No, I don't think it's unreasonable, but it may be optimistic.

How much have you lied? Have you tried the 'did you see the story about (something positive around escorting)?' approach?

If he's going to know, it's better that he hears it from you rather than some other way.

Hi Holly

I can only speak from my own experience sooooooooooo here goes gal - I was with a guy on and off for 31/2 yrs. I started escorting last March because we had split and I was in a financial situation that meant I HAD to get some money fast (I had a housemate who was male and my partner wasnt happy so I had to let housemate go so the bills piled up and I had no money to pay them!)

We started seeing eachother again last August, he asked me to marry him, we set a date, went to registry office - booked it all- then he found out what I had done (I hadnt worked when he was around and he works in Iraq - so had worked whist he was away) - he found my profile on my laptop (aw had lost my profile last June so I had to re-write it all, so I copied it to word. When we got back together I saved all my pics and profile on a dongle and hid it, deleted it all from laptop, problem sorted, so I thought!) I hadnt deleted it all! He went mooching (no idea why!) and found my profile. He was sooooooooo shocked, shaking and went white. I thought he would go there and then - he didnt - he said we'd see it through and I had reassurred him I hadnt worked since we'd been back together (He thought I'd been doing other work). We had been and picked a ring out and he had left a deposit on it, prior to finding out. After he discovered what Id been doing, he went and picked the ring up, paid in full for it (?5,000!!!!) and all was ok! We went to Rome, where he was going to officially 'propose'. I had the worst 4 days of my entire life! For one reason or another he didnt propose! We talked some more whilst there and he had said that the date we had booked for the marraige was the most important day of his life etc etc - he still wanted to get married - anyway we got back, the day we travelled back we didnt speak at all (dont ask me why, I have no idea!) The atmosphere was horrendous. Once back he went to bed I slept on the sofa, floowing day he left taking all his belongings with him, saying he couldnt handle what Id done etc etc etc. That was that!

Sooooooooo.......... from my experience I wouldnt tell him! In retrospect I wish Id denied it - said Id thought about it and made a profile but couldnt go through with it etc!

Thats my experience and from what he said d uring many heart to hearts - that I should've told him before we got back together then he would have had a choice in it all - seeing as your partner doesnt know already he MAY think hes already been decieved as you havent already told him. I dont know - everyone's different, he may accept it all and you may ride off into the sunset together - as I said this is what happened to me - very recently (November we ended) so I can only say my story and how I would deal with it given the same set of circumstances. At the end of the day its down to you I guess!

All I can say is good luck hun, and do whats right for you!

Sapphire xx

I would tell him. Either, he will accept it and will be fine with it or he will not like it and you can stay friends. Living a double/triple live can be very hard and tiresome, you will have to hide everything,watch out for your laptop, cell phone and wardrobe and really at the end you don't have any control of it cause things like a  friend  of him can see you online/book you, a client of you might be his friend etc. If later he will think of you as his future wife you will lose his time too.

Don't tell him and carry on working can end up as a disaster! Quting work that you like to do can be very depressing. Lying is not possible if you want ti get to know the person and him you as well. Well, for me still the best thing is to be honest.
And come on! He is not last man on planet isn't he ?

I wouldn't have a partner without telling them first, this does mean I chose my partner carefully though because I want to be pretty sure they are going to be ok with it.

Im with Strawberry on this one.  I don't believe it can last long without him finding out/something happening with him finding out.

There is also the side - what will he say/do WHEN HE DOES FIND OUT - does he keep it to himself or go around blabbing to anyone who will listen.

If it was me, and it wouldnt be, but I would rather either finish escorting (if that is an option) with the hope that the relationship does last and he NEVER finds out (what happens if you get tiddly one night and blab it all out yourself) or I would finish the relationship before I got in too deep.

I think it is very naive to think a relationship can continue without him getting suspicious re something that continually happens like you constantly disappearing or like said above his friends call - and recognise your voice - or worse than that turn up for a booking and recognise you.

Good luck with your choice. 

I didn't tell my partner at first.  I rarely talked about my life and just didn't see him on days I was working.

I also didn't invite him over to my flat which set his alarm bells ringing.

Of course he wasn't an idiot and eventually decided that I must be hiding something.  The fact that I was always at his house when we spent time together, never seemed to work and yet insisted I had a job made him eventually decide to talk to me.

But not before insisting I invite him over to my flat.

So I invited him over.  Despite being obtuse every time my occupation came up I wasn't trying to hide it from him, I wasn't lying and I guess in some ways I was hoping he would guess.

When he finally asked me we had a bit of drama.  He see-sawed between wanting to break up with me to insisting I give up for him.  It was a bit messy, but not as messy as my friend who outright lied to her brand new boyfriend, only for him to discover her aw profile on her computer.  That was far messier.  At least my boyfriend had the choice. 

I believe my friend is still with her boyfriend and I married mine, so ultimately it's all about the boy.  Does he love you?  In which case he'll want to stay long enough to try to work it through. 

Hey Holly,
I can tell you now many people can advise you on what to do but only you knows best on how t handle it.
last year i went through a similar thing met my bf, i was escorting before i met him. I thought it would just be a bit of fun, but oh no i fell in love.
He works shift work so gets home late and lies in usually till late morning 11ish i had a driving lesson left my work phone downstairs switched off-n hidden in a drawer!
I went out had my driving lesson n came home , he was upstairs very quiet. I asked him wha was wrong n he asked me why was a guy asking fir a girl called blahbblah n why he wanted to pay me ?150 for an hour!

I was in the middle of trying to blag it, when he said iv seen the website, n your ratings i was horrified 6months i thought i had gotten away with it. He had become suspicious cos i have 2 phones and  was careful with my laptop.Also visiting my friend lol hadnt rung true with him. well i was touring oopsy.
He thought i was cheating on him, thing is after i sat him down n explained to him n he calmed down. I gave him the choice to stay or go. Im still with him to start with it was hard him knowing weird not having to sneak around and lie. A big load off my shoulders in some respects, but was difficult at t beginning we would have a row n he would bring what i do up, which stung a bit. But i didnt put up with that for long, and he realised what he was doing.
IF i could have done things diff i would never have lied!
It has brought us closer together, and if its a bad week he supports me and if i have reached my target n over i treat him to something nice he does work and doesnt sponge of me i have to add lol. I just like to treat him, probably cos at times i feel guilty lol. Im just imaging us both sat in our nice big house n its all worth it xx Hope this helps mwah x

Oh yeh we are now saving to buy a house together!