SAAFE forum
General Category => Blather and Babble => Topic started by: northernstar on 16 October 2020, 06:33:11 am
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If you wouldn’t or if you have done, why?
Also why not?
;D
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I did once many years ago. I wouldn’t say that was a mistake because although worried, I was happy to do it because I had fallen for him. What was a mistake was choosing to give something up for someone who was otherwise okay with it at the beginning. From my experience they become nasty pieces of work who will use your past against you and as a way to control you and put you down. I wouldn’t do it again. I would if I chose to with no prompting or asking or ultimatums. But otherwise if they are okay with it at the beginning then it’s unfair for them to change their minds. With the trajectory I was on at the time I would now almost be completely retired, but instead I’m now considering starting again and it’s the middle of a pandemic so I’m going to assume everything is very tight right now :FF
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Yes but not worth it.
Just got to find a decent one that can handle it. They're rare but so worth the wait!
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Yes but not worth it.
Just got to find a decent one that can handle it. They're rare but so worth the wait!
Mine could handle it (after some ego struggle) but was otherwise shady himself which to me is disloyalty. I didn’t stop working but felt like a total mug having come clean with him and he lied about massive things (kid) and getting it from me for free instead of being charged. Felt like he didn’t keep his end of the deal and wasn’t as transparent as I was. Had to dump.
Might have to send an invoice ;D
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No unless my life was made easier financially from him otherwise what is the point.
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I’m considering this at the moment.
Have met someone who doesn’t know what I do (have a civvie job full time) and it’s easy for me to fit in clients during the times I don’t see new guy.
I started just in May while I was single as a way to earn extra cash and fulfil some of my needs (sex, compliments etc). Now I get those things from new guy, it has made the escorting feel much more transactional and I have less motivation. I’m in the process of selling my flat and trying to buy another so financially I have a goal to save as much as possible to have enough £s for the new place but pretty sure once that’s done, I’ll be hanging up the suspenders (assuming things stay good with new guy - been 2 months).
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If I was head over heels in love yes! Love is way more important than cash and you will always regret the chances you didn’t take with the man more than you will regret not making that extra cash!
Love is so much more valuable than money my love.
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I had a boyfriend a few years back who wanted me to quit but I said no and that was the end of that as he made me choose, him or the job.
I've just started seeing someone and was upfront about my job as I thought it best otherwise the longer you leave it the harder it would be to tell later.
Luckily he seems okay with it time will tell. The unknown for me is how I deal with my clients pleasuring me and not feeling guilty about it.
This is my first boyfriend whilst being an escort so a new experience for me.
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You should never quit for any man. Quit for YOU, if you feel like your current circumstances - including your choice of partner - merits it. But never ever quit FOR a man x
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If I was head over heels in love yes! Love is way more important than cash and you will always regret the chances you didn’t take with the man more than you will regret not making that extra cash!
God, definitely. It's only a bloody job :)
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If I was head over heels in love yes! Love is way more important than cash and you will always regret the chances you didn’t take with the man more than you will regret not making that extra cash!
Love is so much more valuable than money my love.
I definitely would if I was head over heels as long as he was not destitute and relying on me, I'd quit this in a heart beat and get a less weii paid civvie job to have a normal life.
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I definitely would if I was head over heels as long as he was not destitute and relying on me, I'd quit this in a heart beat and get a less weii paid civvie job to have a normal life.
So would I and it’s easy for other escorts to say “Oh would I hell give up for a man”, but when your actually in love then all your previous ‘deal breakers’, to an extent go out the window! lol.
I also totally get why a man wouldn’t want his beloved woman doing this job, I once was seeing a guy that was okay with my job, and secretly there was a part of me that wanted hmm to be not be okay with other men touching, kissing and caressing his woman! I think some of us can relate to that train of thought though!
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So would I and it’s easy for other escorts to say “Oh would I hell give up for a man”, but when your actually in love then all your previous ‘deal breakers’, to an extent go out the window! lol.
I also totally get why a man wouldn’t want his beloved woman doing this job, I once was seeing a guy that was okay with my job, and secretly there was a part of me that wanted hmm to be not be okay with other men touching, kissing and caressing his woman! I think some of us can relate to that train of thought though!
Love love love and you still gotta keep in mind the reality that very few men are able to provide us with what we are able to provide ourselves and it takes someone REALLY good to make us give up the benefits. And as we know, most of them get complacent eventually...
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As longs as he gives me about six hundred a day (or a 12 million pound lump sum upfront) - oh, and as long as he doesn't dump me for an escort that he only booked because I gave him the money (all of £200, say) - then yes, I'm in.
If not, he can fuck off.
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Ladies,
We are escorts , we have this “chance” to see how they cheat feeling no remorse . Some of my clients Take wedding rings off the moment they enter my place and put it back when they are about to leave.
Never give up a single thing in your life for a man.
None of them will appreciate that .
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You should never quit for any man. Quit for YOU, if you feel like your current circumstances - including your choice of partner - merits it. But never ever quit FOR a man x
I agree Nelly. That is very wise .
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No. I love myself first. I would never quit being who I am for a man. Any man worth quitting for wouldn't ever want me to quit for him anyway.
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Never for a man and love can blind you, I was in love and when the long marriage was over I was left with nothing, Didn't even know who I was anymore. Right now I have a guy that knows what I do, Ex client, Who wants to date. We get on and have a laugh but I've told him it's not going to happen. I don't want a partner to be happy that I've sucked 20 men a week off , These kind of guys are users and ex clients want to have great sex for free.Most men now are lazy, They want friends with benefits and can't be bothered to wine and dine a women because it will cost them time and money. Maybe it's my age but I don't believe in love, I want partnership and loyalty and I don't want a man living with me. I couldn't date a guy and lie about escorting because I'm very loyal in my personal life and relationships. But I don't think many men are loyal, Men never grow up they want to feel wanted sexually and most are cowards and won't end relationships. I don't dislike men I have loads of good Male friends I just find that they are very weak compared to women. I do miss loads from being in a relationship but not enough to seek one out, I often think about seeking out a sexy guy I want to seduce without any complications. Unfortunately I get mostly old guys as clients who are lovely but I've yet to have a hunk.
But no I will not give up escorting for a guy, I gave up a career to support my ex husband and in the end he walked away with a good salary and I was left with no savings, He use to give me a weekly allowance of £25 lol I was a cheap cleaning lady, Cook and childminder for him. Being independent is the best thing a woman can be I think.
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I will be retiring next month because I am moving abroad and getting married
Originally I pondered the idea of still working but just doing massage & happy ending but I would like to just leave my escorting life completely behind and start a new “normal” life where I don’t have to hide anything
It’s only tricky because of how much money I will be no longer earning
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I will be retiring next month because I am moving abroad and getting married
Originally I pondered the idea of still working but just doing massage & happy ending but I would like to just leave my escorting life completely behind and start a new “normal” life where I don’t have to hide anything
It’s only tricky because of how much money I will be no longer earning
Congrats, MWM! Does your fiance know you currently escort?
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No. I love myself first. I would never quit being who I am for a man. Any man worth quitting for wouldn't ever want me to quit for him anyway.
I seriously love this. I love this because it can be used for so many different aspects of someone's life. Self love is so important! And just loving yourself first. Super inspiring stuff! I think i needed to hear this as I was thinking of maybe giving escorting up for somebody but why?! It helps me financially, I enjoy my regulars and other than the tw it isn't so bad. Put myself first ;D
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My hooker pal says if a man doesn’t accept your job then he doesn’t accept you but I find that crap because being a hooker is just a job, it’s not a part of your personality!
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I wouldn't. Men tend to be unreliable don't they.
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I wouldn't. Men tend to be unreliable don't they.
Not all men and your still young so have all the time in the world to meet a man but I don’t, I want marriage eventually and if you were utterly in love and he said to you “it’s me or the money” then you’d pick him surely?!
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I will be retiring next month because I am moving abroad and getting married
Originally I pondered the idea of still working but just doing massage & happy ending but I would like to just leave my escorting life completely behind and start a new “normal” life where I don’t have to hide anything
It’s only tricky because of how much money I will be no longer earning
Congratulations
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I would never quit being who I am for a man.
Nobody is asking you to and that isn't what the thread's about, unless you define yourself completely by what you do for a living? The question was about changing jobs (and because you decide you've had enough and want to move on with a partner, not for any other reason).
very few men are able to provide us with what we are able to provide ourselves
Of course they're not, and I don't expect them to. Why would I?
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if you were utterly in love and he said to you “it’s me or the money” then you’d pick him surely?!
Nobody I was 'utterly in love' with would be that much of a controlling dick, so that wouldn't happen :).
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Nobody I was 'utterly in love' with would be that much of a controlling dick, so that wouldn't happen :).
I meant in general, not a specific person
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I'm sick of the narrative that sex workers are incapable/undeserving of being in long-term loving relationships. The amount of times clients have asked me about my personal life, for them to be totally dismayed when I tell them I'm happily engaged (don't ask then?!)
So no, I personally wouldn't quit FOR a man. There's too much money to be made.. I say find one secure enough to understand your work ethic or stay single ;D
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Or any close [romantic] relationship?
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I'm sick of the narrative that sex workers are incapable/undeserving of being in long-term loving relationships. The amount of times clients have asked me about my personal life, for them to be totally dismayed when I tell them I'm happily engaged (don't ask then?!)
So no, I personally wouldn't quit FOR a man. There's too much money to be made.. I say find one secure enough to understand your work ethic or stay single ;D
Hi, how does your fiancé cope? Has he accepted from the start or has it taken him time? Is there an ultimatum?
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I'm sick of the narrative that sex workers are incapable/undeserving of being in long-term loving relationships.
Oh well.... sex workers do it to themselves, they don't need the help of any "civvie narratives". I'm tired of reading on this forum the old adage of : "I would never date a man who accepts my job". Reminds me of that Groucho Marx quote: "I would never belong to a club that takes me as a member".
self sabotage, shoot in the foot etc.. You name it. They are the ones who believe that unless they leave hooking they don;t deserve to be loved. Sad.
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Yes I would quit for a man, but any man worth quitting for wouldn’t ask me to quit... if that makes sense?
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Yes I would quit for a man, but any man worth quitting for wouldn’t ask me to quit... if that makes sense?
Indeed. Has to be our decision.
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Of course they're not, and I don't expect them to. Why would I?
Of course they’re not going to ever match it. But they do need to provide us with a relationship great enough for us to forgo all the benefits. Plus possibly a decent living.
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Atm i would choose working over a man, I dont actually have the time to start something with a man anyway. I’m only free once or twice a week and I’d rather be earning money on them days rather than dating. I did get involved with a client and developed feelings for him but once he asked me to choose between working or seeing him one night, I chose to earn money.
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I did get involved with a client and developed feelings for him but once he asked me to choose between working or seeing him one night, I chose to earn money.
This is the hypocrisy of these men, I mean... he's a punter paying for sex but doesn't want a girlfriend charging for sex. So you're supposed to leave your job while he continues the "paying for sex" part, because of course he's entitled to have his cake and eat it too , however it's not ok for you to have your cake and eat it too, only him.
Madonna-whore complex at it's best ???
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I would only quit for me if I decided I no longer wanted to do the job (which was the same in my last job. Hated it and it was making me ill so I left).
A man doesn't feature in my life and if one should miraculously appear (literally) then he'll have to deal with me working away on tour for up to 3 months at a time and being home with my grown up children and my cats in-between.
If he really, really loved me he'd need to do a 'Pretty Woman' on me.
Right, back to reality!
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No. I love myself first. I would never quit being who I am for a man. Any man worth quitting for wouldn't ever want me to quit for him anyway.
Nobody is asking you to and that isn't what the thread's about, unless you define yourself completely by what you do for a living? The question was about changing jobs (and because you decide you've had enough and want to move on with a partner, not for any other reason).
There are many great traits that define me, my career is just one of them. But I fully recognise that one part of my present, past, and future is significant in the eyes of many men seeking a partner. No, I have not changed careers because of a man demanding I quit to move on with him. I wouldn't have found the right partner for me if I had.
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I’m currently single but I would quit in a heartbeat if I meet the right person
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No unless my life was made easier financially from him otherwise what is the point.
+1000!!
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Is he going to pay my bills?
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Is he going to pay my bills?
...plus your pension and your mortgage-redemption (oh and let him get you a few premium bonds too...)
I am being SERIOUS!!
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...plus your pension and your mortgage-redemption (oh and let him get you a few premium bonds too...)
I am being SERIOUS!!
I don't have a mortgage or indeed a pension, like many parents I intend to live off my ungrateful children, they owe me.
Either way, if my bills are being paid, I am quite open to quitting work, but would I give up THIS work to go to some horror of an office job again? No I would not. I don't mind working doing what 'I' want to do and much of those things wouldn't offer me as much money, but it would offer me greater satisfaction, but right now ain't nuthin goin on but the rent.
So, if he going to take care of that, I am good. The right man (and the right man pays the bills) would be worth it for me.
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...plus your pension and your mortgage-redemption (oh and let him get you a few premium bonds too...)
I am being SERIOUS!!
Is he going to pay my bills?
Why would he - are you unable to do any sort of paid work other than sex work? Why can't you pay yours and he pay his like normal, equal partners - romantic relationships aren't about one person freeloading off the other, surely?
I have not changed careers because of a man demanding I quit to move on with him. I wouldn't have found the right partner for me if I had.
Nor would anybody else, because adults don't 'demand' that other adults do what they say or else. That's why the OP didn't say that in her post.
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Why would he - are you unable to do any sort of paid work other than sex work? Why can't you pay yours and he pay his like normal, equal partners - romantic relationships aren't about one person freeloading off the other, surely?
Nor would anybody else, because adults don't 'demand' that other adults do what they say or else. That's why the OP didn't say that in her post.
Because I don't want to. So......those are my requirements. Other people can have whatever dynamic in a relationship they want, I don't judge.
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Because I don't want to. So......those are my requirements. Other people can have whatever dynamic in a relationship they want, I don't judge.
Well that's perfectly fine, but if I was a bloke I wouldn't want a relationship where I was expected to financially support another adult who is more than capable of supporting themselves but just 'doesn't want to'.
While I'd obviously do everything I could in the event of a change in circumstances (illness, redundancy and so on) I wouldn't have a cocklodger in the house who thought normal work was beneath him to the point that doing nothing and sponging off me was preferable.
Then again, I suppose I'd be singularly unlikely to fall for such a man in the first place ;D
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Why would he - are you unable to do any sort of paid work other than sex work? Why can't you pay yours and he pay his like normal, equal partners - romantic relationships aren't about one person freeloading off the other, surely?...
If he has asked me to quit whoring for him, then in my view, he should replace my earnings.
If this means that he and I are not "normal, equal partners", whatever those actually are, frankly my dear Amy, I don't give a damn.
Rather than asking whether I could get a job other than whoring, I feel you (or anyone else who takes issue with my stance on wanting a partner to replace what I make as a whore in order for me to give up whoring for him) should ask whether I could get a job in a non-sex profession that offers all the benefits of whoring. I am happy to answer that if you wish to ask it.
Lastly, "romantic relationships" may indeed preclude the financial dependence of one partner on the other. But, in my view, such relationships aren't the only kind of long-lasting and happy relationships; there are other kinds.
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Well that's perfectly fine, but if I was a bloke I wouldn't want a relationship where I was expected to financially support another adult who is more than capable of supporting themselves but just 'doesn't want to'.
While I'd obviously do everything I could in the event of a change in circumstances (illness, redundancy and so on) I wouldn't have a cocklodger in the house who thought normal work was beneath him to the point that doing nothing and sponging off me was preferable.
Then again, I suppose I'd be singularly unlikely to fall for such a man in the first place ;D
But you are not a man Amy, you are a woman, talking as an independent woman, that's fine. I have been an independent woman all my bloody life, trust me, it has not gotten me anywhere, it hasn't enabled me to find a decent man, in fact men have been sponging off of me financially or emotionally my whole adult life. I KNOW what I want and I don't judge anyone for thinking differently, I would hope others would offer me the same consideration.
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If he has asked me to quit whoring for him, then in my view, he should replace my earnings.
If this means that he and I are not "normal, equal partners", whatever those actually are, frankly my dear Amy, I don't give a damn.
Rather than asking whether I could get a job other than whoring, I feel you (or anyone else who takes issue with my stance on wanting a partner to replace what I make as a whore in order for me to give up whoring for him) should ask whether I could get a job in a non-sex profession that offers all the benefits of whoring. I am happy to answer that if you wish to ask it.
Lastly, "romantic relationships" may indeed preclude the financial dependence of one partner on the other. But, in my view, such relationships aren't the only kind of long-lasting and happy relationships; there are other kinds.
Amen!
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If he has asked me to quit whoring for him, then in my view, he should replace my earnings.
If this means that he and I are not "normal, equal partners", whatever those actually are, frankly my dear Amy, I don't give a damn.
Rather than asking whether I could get a job other than whoring, I feel you (or anyone else who takes issue with my stance on wanting a partner to replace what I make as a whore in order for me to give up whoring for him) should ask whether I could get a job in a non-sex profession that offers all the benefits of whoring. I am happy to answer that if you wish to ask it.
Lastly, "romantic relationships" may indeed preclude the financial dependence of one partner on the other. But, in my view, such relationships aren't the only kind of long-lasting and happy relationships; there are other kinds.
I myself have no isssues to "whoring on a contract" (aka: a marriage were one partner financially pays for all), but I'd rather "free-lance" just because I like my freedom. Do keep in mind that everything comes with a price tag attached. Yes you can find that sugar daddy that will offer you a legal matrimonial contract while expecting you to do your finger nails all day (they certainly exist, I've seen them), but you will be at their whim, they will have the power over you because you financially depend on them (and they know it). They're literally buying you (versus renting). If this loss of personal freedom, being at someone's whim and having little control over your life sounds appealing because you get to do your nails all day then go for it. It works for some, but not for all. There's nothing wrong with it.
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...Yes you can find that sugar daddy that will offer you a legal matrimonial contract while expecting you to do your finger nails all day (they certainly exist, I've seen them), but you will be at their whim, they will have the power over you because you financially depend on them (and they know it)...
Not necessarily, IMO.
Also, I don't necessarily agree that the term "sugar daddy" accurately describes any man who supports his partner financially in full, including to the point of matching his partner's former earnings.
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If housewifery was only about getting ones nails done all day, a LOT more people would do it.
As a parent though, no amount of money would make my life THAT easy.
People have funny ideas about things ;D
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Not necessarily, IMO.
Also, I don't necessarily agree that the term "sugar daddy" accurately describes any man who supports his partner financially in full, including to the point of matching his partner's former earnings.
No disrespect Braziliana (please don't take this the wrong way, in fact I tend to agree with your posts -in genera-l), but if you're marrying a guy for money and expecting to financially support you ( while you do your nails all day, open an online non profit business or become first lady -hello Melania!-) that's whoring, sugar-daddying, call it X. You're basically having sex in exchange for money, and the only diference between you and the girl giving blow-jobs in the Holiday inn is the type of contract, AND the fact that you will be "socially respected" while the girl at Holiday Inn won;t.
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...if you're marrying a guy for money...that's whoring...
I agree 100%
But, IMO, that does not necessarily contradict either of my last 2 statements.
To clarify, I would, in circumstances which I do not care to detail, marry for money.
Similarly, I would only give up whoring for a man if he paid me what I make as a hooker (...or just gave me a 12 million pound lump sum upfront... ;D ).
I have had no takers for my proposed relationship set-up so far, mind, bizarrely enough...
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Similarly, I would only give up whoring for a man if he paid me what I make as a hooker (...or just gave me a 12 million pound lump sum upfront... ;D ). I have had no takers for my proposed relationship set-up so far, mind, bizarrely enough...
Sorry to hear that, but neither have I ;D
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I am not saying i would only quit if a wealthy guy come along to offer me a good life style and i do not really fancy or like him.
But what i am really saying if i did quit for a guy because i like him and don't want to do this if being with him properly then he would not need to have a very high earning job but i certainly would not get with someone on a very low income where we would be struggling even if i did some non sex work.
I never want to be in a worse financial position when i leave this whether i had to work a different job or not or be at home for some of it. So a very low income boyfriend/ husband that will not be for me. I don't want to go backwards in life and i feel i already sacrificed a lot getting into sex work in the first place.
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Sorry to hear that, but neither have I ;D
Puzzling, isn't it?
;D
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If you wouldn’t or if you have done, why?
Also why not?
;D
no :)
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Only if he was rich and could supply more than I’m getting each week working. ;D
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Been there done that. No. Miserable. Would never trade my independence for a man ever again no matter how rich he is
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Congrats, MWM! Does your fiance know you currently escort?
No, he doesn’t. I would like to shut the door on escorting life completely when I retire, and for me that means him not ever having known about it. A few of my regular clients who I’ve seen for years know I’ll be retiring & the reasons and they’ve all been so lovely wishing me the best but saying they’ll miss me - it’s nice to know I’ve done a good job over the years haha
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I am in a situation like this at the moment. I work p/t a civy job but haven't done escorting for 9months due to various reasons but I do plan to start again soon. My problem is I'm back with a ex and have been going back and forth with wether I should quit all together because of the relationship or not. The relationship is ok but I have been questioning it a lot to at the same time. He knows I did this job in the past but doesn't know I have done it more recently after we first split up. I have bills to pay etc and my civy job or any for that matter just isn't cutting it financially for me and I've been pretty skint since I haven't been escorting and realistically as much as I love this man he isn't paying my bills so I feel I will carry on but probably not tell him or tell him and gauge his reaction but I also fear he may be disgusted and not like the idea. I've also considered other work like Dom work or something. So basically it's if I'm willing to be skint for love or not but will the love be worth it?
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Tee Tee the fact your already questioning will the love be worth it might be a clue? If your struggling financially and said this would he try to help you a little save you coming back to this or you don't think so?
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That's a good question and point! The thing is I've always been very independent and never asked or expected support from a man or even family, so I'm not sure if I could accept anything from him. But going forward I can't carry on being skint. I'm at a bit of a cross road with everything at the moment.
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No, he doesn’t. I would like to shut the door on escorting life completely when I retire, and for me that means him not ever having known about it. A few of my regular clients who I’ve seen for years know I’ll be retiring & the reasons and they’ve all been so lovely wishing me the best but saying they’ll miss me - it’s nice to know I’ve done a good job over the years haha
Holy crap how long have you been together?! And how has he not found out?! You’re very brave! I wouldn’t be able to do that xxx
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I’m one who is also planning to leave. I’m lucky enough I’ve a change in circumstances so I don’t need to carry on and I’ve met someone who is matched to my own needs.
I met him through this, I’ve cut back a lot of work and only do a few which is lucky given the current circumstances. I’ve been very lucky as he’s a few quid but I do believe I’ve met someone I’m very happy with.
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No, I have not changed careers because of a man demanding I quit to move on with him. I wouldn't have found the right partner for me if I had.
Nor would anybody else, because adults don't 'demand' that other adults do what they say or else. That's why the OP didn't say that in her post.
I know several ladies who were asked by their partners to quit escorting. One did, and got married. After a while she went back to seeing a few regulars, but very rarely. Another declined to quit and their relationship ended.
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Two years ago in London (working/‘holiday’ - I live in Wales) I was approached by a policeman eating lunch and he asked for my number. Fast forward 2 months and I’d stopped escorting for ‘us’ to work, told him about what I used to do.
Didn’t work out.. his job was always going to be more important than me and any sort of relationship.
Started back escorting a few months ago. Not sure I even want the hassle and heartbreak of another relationship xo
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Holy crap how long have you been together?! And how has he not found out?! You’re very brave! I wouldn’t be able to do that xxx
I started doing it again after we split but stopped but now we are kind of back together but taking things slowly.
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Not unless he's paying ALL my bills and giving me an allowance that grosses well over how much I make. This is our job. Replacing said job with another job for free doesn't make sense to me. Unless these men are covering our livelihood why would I stop my bag for dick, again? Romance without finance doesn't pay my bills. The job does.
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Not unless he's paying ALL my bills and giving me an allowance that grosses well over how much I make. This is our job. Replacing said job with another job for free doesn't make sense to me. Unless these men are covering our livelihood why would I stop my bag for dick, again? Romance without finance doesn't pay my bills. The job does.
That is very true. I'm going to test the waters and see his reaction. I do like him but I don't like him enough to quit and be skint for the foreseeable future.
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Holy crap how long have you been together?! And how has he not found out?! You’re very brave! I wouldn’t be able to do that xxx
We’ve been together a year but it’s a long distance relationship so keeping my job quiet had been easy
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We’ve been together a year but it’s a long distance relationship so keeping my job quiet had been easy
Isn’t living a double life killing you a bit with all the lying? I don’t get how some of you do it and I know plenty in real life too who do it, they don’t like that I’m honest with new potential partners straight up about my job and I’ve never had someone go off of me for it but I’m just not a huge double life living sort of person. I get why some of you lie as you may lose the man you love but then imagine them finding out, Christ that’s a huge thing to have to hide.
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I've been with Mr Delite for 28 years, so if my job started to affect our relationship, then, yes, I would.
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Isn’t living a double life killing you a bit with all the lying? I don’t get how some of you do it and I know plenty in real life too who do it, they don’t like that I’m honest with new potential partners straight up about my job and I’ve never had someone go off of me for it but I’m just not a huge double life living sort of person. I get why some of you lie as you may lose the man you love but then imagine them finding out, Christ that’s a huge thing to have to hide.
It’s not something I want to reveal to my partner because, as I said, I want to close the door completely on that life without someone knowing what my past job was.
Now that I have stopped escorting, I’m happy knowing he will never know.
As for the double life, yeah it’s crap having to lie but he would never accept it and that’s absolutely okay. He lives abroad so before closing the distance, we saw each other every 6 weeks for a week at a time. It felt easier keeping my job a secret with him being so far away. Didn’t like it, but that’s how it was. I don’t regret it.
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I was an escort before I got married and he knew what I did when we met and when we married. After we got married he became more concerned with what I did and who I did it with, and tried to control what I did and how much I did.
It was a relief when we separated (and then divorced) because I felt free again.
If I ever met someone who I wanted to be with or even marry, I'd be more honest and definitely would fight for myself more. If I did quit, it would be on my terms. I'd have to be pretty sure that it was what I wanted and that there was something for me to do afterwards.
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Like some have said it's a job albeit an unconventional job. Love/personal relationships override any job IMHO.
If I was able to support myself doing a more traditional job then100% I would hang up stockings in a heartbeat.
Also I would never tell him I have been sucking cock for cash ;D
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Once I did and never will again.
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Not a chance in hell!
If I was younger and still wanting to have children then that would be different. The desire to have children would have overridden my love of the job. (Unfortunately my desire to have children also led me to stay in a bad marriage for far too long, but that's another story.)
I've had a couple of FWB situations since starting escorting and I really do not want anything more than that. I don't want or need a "romantic" partner.
I do think it's a totally normal thing for prospective partners to be okay with the concept of swinging, open/poly relationships, but draw the line at escorting. To be fair, our line of work means they are far more likely to catch an STI from us, leaving aside issues of jealousy, fear of friends/family finding out and being shamed, etc.
I think if someone is asking you to change career because s/he doesn't like your line of work, then it's a fair question to ask them how they will support you in moving jobs. For example, taking over all the bills whilst you get qualified in something, moving in together and them doing the lion's share of the home/life admin so you can concentrate on studying, offering to give up their own career to provide childcare...
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I recently discovered I am poly, new potential and current relationships know about my work and support me. Everyone knows everything including friends and family. I feel like I won the Hoe lottery but it wasn't always like that. I gave up work to pursue a man and goddamn, what a fucking nightmare. :o
Don't give up for bloody anyone, don't give up anything that you feel is a part of you. I know its just a job and that is the beauty of it but at the same time its given me so much and have such resect for it that I feel like one of those that are 'married to the job' almost.
Tried civvy work and life and it just isn't for me I know that much. I'm now a part of the kink scene and I wouldn't have or be this If I would have stayed with that one guy. I am beyond happy now and I wouldn't have it any other way.