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Author Topic: Yo gayers!  (Read 9151 times)

shiftytardarse

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Yo gayers!
« on: 28 March 2009, 11:03:25 pm »
Yes I know you rentboys are not all really gay-but I need the advice of gay men only (not the pretend ones)

 I know i've been out of order with what I am about to divulge so you are free to tell me off, without risk of me flouncing but I need advice too.

My wee brother, who i'll call Kev is 16 and has just decided to tell us all that he's gay. I guessed a few years ago but it's come as a shock to the parents who are trying desperately to be cool with it (in their sad Guardian readers way). So last month I was home and my father starts telling me that Kev has a 'special friend' who keeps calling for him. Dad tells me that he is worried about this friend as he (dad) knows nothing about the friend  as Kev is being very secretive and disapearing without telling them where he is going (probably to have bumsex, but that's beside the point).

Whilst at home I pick up the phone and it's Kevs 'special friend' asking for Kev-only issue is this friend (called James) doesn't really sound 16, in fact he sounds much older. I share my concerns with Dad who asks me to look into it. So.....I 'access' his hotmail, his Bebo and his facebook without his knowledge (yeah I know bad) and take the details of 'James' do a bit of research and yes he's 16 too-and thank fuck not a peadophile. Little bruv does not know anything about this betrayal. Whilst in the process of doing this I find messages and other 'friends' that Kev is in contact with who are certainly not age appropriate. I also discover that Kev is planning on taking trips to various gay pubs and clubs.

Now, not to put a finer point on it, this has horrified me beyond belief as he's my LITTLE BROTHER AND HE'S STILL A BABY AT 16. I am scared stiff of him going out on the gay scene as I remember going out on the scene at 18 with my gay mate and it being really aggressive and no place for a boy of 16.

Last night I phoned my old school friend who I went with to gayclubs and asked him what he thought of it. He basically told me that I was worrying about nothing and I was being prejudiced and overprotective. But can you understand what i'm saying? Surely 16 is too young? I also discovered last night that's he's split up with James so he hasnt even got a little jolly bumchum to look out for him.

In conclusion (God this is boring and TMI i'm sure), the question i'm actually asking is If you had a son or little brother, would you feel ok about him going out on the scene at that age??. Am I being prejudiced?? as bearing in mind if he had told me he was going to straight clubs to pick up chicks I would not be so worried. I am frightened that some horrible old man is going to push him into things. Am I being prejudiced? Am I out of order? How would you feel?
« Last Edit: 28 March 2009, 11:05:11 pm by shiftytardarse »

anonymoussw

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Re: Yo gayers!
« Reply #1 on: 29 March 2009, 12:18:17 am »
Quote
Yes I know you rentboys are not all really gay
Really? I would consider paying if I knew a renter that was straight - I have always wanted to shag a straight boy...

Let me just say first of all that I first started going out on the scene when I was 16 (I am now nearly 25). I had just come out of the closet, and it was the first experience of "gay culture" I had ever had, and for me then it was something special. Growing up in a world where there nobody was like me in a certain fundamental way and then finally finding this haven where everybody was like me was a turning point in my life. The thing you have to understand is that for the majority of straight teenagers, the secondary school years are when they get to experience the world of relationships and even sex for the first time. Gay teenagers, even if they have faced their demons in terms of working out who they are tend to be the onlookers in school unless they are very lucky. Finally discovering a side to life that all your friends have been experiencing for the last six years is MAJOR, so much as I can understand that you are worried, I would say also that you are more than likely not going to be able to keep him away from it, and he will only resent you if you try.

I was wondering what exactly you meant by
Quote
really aggressive and no place for a boy of 16
Gay scenes in general are amongst other things bitchy, campy, highly sexualised and drug culture influenced. What they are not generally is aggressive, at least where my reading of the word aggressive is concerned. I would also add they are generally far safer places to be than straight clubs, because if you piss someone off the most they are likely to do is make a scornful comment about the brand of shoes you are wearing, as opposed to actually attacking you. Ok, I am being glib, but you get the idea.

Quote
I am frightened that some horrible old man is going to push him into things.
Leaving the house carries with it it's inherent risks, even when going to straight environments. He could go to a straight club, get involved in a fight and end up injured. Yes, the gay scene carries it's fair share of dangerous people  (and I would like to say that they are few and far between), but I assure you, manifested in different ways, they exist in every walk of life. Besides, never underestimate the almost superhuman ability of twinky little queens to completely ignore anyone over the age of 30 or so. Agism is rife on the scene, I really shouldn't worry about it.

In conclusion, let him go because he's only going to anyway; it's a rite of passage for him...
« Last Edit: 29 March 2009, 11:07:19 am by bennyboywonder »
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!
"if" - Rudyard Kipling

lexienight

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Re: Yo gayers!
« Reply #2 on: 29 March 2009, 02:40:05 am »
it's a rite of passage for him...

such an unfortunate phrase but so true. 

I have a relative who was pretty much like the kid on Ugly Betty but somehow i was the only one in the family to spot that he was gay from a young age.  He was total cliche, would rather sit and flick through my copies of Vogue than my ex-boyfriends copies of boy mags with cars and tits bless him.  he came out to me at 16 (hes 20 now) and asked how the rest of the family would take it.  i pointed out that they HAD met him so it would be dumb if they hadnt noticed (bless, he did over camp it like he was the only gay in the village for a while).  Anyway, it was when he was 16 that he started to go to clubs and hang out with other gay guys.  I worried at first that he would get swept away with the whole thing so gave him the big condom lecture (he blushed alot and did that 'Ewwww' teenage face alot and told me to shut up).  My main worry was that he wouldn't find friends of his own age and get taken in by older men who liked the young lad thing.  Stupid now that i think back on it.  He made lots of friends of his own age (and didnt shag em all) and his 'only gay in the village' attitude was gone pretty quick and now he is comfortable in his own skin and happy with who he is because he doesnt have to pretend.  I'm glad he came out young, I would of hated seeing him hide it till he was 18/19/20. 

Straight or gay, 16year old boys want to be sexually active so make sure he is aware of the facts and let him loose.  I bet he is more responsible at 16 than he will be at 26/36/46 lol  !!!!

anonymoussw

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Re: Yo gayers!
« Reply #3 on: 29 March 2009, 11:03:16 am »
(bless, he did over camp it like he was the only gay in the village for a while)
Yeah I did that when I was 16/17  :-[ - a lot of gay guys do :P I have gotten over it now though.

Quote
Straight or gay, 16year old boys want to be sexually active so make sure he is aware of the facts and let him loose.
Couldn't have put it better myself. When I was younger my mum used to deal with it by leaving bags of condoms on my bed while I was out (huge packs as well - goodness knows what sort of super-stud she thought I was ;))
« Last Edit: 29 March 2009, 11:10:04 am by bennyboywonder »
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!
"if" - Rudyard Kipling

shiftytardarse

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Re: Yo gayers!
« Reply #4 on: 29 March 2009, 10:41:10 pm »
Quote
Yes I know you rentboys are not all really gay
Really? I would consider paying if I knew a renter that was straight - I have always wanted to shag a straight boy...

Have you considered paying a visit to your local chemist between 9-11am (methadone handout time) There's a lot of straight rentboys about then  :-\

Let me just say first of all that I first started going out on the scene when I was 16 (I am now nearly 25). I had just come out of the closet, and it was the first experience of "gay culture" I had ever had, and for me then it was something special. Growing up in a world where there nobody was like me in a certain fundamental way and then finally finding this haven where everybody was like me was a turning point in my life. The thing you have to understand is that for the majority of straight teenagers, the secondary school years are when they get to experience the world of relationships and even sex for the first time. Gay teenagers, even if they have faced their demons in terms of working out who they are tend to be the onlookers in school unless they are very lucky. Finally discovering a side to life that all your friends have been experiencing for the last six years is MAJOR, so much as I can understand that you are worried, I would say also that you are more than likely not going to be able to keep him away from it, and he will only resent you if you try.

Cest vrai, some good points. He's quite a quiet boy-prone to too much static role-play and other nerdish persuits. Be interesting to see if he suddenly takes a liking to Shirely Bassey, talking in a faux Beverley Hills squeek and saying "oooh get her" a lot. Fuck I hope not. You've got to bear in mind that this lad is from a different generation from you and I. He told his school friends when he was 14 and two of them were out already. I'm not sure if it will come as such a 'shock'/liberation these days.



I was wondering what exactly you meant by
Quote
really aggressive and no place for a boy of 16

Sorry, it was messy typing on my part. I meant sexually aggressive & preditory. He looks pretty and twinky. I'm worried he'll be like blood in a shark tank. I don't know Benny, I don't understand what it's like to be male and gay. Plus i'm pushing 30 these days-maybe i'm a bit prudish. He's still my baby though and I don't want some horrible man messing with him and hurting his heart


Leaving the house carries with it it's inherent risks, even when going to straight environments. He could go to a straight club, get involved in a fight and end up injured. Yes, the gay scene carries it's fair share of dangerous people  (and I would like to say that they are few and far between), but I assure you, manifested in different ways, they exist in every walk of life. Besides, never underestimate the almost superhuman ability of twinky little queens to completely ignore anyone over the age of 30 or so. Agism is rife on the scene, I really shouldn't worry about it.

True. I have to ask myself whether this is actually a gender thing. I know if he was my 16yr old little sister i'd be horrified at 'her' going into that sort of environment where it's just a pick-up meat-fest. Maybe it's different for boys?-you tell me

anonymoussw

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Re: Yo gayers!
« Reply #5 on: 30 March 2009, 12:06:17 am »
Quote
Cest vrai, some good points. He's quite a quiet boy-prone to too much static role-play and other nerdish persuits. Be interesting to see if he suddenly takes a liking to Shirely Bassey, talking in a faux Beverley Hills squeek and saying "oooh get her" a lot. Fuck I hope not. You've got to bear in mind that this lad is from a different generation from you and I. He told his school friends when he was 14 and two of them were out already. I'm not sure if it will come as such a 'shock'/liberation these days.
That is a fair point. I would still maintain that the scene is a massive thing for any gay teenager. He may have a few gay freinds, but more than likely that'll become a fringe group. The difference that is so overwhelming when you are young is going somewhere where your peculiarity is mainstream

Quote
True. I have to ask myself whether this is actually a gender thing. I know if he was my 16yr old little sister i'd be horrified at 'her' going into that sort of environment where it's just a pick-up meat-fest. Maybe it's different for boys?-you tell me
Guys are horny as dogs. As a (prior?) escort you know this better than most. This more than likely applies to kev as much as anybody else. I think he is quite likely going to be spending far too much time doing rude stuff he does want to do, to have time to pushed into anything he doesn't want to do.

And as for
Quote
I don't want some horrible man messing with him and hurting his heart
Having your heart broken is part of growing up. It may well happen, and as applies more generally to a lot of these risks, the most you can do is support him, give him good advice, and be there to pick up the pieces when it does happen.

I don't think you are out of order for worrying,  we can't and shouldn't penalise you for what goes on inside your head after all, it only shows that you are a kind person who cares about their family. At the end of the day though, he has to be allowed to make his own mistakes.
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!
"if" - Rudyard Kipling

UrbaneAspects

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Re: Yo gayers!
« Reply #6 on: 30 March 2009, 03:21:24 am »
I am frightened that some horrible old man is going to push him into things. Am I being prejudiced? Am I out of order? How would you feel?[/b]

nah. Unlikely. He should be fine. The only thing I'd worry about with him at this age in the scene (like I did) is that you end up going through more drama than anything which can wreck havoc on school and personal life. But, in the same sense since he's entering so early he will be able to grow up sooner so that by 25 he's not acting like a 20 year old (like many of them do  :(

And 16? Isnt that underage? How would he even be getting into the nightclubs? Also, I'd be more worried about alchohol poisining or drug overdose or contracting HIV than anything. Thats some of the biggest hazards for the gay community and Im thankful I havent fallen victim to neither one (although I have had a couple close calls with alchohol poisoning and HIV scares)

If anything you need to educate him on the risks and dangers but unfortunently experience counts the most.

He looks pretty and twinky. I'm worried he'll be like blood in a shark tank. I don't know Benny, I don't understand what it's like to be male and gay. Plus i'm pushing 30 these days-maybe i'm a bit prudish. He's still my baby though and I don't want some horrible man messing with him and hurting his heart

I understand your concern, but no need to baby him. You sound over-protective and overly scared which is understandable however, just because he's your brother doesnt warrant you the right to shelter him. Its his life, and sooner or later he's going to have to deal with reality. I did. I was sheltered alot also, but I managed to sneak out the back window every Saturday night and hop a taxi to the nightclubs...and be home by Sunday morning! Sheltering is just going to make him more defiant and more restless. Dont do more harm than good. Protect him from the above hazards if you must, but dont shelter him.
« Last Edit: 30 March 2009, 03:26:54 am by JoeyR »

anonymoussw

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Re: Yo gayers!
« Reply #7 on: 30 March 2009, 10:05:29 am »
Quote
And 16? Isnt that underage? How would he even be getting into the nightclubs?
It is, but not by much. The age of consent is 16, and drinking age is 18. Gay clubs in the UK often have pretty lax door policies when it comes to age...
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!
"if" - Rudyard Kipling

UrbaneAspects

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Re: Yo gayers!
« Reply #8 on: 30 March 2009, 10:08:56 am »
It is, but not by much. The age of consent is 16, and drinking age is 18. Gay clubs in the UK often have pretty lax door policies when it comes to age...

well I'll be darn...16? 18? What the fuck is wrong with America fucking bastards sheltered us all these years! Here, its 18 consent, 21 to drink. And some places, men have to be 25 to get into the better clubs.

But then again, I wouldnt trust these psychos to be driving AND legal to drink at 18. Too risky

anonymoussw

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Re: Yo gayers!
« Reply #9 on: 30 March 2009, 10:10:50 am »
Come over here then!
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!
"if" - Rudyard Kipling

UrbaneAspects

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Re: Yo gayers!
« Reply #10 on: 30 March 2009, 10:14:16 am »
Come over here then!

Im already legal...but since you asked  :-[

I have thought recently of coming to the UK, if I just find the states no longer suitable. but I just wouldnt know how to go about it. The photographer who took the photo on my avatar had left to Europe a week after the photo after living in the states for awhile.

shiftytardarse

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Re: Yo gayers!
« Reply #11 on: 30 March 2009, 05:54:29 pm »
Cheers Benny/Joey, you have reassured me to an extent. Yes 16 is illegal here to be drinking and getting into clubs-but I was doing the same at that age, and we've got quite a sensible approach to drinking in our family where he would have been used to having watered down wine at the dinner table for the past few years. His liklihood of going out on a booze rampage is slimmer than most.

Thanks for responding x

anonymoussw

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Re: Yo gayers!
« Reply #12 on: 30 March 2009, 06:14:01 pm »
No problem, glad I could help - it's nice to be on the giving end of advice for a change...
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!
"if" - Rudyard Kipling

UrbaneAspects

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Re: Yo gayers!
« Reply #13 on: 30 March 2009, 07:02:26 pm »
I just still confused shift....are you a guy or a woman?

shiftytardarse

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Re: Yo gayers!
« Reply #14 on: 30 March 2009, 09:03:35 pm »
I just still confused shift....are you a guy or a woman?

 OMG! I can't believe you are forcing me to conform to your culturally dictated male/female binaric tyranny. Here is a picture of me from my old whoring website. As you can see I am fucking hot, that's all you really need to know.

(http://haecdies.com/images/Brunhilda.jpg)