SAAFE forum
General Category => Blather and Babble => Topic started by: TeenKylie on 07 April 2012, 01:30:32 am
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When I first started escorting I was very naive. I thought everyone would be nice and it was all about how much fun I would have and the money I could make. I've always been an extremely honest, genuine and like to think very nice person and for some reason was stupid enough to think others were the same. I have been verbally abused, threatened, outed and fucked over by so many people since I've been doing this and I just think why? What have I done to deserve this? The things people say about me even past clients who have been so vicious when I did nothing but try to please them in whatever way I could. I've made mistakes yes and i'm certainly not perfect but why do some people think it's acceptable to be so nasty? I seem to constantly have to pick myself up from this. I really love what I do and I'm so determined not to let these types of people continue to get to me but after all that has happened I really do not trust anyone anymore. I am a strong and very independent person and I also feel really lucky to have such good friends and family. These past two years have opened my eyes so maybe that's a good thing but when you keep seeing or hearing so many nasty or untrue things about yourself it's hard to stay positive, but I will not them win.
Any advice?
Kylie x
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People are just nasty sometimes hunny. I dunno why, but they are. I've had similar problems as well. I stopped working before I got married....then when I split up with my husband he decided to tell my whole family what I used to do.....they don't speak to me anymore because of it. I've lost friends, and had people behave so horribly to me it's unbelievable. You just have to keep your chin up and remember that you can't stop people being arseholes! x x x x
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TK...I could have written that post myself! Only differeence being I'm 53 9today actually!) and I started when I was 50....so I should have been more worldy/man wise anyway....but I wasn't! I've been threatened, blackmailed, had hateful nasty texts and messages, been stolen from, battered and raped. And I've never done a bad thing to anyone. I can't even kill and insect.
It's just the world....so full of nasty, evil people....and I guess being in this line of work we get more unsavoury characters than most.
Chin up chucky egg....there's a lot of good in the world too to balance it out. We just have to grow a thick skin.
HUGS xxx
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Sorry to hear this. I can only imagine what this is like, but unfortunatley it is some peoples human nature to be nasty it makes them feel better about themselves. Not that I am making an excuse for their behaviour as anything but politeness and respect should not be tolerated. In this business it happens though but head up you are better than them move forward, if they can not treat you right you do not people like that in your life, that is my attitude.
Keep smiling x
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i can,t imagine what some of you have been through, in the normal world people can be hurtful and vindictive as i have had many experiences, i have yet to experience anything yet from doing this but its early days yet for me and no-one knows as for clients i would tell them to do one if they were nasty i won,t put up with it, i am only doing this part-time though...they are not worth it hun xx
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I feel very similiarly darling. People are very jealous and nasty sometimes. It really is difficult to trust people, but try to retain a little faith in humanity. I had a close knit group of friends, but they have no idea what I do for a living. I just don't think they'd understand. I lost alot of friends when I first started, and had to learn the hard way to keep myself to myself x
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TK...I could have written that post myself! Only differeence being I'm 53 9today actually!) and I started when I was 50....so I should have been more worldy/man wise anyway....but I wasn't! I've been threatened, blackmailed, had hateful nasty texts and messages, been stolen from, battered and raped. And I've never done a bad thing to anyone. I can't even kill and insect.
It's just the world....so full of nasty, evil people....and I guess being in this line of work we get more unsavoury characters than most.
Chin up chucky egg....there's a lot of good in the world too to balance it out. We just have to grow a thick skin
HUGS xxx
I'm so sorry you have had to deal with that I don't know how I would if it were me. Thankgod I've never experienced any kind of violence.
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Thankyou for all you're replies. So many people seem to have wanted to see me to fail in this Industry but I still have not. I'm so determined to always prove people wrong. The positives always seem to outway the negatives for me in this work and the fact that I genuinely really enjoy it and love meeting new people. There's always one person that will try and bring you down that's the thing. But you have to rise above it and there's no way I'm going to let the nasty people make me all bitter and twisted. I'm so much better than them and I know that.
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I've been outed loads of times, usually by ex partners :-\
I've only ever had two people threaten me and ironically, they were both running agencies I'd worked for ::)
The men have usually been the best things about this job, I've only had a few numpties and I've usually forgotten about them within months.
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When I first started escorting I was very naive. I thought everyone would be nice and it was all about how much fun I would have and the money I could make. I've always been an extremely honest, genuine and like to think very nice person and for some reason was stupid enough to think others were the same. I have been verbally abused, threatened, outed and fucked over by so many people since I've been doing this and I just think why? What have I done to deserve this? The things people say about me even past clients who have been so vicious when I did nothing but try to please them in whatever way I could. I've made mistakes yes and i'm certainly not perfect but why do some people think it's acceptable to be so nasty? I seem to constantly have to pick myself up from this. I really love what I do and I'm so determined not to let these types of people continue to get to me but after all that has happened I really do not trust anyone anymore. I am a strong and very independent person and I also feel really lucky to have such good friends and family. These past two years have opened my eyes so maybe that's a good thing but when you keep seeing or hearing so many nasty or untrue things about yourself it's hard to stay positive, but I will not them win.
Any advice?
Kylie x
Kylie,
I am familiar with you from lurking on another forum. I guess much of what you are talking about comes from there.
My advice is to stay away from punter led forums where the vitriol is spouted by few but is targeted and hurtful.
Just concentrate on providing a good service, keep your screening high and never blog on AW/AN other places about time wasters etc. I think, (and I am guessing), that portraying that you have been mucked about encourages other wierdos to do the same "for a laugh".
Good luck to you and chin up.
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Thanks Pandora. It's not just the experience I had from there which yes was bad but in general life.
You are most probably right I just should rise above it but do find that hard.
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I was just about to say the exact same thing - while its good to be open and friendly and get into reasonable arguments on fourums, if you really want to be in this business a long time and more importantly have a quite life, good mental health and a good qualilty of life, then you have to keep a bit of yourself back ( if only for yourself and sanity ) and know when to stop posting
im often on the forums ( same one as you ) and i wont ever say what i really want to say not because i want to say anything bad about anyone or good or that i dont / do agree with whats being said, or that im asslicking or not ass licking or that im scared to post
But because i have seen the fall out of many girls who get into this bitch fest thing with clients on line and on forums both here and abroad and its only then when its all been said and done, that they the escort realise how vunereable they are
you wont be the first and you wont be the last to have gotton into this postion through fourums its the modern way of schoolground bullying
Sometime watching the post on certain fourums are like watching a train crash or a car accident you know you shouldnt look, you know you shouldnt read it , you know you should help the other person, but you just cant you keep on watching mouth open in amazment shock and bloody horror as it get to be a pile up with loads of dead bodies
The disadvantage of the forums are plain to see and they are not weighted in the escorts favour
The guys know everthing about you, its all out there on the net,
you know nothing about them other than what they want you to know, that means if i were a betting person, i would bet on them winning, by winning i mean, pulling the other person to pieces and ruining her mentally and financially even if only for a short time
I tend to stick to the safe posts or i try to have a balanced argument if i feel that i have to join in but i wont get into arguments even if i want to i just think that its not worth it i dont know these people so why waste a minute of my life arguing with them
The fourums, [a punting forum] inc can be a good and effective way of marketing yourself along with other websites even if you think that you dont want clients from there because of what they write about escort our clients have to come from somewhere and they arent all that bad
I have met up with quite a few from [a punting forum] who on the board come across as horrible and really really nasty but in real life when i have my strap on up there ass, they are nothing like that at all ;D
i have been in this business for over 12 years and have never ever ever had any real problems, certainly none as horrible as you have had in such a short space of time .So it is possible to do (and i know many others the same as well who work and dont really get any problems)
im not trying to patronise you just trying to help - your a young girl who obviously good at your work, i can see that, but you dont want to be burnt out mentally with hatred of men within a year because of the abuse from these forums
its a case of keeping your head low ( but visiable) do good advertising keep working hard and methodically
and think once, think twice, before you post and push that button for internet fourums
i know they can be addictive but honestly they do you know favours if you do is get into arguments with the guys that are on there there are more than them than you they will just grind you down every day untill you feel like you do at the moment but only worse
Kylie,
I am familiar with you from lurking on another forum. I guess much of what you are talking about comes from there.
My advice is to stay away from punter led forums where the vitriol is spouted by few but is targeted and hurtful.
Just concentrate on providing a good service, keep your screening high and never blog on AW/AN other places about time wasters etc. I think, (and I am guessing), that portraying that you have been mucked about encourages other wierdos to do the same "for a laugh".
Good luck to you and chin up.
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I agree too - it's a lot easier and a lot better in the long run to play your cards close to your chest, and even if it does mean being a bit antisocial or not being as 'high profile' as some other people, laying yourself and your feelings bare on the internet for every random stranger in Christendom to read isn't a good idea no matter what context it's in. If you react to people, you're giving them what they want - there will always be people who think it's funny or get off on trying to hurt you and there isn't much you can do about that, but don't help by giving them the weapons to do it with.
I've had nasty rumours spread about me by other ladies (and possibly punters) and been threatened with having my neighbours letterboxed by one particular charmer, but I ignored them all and sooner or later they all got bored and gave up. I daresay I get slagged off on some punting forums, but I've no idea to be honest; since I don't read them and the opinions of their members doesn't interest me it's of no significance whatsoever. Another easy target will come along sooner or later, and if they don't get any response they'll soon turn to somebody who will give them what they want.
Can I also remind everybody that we don't get involved with other boards here - it's entirely predictable that this subject has bobbed to the surface like a turd in a toilet bowl and there's nothing untoward been said yet, but board wars are not part of our remit and given that some of these trolls apparently spend more time on here than most of us put together including me, lets practice what we preach and leave the petty whining and slagging off for those who have nothing interesting or insightful to post about on their own stomping ground.
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My advice is to stay away from punter led forums where the vitriol is spouted by few but is targeted and hurtful.
I agree 100%. The short time I went on these forums (due to a nasty would be punter) made me so depressed and angry that I decided never to go on them again.
Why give them the power? I can tell you 1000% that if that is part of/all the problem you will feel so much better in yourself if you avoid them like the plague.
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Thanks very much for all the advice and taking the time to right such detailed responses. I'm taking it all very much on board. Should of come on here when I first started then I might have not got myself into as many messy situations! Lol
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What goes around comes around huni x
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I'm agreeing with lots of the girls above me.
I've been in this business for 15 years and I've never been mucked around by men much. Agencies and exes yes, but they were part of my real life. The men only saw the part of 'me' that was at work. They never got the chance to mess me around, much less upset me in a way that stuck.