You can look at it from all sorts of viewpoints if you really go down the psychological route as to why married men do it................

I mean regardless of whether his wife has cancer or not?  Does that makes a difference ? 

I am not in any way saying the cancer is irrelevant and it's a traumatic thing for anyone to go through (I've witnessed it first hand myself with a few relatives) but what about all the other wives who aren't necessarily ill?  You could look at it that way. 

I doubt we will ever get into the mindset of these men and I sometimes wonder if there are any men that really wouldn't take the chance, if they have an opportunity!  Men seem to be able to switch off or see it as nothing wrong. 

I mean how many of these guys willingly talk about their wives to us?  As though, in their eyes, they are doing nothing wrong at all! 

So, it's not for us to judge them really and at the end of the day, we are here making the money and that's how I see it now.  I try not to dwell too much on what they say or do as after all, they're men! 

So many of them see nothing wrong at all in what they do and if you think about it, it's just a physical need and they have to get a fix and that's how they see it.  An hour or so with us then they're off back playing happy families and I never give them another thought once they've gone. 

Nevertheless, I do have my 'nicer' ones and the 'annoying' ones or the 'pain in the ass' (not literally) ones and also I have a few disabled chaps I see too that I probably do think more of once they've left but I think in this business we can try and fathom out as much as possible but we'll never come to really understand what makes these guys tick! 

Jenny

I have a regular whose wife was very sick with cancer since I met him, and coming to see me was literally the only form of escape from caring for her, taking her to the doctor etc, and the only time he was doing something for himself.  He worked all day and cared for her all night & morning.  I always tried to make our time as special as possible b/c I had so much respect for him, and by the way he talked about her and teared up over her I knew he loved her so much.  I don't think men go to escorts b/c they don't love their wives.  I would never expect one person to fulfill my every need for the rest of my life, nor would I be so audacious as to believe I could be everything to someone.  Men come to me to be in a safe space that's free of judgement, and in turn, they don't judge me for what I do.  Sure, some clients are going to be horrible people who have no respect for their wives and try to sleep with every living thing with boobs, but those are few and far between in my experience.  The vast majority are there because they love their wives, and instead of having an affair with the woman at the office that could destroy their marriage, they're seeking something purely physical that poses no threat to their relationship.  And I respect and appreciate them for that.  I tell my clients who work all day to support their wife and kids that they deserve to treat themselves, and I wholeheartedly believe that to be true.

Quote from: chloinnyc on 13 March 2015, 06:04:20 pm

I have a regular whose wife was very sick with cancer since I met him, and coming to see me was literally the only form of escape from caring for her, taking her to the doctor etc, and the only time he was doing something for himself.  He worked all day and cared for her all night & morning.  I always tried to make our time as special as possible b/c I had so much respect for him, and by the way he talked about her and teared up over her I knew he loved her so much.  I don't think men go to escorts b/c they don't love their wives.  I would never expect one person to fulfill my every need for the rest of my life, nor would I be so audacious as to believe I could be everything to someone.  Men come to me to be in a safe space that's free of judgement, and in turn, they don't judge me for what I do.  Sure, some clients are going to be horrible people who have no respect for their wives and try to sleep with every living thing with boobs, but those are few and far between in my experience.  The vast majority are there because they love their wives, and instead of having an affair with the woman at the office that could destroy their marriage, they're seeking something purely physical that poses no threat to their relationship.  And I respect and appreciate them for that.  I tell my clients who work all day to support their wife and kids that they deserve to treat themselves, and I wholeheartedly believe that to be true.

To be fair, you are not really in a position to know the truth about client's lives, how many people they are sleeping with, how happy their marriages are and how well they treat their wives. In my opinion a client only deserves to see me on the basis he can pay the fee and he is respectful and courteous, my moral position with regards to an individual client is disinterest whilst I'm on his time. 

I just think it would be something of a spurious waste of energy to be every Tom, Dick and Harriet's moral arbiter. But that extends to their wives, and I'm not about to make assumptions about them, including assuming that their husband supports and provides for them. What with so many wonen I know these days supporting and providing for themselves.

Quote from: hslbristol on 13 March 2015, 07:44:27 pm

Quote from: chloinnyc on 13 March 2015, 06:04:20 pm

I have a regular whose wife was very sick with cancer since I met him, and coming to see me was literally the only form of escape from caring for her, taking her to the doctor etc, and the only time he was doing something for himself.  He worked all day and cared for her all night & morning.  I always tried to make our time as special as possible b/c I had so much respect for him, and by the way he talked about her and teared up over her I knew he loved her so much.  I don't think men go to escorts b/c they don't love their wives.  I would never expect one person to fulfill my every need for the rest of my life, nor would I be so audacious as to believe I could be everything to someone.  Men come to me to be in a safe space that's free of judgement, and in turn, they don't judge me for what I do.  Sure, some clients are going to be horrible people who have no respect for their wives and try to sleep with every living thing with boobs, but those are few and far between in my experience.  The vast majority are there because they love their wives, and instead of having an affair with the woman at the office that could destroy their marriage, they're seeking something purely physical that poses no threat to their relationship.  And I respect and appreciate them for that.  I tell my clients who work all day to support their wife and kids that they deserve to treat themselves, and I wholeheartedly believe that to be true.

To be fair, you are not really in a position to know the truth about client's lives, how many people they are sleeping with, how happy their marriages are and how well they treat their wives. In my opinion a client only deserves to see me on the basis he can pay the fee and he is respectful and courteous, my moral position with regards to an individual client is disinterest whilst I'm on his time. 

I just think it would be something of a spurious waste of energy to be every Tom, Dick and Harriet's moral arbiter. But that extends to their wives, and I'm not about to make assumptions about them, including assuming that their husband supports and provides for them. What with so many wonen I know these days supporting and providing for themselves.

I understand that's how you operate.  I don't do the job that way.  I enjoy the human element, I enjoy talking with my clients about whatever they wish to discuss, and of course I keep my personal information out of the conversation and take what they say with a grain of salt.  With this particular client, to whom I acted not only as an escort but also as a therapist of sorts, I chose to believe him for a number of reasons I don't feel the need to get into.  And because of that I feel I gave a personalized service that helped him get through an incredibly difficult time.  Everyone approaches the job in the way that suits them best, and for me, treating clients like robots who want to fuck and leave would be untrue to my style.  It's not unusual for me to leave a booking feeling as if I was able to fill a client's emotional void as well as his physical one, and that's something that a lot of my regulars seem to come back for.  Disinterest may work for you, but I honestly don't think I could feign it if I tried.  The intellectual and psychological aspects of human interactions are the parts I enjoy the most about this job and are often what I'm sought for.