.
You expect that any male you encounter at a shop, autobody etc can and should give you discounts and special treatment and you know exactly how to get it.
Things got really awkward the last time you had non-work sex and started putting the condom on the guy...and then froze and remembered that "normal" girls don't do that! :o
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When your at the spa and snigger at the word facial !
when you live in pjs on non escorting days
When you can get ready in under 15 mins
when your washing machine is on every day due to fresh towels and bedding!
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I didn't realise until this week that I'd started doing this...but when you look at girls on the bus (especially those with nice handbags!) and wonder if they are escorts too - well some of them must be!!!
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I didn't realise until this week that I'd started doing this...but when you look at girls on the bus (especially those with nice handbags!) and wonder if they are escorts too - well some of them must be!!!
Or girls bra shopping in Primark, or girls putting on make-up on the tube, or girls changing their shoes on a park bench.
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your mate is wondering why his girlfriend has 2 phones, never stays with him overnight, always pays in cash and is always away, she must be an escort !!!
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...You have way too many used envelopes.
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When smell of baby wipes makes you gag...
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You feel guity for resenting your postman when he calls whilst you've got a client in the room for the 3rd time in a typical week!
You also have trouble looking him in the eye :P
You use a cashpoint for the first time in years and it reminds you of your civvy days, dreading looking at the balance because you were always so poor!
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...You have way too many used envelopes.
Omg YES haha. I really need to chuck them away.
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When you have four stupidly luxurious bathrobes with
the hotel's insignia embazoned in gold on the lapels :-\
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I get the postman thing! Mines a right sleaze since he knows what I do. I opened the door to let a client out and there he was about to knock, I had lingerie on and client was like 80. So he now makes comments like oh so you're finally wearing clothes!
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I get the postman thing! Mines a right sleaze since he knows what I do. I opened the door to let a client out and there he was about to knock, I had lingerie on and client was like 80. So he now makes comments like oh so you're finally wearing clothes!
How rude!
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I get the postman thing! Mines a right sleaze since he knows what I do. I opened the door to let a client out and there he was about to knock, I had lingerie on and client was like 80. So he now makes comments like oh so you're finally wearing clothes!
How rude!
I know, luckily most of my online purchases are only books so they usually fit through the door!
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Most of mine fit through the door, I think he just rings it to amuse himself and see me red faced in my dressing gown and stockings! I don't really mind though, he's very sweet and we have a little chuckle. I'd give him a right mouthful if he ever acknowledged my job in such a rude way though. I'd give it to him good!
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You use a cashpoint for the first time in years and it reminds you of your civvy days, dreading looking at the balance because you were always so poor!
I love this! I realised the other day as I walked into the supermarket past people queuing to get cash, that I have not used a cashpoint since I started escorting!. I remember the days when I would try to get money out and be embarrassed when there were not enough funds or worse still when I would go to the bank teller on a Friday to get cash for the weekend and they would always have to ask 'are you expecting any more money into your account to cover this?' so humiliating.
I never want to go back to those days ;D
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You use a cashpoint for the first time in years and it reminds you of your civvy days, dreading looking at the balance because you were always so poor!
I love this! I realised the other day as I walked into the supermarket past people queuing to get cash, that I have not used a cashpoint since I started escorting!. I remember the days when I would try to get money out and be embarrassed when there were not enough funds or worse still when I would go to the bank teller on a Friday to get cash for the weekend and they would always have to ask 'are you expecting any more money into your account to cover this?' so humiliating.
I never want to go back to those days ;D
Snap! Honestly, it's been 6 years since I used a cashpoint. I guess we are all banking so regularly now, and have cash on us at all times. I can't believe I used to manage on such little money.
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You can ALMOST use your civvy phone to work because you have no friends so there's only like 10 contacts in it
You're picky about what you eat as it affects how you taste/perform/etc
You see the last week of the month as a blessing/curse
You've had your back teeth removed
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You've had your back teeth removed
???
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You've had your back teeth removed
???
I had one of my wisdom teeth removed two weeks ago - does that count?
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When your washing machine breaks and you have a melt down!
You panic when told you have to wait a week to get it fixed!
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When your Sim card stops working in your phone is a sudden panic trying to fix it. Then a sigh of relief after removing putting back in phew.
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When you pick up post from the post office but you can't open it to see what it is til you get home. Panties and hold ups in the mail today thankgod I didn't get impatient on the walk down.
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You get hit on by some guy in a wine bar and he's buying you drinks etc and you think to yourself ............. damnit, I'd rather you pay me for my time mate then date me!
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For me its walking into town and seeing client out and about looking at me or when your having a day off and your phones ringing and you think instead of relaxing i could be earning right now lol
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your in a store looking for new bargains and see dresses you know clients would like to see you in.
Not for nights out with your mates wearing !
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You're far too terrified to sell any of your old electronic devices (laptops, phones)just incase you don't delete your escort info accurately!
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you find yourself getting overly excited over extra towels :-\ :D
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Your trolley in the supermarket has two separate sections, one for home and one for the work flat, and oh how they get mixed up. Do I have milk at the flat? Or do I need bread at home? You can guarantee I will get it wrong.
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When Amazon "suggest" things that you might like based on previous buys.... and they are all escort related!!
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I am in London for a social gathering/gig. I am not working - haven't even shaved my legs, didn't even bring condoms. But, with my loyalty points I am staying at a particular hotel near to Euston Station that's very popular with escorts. I've worked here many times.
I checked in and went to my room - there was a maids cart right outside my door. The urge to filch some towels was SO STRONG. "Get some towels! Get extra pillow cases! You might need them!"
I had to talk myself down, "I am only here for one night. I am going to spend most of my time out on the town. I have NO NEED for extra towels and linens."
Feels so weird to walk past that thing without taking advantage!
:D
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You know you're an escort in the north when....
Instead of being tipped in cash, you are given a pie.
True story. It was a proper luxury pie, venison or similar, years ago when I did outcall only. Had to try and stuff it in my handbag for the journey home.
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When every new guy you meet when out you wouldn't touch but if he booked you'd be happy to....
💰💰💰💰💰💰💰
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When you pass a large block of flats and wonder how many girls work there or how discreet the flats are.
Xx
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When you have to fib to your friendly neighbour about who these male visitors are.
Spend more time on your work phone than on your personal one.
Have to wear cotton knickers inbetween appointments to avoid thrush.
Have a smorgasbord of beverages.
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when you only buy a pair of shoes to wear incall x
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Agree about the cotton knickers lol.
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when you only buy a pair of shoes to wear incall x
Just did this on Thursday, lol ;D
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I am in London for a social gathering/gig. I am not working - haven't even shaved my legs, didn't even bring condoms. But, with my loyalty points I am staying at a particular hotel near to Euston Station that's very popular with escorts. I've worked here many times.
I checked in and went to my room - there was a maids cart right outside my door. The urge to filch some towels was SO STRONG. "Get some towels! Get extra pillow cases! You might need them!"
I had to talk myself down, "I am only here for one night. I am going to spend most of my time out on the town. I have NO NEED for extra towels and linens."
Feels so weird to walk past that thing without taking advantage!
:D
omg this. Ive been stockpiling towels in that particular hotel this week. There's about seven stashed in my room. Housekeeping left the store room open yesterday, I had a field day ;D
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Your twitter feed is filled naked ladies but you're not gay ( I mean I am a bit gay lol but I'd imagine the rest of you who follow fellow working girlies )
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when you only buy a pair of shoes to wear incall x
Just did this on Thursday, lol ;D
Same I bought a pair of loubies that are primarily for work.
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Wow can relate to loads of these lol. I'd never thought about the fact I haven't been to a cash machine in absolute ages now! Ummm okay, what else hmmm.
...when you can clip on suspender belts to stockings in about 2 minutes.
...taking a pill break must be after a week of good profit.
...eye lashes and nails must be kept up.
...walk into hotels looking accumulate and walk out disheveled & happy.
...you can fuck most people regardless of looks as long as they respect your time and rate.
...you look back and wish you'd discovered it earlier.
...your pussy gets licked ALOT
...you know how to physically stop someone from doing something clearly not on your likes list without seeming traumatized.
...making up imaginary dates so you can offload to a friend about a client without telling the complete truth but then realizing you can't do that too much.
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.... you shower at least a minimum of 4 times in a day ( if business is good) ;D
....... when your water bill is higher than an average person because you use a lot of water in the shower, doing your laundry ;D
.......... you budget for condoms ;)
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You resent having sex with your partner on your day off and think I may as well have gone to work and got paid...
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When One realises that it's so easy to dump undesirable punters (with some little piece of sadness if someone was a regular) whilst relationships take literally years to get rid of (loads of deeper feelings involved - like it's a major operation). When there is no desire to have another LTR, which always starts with promises and goes through gradual declines over the years, like fruits which lost its freshness.
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You resent having sex with your partner on your day off and think I may as well have gone to work and got paid...
I hate it when this happens :-(
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When One realises that it's so easy to dump undesirable punters (with some little piece of sadness if someone was a regular) whilst relationships take literally years to get rid of (loads of deeper feelings involved - like it's a major operation). When there is no desire to have another LTR, which always starts with promises and goes through gradual declines over the years, like fruits which lost its freshness.
That's a good way to describe getting over a long term relationship (similar to recovering from a major operation) So the great thing about escorting is that you can just ask the client to leave if you don't like them anymore ;D
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Thank you, Katrina, for always being aware of someone's feelings. xx :D :-*
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you get a full box of tissues in your hotel room :D and when they leave bags of towels etc outside the door when your DND sign is on.
You get extra twitchy in the supermarket when a guy gives you sideways glances, thinking he could be a punter who you can't remember.
You see couples in the supermarket playing kinky sex games & wonder if they are client/escort or boyfriend/girlfriend.
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I get the postman thing! Mines a right sleaze since he knows what I do. I opened the door to let a client out and there he was about to knock, I had lingerie on and client was like 80. So he now makes comments like oh so you're finally wearing clothes!
Omg reminds me once I had client call for house number, gave it to him and stood ready to open the front door when there was a knock and I opened it, to my horror it was the postman lol
Luckily I always try and stand behind the door as I open it and just poke my head round so I don't think he got too much of an eye full although that scare alone made me wear more clothing in future for opening the door! Bad timing though or what?!
Thank goodness I've moved now otherwise I don't think I'd be able to look him in the face again!
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You start to look at random guys and wonder if they pay for sex. Anyone else do this?
I am constantly doing it, whether I'm in Waitrose or in the Doctors I'll look at guys and think if they are a punter or not and what kind of things they like. For example I think [removed - we don't out punters here] has visited a few and is the type of punter who likes things up his bum and likes to be dominated. It's so strange lol! A fun game to play when you're bored waiting though haha.
Also, when a guy stares at you for too long or is giving you a strange look you start to get paranoid wondering if he knows you're on AW! I do this constantly after one guy saw me in Selfridges started talking to me asking how my day was and I didn't think nothing of it til I got home to an email saying "Hi I saw you today in Selfridges it was me who asked you how your day was sorry if I scared you" I was slightly creeped out!
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If anybody add her face photos on AW, you may find that random people might / may recognise you in public places sooner or later, even closer to home. Face photos are a great selling point. Like anything else, it has downs, mainly in the social arena. You get outed and you are not exactly a celebrity / MP or something else. You get outed as a prostitute. There is a difference.
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When you are so bored of having sex that you can't imagine having the energy to seek casual flings any more - what's the point of having mediocre sex for free when you can get paid for it?
(I am aware this isn't the case for everyone, re libido, but it certainly has been for me - and I was insatiable before I started escorting. A few months of spending every day catering to Authentic Pleasure Man has killed my sex drive)
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You resent having sex with your partner on your day off and think I may as well have gone to work and got paid...
With one partner I had I resented it whether it was a work day or not, and when that happens you know the relationship is definitely over.
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You start to look at random guys and wonder if they pay for sex. Anyone else do this?
I do it all the time unless I am pre-occupied with something else. I would have thought it is normal in this line of work.
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I do it all the time unless I am pre-occupied with something else. I would have thought it is normal in this line of work.
Can't say I've done it with random people. Have certainly wondered about a few folks I know, though.
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With one partner I had I resented it whether it was a work day or not, and when that happens you know the relationship is definitely over.
You might well be So right.
Yup..yup..I hate to say this but who has a "healthy" relationship (a textbook "model" case) these days when instant gratification is more important than self-sacrifice? LTR has its own sell-by date. Some LTR had gone way past its S-BD ages ago but you stay because you "love" him (like an old blanket with little holes and bits of tears in that you got so used to and would feel bad about discarding..lol) whilst you are not in love.... Some of these wg + males could well be "co-dependent" in some ways whilst some may not be (built on a solid foundation whilst it is "unorthodox"). It's hard to tell. After a while, it's well possible to lose sexual "freshness" with your old partner / hubby no matter what you try no matter how hard you try. Nothing beats new love but it may not last - whilst LTR, your deeper emotions get involved along with a long history of being together whilst sex side has gone" comatose" since ages ago.. Escorting is less complicated.
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Some of these wg + males could well be "co-dependent" in some ways whilst some may not be (built on a solid foundation whilst it is "unorthodox"). It's hard to tell. After a while, it's well possible to lose sexual "freshness" with your old partner / hubby no matter what you try no matter how hard you try.
Incidentally, while me & my SO have great chemistry WHEN we actually get around to it, due to medical issues he has interest in sex maybe once a month if that. Has been the case since we got together, and I have a sneaking suspicion that the reason he doesn't mind my job ties into that.
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Good to hear it, Lynx. A man with no inflated ego. 8)
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When you are so bored of having sex that you can't imagine having the energy to seek casual flings any more - what's the point of having mediocre sex for free when you can get paid for it?
(I am aware this isn't the case for everyone, re libido, but it certainly has been for me - and I was insatiable before I started escorting. A few months of spending every day catering to Authentic Pleasure Man has killed my sex drive)
This + 1.i was always horny before doing this. Now I really have no sex drive at all. I think that would be the case for most people who make their hobby their job. Once it's work it loses the appeal!! Lol
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When you are so bored of having sex that you can't imagine having the energy to seek casual flings any more - what's the point of having mediocre sex for free when you can get paid for it?
(I am aware this isn't the case for everyone, re libido, but it certainly has been for me - and I was insatiable before I started escorting. A few months of spending every day catering to Authentic Pleasure Man has killed my sex drive)
This + 1.i was always horny before doing this. Now I really have no sex drive at all. I think that would be the case for most people who make their hobby their job. Once it's work it loses the appeal!! Lol
lol exactly! For me it goes as far as actually getting annoyed when fuckbuddies text me for a hookup. I have such a strong urge to surround myself with male friends who care about me propery, and platonically, rather than just looking for a shag. There's NOTHING wrong with that, and I certainly enjoyed that arrangement before, but I just can't be arsed to give it away for free now. It would have to be pretty fucking special, and lets face it, it usually isn't!
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When you have a week off that you've been looking forward to after being flat out for ages, but you find yourself thinking TIME IS MONEY and trying to solicit bookings
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When you are so bored of having sex that you can't imagine having the energy to seek casual flings any more - what's the point of having mediocre sex for free when you can get paid for it?
(I am aware this isn't the case for everyone, re libido, but it certainly has been for me - and I was insatiable before I started escorting. A few months of spending every day catering to Authentic Pleasure Man has killed my sex drive)
This + 1.i was always horny before doing this. Now I really have no sex drive at all. I think that would be the case for most people who make their hobby their job. Once it's work it loses the appeal!! Lol
lol exactly! For me it goes as far as actually getting annoyed when fuckbuddies text me for a hookup. I have such a strong urge to surround myself with male friends who care about me propery, and platonically, rather than just looking for a shag. There's NOTHING wrong with that, and I certainly enjoyed that arrangement before, but I just can't be arsed to give it away for free now. It would have to be pretty fucking special, and lets face it, it usually isn't!
Yeah, my fuck buddies have all become my platonic friends/therapists who listen to me rant! Lol!
And agree also with the not being able to just be off without thinking of the money you could/should be earning! If I have a week with no booking pencilled in it makes me feel panicky instead of happy!
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When you are so bored of having sex that you can't imagine having the energy to seek casual flings any more - what's the point of having mediocre sex for free when you can get paid for it?
(I am aware this isn't the case for everyone, re libido, but it certainly has been for me - and I was insatiable before I started escorting. A few months of spending every day catering to Authentic Pleasure Man has killed my sex drive)
This + 1.i was always horny before doing this. Now I really have no sex drive at all. I think that would be the case for most people who make their hobby their job. Once it's work it loses the appeal!! Lol
I still enjoy recreational sex, as I like to be selfish on occasion. But I once had an online flirtation with a guy in Denmark. We were going to meet when he was in London. But as the date came closer I got more and more annoyed with his emails about all the things we were going to do. Very prescriptive stuff from our first kiss to how we were going to do oral. When he asked me about the lingerie I would be wearing I realised that this was all just one big bussman's holiday and I called it off.
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When you constantly use male deodorant xx
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As someone else said on here, looking at almost every man you pass in the street and think yes he could be a man who sees escorts. Almost equally though I have looked at attractive ladies while shopping or anywhere really and thought yes she could be an escort!
No man "looks" the part and neither do women. I know I do not. No one would ever guess what I get up to by my appearance and I guess that applies to a lot of escorts too so guessing who may be or may not be is just pointless but I can't help doing it. Work is on my mind for most of each day whether or not I am engaged it and I wish it wasn't :-\
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If anybody add her face photos on AW, you may find that random people might / may recognise you in public places sooner or later, even closer to home. Face photos are a great selling point. Like anything else, it has downs, mainly in the social arena. You get outed and you are not exactly a celebrity / MP or something else. You get outed as a prostitute. There is a difference.
Luckily for me - no face pic - but...
When someone prints out your entire AW profile, including all the reviews, and passes it around your local pub for everyone to read
I am single so TFFT and I don't give a damn what's said but I own my house in a very small village. I don't recommend the above :D
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Yikes.. It may be wise not to have any field report. Punters do also discuss escorts locations online. If you are in a close knit community..it's risky. :(.
I know I am an escort when I don't get mad over things easily as we are desensitized by bad behavior in non-genuine idiots (TW, address collectors) / some annoying or indiscreet genuine punters alike.
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When you get a withheld number call early in the morning on personal phone, off someone who sounds familiar but haven't got a clue who it could be and he just says in a creepy voice "(my real name) I've seen photos of your vagina" ??? :o
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When you get a withheld number call early in the morning on personal phone, off someone who sounds familiar but haven't got a clue who it could be and he just says in a creepy voice "(my real name) I've seen photos of your vagina" ??? :o
oh my god that's terrifying!!!
on a sort-of similar note... when you're forever convincing yourself you've been outed or that everyone knows what you're up to. Get a phone call from a sibling you rarely hear from? They've heard you're a hooker and their ringing to quiz you. An old friend adds you on facebook and starts asking you what you do for a living? They've had a tip off. Taking your small, wheely suitcase to work? EVERYONE ON THE TUBE MUST KNOW IT'S FULL OF SEX STUFF AND THAT YOU'RE A BIG WHORE ;D
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I often see a pretty girl working her arse off on a Saturday afternoon and think to myself, "what are you doing busting your ass for minimum wage here, you could make a fortune with that face and body..."
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This thread is cracking me up...
Realising everyone is using bank cards yet I still use and prefer cash money
When walking down street to where worked in central London and looking at males as potential clients
and spotting time wasters a mile off
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I still date and maybe as a positive, escorting has made me more ruthless and set my standards. I find myself on dates or in the getting to know someone stages and think, "would I put up with this at work?". The truth is, I meet nicer people doing this than I do going on dates.
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I still date and maybe as a positive, escorting has made me more ruthless and set my standards. I find myself on dates or in the getting to know someone stages and think, "would I put up with this at work?". The truth is, I meet nicer people doing this than I do going on dates.
Couldn't have said it better myself ;D
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I still date and maybe as a positive, escorting has made me more ruthless and set my standards. I find myself on dates or in the getting to know someone stages and think, "would I put up with this at work?". The truth is, I meet nicer people doing this than I do going on dates.
Couldn't have said it better myself ;D
It's funny, this has given me a sense of worth and control I wasn't aware I had. I'm still going to date but I'm not stopping this either. Genuinely happy with my choices and if I do this a lot longer and stay single, I can live with that. X
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The truth is, I meet nicer people doing this than I do going on dates.
Amen. Just started trying to date again and in a word: ugh. Escorting raised my standards so much. Which is funny, because I think most people would think the opposite would be true.
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The truth is, I meet nicer people doing this than I do going on dates.
Amen. Just started trying to date again and in a word: ugh. Escorting raised my standards so much. Which is funny, because I think most people would think the opposite would be true.
Absolutely. With the exception of one or two, I really like the people I get to meet and our experiences. I think for me, dating is full of ulterior motives. Escorting is a straightforward transaction (mostly) and if you're lucky, there's a a spark and whether it's little or not, you know where you stand. I've little time for games, I'd love to meet someone who was as blunt as me but still capable of a living relationship. Failing that, I'm getting a dog.
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Do you tell them that you are escorting? You know you are an escort when your date might not entertain the idea or simply they are shocked if you tell them the truth? :-X
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I'm still trying it out to see what the general reactions are. Some guys I've told before the date, some I told after and some I never told at all. I reckon it makes very little difference because they all turn out to be rubbish with or without knowing I'm an escort.
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I'm sorry to hear that xx
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When socialising with male friends or family you start to realise that the conversation is all about them and I'm giving them my 100% attention, saying sorry if I need to use the loo etc, and dashing back to be ultra attentive to them. Being the perfect host and then afterwards feeling drained that it hasn't been a 2 way thing and nothing that I wanted to talk about got a look in because I haven't stepped out of 'escort mode' !!
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Do you tell them that you are escorting? You know you are an escort when your date might not entertain the idea or simply they are shocked if you tell them the truth? :-X
I have in the past and it's not got me very far. I figure now, if anyone gets past a first date then I'll possibly tell them. Truth is, I'd give all this up for the right person but the standard is high! X
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When socialising with male friends or family you start to realise that the conversation is all about them and I'm giving them my 100% attention, saying sorry if I need to use the loo etc, and dashing back to be ultra attentive to them. Being the perfect host and then afterwards feeling drained that it hasn't been a 2 way thing and nothing that I wanted to talk about got a look in because I haven't stepped out of 'escort mode' !!
I get this, you go into people pleasing mode and at the end you wonder why! X
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the towel cupboard in the hotel is unlocked & I walk past feeling smug about it.
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On Coronation Street just now in the salon they had a line about blow dry's and I instantly substituted blow jobs ;D
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When you arrive at your civvy job on the Monday and someone says "Good weekend?" and you have to stop yourself replying "Very profitable thanks!"
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On Coronation Street just now in the salon they had a line about blow dry's and I instantly substituted blow jobs ;D
Me too! I'm sure the scriptwriters were thinking that too!
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Ladyofthemanor so did i lol xx
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When you constantly use male deodorant xx
+1 :D
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+1 :D
Hahaha yes!
I actually prefer make deodorant now aswell!
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On Coronation Street just now in the salon they had a line about blow dry's and I instantly substituted blow jobs ;D
Lol! I watched that episode and had the exact same thought and laughed to myself!
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Paying for items you calculate the cost according to how many clients "?60 dress = one client for 45 mins)
When you go home from a working day with just ?250 you think it's been a rubbish day until you bring yourself back to reality and remember that ?250 is your average joe on minimum wage's 40 hour week wages!
When working you love it when a guy has a small cock and doesn't cums in seconds!
As your paying at the check out for your condoms, mouthwash, lube, baby wipes and lube you wonder to yourself if the cashier knows ur a WG
You automatically shower immediately after sex (in your personal life)
You no longer give oral without using a flavoured lube
If someone in your personal life gets a bit daring in the bedroom and suggests anal you have to keep yourself from saying you will do it but as an extra!
You judge men on their hygiene and manners above anything else
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Paying for items you calculate the cost according to how many clients "?60 dress = one client for 45 mins)
Definitelty! Ive just moved into a house so now its
Washing maching - 3 x 1hr clients
Work bed - 1 hr client and a bj
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When you can get out of a pair of jeans and into stockings, suspenders and heels in the seat of your car in about 30 seconds flat (and back into 'normal' clothes even quicker!
Oh and when your car is like a second home with all the shoes, spare clothes, nickers, hold ups, make up bag, jacket and coat (for all weathers) bottles of water, mints, secret (emergency) stash of condoms, wipes tissues....etc etc, All that's missing is the kitchen sink :D
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When slobbing out in your pjs feels like heaven ;D
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When you can get out of a pair of jeans and into stockings, suspenders and heels in the seat of your car in about 30 seconds flat (and back into 'normal' clothes even quicker!
I had to do this quick change the other week in somewhere I thought was secluded and when I looked up, some older woman was standing near the car looking at me with her head cocked to one side. I just gave her a smile and a little wave and drove off quick.
;D
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Showering 4 times a day while keeping your hair and eye makeup dry.
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Showering 4 times a day while keeping your hair and eye makeup dry.
+1
And I wear a sew-in weaves as well the struggle. :D :D
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+1
And I wear a sew-in weaves as well the struggle. :D :D
Ohh I am so glad I do no have to contend with weave maintenance! Bright hair dye was enough for me. Not even considering it now I'm working.
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When you buy bulk orders of condoms:
https://s5.postimg.org/vq7b27wnb/image.jpg
Strawberry, mint, bubblegum flavours. Has to be done!
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Immediately gauging by touch or sight whether I'll need trim, regular or king sized condoms.
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When you buy bulk orders of condoms:
https://s5.postimg.io/rote0n2f9/image.jpg
Strawberry, mint, bubblegum flavours. Has to be done!
Wow, I love your stash! :o
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When you query that the flat you're working in belongs to a fellow escort. Men's toiletries, snacks, wine & bubbly & 2 boxes of Kleenex, lots of storage & throw for the bed lol are a big clue.
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When you are reading saafe between clients ;)
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When you resent paying full whack for a pack of condoms at a chemist ::) (yes for the first time in 4 years I ran out and needed them to tide me over till I could order in bulk)
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When you go to Ann Summers at 11am on a weekday, and the lady working there gives you a knowing wink ;) and tries to sell you everything in the shop
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You have reached ninja level at clock watching.
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I have almost given up eating garlic altogether! I love it and it is such a rare treat these days.
When treating yourself means having garlic bread on your day off :)
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- You have a favourite brand of baby wipes, but no baby
- On your day off you wear the biggest knickers you own!
- Taking a holiday meant that no makeup goes on, and no body hair comes off.
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Immediately gauging by touch or sight whether I'll need trim, regular or king sized condoms.
That irritating feeling when its an inbetweener and you can't fully decide whether regular will be just slightly too big or trim will be far too tight...
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That irritating feeling when its an inbetweener and you can't fully decide whether regular will be just slightly too big or trim will be far too tight...
Skins are great for these - a little bit smaller than standard Mates or Pasante etc.!
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- You have a favourite brand of baby wipes, but no baby
- On your day off you wear the biggest knickers you own!
- Taking a holiday meant that no makeup goes on, and no body hair comes off.
Haa this is defo me!
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I was speaking to my girl about pop stars and meant to say Nicki Minji and said menage a trois by mistake opps
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I was speaking to my girl about pop stars and meant to say Nicki Minji and said menage a trois by mistake opps
Mum: I was going to get you some of that nice minge perfume for your....
Me: You were going to get me what?!
Mum: That singer, Nicki minge...
Me: no mum, just no. And it's Minaj, minge is very different. ::)
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Mum: I was going to get you some of that nice minge perfume for your....
Me: You were going to get me what?!
Mum: That singer, Nicki minge...
Me: no mum, just no. And it's Minaj, minge is very different. ::)
thats exactly what i call her deliberately ;D ;D
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Skins are great for these - a little bit smaller than standard Mates or Pasante etc.!
Brilliant! Thanks for that I'll look into getting some for the middle of the road men... :)
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You are debating if depositing ?500 is worth driving to the bank or if you will wait until it's ?1000 as that is a 'decent amount' that I can justify putting myself out for, this was me the other day and my perception of money is terrible when it comes to what is a big amount.
You gauge how well your week has gone based on how fast your condom stash decreases.
Dry shampoo has become your one true love.
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thats exactly what i call her deliberately ;D ;D
Snap ;D
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You have reached ninja level at clock watching.
When you use that nonchalant hair flick move to catch a glimpse of the clock!
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When you use that nonchalant hair flick move to catch a glimpse of the clock!
Or you use a watch that has a display which lights up on gesture, and you get adept at putting your arms behind his head and tilting your wrist ;)
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Sorry to sound possibly crude but when you get a successful overnight booking with a new client who is happy to pay your full overnight rate, I'll admit that I get "very" turned on after he gives me that amount of money.
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When you go to the nurse for your regular injection which is given in the butt cheek, and she says "Just pop your jeans down" and you immediately turn your back to her, stick your bum out, and slowly and sexily peel your skinny jeans off.
The worst thing was, it wasn't til I was out of the door that I realised what I'd done and why she was giving me a slightly perplexed look :-[
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When you go to the nurse for your regular injection which is given in the butt cheek, and she says "Just pop your jeans down" and you immediately turn your back to her, stick your bum out, and slowly and sexily peel your skinny jeans off.
The worst thing was, it wasn't til I was out of the door that I realised what I'd done and why she was giving me a slightly perplexed look :-[
Lol I've done similar. Maybe a year ago when I went for routine STD health check up there was this sexy doctor guy (surprisingly!) when he told me to hop onto that bed to drop my jeans I immediately thought of being naughty, a second later I realised and turned off that mindset, I'm there thinking don't be stupid...wrong situation and all.
He was nice though, I'd have happily accommodated him its not like he had a shortage of condoms on his desk.
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Watching first dates on 40d like..... I SWEAR i've seen that man as a client.
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When copulating rigorously with a client and then he says how his wife was never this tight and good in bed even when they were dating 37 years ago.
What a compliment to say! lol ;D
I get told lots of times how good I am but that made me giggle if only his wife would have heard him say it haha :o ;D
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When a family member ask why you don't tan and you struggle to give an answer that doesn't include 'my unique selling point'.
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When someone ( family) knocks on the door and you can close every tab on 3 devices and clear browsing history etc in ten seconds while doing a 'Mum' voice
"one second I'm just coming " and you still have time to think ' lord that sounds dodgy' then you open the door having had a complete personality transplant in between !
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When someone ( family) knocks on the door and you can close every tab on 3 devices and clear browsing history etc in ten seconds while doing a 'Mum' voice
"one second I'm just coming " and you still have time to think ' lord that sounds dodgy' then you open the door having had a complete personality transplant in between !
haha love it!
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haha love it!
Talk about bloody multi tasking , I'm sitting here right now waiting on my buzzer in a long chiffon pleated skirt, bullet bran and a navy silk pussy bow blouse , straight out of th 1940's ten secs ago I was in the paper shop in flat boots leggings , long vest and v neck with a barbour coat, like I'd come straight off a farm lol !
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Bullet bra can't breath
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Being 25 when you can pull off an orgasm whilst copulating with a client in his 70s (as I was thinking of Tom Hardy).
Before I was 18 I'd have been so sickened at the thought.
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I was visiting a client at his house today. I took a taxi to get there. A learner car had pulled up in front of my taxi. As I got out I walked past this learner car (after the learner driver had got out) when I noticed the instructor lady put a "sterling" note into her purse. I thought to myself, OMG so little money earned for that hour, as if you might as well be working at McDonald's :-[ :-[
I immediately thought to myself I'm about to earn myself over ?100 for basically 5-30 minutes or possibly hard work, for the hour (typically speaking that is).
It was just the way she put that note into her purse as if she was struggling. I felt so sorry for her :-[
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On my bed make up on in my PJ enjoying my lunch while reading the hardsports thread :FF
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When you see an undesirable looking man walking down the street & you have a "someone walked over your grave" flinching session thinking he could be calling tomorrow. :(
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When you give a OWO blowjob to a non-client and right after he has cum he says - "OMG that was by far the best blowjob I've ever had"
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Your weekly wash consists of just underwear and pyjamas ;D
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Your weekly wash consists of just underwear and pyjamas ;D
Not for me, lol, more like towels towels and more towels!
After using lube because you're just too sore (or for whatever reason?)
- when you've just finished a round of sex with a client and then you walk around either the kitchen or bathroom, with the tops of your inner thighs feeling like you've just had bareback sex with a boyfriend without wiping yourself, makes you check your memory - yes he was using a condom.
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When you have a display cabinet of butt plugs and strap on's in your 'spare room' and a flogger and wrist ties hanging on hooks from above the bed!
Male lodger recently told his new boyfriend what I do. Boyfriend "Well I did think so what with the spare room having more sex toys in it than Ann Summers!"
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When you get really lovely gents who are single with lots of money and a good job, and during sex he comes out with it of how he'd genuinely love to marry you and things.
Really screws with your normality.
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When you get really lovely gents who are single with lots of money and a good job, and during sex he comes out with it of how he'd genuinely love to marry you and things.
Really screws with your normality.
Yep it occurs all the time ! But to be honest most don't believe it and also know it's their cocks talking and they don't really want a hooker for a girlfriend !!! Although this seems to happen to you regularly so good for you , best you don't mention , the shagging in bar toilets and condoms splitting !
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I know I'm an escort when.....I take everything with a pinch of salt ....including the bullshit, plus I'm glad I don't have to work my butt off to make them cum lol lol lol ...sometimes but rarely , advice from newbies ( complete) irritates me (sorry in advance ) not helpful advice just the 'show off ' sounding stuff but hey ho takes all sorts !!!!
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When you get really lovely gents who are single with lots of money and a good job, and during sex he comes out with it of how he'd genuinely love to marry you and things.
Really screws with your normality.
That's his 'little brain' talking. Ignore it it's BS.
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Yep thanks MH perhaps it takes a little experience to recognise lol
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Yep thanks MH perhaps it takes a little experience to recognise lol
Half of them can't put a sentence together after they've cum must be the brains changing over then most (not my lovely regs) just want to clean up get dressed and sheepishly go. It always makes me smile.
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Yep thanks MH perhaps it takes a little experience to recognise lol
Yep, been there done that, had lots of marriage proposals from rich men who want me to quit escorting and be their wife.
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in the middle of formulating monthly in-comings & realise I'm still wearing PVC knickers under my robe!
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Yep, been there done that, had lots of marriage proposals from rich men who want me to quit escorting and be their wife.
What they tend to 'forget' is if we did suddenly decide to marry them then all these fab blow jobs etc etc would stop & No they wouldn't be able to have sex with us whenever they wanted!! Well it depends how much they were offering....
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Every time you hear the word 'blow-dry' in any kind of hairdressing conversation you automatically substitute....blow job!
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Every time you hear the word 'blow-dry' in any kind of hairdressing conversation you automatically substitute....blow job!
Yep I have a friend who's initials are B.J !
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When you hear a civvy mate proudly declaiming "I know my man would NEVER cheat on me" and you accidentally let out a derisive snort :-[
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When you hear a civvy mate proudly declaiming "I know my man would NEVER cheat on me" and you accidentally let out a derisive snort :-[
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
+100
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I really want a like button for posts lol , plus it would be helpful for advice that lots of us agree on/with
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I was speaking to my girl about pop stars and meant to say Nicki Minji and said menage a trois by mistake opps
I often say "nicki minge" by mistake lol
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You sign your emails off by your work name :o
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;D
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You sign your emails off by your work name :o
Slight panic the other night when I had sealed a card to my neice...Had to think omg I hope I didn't sign it "Love from Aunty Kat" wtf!! lol
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Watching first dates on 40d like..... I SWEAR i've seen that man as a client.
I have seen 4 Of my subs on Come Dine With Me.
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When your boiler breaks down and all you can think about is getting it fixed without missing too many bookings.
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You respond to your work name out of work.
I did an evening class last term and there was a woman with my work name, every time she was addressed I looked up. Worst was when the tutor took the register and the first week I half said yes and had to cover it with a cough. Several other weeks I nearly responded too!
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When you count the cash in your purse and think "It's only 300 quid, is it worth going to the bank for just this?"
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You clean the bed head while sitting on someone's face making "Oooh" noises ( about the dust) lol
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When you see Taboo trending on Twitter and assume it must be sex work related!!! Before realising how dumb when has that ever happened...
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When you decide you're gonna take a day off tomorrow and immediately plan a dinner involving copious amounts of garlic.
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When you decide you're gonna take a day off tomorrow and immediately plan a dinner involving copious amounts of garlic.
Oh that's so me , I love it and avoid , everything I really like is garlic or spicy.
I love smoked Salmon too and do eat quite a bit sometimes but am v aware it's a v fishy affair lol !
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When you decide you're gonna take a day off tomorrow and immediately plan a dinner involving copious amounts of garlic.
I do that anyway when I'm working the next day...Most cients don't avoid garlic when planning to see me so unless I was charging an exceptionally high fee to be exclusive, I just do as they do :-)))
(Not a single client has ever commented or complained...;-)
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You start to wonder what certain men like in the bedroom! I do this all the time I'll be out shopping or watching a show and I'll think "He probably likes a finger up the ass, and DFK" I can't help it!! Haha.
Also when someone looks at you a little too long and you start to wonder have they booked you or have the viewed your profile!
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When you decide you're gonna take a day off tomorrow and immediately plan a dinner involving copious amounts of garlic.
OMG yes hahaha!
I absolutely love garlic and also fried onions, some of the worst things to eat before annoying lol x
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Same as Kat, I just eat my garlic and onions, can't be bothered to give a damn. ;D
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I don't usually worry too much about garlic - I just stay away from foods which make me fart a lot as that makes me really self-conscious.
However in this case the recipe involved a half head of whole garlic cloves :D
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When you are nice to a pensioner with a semi for 2 hours because you have bills to pay.
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When you spend more on your adult working clothes than you do your socialising clothing....
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I just realized that when I see monogrammed things, the kind with just one letter, my eyes go right to the first letter of my work name. So funny ;D
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You get asked if you want to get a Debenhams card by the lady who's always on the counter near the lingerie and stockings area :)
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You get asked if you want to get a Debenhams card by the lady who's always on the counter near the lingerie and stockings area :)
You get asked in Ann Summers why you want 2 vibrators exactly the same...You say oh yes they're for nipples and she looks puzzled ;D
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;D
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When you begin to cost shopping for furniture in the number of bookings it will take to pay and look at your carpet and give a heavy sigh.
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When you begin to cost shopping for furniture in the number of bookings it will take to pay and look at your carpet and give a heavy sigh.
Ha ha yep !
I often think how long it used to make sure my seams were straight in my stockings , because I barely look now I can 'feel' the seam and they're straight on !
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You clean the bed head while sitting on someone's face making "Oooh" noises ( about the dust) lol
And you tell them you would just LOVE to ride them: less mess with her and for fucks sake they can't lick your face this way!
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When you name things in a certain way:
Fuck room
Fuck bed
Fuck sheets
Fuck shoes
Fuck dress
...
Recently on the phone with a regular: "nope, not home now, need to buy some fuck stuff..."
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When a rather under-endowed client grabs a condom at random off the nightstand, and it's an XL... and you very quickly say "Oh let's use one of these non latex ones, it's a better sensation!"
Phew, quick thinking ;)
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When you name things in a certain way:
Fuck room
Fuck bed
Fuck sheets
Fuck shoes
Fuck dress
...
Recently on the phone with a regular: "nope, not home now, need to buy some fuck stuff..."
ha ha ;)
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When a rather under-endowed client grabs a condom at random off the nightstand, and it's an XL... and you very quickly say "Oh let's use one of these non latex ones, it's a better sensation!"
Phew, quick thinking ;)
Great! I'll have to use that one!
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When you're out shopping and pass the aisle where they have clocks, and double-back just to have a look at the different clocks, pondering whether certain clock faces are visible enough to see from a distance... without making it obvious to the client.
When you have a mate come round for a coffee, she says she'll stay for an hour, when she arrives she doesn't have the booking fee - oh yeah she's not a client!
When you're out at the shops in the baby aisle buying baby wipes, baby oil, nappy sacks etc and mum's start chatting to you randomly about everything baby related... and of course (even though you have no baby) you have to join in the conversation, It'd be rude not to! :D
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You start getting your friends to 'confirm' nights out etc at a certain time just like you do with clients.
Then get annoyed when they text late or you have to remind them!
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When you consider taking a tenner less for a foot job because you're in need of a foot massage & haven't seen the reflexologist for a while.
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When your civvy ex-colleague starts talking about the company's "Continuous Improvement Model" but keeps abbreviating it to "CIM".... :o
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When your civvy ex-colleague starts talking about the company's "Continuous Improvement Model" but keeps abbreviating it to "CIM".... :o
;D I had a client once who was a "continuous improvement manager" it amused me at the time, never heard of it.
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Went for a haircut yesterday. The hairdresser is a lovely young woman, must be like 20-21yo.
So I'm sitting there, she's busy chopping my hair off. She is all very happy and excited and she says "I'm going out tonight to celebrate, this morning I finally had my braces taken off!"
And I just reply without thinking and really loud "oh good for you now you can go back to giving blow jobs!!!!"
Dead silence around...
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You know you're an escort when:
- you pay for everything in cash,
- you have more than one phone,
- you have more than one name,
- you react each time one of these names is spoken,
- you are always afraid that others will discover your true activity,
- you find that the sex scenes in the movies are annoying,
- you wonder if the men you meet in the street would make good customers,
- you are always skeptical about the issue of fidelity in a couple...
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Went for a haircut yesterday. The hairdresser is a lovely young woman, must be like 20-21yo.
So I'm sitting there, she's busy chopping my hair off. She is all very happy and excited and she says "I'm going out tonight to celebrate, this morning I finally had my braces taken off!"
And I just reply without thinking and really loud "oh good for you now you can go back to giving blow jobs!!!!"
Dead silence around...
HAHAHAHAHA! OMG that's exactly the kind of thing I'd say! :D :D :D
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You know you're an escort when:
- you pay for everything in cash,
- you have more than one phone,
- you have more than one name,
- you react each time one of these names is spoken,
- you are always afraid that others will discover your true activity,
- you find that the sex scenes in the movies are annoying,
- you wonder if the men you meet in the street would make good customers,
- you are always skeptical about the issue of fidelity in a couple...
:) :) :)
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When your civvy ex-colleague starts talking about the company's "Continuous Improvement Model" but keeps abbreviating it to "CIM".... :o
Ha ha I have a civvie friend who mails/ calls and his initials come up on my phone as SBJ and all I think of is sloppy blow job !
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Ha ha I have a civvie friend who mails/ calls and his initials come up on my phone as SBJ and all I think of is sloppy blow job !
;D ;D ;D
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.... When your best friend is talking about how her boyfriend and her are wanting to try anal. And you give her tons of tips, procedure on how to get started, where to buy butt plugs and the best numbing lube for beginning, and which brand of toys are the best. Then you have to justify your knowledge by reminding her that you and your ex boyfriend use to do it all the time. And I think you can apply this to any sort of sexual information passed on to non-working friends. Hahahaha!!
I love this thread ladies.
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When you name things in a certain way:
Fuck room
Fuck bed
Fuck sheets
Fuck shoes
Fuck dress
...
Recently on the phone with a regular: "nope, not home now, need to buy some fuck stuff..."
LOL!! I have a "fuck list" on my music playlist.
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LOL!! I have a "fuck list" on my music playlist.
I bet you also have a "fuck phone" :)
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When you are getting ready to go out with friends .. ( girls night out ) and your bathed shaved makeup on in less than 5 mins .. when it's suppose to be an take it slow getting ready !
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When you are getting ready to go out with friends .. ( girls night out ) and your bathed shaved makeup on in less than 5 mins .. when it's suppose to be an take it slow getting ready !
Day off and all you can think is yayyyy no shaving today!!!!
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When a civvie friend complains "i didnt have sex in over 2 weeks" and you just think "ohh i am jelaous. I wish i had this "problem" ;D
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the first time my horse riding civvie friend mentioned riding bareback casually in conversation. She asked me why I looked shocked for a moment. couldn't explain why lol. Used to her saying it now thankfully.
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What a great thread! I haven't stopped LOLING
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Yesterday I nipped into town to get some groceries and my phone rang as I was on my way, so I accepted a booking for 45 mins time, thinking that would give me plenty to get my shopping and get back. However there was a load of traffic that I hadn't expected and I found myself shouting at a dithery driver:
"Bitch needs to move, I've got dick to suck!"
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Yesterday I nipped into town to get some groceries and my phone rang as I was on my way, so I accepted a booking for 45 mins time, thinking that would give me plenty to get my shopping and get back. However there was a load of traffic that I hadn't expected and I found myself shouting at a dithery driver:
"Bitch needs to move, I've got dick to suck!"
;D thats frickin hilarious ;D
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When I find myself preoccupied with some thoughts about certain repeat, tricky punters, who always get too rough, overstay without the correct fees, or being indiscreet, discuss my location with his boozing mates, give orders rather than asking, get too over friendly, get too cosy etc and how to get rid of them nicely without causing mayhem. How sad, I sometimes makes me wonder it would be easier to just quit. ::) Some regulars are perfectly nice, and others do ANNOY me. :-\
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Wow! The perfect read material for a lonely night at 2am!!!
So many things sound familiar to me... ;D ;)
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...when a gorgeous guy attempts to chat you up and you yawn in his face ;)
Hahaa perfect!
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Wow! The perfect read material for a lonely night at 2am!!!
So many things sound familiar to me... ;D ;)
Ohh..poor you. xx Yes, this site is really amazing. ;D
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I would only accept a large cock now for a boyfriend as I have had so many extra large appendages I guess I have grown quite spoilt. They are by far the best lol.
It has made my expectations in men really high. I have gone very selective and fussy!
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I would only accept a large cock now for a boyfriend as I have had so many extra large appendages I guess I have grown quite spoilt. They are by far the best lol.
It has made my expectations in men really high. I have gone very selective and fussy!
Funny, I've gone the other way. My last LTR and my husband were both bigger than average but I am sick of big cocks now and my boyfriend is the perfect, average size.
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Similar...very similar....I'd love a BF who does not need/want any sex or he does not have any sex drive and he's happy with it. Please, no cock to serve or service for me in my personal life. Give me a cerebral man if such a wonderful man might JUST exist? ;D
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Similar...very similar....I'd love a BF who does not need/want any sex or he does not have any sex drive and he's happy with it. Please, no cock to serve or service for me in my personal life. Give me a cerebral man if such a wonderful man might JUST exist? ;D
Just what I want sweet milf ideally good company, a sense of humour, generous but no sex drive except for an occasional BJ on his birthday or Christmas. lol
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Similar...very similar....I'd love a BF who does not need/want any sex or he does not have any sex drive and he's happy with it. Please, no cock to serve or service for me in my personal life. Give me a cerebral man if such a wonderful man might JUST exist? ;D
Try a dating site for asexuals.
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Just what I want sweet milf ideally good company, a sense of humour, generous but no sex drive except for an occasional BJ on his birthday or Christmas. lol
Sounds like one of my boyfriends! But I'm really really sexually attracted to him so even though I get sex from clients and BF #2 I still want BF #1... maybe I'm an addict lol
x
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I just realized that when I see monogrammed things, the kind with just one letter, my eyes go right to the first letter of my work name. So funny ;D
Lol I was on holiday recently and bought a travel mug with the letter P on it instead of my real name initial
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Just what I want sweet milf ideally good company, a sense of humour, generous but no sex drive except for an occasional BJ on his birthday or Christmas. lol
mature helen ;D Oh, I forgot, he never makes demands, he looks after himself, he never needs me to do things for him.
VC, the D word never enters my life these days. I did enough and wore my T-shirt. I have platonic male friends. They are far less distracting. ;D
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mature helen ;D Oh, I forgot, he never makes demands, he looks after himself, he never needs me to do things for him.
VC, the D word never enters my life these days. I did enough and wore my T-shirt. I have platonic male friends. They are far less distracting. ;D
Yes and very importantly willing to come and go on demand..maybe lots of golf or maybe a workaholic. I honestly don't want anymore cock in my life unless I'm being paid to attend it.
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My sentiment exactly, mature helen! :D No cash, no attention/sex. I got a few bills to pay (not joking) and myself to look after. ;D
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You know your an escort when you always carry sponges in your bag
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You know you are an escort when you read the SAAFE forum eagerly. ;)
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Lol I was on holiday recently and bought a travel mug with the letter P on it instead of my real name initial
Hahaaa, I alway turn around when someone calls "Adele" or "K" ;)
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You know you are an escort when you read the SAAFE forum eagerly. ;)
I get to hear that punters do as well. I wondered if registration on saafe may need to involve a verified ID soon. ;D
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When a non escort friend innocently asks if you fancy getting together tonight (at shortish notice) and you instantly think for fuck sake why can't she book in advance! :FF :D
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When you can identify, with your eyes closed, a piece of clothing purely by the sound it makes when it falls on the carpet.
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When I saw a big cock in the sky, through the cloud shapes... ;D
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You know you are an escort when you read the SAAFE forum eagerly. ;)
+100 😀😀
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While watching tele and you hear Eating Pussy then look again they were talking about eating disorders.
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When I saw a big cock in the sky, through the cloud shapes... ;D
I so want to see this! I will be searching the clouds now until I find a cock shape lol.
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When you see words that end in 'ock' and you read cock. Clock.
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Don't look for it, it will appear to you when you don't expect it, on your day off! ;D
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When you start branding people in your civvie life as time wasters
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When someone mentions seeing a person for who they truly are, "warts and all", and you blurt out "He has genital warts??" :-[
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You got 3 phones and a pack of wipes in your bag 😂
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You got 3 phones and a pack of wipes in your bag 😂
+100 😀😀
Went to pull my purse out of my bag the other day at my Mums and a Pastante Extra Large condom came out on top of the purse, luckily my Mother now knows what I do! Oh the joys, tribulations and giggles of being a Sex worker!!
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When you discover a new call blocker app and it makes your day.
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I have three handbags. My work (day job) bag my uni bag and my hooker bag. Fortunately ive never got them mixed up. Imagine openinging my hooker bag in the middle of a lecture 😂
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Speaking of wetwipes, I've seen a few civie friends with them in their bags lately which I must admit makes me stare at them for a few seconds and wonder :D
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Perhaps your civvie friends are not so civvie. ;)
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When a guy at the bar tries chatting you up and you think 'pay me and you can have me otherwise eff off
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You have a one night stand (in the first year of sex work) and you say to him in a very professional manner, "would you like oral with or without a condom"!!!
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You have a one night stand (in the first year of sex work) and you say to him in a very professional manner, "would you like oral with or without a condom"!!!
That is so funny!!!
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You say "I gave him oral" when telling a friend about a new civvy guy (I'd usually say head or blowjob)
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Perhaps your civvie friends are not so civvie. ;)
Got me thinking lol
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When the very odd time that you do have civvy sex, you naturally give them your full on alter ego performance as if you're servicing them!
The last time it happened he seemed a bit taken aback, I don't think he realised what he'd let himself in for. He enjoyed himself non the less ;D
And when you feel slightly irritated at the thought of having casual sex for free ::)
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Also when you find yourself amongst awkward conversations about prostitution and the likes, and you sit there pretending to be all innocent like you thought that this stuff didn't really happen in real life. :P
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When you watch tv and during sex scenes you can't help but think "this is so unrealistic", "that wouldn't work", "that would work better differently", "went in too fast", "wtf! they both came together so fast? Riiight!". In the meantime your civvie friends are all flustered.
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When you watch tv and during sex scenes you can't help but think "this is so unrealistic", "that wouldn't work", "that would work better differently", "went in too fast", "wtf! they both came together so fast? Riiight!". In the meantime your civvie friends are all flustered.
Haha I do this all the time, really irritates my friends ;D
The worst lately was a guy casual sex scene in American Gods, it was really well done but at no point did they stop for a condom or even lube! :o
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;Dspot on elleheart ;D
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When a guy at the bar tries chatting you up and you think 'pay me and you can have me otherwise eff off
When you check out of the hotel and think "wow all those f***able guys checking in now!!!" And then you think, "nope, not for free"
Then you get home and see all the client towels that need to be washed... How many towels can a single woman have :FF
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When you take your suitcase out of the car boot & it's vibrating .... ;D
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When you completely erase the word "free" out of your vocabulary. The only term you use is "available"...
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Day off and all you can think is yayyyy no shaving today!!!!
yep and |I can walk around looking like sideshow Bob too !!
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yep and |I can walk around looking like sideshow Bob too !!
Or even less glamorous. Tesco grocery shopping this morning, trying to figure out my lunch. Wondering around thinking "no, this will make me fart... nope, this will make me poo... wait this! Oh no, this contains garlic!!!" :FF :FF :FF
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When you realise what an earth am I doing.
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Or even less glamorous. Tesco grocery shopping this morning, trying to figure out my lunch. Wondering around thinking "no, this will make me fart... nope, this will make me poo... wait this! Oh no, this contains garlic!!!" :FF :FF :FF
ha ha ;D
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When you realise you are evaluating guys you see and think 'yes he's probably seen an escort' or 'he probably hasn't'
Especially prevalent when stuck on a train or supermarket shopping.
I also seem to do the same with women I see thinking 'yes they could be escorts etc'...!
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Or even less glamorous. Tesco grocery shopping this morning, trying to figure out my lunch. Wondering around thinking "no, this will make me fart... nope, this will make me poo... wait this! Oh no, this contains garlic!!!" :FF :FF :FF
Lol that is so me. "No beans or fizzy drinks cos got a booking soon" xx
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I try to avoid things I know will make me fart, but I fucking love garlic and I don't give a shit about eating it before a booking.
I mean obviously I wouldn't eat a whole pot of olives stuffed with pickled garlic before a booking I have totally done this before
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I try to avoid things I know will make me fart, but I fucking love garlic and I don't give a shit about eating it before a booking.
I mean obviously I wouldn't eat a whole pot of olives stuffed with pickled garlic before a booking I have totally done this before
Garlic and red onion. Any fresh salad topped up with plenty of red onion takes me to heaven. Chewing on fresh parsley or coriander helps cleanse your breath immediately but I don't walk around with fresh parsley in my handbag ;D ;D ;D Boy, I fucking love red onion (I also happen to love parsley and coriander :FF
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When you realise what true freedom feels like.
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When you realise what true freedom feels like.
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When you realise what true freedom feels like.
Yes, being an escort does bring a lot of freedom!
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When you send a text to a youngster driving and you send 'be saafe' ....then quickly change !
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You know you're an escort when you have a slutbag/whore bag :P
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You stop taking so much rubbish from people and learn to say no. You stop compromising your happiness just to listen to someone who doesn't care about yours. You take what everyone says with a pinch of salt and start noticing when people go out of their way to waste your time/ take the piss out of you.
I also look at every girl and irrationally wonder why they are not doing exactly the same as me. Makes me feel like a future Madame!!
Things also start to slowly seem like really good value for what you can realistically afford.
Feeling like your inner activist flares up when people say what someone like yourself does is really easy and requires no skills beyond 'laying on your back'. :FF
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When i go to the gym and i am fully covered....long sleeve, long tshirt, long leggings...
many girls wearing a bra and they show their skin..
in my mind....they show their body for free.... ;D ;D
when guys watch you and you do not care!....and you are so full of self confidence between a lot of guys!
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Every time you pull out a wedgie frontways you smell your hand to check your smelling fresh as a daisy for the day ahead.
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When your shopping for them beautiful clutch purse that you hold with a coctail/dress gala dinner you make sure following list is ticked in your head - Space for hustle phone - space for condoms - lube and mini femwash size.
Even though you are out at an event your mind is still on making money and is still on call. So if client wants to meet night time I still say yes then slip away like Cinderella into my prepaid Addison lee.
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When your shopping for them beautiful clutch purse that you hold with a coctail/dress gala dinner you make sure following list is ticked in your head - Space for hustle phone - space for condoms - lube and mini femwash size.
Even though you are out at an event your mind is still on making money and is still on call. So if client wants to meet night time I still say yes then slip away like Cinderella into my prepaid Addison lee.
I love this.
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I'm a total Tom boy! I wear jodhpurs/jeans most days which I hate my clients requesting anyway! Once they know i'm horsey, they get a thing about it. They want the whole look to which I say "no you probably don't want my greased up boots or my sweat soaked riding hat" My riding clothes stink of shit and horse piss! So I know i'm an escort when I find the getting dressed up in riding gear for clients usually involves me hoping they don't see Velcro hairs or shit stains on my jodhpurs.
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Licketysplitz
That's an interesting one! I'm a horse racing fan and my brother has kept horses for as long as I can remember, so I'm definitely 'attuned' to the smell of the equine world. It's something that some might find revolting, but once it becomes a familiar smell then it's part of life!
Bob
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When you feel like you get through more baby wipes and towels every week!! Haha x
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When you see baby wipes on offer in boxes on 10 or 12 and think yes!
As you struggle home loaded down with a few heavy boxes you then question your wisdom...
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When the staff in ann summers know you and say hi and pass you your specific stockings you always buy.
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When the staff in ann summers know you and say hi and pass you your specific stockings you always buy.
I love my Ann summer girls, they always make sure I get my discounts after over indulging on the latest toys :-X
Having to make sure to tell certain blokes its your time of month just to have sex rather than the opposite becomes normal.
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I'm a total Tom boy! I wear jodhpurs/jeans most days which I hate my clients requesting anyway! Once they know i'm horsey, they get a thing about it. They want the whole look to which I say "no you probably don't want my greased up boots or my sweat soaked riding hat" My riding clothes stink of shit and horse piss! So I know i'm an escort when I find the getting dressed up in riding gear for clients usually involves me hoping they don't see Velcro hairs or shit stains on my jodhpurs.
You can tell clients like that have never been on a yard in their lives and have this bizarre image of it. You want me to wear my jodhs and long boots? Sure - but I spend hours a day ankle deep in and shoveling horse shit in them so they will stink and have questionable stains on them. Not exactly my idea of sexy!
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Every time you poop in your incall facility you check that you haven't left skid marks for thecliemts to see!
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Seeing individual packs of tissues with a sign over them saying 'velvet facials' and it makes you do a double take.
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When you go over to matalan every week to empty the rack of plus size hold ups :D
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When you never say blowjob anymore and call it oral constantly...
When you find yourself getting inwardly annoyed when you hear guys talking badly of hookers...
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Looking around a few civvie guys, thinking to myself, "ah, they are decent men, who would never dream of paying to have sex with hookers...they are too nice.." How do I know? I need to stop kidding myself.
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Looking around a few civvie guys, thinking to myself, "ah, they are decent men, who would never dream of paying to have sex with hookers...they are too nice.." How do I know? I need to stop kidding myself.
Why is it an either/or? Don't you think our clients (not all of them obviously) are decent men?
Do you think you are not a decent woman because you choose to sell sexual services?
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Why is it an either/or? Don't you think our clients (not all of them obviously) are decent men?
Do you think you are not a decent woman because you choose to sell sexual services?
That's the whole point of my post, VC sorry, if that wasn't clear.
Well, you know no matter how many years I escorted, I still have an inner little girl inside who believed there was a nice man who only loves you and only you. You know, it's not true, but it's just pleasant and nice even if it is not in reality. Having said that there was a post by a well-known poster here that not every single man do punt. That's also true. There are married guys who haven't got any interest in seeing escorts and dedicated to his work and family life. You never know. But I have gone off topic here.. :)
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When you look forward to the time of month so you can lay around in your jammies and eat chocolate all day.
In my civvy life i hated been on my period..... now it means I can have a bit of a rest.
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When you don't do sex for free any longer.....
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Looking around a few civvie guys, thinking to myself, "ah, they are decent men, who would never dream of paying to have sex with hookers...they are too nice.." How do I know? I need to stop kidding myself.
I always think the opposite, every guy I see on the train/bus as a potential punter. When I see hundreds of guys in suits get off a certain platform when in London I go straight on here and see if there are any rooms being offered in that area.
Of course there are guys who don't use prostitutes but in reality even the most loyal of husbands/bf/sex buddies and everyone in between see us for all kinds of reasons, doesn't mean they are automatically not decent men, same way we are not automatically unholy messes :)
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When you don't do sex for free any longer.....
This. Escorting has completely cured my casual sex compulsion in so many ways.
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getting into a nice comfy dressing gown when the client's on his way out feels like a gift from god
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goes to the local discount store, there's this young bloke, who never say, hi to anybody, his customers, just no social pleasantries, just dead quiet. I think.."oh poor guy at the checkout, when was the last time he got laid?" a couple of years ago? It's showing. May not be, but I somehow think that. ??? Looking more like a serial killer by the minute...
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When you have to get a new winter wadrobe and since its not busy at the moment need to invest wisely to make sure your office boots also be used as sex boots. Kill two birds in one stone.
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I said today at work PSE instead of PPE (personal protective equipment). No one noticed my slip up i hope x
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You have to make sure your history is, well history! And to close all your private browsing tabs becomes second nature.
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You can wash your hair and leave your eyeliner wings INTACT.
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Well I went to accountants to do accounts the other day , before going I needed to check all my bags etc for receipts ( I do keep together but found a few extra)
Every single bag had condoms and mini lube in the side pockets the I did my make up and yep they were in both my little make up bags too !!!
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I said today at work PSE instead of PPE (personal protective equipment). No one noticed my slip up i hope x
;D ;D That cracked me up.
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Yep lol , made me have a little re-think , don't want to leave a condom trail as I'm walking along plus if I'm with family it's a habit to say " Oooh I've got one/ it in my bag have a rummage and you'll find"
Ha ha ha !
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Probably already said but when I am pushing the trolley around Sainsburys and think each and every man in here could easily be a punter.
I do this wherever I am but in the supermarket when you are slowly wandering up and down the aisles it always surprises me how many men who are shopping with their wives are ogling other women. I sometimes ask myself I wonder if he has been browsing adultWk today. :o
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Probably already said but when I am pushing the trolley around Sainsburys and think each and every man in here could easily be a punter.
I do this wherever I am but in the supermarket when you are slowly wandering up and down the aisles it always surprises me how many men who are shopping with their wives are ogling other women. I sometimes ask myself I wonder if he has been browsing adultWk today. :o
I do this on the train (I travel by train a lot)
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I do this wherever I am but in the supermarket when you are slowly wandering up and down the aisles it always surprises me how many men who are shopping with their wives are ogling other women.
This is one of the reasons why I never "trust" "men" as a civvie woman. :( I know it's a double standard.
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When you hold back during sex with a civilian, purposely do a very bland oral, and use basic positions. So that he thinks you are civilian too
My ex kept telling me that I should make money from my sex skills... If only he knew
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When you hold back during sex with a civilian, purposely do a very bland oral, and use basic positions. So that he thinks you are civilian too
My ex kept telling me that I should make money from my sex skills... If only he knew
Ha ha been there ;D ;D
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When you're at a party and you feel irritated cause some clueless girl is talking really loudly about how she sometimes has 'prostitute sex' with people... Prostitute sex being sex where you don't kiss each other, because prostitute's never kiss she says. ::) If only that was the case sometimes lol.
When you have civvy sex and the guy tells you you're a pro at putting a condom on. 'Am I?' ;D
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When i hear celebrity bb is back in january and i immediately think barebacker!!
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Partners compliment you on your sexual skills and you wish you had just learnt them as you go along/from books/online etc and not from having to please guys for a living/knowing what guys like
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When you go for a normal back massage because you ache so much (from sex and gym) she mentions about how tense the middle of my back is and do I kneel down and bend over a lot?? :-[ :D lol
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When you go for a normal back massage because you ache so much (from sex and gym) she mentions about how tense the middle of my back is and do I kneel down and bend over a lot?? :-[ :D lol
Ya ha ha!
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Get (silly) excited seeing those mini tiny baby oil - tooth paste - mouth wash etc in super drug. So you purchase loads of them and when you get home place them in every hand bag that you have so your always prepared. Also having two separate baby wipes the basic ones seventy pence or eighty pence for clients and you have your nice expensive wipes as you are extra sensitive.
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When you go for a normal back massage because you ache so much (from sex and gym) she mentions about how tense the middle of my back is and do I kneel down and bend over a lot?? :-[ :D lol
Omg! I always have tensed muscles in higher back/neck area. And once I went for a massage - after couple of days of incalls + gym session. They guy said interesting how you got tension here - I just said I was at gym yesterday, he said hm... you couldn't get that from there really.
OMG ;D ;D
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Omg! I always have tensed muscles in higher back/neck area. And once I went for a massage - after couple of days of incalls + gym session. They guy said interesting how you got tension here - I just said I was at gym yesterday, he said hm... you couldn't get that from there really.
OMG ;D ;D
sounds like a common side effect of escorting! ;D I think one of the biggest misunderstood points of having sex for money is 'oh its so easy, you just lie there and get fucked for 1 hour, etc' but as you know, wow its very hard at times and really makes you ache afterwards. I injured my back a few years ago (gym related) so mine is weak anyway, also on top of this I go to the gym everyday so makes me wary as your back is very important if you mess that up, your fucked (not in a good way) for work. Like one time, was a very slow day and my back was hurting, got a late meet from a client I knew was going to be so rough and non stop actual sex. part of me was like I should turn it down but as it was a bad earning day I took it and did say please be gentle. He was very nice and friendly so said thats fine but nope! he fucked me in every way possible, up, down and all around! omg my poor back! but work is work so suppose worth it. Thats why I make sure to get a proper massage now and again. Dont care about them judging me! ;D
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When i hear celebrity bb is back in january and i immediately think barebacker!!
Omg hilarious!!! Ha ha xx
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When you have a guy coming over for social time & you tell him to park outside number 5 & call from his car for house number ;D
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When your going away on holiday and plan doing new shots in the hotel.
With your auto self timer camera or tablet :-*
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When you have a guy coming over for social time & you tell him to park outside number 5 & call from his car for house number ;D
;D ;D ;D
Or tell him you no need to know my flat door number. My flat is on the end of corridor with a grey door mat.
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When your going away on holiday and plan doing new shots in the hotel.
With your auto self timer camera or tablet :-*
I do the exact same thing.
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When you have a guy coming over for social time & you tell him to park outside number 5 & call from his car for house number ;D
I find myself doing this with friends! I have almost texted my postdcode saying ...?you need to confirm at X time, and then give me a call once you?ve arrived?
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When i hear celebrity bb is back in january and i immediately think barebacker!!
Quite, there are some abbreviations you see that you just can't get out of your head.
Oral BB is better than Celebrity BB any day!!!
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... you come to the realisation that men as old as your grandad use escorts and still have sex =/
Not even, how about the thought of your grandad booking an escort
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When someone over the counter of a shop asks if you have a boyfriend and reply without thinking ?I don?t give out that sort of information during a booking? ::)
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Your block list is longer than your contacts list.
Having sex completely naked just feels weird (you?re so used to wearing stockings)
When on your phone in public checking AW and Saafe,constantly glance around you to see no one is peeping at your screen.
Forgetting to turn your work phone off inside your bag when on public?s transport... and it keeps on ring ring ringing!
Google search is for civvies.... Saafe search is for escorts
No need for a clock, you just automatically can sense when half an hour or an hour of time is up!
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When you always use the peephole in the front door to check the coast is clear......even when you're letting family out!!!
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When you always automatically go to put the condom on/take it off/clean up on civvie dates ;D
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Quite, there are some abbreviations you see that you just can't get out of your head.
Oral BB is better than Celebrity BB any day!!!
The only thing worse than bb with a client is Celebrity BB!! ;D
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You realise just how precious time is, time really IS money ;)
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I find myself doing this with friends! I have almost texted my postdcode saying ...?you need to confirm at X time, and then give me a call once you?ve arrived?
;D bonkers aren't we!
I actually went for a spa with a guy, who picked me up in his car last week. I'd never met him & I'd forgotten my phone so that was concerning. I got his car reg though & wrote it down leaving it at home before we left.
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When you become resistant to Clients. :)
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Cleaning out your drawer and you see all the hotel key cards pilled up you forgot to throw out including the fancy five star ones from outcalls.
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Cleaning out your drawer and you see all the hotel key cards pilled up you forgot to throw out including the fancy five star ones from outcalls.
And when you're getting ready to go and work at a hotel you go to often and need to pick through your collection of Do Not Disturb signs for the right one to pack in the case the one in your room is missing when you get there ;D.
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And when you're getting ready to go and work at a hotel you go to often and need to pick through your collection of Do Not Disturb signs for the right one to pack in the case the one in your room is missing when you get there ;D.
I never done that. I will begin to collect the 5 star hotel ones as they are nice. 8)
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You think of yourself as your work name...
I recently thought 'come on now workname' in a non work situation.
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You think of yourself as your work name...
I recently thought 'come on now workname' in a non work situation.
Omg when I am at swing with my other half and connecting with other couples - your name me: I'm emily (one of the many escort names I have) never say my real name it comes automatically. lool x
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When your at a bus stop and the lady next to you hands her child mini water bottles you instantly politely ask her where did she purchase them and she says so. I then think bingo these will be appropriate for clients as they waste normal size water bottles. End up buying in bulk cash and carry.
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When you plan your sick leave off your civvy job to get busier at home making money instead and enjoying yourself more .
Heck no one's going to catch you going out because your in doing bookings !!!
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I loved the last bit!
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When your at a bus stop and the lady next to you hands her child mini water bottles you instantly politely ask her where did she purchase them and she says so. I then think bingo these will be appropriate for clients as they waste normal size water bottles. End up buying in bulk cash and carry.
Inspired now on that thanks xx
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...you're watching "Can't Pay? We'll Take it Away!" (or "The Sheriffs Are Coming"), and you wish you could tell the woman who owes the money in a given case to just set up an AW profile...
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...you're watching "Can't Pay? We'll Take it Away!" (or "The Sheriffs Are Coming"), and you wish you could tell the woman who owes the money in a given case to just set up an AW profile...
I think the same thing and offer overnights for special 500 for one week only and see how quick those who are seeking a bargain overnight will take up that offer swiftly.
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I was looking at my “past co-worker from ciivy job” instagram profile tonight. She is in her 20’s like me, I saw a picture of her and her dad and thought to myself: “ looks familiar, have I fucked this man?” ;D loool this is so evil >:D :angel:
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When you browse through TK Max and admire small boxes as suitable containers to put condoms in...
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When you browse through TK Max and admire small boxes as suitable containers to put condoms in...
“Admire” ;D ;D haha
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When you have been paying cash in stores for so long, you haven’t noticed the system changed where you put your card in when you pay with a debit card. Happened to me a few years back after being a WG for a good long time. The clerk in a dry tone: it has been a while since the cards should be put in on the top in stead of under the key board.... oops.... ;D ;D
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You get chatted up by silly guys cos the sunshine is out you confidently hand them your working phone number and working name as you have many phones. End up making a client or two out of them.
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When a guy looks at you in a supermarket and says "Hi" - in a low sexy voice and then I have to think to myself - have I had a shag with him?
Pre escort days I would have thought - weirdo - what does he want?
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When you had your birthday and had to double check how old you actually are ;D
Haha ;D
When you can predict the end of the sentence.."Y'know, I'm really unusual for a man because...
...I actually like to make the woman feel good!"
" Ah, really? Oh that's fab to hear! " ( for the fifth time this week.. ::))
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Ooo, he's modest! :-X And humble! :-X
Not!!! ;D
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When you see the younger civvy girls out posing in their see thru belly revealing tops and painfully high shoes and think "yeah you would never guess from looking at my boring sensible and comfortable outfit that I wear what you are wearing indoors and get highly paid for it"
When you see a man near your home on his mobile and think "I wonder if he is just confirming he is there and getting the door number from some hooker" when he is probably not!
;D
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Seen two glam ladies in a sports car and thinking are you well paid working girls going to a duo booking ;)
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When you plan to extend your tour and only came with one set of casual clothing. So you go to your saving grace of Primark spend minimum 20 quid nothing over on leggings and few tops.
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When you get the rental contract on your new incall location reviewed by a lawyer in exchange for an hour with anal, and you haggled. ;D
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Deacivated fakebook because i cant relate to any of the non escort wall posts and people and just find saafe far better x :)
oh my god this is so true I used to be a social media addict now I am a saafe Uke and aw addict this is by far the funniest 45 page posts I've ever come across xxxx
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oh my god this is so true I used to be a social media addict now I am a saafe Uke and aw addict this is by far the funniest 45 page posts I've ever come across xxxx
Saafe is far better and more entertaining ,supportive and useful than social media
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When you plan to extend your tour and only came with one set of casual clothing. So you go to your saving grace of Primark spend minimum 20 quid nothing over on leggings and few tops.
:) so true
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Deacivated fakebook because i cant relate to any of the non escort wall posts and people and just find saafe far better x :)
Omg me too! I deleted all my social media as I live in a totally different world to everyone on there and have nothing in common with them. I got fed up of reading all the supposed amazing things and places people had visited and liked to show off about, i was frustrated because I had to remain tight lipped and live under the radar, the places I go and the things I now do, I could blow them out the water lol i totally identify with everyone on Saafe,and have such a giggle reading some of the threads. I don't miss social media at all, the one thing I have noticed is the amount of time you gain from not using it.
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You text any personal / meeting the day prior to confirm ;D
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Omg me too! I deleted all my social media as I live in a totally different world to everyone on there and have nothing in common with them. I got fed up of reading all the supposed amazing things and places people had visited and liked to show off about, i was frustrated because I had to remain tight lipped and live under the radar, the places I go and the things I now do, I could blow them out the water lol i totally identify with everyone on Saafe,and have such a giggle reading some of the threads. I don't miss social media at all, the one thing I have noticed is the amount of time you gain from not using it.
After reading a gushing "get a room" post from one Facebook ( and real life ) friend about another - who happened to have washing up liquid to loan when 1st friend had run out..I realised I had left that room years ago..and was NEVER going back.. :-\
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This is more of a super humiliating experience but it is escort related!
In a hotel yesterday, I closed the window and an alarm goes off, really fucking loud. Confused as it wasn't the first time I'd closed the window but not normally any alarm. I was in my stockings etc so had to quickly get dressed and hide anything incriminating because I thought it was the alarm in my room and not the general hotel one, I thought I'd set it off.
The noise was unbearable and a couple of hotel staff came to help me, really puzzled as they had no idea what was happening and we couldn't work out where the noise was coming from. So hotel man points to my arm and says 'I think it's coming from you!'
And fuck yes it was my wrist alarm I must have pressed by accident! It was so not funny at the time I felt like such a twat! But they laughed about it! I do check that it works from time to time but only for a second and I've (thankfully) never needed it. Jesus though my ears were in pain...at least I know it works, no bastard would hang around listening to that and the hotel people came quite fast so I guess it works!
:D :FF
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This is more of a super humiliating experience but it is escort related!
In a hotel yesterday, I closed the window and an alarm goes off, really fucking loud. Confused as it wasn't the first time I'd closed the window but not normally any alarm. I was in my stockings etc so had to quickly get dressed and hide anything incriminating because I thought it was the alarm in my room and not the general hotel one, I thought I'd set it off.
The noise was unbearable and a couple of hotel staff came to help me, really puzzled as they had no idea what was happening and we couldn't work out where the noise was coming from. So hotel man points to my arm and says 'I think it's coming from you!'
And fuck yes it was my wrist alarm I must have pressed by accident! It was so not funny at the time I felt like such a twat! But they laughed about it! I do check that it works from time to time but only for a second and I've (thankfully) never needed it. Jesus though my ears were in pain...at least I know it works, no bastard would hang around listening to that and the hotel people came quite fast so I guess it works!
:D :FF
Ahh thats one for the books! Where did you get your wrist alarm from? Such an amazing idea x
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Ahh thats one for the books! Where did you get your wrist alarm from? Such an amazing idea x
From Amazon IIRC? Under £10 too. Clearly they work extremely well, it went on forever! Just don't press it by mistake...
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When a guy looks at you in a supermarket and says "Hi" - in a low sexy voice and then I have to think to myself - have I had a shag with him?
Pre escort days I would have thought - weirdo - what does he want?
Me and my friend have this debate all the time. I now move very careful when getting chatted up by guys
ME - "I swear this guy was looking at me strangely and he looked like a CLIENT!"
FRIEND - "OMDS then he probably is"
hahahaha
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When you realised buying condoms is like second nature to you. You no longer feel embarrassed about stocking up and taking them to the counter and watch the sales woman/man's face and you just smile at them. loool.
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When you realised buying condoms is like second nature to you. You no longer feel embarrassed about stocking up and taking them to the counter and watch the sales woman/man's face and you just smile at them. loool.
I buy mine in bulk from lovehoney. It's great as it comes through the post in plain packaging and is great value for money! 144 condoms for less than £20. This way I don't worry about running out :)
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When you go into the hotel bathroom and remove the body lotion because yes, men have used it for shower gel.
Also remove the small thick white bath mats that get mistaken all the time for towels.
Then hide all real towels except one so they dont all get used by one man.
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Words like 'handjob' and 'oral' are saved in your phone's predictive text because you type them so often ;D
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When I go into Ann summers and say oh I' need that for my client by mistake!!
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When I go into Ann summers and say oh I' need that for my client by mistake!!
Hahahaha love it
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Oops Sugar!
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You know you spend too much time in hotels when you start putting your used towels in the shower (for housekeeping to change, when your at home.
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When you tell your hairdresser you want a blow job instead of a blow dry!!! luckily she has a sense of humour
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...when you're excited because your parcel of 1000, 'arse friendly' disposable medical examination gloves arrive
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When you happily strip off anywhere, in front of anyone, and realise later that this may not have been all that appropriate... :P
Likewise, when you see someone naked in a place they probably shouldn't be, and don't bat an eyelid (whilst your mate / family member is horrified) ::)
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When you don't bother nicking the toiletries from a hotel as you spend that much time in hotels you can't be bothered (plus you have a ton of mini shampoos already at home)
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When you happily strip off anywhere, in front of anyone, and realise later that this may not have been all that appropriate... :P
Likewise, when you see someone naked in a place they probably shouldn't be, and don't bat an eyelid (whilst your mate / family member is horrified) ::)
Word
Bonus points for your civvy mate saying "Youre very non body focussed arent you"
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you can go from being a slob in pjs to a sex goddess in 20 minutes flat
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Your friends see the *other phone* and ask why you've got two.
I say oh I'm. A player sometimes. Not sure if they believe me or not!!
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Yes I've said things along those lines too Sugar lol. However genuine friends I do tell the truth about being an escort but only a rare exception as I have learnt to be wary and choosy who I tell.
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Word
Bonus points for your civvy mate saying "Youre very non body focussed arent you"
Hahaha absolutely!! :D
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1) When you pay everything with cash while everyone around you pays everything with cards.
2) When the sex scenes in the cinema seem both boring and perfectly unrealistic.
3) When you have enough lingerie to dress 10 civvie women.
4) When everyone around a table denounces the sexual exploitation of prostitutes and you dare not say anything. :)
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When ppl are talking about this job slash industry & getting it all wrong. How we're all either nymphos, drug addicts, con artists or millionaires. I'm sure this has already been mentioned, I didn't read all 45 pages yet.
I am none of these things, thanks. I have to sit there & keep my mouth shut (man, is that hard)while I/we are being maligned ~ like we don't have enough problems already🙄.
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when your form of work related PPE are condoms .
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1) When you pay everything with cash while everyone around you pays everything with cards.
2) When the sex scenes in the cinema seem both boring and perfectly unrealistic.
3) When you have enough lingerie to dress 10 civvie women.
4) When everyone around a table denounces the sexual exploitation of prostitutes and you dare not say anything. :)
All of the above ;D
On a day when you fitted in a smear test followed by a swim session, followed by an evening of outcalls, you realise you got dressed and undressed no less than 12 times in a single day.. Before you even crash back into your 'jamas 😏
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When ppl are talking about this job slash industry & getting it all wrong. How we're all either nymphos, drug addicts, con artists or millionaires. I'm sure this has already been mentioned, I didn't read all 45 pages yet.
I am none of these things, thanks. I have to sit there & keep my mouth shut (man, is that hard)while I/we are being maligned ~ like we don't have enough problems already🙄.
Yep exactly this
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All of the above ;D
On a day when you fitted in a smear test followed by a swim session, followed by an evening of outcalls, you realise you got dressed and undressed no less than 12 times in a single day.. Before you even crash back into your 'jamas 😏
This
On my day off last week I had my normal tests at the GUM clinic, then went for a brazilian wax. Made me wonder why I can't seem to go a single day without getting some poor sod to touch my fanny ::)
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This
On my day off last week I had my normal tests at the GUM clinic, then went for a brazilian wax. Made me wonder why I can't seem to go a single day without getting some poor sod to touch my fanny ::)
;D
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You sing a healing meditation song to your vagina before you go to bed, reassuring her that next week is time off for xmas. :angel:
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You have tens of condoms and a couple of lubes, butt plugs and dildos next to the bible in the nightstand in your hotel room ;D
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You have tens of condoms and a couple of lubes, butt plugs and dildos next to the bible in the nightstand in your hotel room ;D
Lol I always feel guilty about the bible being in the same drawer as my condoms and toys, so I always hide it in the wardrobe.
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Lol I always feel guilty about the bible being in the same drawer as my condoms and toys, so I always hide it in the wardrobe.
I do the exact same thing. Lol
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When the contacts in your phone are like
dna1
DNA 2
Old fart
Tw1
Tw2
Smelly
Yummy man
Numbnuts
Arsewipe
Microdick
Nice man...... ;D ;D ;D
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1. When you have a full chest of drawers that contains purely lingerie..
2. When your weekly washing consists of PJs and lingerie..
3. When you don't actually bother buying clothes anymore as you never wear them..
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When you look at guys in the street and silently judge them “now he looks like a GFE type with a huge knob and fingers with long nails”😂😂😂