Has anyone else had this said to them, and how does it make them feel?

Today I saw a guy (with lots of issues which I heard ALL about!) who said this to me.  He obviously meant well - but it made me feel quite insulted.  I see nothing wrong with what I do, I don't feel ashamed by it - just wish the general population took the same view.

My instinct was to say  'I don't have a problem with what I do' so I did.

He did say he sometimes felt disgusted with himself for seeing escorts so obviously hes got issues there (along with a string of problems to do with alcohol, drugs, gambling and god knows what else!)

I could see he really felt he was paying me a compliment too!

I saw someone not so long ago who, in the heat of his passions, yelled, "Why are you doing this job?! You should be a WIFE!"

Presumably he thought that the biggest compliment ever? Not for me, really. Not that being a wife is a bad thing for those who are into it! But, erm, I'm currently a hard-working single self-employed professional who also studies part-time and is getting really good marks for all her assignments, so being recognised for that would be a better compliment to me - but I guess it's harder to get all those words out when approaching orgasm?

Honestly, I do agree that 'compliments' along this line are very weird when you unpick their source, you know, the things people learn as they grow up in our society which results in them one day telling the prostitute they're shagging that she seems nice enough to be not-a-prossie. I know there are plenty of people out there who don't believe in unpicking this stuff - and I wouldn't do it when a client has actually said something like that, since you know they mean well really - but honestly, you've got to ask yourself where such an odd, twisted idea comes from! "You're such a great prostitute that you seem like you could do something much better with your life" - if you swapped "prostitute" for "lawyer" or "doctor", the sentence would make no sense. Being good at our job, though, makes people like us enough to tell us we shouldn't be doing our job?!

It's a shame but yes, our job is definitely still considered demeaning by many no matter how much effort we and our clients put into saying, "Oh yes, it's a very empowering choice, an independent sex worker makes her own rules, her clients treat her with respect, she makes her own money using her skills, she should be proud, blah blah". And it's some of our own clients who struggle the most with the odd dichotomy of it all.

(Oh, and Mellow - I do think you have the particular sort of guy there who has some serious additional issues like LouLou said, to do with guilt and maybe even issues forming 'normal' relationships in real life etc. It's a definite pain when those ones unload their emotional burdens on you during the booking - I personally do not feel at all qualified to provide counselling and wish those kinds of clients would see a slightly more appropriate professional. At least they are rare!)

He did say he sometimes felt disgusted with himself for seeing escorts so obviously hes got issues there (along with a string of problems to do with alcohol, drugs, gambling and god knows what else!)

God Mellow, I have DEFINITELY met this man!!!! Did he also tell you whilst basking in his post-coital glow that the whole situation was ridiculous, and weren't you both just desperately lonely, and that you "should both be ashamed of yourselves"?! Headdesk 

These types of clients really don't process what they are saying, I don't think. One of the skills I am most proud of that I have honed during this job has been learning to hear comments like this, and in response plastering a dopey, barbie-doll like smile on my face when in my head I'm are rolling my eyes/letting out a squawk of laughter in disbelief/smacking them one round the back of the head.

Having challenged comments like this in the past, I have learned to apply the above if in doubt!

I've only had one or two other guys say something along the same lines as this. As far as this guy goes I think you are all right..... the problem is with him.  He wanted to know if I had long term plans to be something other than a WG.  I think he should sort his own life out first from the sound of it! He also mentioned problems with committment........
And yes I probably should have let what he said go over my head!

I couldn't get him out of the door for ages either (I've got pretty good at getting clients to keep to time too) I had to literally say 'I'm going to have to kick you out now'

Oh one last thing he tried inviting me out for a drink afterwards.........funnily enough I said no!

"You are better than this......"
Ha!
I don't have to pay for dates, sweety. (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-basic/wink.gif)

Ha! Oh yes he was one of those who insisted he didnt HAVE to pay for sex....so obviously theres hundreds of girlies waiting in the wings!

It is offensive, but they don't realise it  I happen to see my job as a highly intellectual venture, and it allows time for me to indulge in other things I enjoy. Some clients cannot fathom that we enjoy it. They truly cannot get their heads around it, and it irrites me. I also hate men who say they are digusted with themselves for seeing escorts. It's exceptionally bloody rude, and sometimes I just want to say - 'well darlin', I'm pretty disgusted that I had to sleep with a lowlife like you.'    Think before you speak!!

Yes like LadyJ says- guys don't seem to get that something you may have started to do for economic reasons can also be very enjoyable as well as a means to an end.

And why do guys think that because we do it for financial gain, obviously we want to do it for free by dating someone as lovely as Coty's client!