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Author Topic: why do I always let this job take over my life?!  (Read 1606 times)

Siorse

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why do I always let this job take over my life?!
« on: 16 October 2014, 05:25:33 pm »
No matter how hard I try to have days off, have a limited amount of clients a day, separate my 'working life' from my
'normal life', in reality I just find it impossible!!! >:(
I find it hard to stick to a routine coz of clients not turning up, cancelling,or whatever, so I have to re-arrange my day and end up taking bookings booked
half an hour in advance, I end up hardly leaving the house coz I want to be ready and waiting so I don't miss any customers, etc
etc etc...
So I end up only having one life, and that's my working life.
Social life disappears, I end up stressed out and eventually I'll have to take some time off to get my head together and get some
TIME TO MYSELF instead of feeling my only purpose on this planet is to work!
I know what I SHOULD do, I just don't seem to be capable of doing it! ::)
Anyone else have this problem???
I don't have to be perfect, but I'm perfect at being me!

Fabulassie

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Re: why do I always let this job take over my life?!
« Reply #1 on: 16 October 2014, 08:37:48 pm »
Yes I have this problem. I am in a bit of a funk, lately, and close to burning out. So I had a booking for 1. Good. Plenty of time to go to the gym, first. Then I get a call asking for a half hour at 12.... I can do it. I should do it. But then what about going to the gym? And I found that I felt so resentful at this man for daring to want to come and see me (how stupid is that?) that I knew I couldn't do it. I turned him down. And then felt sort of guilty about it.


Kay

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Re: why do I always let this job take over my life?!
« Reply #2 on: 16 October 2014, 10:13:32 pm »
One thing I've started to do... Saturday nights have always been quiet for me, so if I haven't got any bookings for then by Friday afternoon, I turn my phone off at about 5pm on Saturday and just CHILL OUT. It's great at the moment as I can pass the time ogling Ben Haenow on The X-Factor...  :-*

I might turn my phone on again to check for any messages before bed, or answer the odd email, but otherwise I have the night entirely to switch off and do something else. I'd strongly recommend blocking off one day and/or night to do this yourself. It also means that if I don't have any bookings earlier on the Saturday, I can give my hair and face a rest, i.e. not washing it, no make-up etc.
"There is no sin except stupidity" - Oscar Wilde

Caledonia

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Re: why do I always let this job take over my life?!
« Reply #3 on: 16 October 2014, 10:37:52 pm »
Im similar to Kay except I don't work the weekends at all unless I'm away somewhere, so my phone is switched off from Friday night, or if I am using the internet on it then it's on silent.

meetingdiversity

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Re: why do I always let this job take over my life?!
« Reply #4 on: 16 October 2014, 10:46:41 pm »
What I find helps is to have set times of certain days to take time out doing things for myself.

Lady_Lust_XXX

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Re: why do I always let this job take over my life?!
« Reply #5 on: 16 October 2014, 10:59:21 pm »
Really you just got to learn to be strict with yourself and say NO.

ME time is necessary when whoring or you will end up going into burnout and maybe lose more in the long run.

Be good to yourself for no one else will be.

I could count on one hand the number of weekends I worked in eight years.

Having an incall apartment is always a good way of dealing with getting away from work and being able to turn off easier and turning off your phone at specific times is good too.
Beauty is nothing to do with having a pretty face.
It is about having a pretty mind, a pretty heart,
And most importantly a beautiful soul.

luciefate

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Re: why do I always let this job take over my life?!
« Reply #6 on: 16 October 2014, 11:39:58 pm »
I'm trying to be sensible, but since I've started doing Incalls it's been so busy I feel I'm letting people down if I don't work.

I've decided to set aside Saturdays, but I agree, it's difficult.  ::)

Hadley

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Re: why do I always let this job take over my life?!
« Reply #7 on: 16 October 2014, 11:57:07 pm »
I feel so sorry for you because I would always be like that too!

In the end I made myself only work strict times ( as in I gave my work phone to a friend, and forbade myself to touch the computer during "off" hours). The times I now work are always regular; i.e. the same set days, and the same set hours each week. This makes it clearer for clients regarding when I'll be available, and so much better for me too - as in, I have set times that I am "not at work" which makes my regular timetable easier to stick to.

The great thing is you don't lose work from having fixed hours - honestly. I was always worried I would lose bookings if I wasn't available at the exact time clients wanted. But truthfully, if anything my business increased. You will find the people that genuinely want to see you will book within your available hours. The timewasters trying to push your boundaries stop bothering if they know you won't move from your set times! The same genuine people still book, just within the parameters you have set, leaving you free to enjoy your spare time without guilt. xx

It's really hard at first but please do try it, really you do gain so much xx

"Why do people say "grow some balls"? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding."

-Betty White

Tina Sparx

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Re: why do I always let this job take over my life?!
« Reply #8 on: 17 October 2014, 07:03:36 am »
I think we are all the same apart from the real strong ones amongst us.

I find Camming is even worse.  "Another ?10 then I will turn it off!"
It costs a lot to look this cheap.

sourgrapes

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Re: why do I always let this job take over my life?!
« Reply #9 on: 17 October 2014, 09:46:30 am »
Advertise your day off i.e. "I'm unavailable on Sundays, and won't be checking messages before Monday morning." Then make yourself switch the phone off, and don't get tempted to check messages. The sense of relief and freedom will soon get you into the habit. We can't be slaves to the job - defeats the object.
Every woman is the architect of her own fortune

Siorse

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Re: why do I always let this job take over my life?!
« Reply #10 on: 17 October 2014, 10:46:03 am »
You're all so right, it's not supposed to BE your life, it's supposed to make your life better..
I think one of my biggest problems is, reading all your replies, is that I don't have set work times, it says on my profile:
" I'm available most days....", which is not giving myself a break at any time coz I think I should be working ::)
Hadley, that's what I'll do, state clearly on my profile what days and hours I'm available, so I won't be getting those calls
and unexpected punters I don't really want to do, but do anyway coz they're there, and it's money in the pot!
I only started getting this problem when all the sauna's shut down and I went indie, so that's definitely where the problems lie;
No set work times..
I don't have to be perfect, but I'm perfect at being me!

Reni

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Re: why do I always let this job take over my life?!
« Reply #11 on: 17 October 2014, 10:55:05 am »
Setting and stating my work hours really helps me. I also have a daily/weekly earning target in mind. Either way as soon as I'm home I leave my work phone in my bag and only check it in passing and more for a mental note of how many missed calls I had. I do check my emails as that's how people can contact me out of hours to make advanced bookings, this way I'm not a slave to my phone and only check emails when I have Internet/remember.
I'm aware I do miss out on lots of potential earnings but I do ok in my stated hours and I stay same and stress free. I can visit family or go out whenever without a single thought to work.
Good luck

Fabulassie

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Re: why do I always let this job take over my life?!
« Reply #12 on: 17 October 2014, 11:58:40 am »
I know a lot of women will wait until they get a booking to go to their incall flat, get dressed, etc. That sort of adds to the overall sense of it bleeding into your regular life. I think it's better to go to your work flat at a certain time. Or, if you don't go to a dedicated flat/work from home/do outcalls then set a certain time to be showered, shaved, dressed and ready.

I do answer my phones before my working hours start as I start at 12 noon. I am answering my phone as soon as I drop the kids off at school and I tell them that I start at 12. I do get guys asking if I can start at 11 or something but I say I can't do it. I will, however, do an earlier booking if it's booked at least a day in advance.

MsDee

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Re: why do I always let this job take over my life?!
« Reply #13 on: 17 October 2014, 01:53:55 pm »
I set my working schedule up two weeks in advance.  i ensure that I am ready by 8am in the morning, that my place is clean and tidy and everything is perfect.  I finish at 3pm 3 days a week the other two i finish at 5pm, my phone gets switched off as and when I am finished for the day.  i do not reply to emails or phone calls from 5pm on a friday until a monday morning again unless someone has asked for an appointment on the monday.

It can take over your life if you let it but by setting yourself rules and timelines you should be ok.

Erotic flower

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Re: why do I always let this job take over my life?!
« Reply #14 on: 17 October 2014, 03:09:11 pm »
I don't work Saturdays ever as its been timewaster day nonsense callers for ages so I do  early morning phone chat whilst relaxing catching up on tv stuff etc. I don't mind making the extra credits.  I go out after midday and switch off phone even though I get emails I just ignore as nothing shows im working, its their problem then if they cant read im not available