SAAFE forum
General Category => Blather and Babble => Topic started by: Kendra on 23 June 2016, 10:21:38 am
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Is it just me or does anyone else get this?.....
So as most of you who know me will know that I've always been very selective about who I meet with and there are lots of reasons for this not that we should need a reason to be honest.
End of the day, I'm inviting complete strangers into my own home (I live and work from home), compete strangers who I'm offering a very intimate and personal service to and the simple fact that one always has to keep in mind just how dodgy and dangerous this job can be.
So when people phone me up speaking to me in a very crude manner or ask me for things I don't do or phone me throughout the nite etc and I avoid their calls or refuse to see them.....I often get told that I'm up my own arse at best, other times is pure abuse and occasionally I get some really nasty threats.
My response is always.....well if me being selective about which stranger I invite into my home to have sex with me makes me up my own arse then fine, I'm up my own arse.
Any client out there who is a normal and decent person that's actually met will tell you that I'm the least up my own arse person EVER. I have insecurities just like the next person and I am a good person.
It just annoys me when people make judgements on me when my judgment and decisions are based on their idiotic, thoughtless, rude or offensive behaviour.
As an escort trying to make a living, it's not in my best interest to turn work away so if I'm turning it away then there is reason for it.
Why am I up my own arse for only wanting to meet with decent and normal sounding human beings?
There's always 1 bad client that manages to slip through the net who makes for an uncomfortable meeting but I do try my best to avoid this from happening in order to be happy in myself and my job.
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It's not about being selective, it's your screening end of and you don't have to explain yourself to anyone.
I used to 'explain' myself etc and found it was the most frustrating ever, so no longer do it.
If someone shouts or talks over me I'll tell them that I'm feeling shouted at/talked over. If they continue I end the call and that's it. No excuses required, NEXT!
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It's not about being selective, it's your screening end of and you don't have to explain yourself to anyone.
I used to 'explain' myself etc and found it was the most frustrating ever, so no longer do it.
If someone shouts or talks over me I'll tell them that I'm feeling shouted at/talked over. If they continue I end the call and that's it. No excuses required, NEXT!
Yeah that's my problem, I try to give an explanation for everything but you really can't argue with ignorance xx
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Don't waste your time and mental energy reasoning with them. And don't explain why you won't see them. Just say that you're all booked up. Or perhaps very sweetly say "I'm sorry... I don't think I would give you the service you're looking for, but I hope you find someone else to play with!" Be sweet, be firm, be quick. Get off the phone, block the number and ignore them if they try to get through to you again.
I very rarely have a problem with this. They generally go call somebody else.
Explaining in great detail why they haven't met your high criteria will only make them feel insulted. Better to go with a sweet and apologetic version of "it's not you, it's me."
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Don't waste your time and mental energy reasoning with them. And don't explain why you won't see them. Just say that you're all booked up. Or perhaps very sweetly say "I'm sorry... I don't think I would give you the service you're looking for, but I hope you find someone else to play with!" Be sweet, be firm, be quick. Get off the phone, block the number and ignore them if they try to get through to you again.
I very rarely have a problem with this. They generally go call somebody else.
Explaining in great detail why they haven't met your high criteria will only make them feel insulted. Better to go with a sweet and apologetic version of "it's not you, it's me."
I do always try to tell them politely but firm that I'm not the right choice for them and that I hope they can find someone else they like. It's the persistent ones that are a pain in the ass.
xx
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I would go with Fabulassie's response too, or something similar. To not only survive but survive with sanity in this job you have to have standards. Men out there may wonder how we can have "standards" when we are mere prossies but that just shows their selfishness. They assume we take on all sorts and are so hardened we can take on anyone because we must be cold and calculated etc.
Not so in my case. Re the men who interrupt and talk over you on the phone, I tell them in a second, "you are interrupting" but I say it in a way that need not spoil the conversation. I have dealt with all kinds of people in my previous careers and think I can handle most types whether verbally or in person.
Like Kendra I am happy up my own arse if that is keeping me from going insane.
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You gotta master the friendly but firm tone and get off the phone. Don't let them reply... And just repeat yourself if necessary and thank them for calling. " I don't think I'm right for you, I hope you find someone better. Thanks so much for calling! " "no, no really I want to see you!" "Aw that's very sweet but really, I'd hate for you to waste your money. Best to call someone else. Goodbye, sweetie. "
Then put the phone down and block.
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I'm very selective too for the same reasons. It's your business, so you have every right to refuse bookings. :-*
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I am pretty good at ending calls politely, no messing. ;D
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In the end your gut feeling is all you really have to go on and if somebody rubs you the wrong way you shouldn't see them. I always think if they are like that on the phone what are they like in person? It's not like you're doing it for no reason and if you were you'd be hurting your own business since you need paying customers or it's not worth doing. I'm very much the same if somebody is doing something that bothers me they aren't getting a booking. I'm a reasonable girl but if somebody is rude or disrespectful I'm not going to play games. Sometimes they slip through the net but my gut feeling has served me well.
There are girls out there with big egos and attitude problems you can usually see it just from their profiles but I don't think turning down clients who don't have any manners makes you one of them.
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Oh I got called a crank because I eventually lost it with a bloke who kept ringing and texting asking me for a booking.I was ignoring him as he had no showed me before and he had a crap attitude anyway.He denied messing me about when I told him to stop bugging me and laughed and said it was a long time ago and he was nervous,I then got called a crank because I wouldn't give him another chance. ::)
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Oh I got called a crank because I eventually lost it with a bloke who kept ringing and texting asking me for a booking.I was ignoring him as he had no showed me before and he had a crap attitude anyway.He denied messing me about when I told him to stop bugging me and laughed and said it was a long time ago and he was nervous,I then got called a crank because I wouldn't give him another chance. ::)
That's funny, I had someone recently try persistently to book me and when I eventually said no because you didn't show up the last time, he turned round and said that was a long time ago as if it didn't even happen. How rude x
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I'd say it boils down to men not being able to comprehend the idea of being turned down by a prossie...
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I'd say it boils down to men not being able to comprehend the idea of being turned down by a prossie...
Agreed they think as we are whores we have no standards and if they are willing to pay then we will see whoever and do whatever for the money.Must be a real kick to the bollocks when even we reject them!
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I am exactly the same. I live and work from home so have to be selective especially when I had a regular client in the past who somehow got into the building and came knocking on my door after I had blocked him for crossing the boundaries. I always go with my gut when screening as I hate having a stranger in my home making me feel uncomfortable or threatened.
If I don't like the sound of someone, the way they come across or just have a gut feeling I will straight up tell them "sorry I don't feel comfortable seeing you". A gentleman will understand this and not pester, but those who pester are just insecure and can't take no for an answer let alone respect my decision. So they start abusing and swearing-my gut is right when they behave like that, all the more reason not to see them. Trying to justify my reasons to them only pisses them off more, more pestering, more abuse etc. Best thing to do is just ignore them, they usually go away.
If they behave like that the. They're probably not the type of clients who I wish to see in the first place. This way the ones who I do see, I am able to mentally be with them, feel comfortable, be able to do my job without hesitation and actually enjoy it. Always stand your ground.
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I get this all the time! Along with "You think you're so special" "You think you're so hot!"
Being me I actually answer yes to all these statements and then point out that they're the ones trying to book me::). (I don't think this really and my profile is like 3 lines long and I don't even talk about my looks funnily enough)
I think a lot of it is sort of a lack of self awareness and sort of their way of dealing with rejection. Their view of themselves in their head is that they are lovely, polite, amazing, "NICE" men so if you're rejecting them it obviously must be you and not them!
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I'd say it boils down to men not being able to comprehend the idea of being turned down by a prossie...
;D ;D I love it!!! We dislike idiots, plain and simple.
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I think the more you say "no", the more they see it as a challenge to get you to say "yes", I think it's best just to ignore.
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If I was actually working from my home I wouldn't see half the guys I entertain now. I'm quite lucky that I get a lot of professionals but the odd flinch inducer passes through on a weekly basis. Guy on the phone yesterday sounded very polite etc he turns up with rotten teeth, a head shaped like a Zika virus victim & is a bin man :o I was too polite to send him away so it was a very standoffish affair on my part with intimacy. He was a nice guy but couldn't get it up so it was mostly massage, phew. Would be a difficult one to explain to the neighbours if working from home.
Embrace your high standards, saves psychological torment in the long run.
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I don't care what they look like though as long as they're respectful and clean. The rotting teeth would have meant kissing was off the menu though xx
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Would be a difficult one to explain to the neighbours if working from home.
Embrace your high standards, saves psychological torment in the long run.
I agree. There is nothing wrong to say, "you are selective". Being selective does not directly mean "you are some kind of snob" which is a very jaded and negative way of looking at it. ("some" punters are negative and jaded, mind) Some are really nice.
Decent men will understand that you got to be. I had indiscreet ones who walked all over me in my earlier when my price wasn't right (way too cheap).
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Bottom line is, even if you are up your own arse ... It's your business so it's your rules!
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;D ;D Essentially. You cannot please everybody. You can't kiss everybody's asses all the time. Just say, "tough luck, mate" and put the phone down. :D
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I just had someone phone me there for a booking later today, he sounded like he was making an appointment to have himself put down rather than booking an escort. He asked where I was and I gave him the postcode and told him that I would be in touch closer to the time (not last minute, closer to the time....there's a difference), he paused and then disputed saying he has to plan his journey which I can understand but I already gave him the postcode. Anyway I put the phone down, didn't like the sound of him at all. Gut feeling that at the very best, it would have been a very awkward booking.
The feeling I get after a bad booking or someone I didn't click with in the slightest isn't worth the money to me.
I much prefer to be buzzing and happy with the money I've just made after entertaining a nice man regardless of what he looks like.
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And there's no doubt in my mind that he'll think I have a bad attitude.
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Well, Kendra. We / I have one of these men. He got the postcode (that's generous). I wouldn't have given mine at all full stop. He was still acting like a toddler despite that. You can't kiss asses of these miserable arrogant people, who would simply expect you to beg fo their custom!! ! Tell him that you are not a therapist and you can't help him. You can't be nice to these people who aren't nice to you. This is a two-way game. I don't accept bookings from men who are completely arrogant expect me to kiss their asses and beg for their money. Nobody is more important than yourself. Your approach is absolutely correct. Rely on your gut instinct.
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I saw a client a couple of times, in my early days. He used to text and talk about his problems. anyway, he had been turned down by a couple of women so decided he wanted me to cheer him up. I told him i wasnt available. His response was ' even a whore turns me down'
There are guys that find being turned down by a 'whore' very humilating i guess