SAAFE forum
General Category => Blather and Babble => Topic started by: Lil Lolita on 27 June 2013, 05:32:56 pm
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Outwith work, I have had a few chancers e.g. at bars try their luck.
I obviously make sure it's an area outwith where I live, but my opinion is, why should a bloke get it for free if he's using you and slagging about?
I get the whole sleazy speel, so then I say my price list.
Instantly, I get a tirade of abuse.. "I wouldn't even pay 1p for you, you disease ridden slag".
Yet these blokes put it about..
Maybe it's just me, I don't know. I just think that me and other ladies are worth our prices, so why shouldn't I get something in return?
It's the whole reason I avoid bars/clubs now (plus am getting on a bit lol). But I still get hit on sometimes on the street when I'm out minding my own business.
Clients aside, I don't get why blokes go nuts if you state your price list. The saying "no such thing as a free lunch" springs to mind..
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When a guys ego is dented he will always come back with a tirade like the one you mention. You could be Miss World and decline but according to them you are a dirt filled ************, they just don't like rejection and the fact they aint getting it gratis really cuts them up. Eejits.
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Daisy- simply because, that's how we're labelled all the time!
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I find that having sex with guys I really want to outside of escorting keeps me sane. If the only sex I had was when I was paid for it I think I would go a little crazy
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Maybe I just hold a totally different view :)
Now, I love this job, really I do. I work with a good team, my clients are 99.9% nice men, I go to some lovely hotels, spend it with great company, have some good fun. But obviously, and I know there was a similar thread recently about money etc, but it's good to be paid for it.
Perhaps, outside of this job, I have been used once too often, I dont know. But outwith this job, I find sex dull, boring and well, not interesting! And I don't see why some guys think they can go about asking for it without expecting something back! Like I said, may have to be an agree to disagree post, but personally I would rather be paid for it :)
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Really Jasmine?? :o (I don't mean that sarcastically either)
I get to have a few orgasms in this business and be paid for it as well, I think that's the thrill of it. As I said in the last post, sex outwith is boring and I simply feel a tad used unless I get something in return. Perhaps that's just me, some may think it, some may not.
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Some people see our work as being cheap and dirty but IMO anyone doing it for free is worse. That's just my opinion though.
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Yes, I agree with you LL. That's my perception too!
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You always get some men like this.
You charge it your a whore you freely give it your whore.
I'm in the same mind set Lil Lolita if I spilt up with my bf I doubt I'd just go out for sex and not be paid
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Some people see our work as being cheap and dirty but IMO anyone doing it for free is worse. That's just my opinion though.
Yes a certain group in society who does it to and it isn't fair, but life isn't that some times.
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Outwith work, I have had a few chancers e.g. at bars try their luck.
I obviously make sure it's an area outwith where I live, but my opinion is, why should a bloke get it for free if he's using you and slagging about?
I get the whole sleazy speel, so then I say my price list.
Instantly, I get a tirade of abuse.. "I wouldn't even pay 1p for you, you disease ridden slag".
Yet these blokes put it about..
Maybe it's just me, I don't know. I just think that me and other ladies are worth our prices, so why shouldn't I get something in return?
It's the whole reason I avoid bars/clubs now (plus am getting on a bit lol). But I still get hit on sometimes on the street when I'm out minding my own business.
Clients aside, I don't get why blokes go nuts if you state your price list. The saying "no such thing as a free lunch" springs to mind..
Most likely these are average men who don't use escorts for whatever reason who react badly. I just smile when out having a dance and flirt separating this and personal time. But would much rather getting money in returning both lives, But in my personal life this is a big secret so can't go on like that, as come across respectable engaging with others. It would do my head in living 24/7 in a prosy mind set.
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I think it depends on the situation. i wouldnt tell any bloke who is in the bar my price list just because they want to chat me up but if they are rude (and often they are) and it clearly shows they only want a free shag which they say anyway ("now", "tonight" "you wanna come to my room") then why not tell the price list?
I dont like rude disrespectul men and i dont mind when they are 'shocked' or 'outraged' because i dont like them anyway and saying your price equals to saying f*ck off. often the reason why act like that because if they would pay for sex they would feel miserable and lonely and a looser.
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...but IMO anyone doing it for free is worse.
This is what i don't understand. Why, just because it's sex, is it 'bad' / 'worse' / 'moral' vs. 'immoral' ad infinitum. I 'do it for free' quite a bit and I get paid for it quite a bit too :D neither of these is bad or worse than the other... As sex workers we of course have our own opinions on certain subjects but shouldn't the language and attitude we have towards sex, sex work and other peoples choices on how they express their sexuality be a little more tolerant and informed than that of the general public?
I thought it was what Daisy is replying to but wasn't too sure. Having fun for free is ok, just how it is for having paid sex fun. Some people could say that paying for sex is far worse than for free. There is for and against in every thing.
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Because if you are going out into a social situation men chatting up a woman do not expect to then be presented with a list of fees. They most probably also aren't out looking for a prostitute or business transaction.
Secondly although attitudes are changing prostitution isn't socially acceptable to many, and some find it very offensive. To sit and shout it out in a bar to random blokes who come talk to you is going to leave you open to possible insult.
Then you can start on the rejection issues.
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One day sooner or later, people are going to have to accept us.
I see a few people agree, whereas a few others don't, but personally, I don't understand the full concept of why people would want to do it for free.
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One day sooner or later, people are going to have to accept us.
I see a few people agree, whereas a few others don't, but personally, I don't understand the full concept of why people would want to do it for free.
This is the worlds oldest profession and we have been ridiculed for our profession throughout the ages. It would be great if society does except us, but I wouldn't expect it any time soon, so we just have to keep on fighting.
As for sex in general. I enjoy it, I get paid for it and in my civvy life, if I'm feeling horny I will go out and get it. It's usually on my terms though, so I pretty much 'use' men as much as they use me. It's mutual satifcation. Although that been said I am the predatory type and do tend to scare men off at times for being very forward in my approach.
You say that you find sex a bore and feel used if not getting paid for it which is probably why you don't understand why some of us give it up for free in our civvy life. It's because we enjoy it.
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Sorry Dexi, but I find that last bit of your post a tad insulting, although I am sure it didn't mean to come across that way.
It is dull. There's simply no fun in being used, so it's why I always charge.
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It's not meant to be insulting. :)
You charge because you find it dull and feel used, as I say some of us simply don't feel that way.
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:)
Point taken ;D
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One day sooner or later, people are going to have to accept us.
I cant see this EVER happening. Not in my life time anyway.
I know Im older and Ive had my share of unpaid sex but I would hate to think if I was younger that I was never going to enjoy unpaid sex again.
In a loving relationship it is lovely ........... however, one night drunken shags are never fulfilling for anyone.
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Isn't this also a bit like why we do allsorts of things in our lives which some people provide as a business?
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Isn't this also a bit like why we do allsorts of things in our lives which some people provide as a business?
How do you mean Strawberry?
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It's a natural enough reaction. Computer programers generally don't love being constantly pestered for free tech support by technophobic friends and relatives, doctors/free consults, lawyers/free legal advice etc. Sex is a bit more fundamental though. I've said before- if having sex for money with men seemed to be dampening my enthusiasm for the sex I have outside of work with women and TS, I'd quit and find a new job. That's just me though. No disrespect to those who see things differently.
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This is a bit of a generalisation and there will always be plenty of people that are different but ..
I think perhaps some girls underestimate how much men think women 'want it'. When men have high testosterone levels they will have sex with anything with a pulse (even other men sometimes despite not being gay) as they are so frustrated. The problem is they think that women suffer the same frustration and that they are offering to do you a favour by offering you the use of their manhood. The problem being that generally women are not as desperate as men and have the luxury of choosing the kind of guy that has the right looks or personality (hopefully both). Being asked to pay for it is offensive to them because it reminds them that they are not the super stud they wish they were and it is the woman with the upper hand not them.
I suppose the best way of thinking about it would be if you were working in a parlour where you were in a line-up being chosen buy guys and you were always last to get chosen. This is how rejected a guy will feel when he is considered so unattractive that he has to pay to get chosen.
A man's world is a very conflicted one, on the one hand they want a girl that looks like a superstar and performs like a porn star but at the same time genuinely enjoys themselves and only has eyes for him. You have probably noticed how so many of the men you see are keen for you to show you are enjoying what you do, not just doing it for money. It is part of their self esteem to think that they can do something that excites you.
As for would I do it for free of corse I would as there is a difference in the motivation, If I was going out to look for my own gratification I wouldn't just head of with the first guy that asked I would be choosing one that was going to give me something I wanted. Some times we are lucky and get a punter that ticks all the right boxes but to be brutally honest most are not the kind of guy that would send us weak at the knees and they and us know that it is being paid that makes it possible to move straight to the fun bit.
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This is a bit of a generalisation and there will always be plenty of people that are different but ..
I think perhaps some girls underestimate how much men think women 'want it'. When men have high testosterone levels they will have sex with anything with a pulse (even other men sometimes despite not being gay) as they are so frustrated. The problem is they think that women suffer the same frustration and that they are offering to do you a favour by offering you the use of their manhood. The problem being that generally women are not as desperate as men and have the luxury of choosing the kind of guy that has the right looks or personality (hopefully both). Being asked to pay for it is offensive to them because it reminds them that they are not the super stud they wish they were and it is the woman with the upper hand not them.
I suppose the best way of thinking about it would be if you were working in a parlour where you were in a line-up being chosen buy guys and you were always last to get chosen. This is how rejected a guy will feel when he is considered so unattractive that he has to pay to get chosen.
A man's world is a very conflicted one, on the one hand they want a girl that looks like a superstar and performs like a porn star but at the same time genuinely enjoys themselves and only has eyes for him. You have probably noticed how so many of the men you see are keen for you to show you are enjoying what you do, not just doing it for money. It is part of their self esteem to think that they can do something that excites you.
As for would I do it for free of corse I would as there is a difference in the motivation, If I was going out to look for my own gratification I wouldn't just head of with the first guy that asked I would be choosing one that was going to give me something I wanted. Some times we are lucky and get a punter that ticks all the right boxes but to be brutally honest most are not the kind of guy that would send us weak at the knees and they and us know that it is being paid that makes it possible to move straight to the fun bit.
I just find that it's so rude of blokes just to go up and ask and "think" I would want it. Why would I want to be used like that? That's the beauty about this job, it's give and receive. As for the parlour example, I can appreciate that greatly. One of the reasons (amongst many) that I left in the end was because of one of the girls there, who was constantly getting picked every single time, and the stupid owner kept making remarks about my weight. At least with the agency, I can be doing what I want, when I want when I'm on call, provided I am in my area ready for a booking, so I don't have to put up with sitting around with blokes picking the same girl all the time.
It's a bit of a different principle though. 3/4's of the reason I worked in the parlour (or sauna as they are known in Scotland) was for financial gain. I guess I am just one of these people who could go without sex for the rest of my life if I wasn't in this profession, and I just find it amusing how blokes "think" that they are doing me a favour by asking. PMSL! ::)
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Lolita, Why do you think every men using you i dont undertand? you dont use them?? of course you do because you try to make a living from something that is based on emotions and its free. its other thing why men come to see you, feeling lonely/dont have time for a gf/they want discretion and they are willing to pay for it.
As for acceptance i dont think it will ever change. it havent changed for centuries so why would it change now? Have you read the book Nana from Emile Zola or see the Miserables? it was not written in 2013 and still there were brothels operating and prostitutes working. Only thing changed now you pay tax on it in certain countries so you have less profit and in the uk you can get free condoms because there is a system to protect sex workers but it doesnt mean peoples perception will change. no.
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I just find that it's so rude of blokes just to go up and ask and "think" I would want it. Why would I want to be used like that?
I guess that is the point we find it difficult to see things from the other perspective, in the guys head you are there for the same reason as him, and because he is high on testosterone and had a couple of drinks he forgets he isn't Max Irons.
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Lolita, Why do you think every men using you i dont undertand? you dont use them?? of course you do because you try to make a living from something that is based on emotions and its free. its other thing why men come to see you, feeling lonely/dont have time for a gf/they want discretion and they are willing to pay for it.
As for acceptance i dont think it will ever change. it havent changed for centuries so why would it change now? Have you read the book Nana from Emile Zola or see the Miserables? it was not written in 2013 and still there were brothels operating and prostitutes working. Only thing changed now you pay tax on it in certain countries so you have less profit and in the uk you can get free condoms because there is a system to protect sex workers but it doesnt mean peoples perception will change. no.
BBW, what do you mean "why do you think every men using you". They are?? And how do you mean, I don't use them? Maybe from the job side of things I do, but otherwise, I don't! Please don't assume you know about me :)
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In answer to your question, most people are not used to the idea of being charged for it. Its abhorrent to them on many levels, first that you are basically saying to them 'you need to pay for it' which understandably could be damn insulting to many men. Secondly just to randomly drop it into civvy life is not something most men are accustomed to so are probably pretty shocked by the proposition, they go from thinking you are a 'normal' girl to a prossie all in one line.
Our clients and us are a very small subculture of society, and as such we have the 'distorted' view of sex rather than than the rest of society.
At the end of the day if it upsets you that men get annoyed when you insist on charging them, then stop propositioning them, as you are the one that is putting yourself in that position. No matter what your views, you have to accept that people don't have similar views, and stop antagonising them. And if you want to continue, you're going to have to develop a tougher skin.
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What I find grates with me is the fact that guys try to make it sound as though they are doing YOU a favour when it is really THEM that is despo and wanting a shag. :FF :FF
Work is something totally different though.
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Dont take it personally Lolita. its not meant to hurt you. I could have written prostitutes there apologies.
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Hang on a minute Casey Kisses. I am NOT propositioning them!!
If I am out minding my OWN business, whether it's to Tesco(!) or having a quiet drink in a bar, some of them hit on me. I have NEVER propositioned a guy!!
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You are when you suggest charging them!
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Well sorry, but do you think I am going to stand around to be insulted that I sleep with some sleazer for nought? Er, no!
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You're not being insulted, they are doing it because they think they are attracted to you! why do you antagonise the situation? you could just walk away and say I'm not interested. At the end of the day men are going to hit on you and you have to find a way of dealing with it, without it causing further upset. You can't control the action of others, only your reaction to them.
Anyway, I'm out because I think this is your personal issue with men and not something really that anyone can change your mind about.
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I love the way people think this is a personal issue! ;D
It's nice to know there are others who agree and can see my stance (Aussie Male Escort, I particularly liked your examples about different jobs e.g. people wanting free advice from doctors). I just don't see why people are taking the hump otherwise.
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I'm a bit confused now Lolita, I'm assuming they don't come up to you and say 'fancy a shag' ? As casey says surely they are approaching you because they find you attractive, some of them may god forbid be looking for a proper relationship. How else are they going to find someone than to meet people in a public place and try to start up a conversation with you to find out if there is any chemistry between you ?
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At the end of the day if a guy thinks you're attractive to ask out or have a bit of no ties fun then they'll ask. All you have to do is politely tell them you're not interested. It'll save you a lot of hassle in the long run.
As I mentioned in a previous post I'm the one usually doing the asking ( you don't get anywhere if you don't ask). If they're not interested then I'm politely told no. I have to admit if I was out and I propositioned a guy and his retort was it will cost this much for half an hour or this much for an hour, I think I would be taken aback too, as it's so out of context in day to day life.
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Mrs Mischief, you ought to hear what some of them have said! I am surprised some ladies haven't given them a black eye already! lol
Thing is, we all know how generally a man's mind works. And 99.9999% of the time, he's bound to be after one thing! ;)
I agree with LL, how some men think they are doing you a favour, very bizarre concept they have!
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lil lolita,
With respect, I do not think you want input from others who are trying to show you that his behavior was 'normal' and yours was not. You simply want agreement...or something, not quite sure what.
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lil lolita,
With respect, I do not think you want input from others who are trying to show you that his behavior was 'normal' and yours was not. You simply want agreement...or something, not quite sure what.
And quite personally, Nobody Interesting, I think you are seeking an argument. You have read me totally wrong, and I personally do not care if you think that guys coming up telling me they have 8 inch dicks and do I fancy a shag, "normal", and I am not.
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In summary, as the last thing I want is for this to escalate and to be locked, I just think maybe guys should have a look on sex specified sites if they are after that and obviously not an escort. There seem to be hundreds!
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telling me they have 8 inch dicks
Personally I would just reply "Thats nice so do I :-)"
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telling me they have 8 inch dicks
Personally I would just reply "Thats nice so do I :-)"
PMSL!!! :D I had one idiot come up to me and say after I had said it "Go screw yourself" to which I replied, "Don't worry, I do regularly!" :)
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At the end of the day if a guy thinks you're attractive to ask out or have a bit of no ties fun then they'll ask. All you have to do is politely tell them you're not interested. It'll save you a lot of hassle in the long run.
As I mentioned in a previous post I'm the one usually doing the asking ( you don't get anywhere if you don't ask). If they're not interested then I'm politely told no. I have to admit if I was out and I propositioned a guy and his retort was it will cost this much for half an hour or this much for an hour, I think I would be taken aback too, as it's so out of context in day to day life.
Agree totally, especially the last sentance. Personally theres no way I'd mention my profession/quote prices in a non-work situation as I'm a very private person. I'd just do as Dexi said and politely decline.
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Personally, I just (in my opinion) feel it makes me look weak by politely declining :-\
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I'm curious. Why would you think it weak to politely turn someone down if it was something you didn't want to do? Surely it would show strength of charactor and that you're not a push over.
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Well, just because in my eyes, it sort of makes someone looks feeble. When stating prices, it's almost like a way of saying "Oh no you don't! If you want to be cheeky and ask, get a cheeky response!"
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This is a bit of a generalisation and there will always be plenty of people that are different but ..
I think perhaps some girls underestimate how much men think women 'want it'. When men have high testosterone levels they will have sex with anything with a pulse (even other men sometimes despite not being gay) as they are so frustrated. The problem is they think that women suffer the same frustration and that they are offering to do you a favour by offering you the use of their manhood. The problem being that generally women are not as desperate as men and have the luxury of choosing the kind of guy that has the right looks or personality (hopefully both). Being asked to pay for it is offensive to them because it reminds them that they are not the super stud they wish they were and it is the woman with the upper hand not them.
I suppose the best way of thinking about it would be if you were working in a parlour where you were in a line-up being chosen buy guys and you were always last to get chosen. This is how rejected a guy will feel when he is considered so unattractive that he has to pay to get chosen.
A man's world is a very conflicted one, on the one hand they want a girl that looks like a superstar and performs like a porn star but at the same time genuinely enjoys themselves and only has eyes for him. You have probably noticed how so many of the men you see are keen for you to show you are enjoying what you do, not just doing it for money. It is part of their self esteem to think that they can do something that excites you.
As for would I do it for free of corse I would as there is a difference in the motivation, If I was going out to look for my own gratification I wouldn't just head of with the first guy that asked I would be choosing one that was going to give me something I wanted. Some times we are lucky and get a punter that ticks all the right boxes but to be brutally honest most are not the kind of guy that would send us weak at the knees and they and us know that it is being paid that makes it possible to move straight to the fun bit.
I think you are absolutely spot on there. Men are very confused because they get conflicting messages. Books seem to add to it, like the sex myth one from Brooke Magnanti recently which I must admit I haven't seen, but does seem to overstate the case. Until I started doing this job I hadn't fully appreciated just how extremely frustrated some men can become. In some ways they hide it quite well only for it to raise its head when they are trying to chat someone up.
The idea of responding to a chat up line with a price list I find quite interesting. I'm not sure I have got the nerve to actually try it in public though. Maybe responding to someone being very persistent with a suggestion that it might have a price could possibly work. I'm sure it would work in certain situations. Just imagine if it became normal everywhere!
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I'm curious. Why would you think it weak to politely turn someone down if it was something you didn't want to do? Surely it would show strength of charactor and that you're not a push over.
Got to agree with Dexi on this one.
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Got to agree with Dexi and a few other ladies, your reaction seems a little antagonistic. Dunno just seems a bit strange to get that indignant about someone showing an interest. As for other examples, a random stranger would not asked someone for medical or accounting advice unless they are aware of their professions. Since most of us probably don't walk around with a massive scarlet letter embroidered to our clothes, how would a guy know when meeting us in a social setting?
Dunno the context of what these guys say to you but while I get compliments and get chatted up, I seem to not get outright crass proposals.
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I kind of see where you're coming from Lolita but don't you get scared of being exposed? like if you said this to a guy in a bar and he walks off,how do you know he's not taking a picture of you on his phone from across the room to later post on the internet or text to all his friends telling them you're a prossie.I would be too scared of getting a bad reputation,it's a small world,I've found out sometimes people I know in one town know someone I know in another town 50 miles away
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If i was in a bar and i fancied a guy and chatted him up and he openly gave me a price list id be horrified!!!
civy life is VERY different to escorting all you have to do is say no thanks im taken not hand them a price list as many will be dead against escorts
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All it takes is them to call the Police and say you tried to solicit them then you could be in serious trouble. I would just say your not interested or just walk away.
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They need to learn to not be so gross and openly ask someone that. Then they won't get a harsh response back.
As for the police, I can deny everything :) Their word against mine ;)
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Thank you Daisy :)
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As for the police, I can deny everything :) Their word against mine ;)
Sadly this may not be the case, there may be witnesses. You just never know who is listening to our conversations or what covert system the establishment may have running and what it can pick up.
Just ignoring the guys seems the easiest way to deal with these silly men. When it happens to me I just laugh in their faces and ignore.
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Had one today, apparently, I have no honour, disease ridden slag! Nice! ::)
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Had one today, apparently, I have no honour, disease ridden slag! Nice! ::)
Is that from a guy you met outside work hours?
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Yep! Such charmers lol!
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I have had comments like this made to me out of work and I either just smile and say sorry I am taken and then turn away or if they are really persistent I just say I am sorry but I dont think you could afford me and then again turn away and if needed will mention to a member of staff of the establishment that I am being harassed. Bars will eject the person doing this rather than have you leave simply because they know single women in the bar bring in men whereas men don't.
I would never reel off a price list as these guys do not know that I am an escort and as such do not expect to be charged. yes some really do need help in learning what to say when chatting someone up but we are adults and as such are quite capable of saying go away and then ignoring them
also reeling out a price list in public to random men is soliciting and is an arrestable offence even if we are not on the street but in a bar and that is not a risk I would be willing to take as if some random guy took offence and called the police all they would have to do to prove it is send a copper to chat you up and you then reel of a price list and bang you get arrested. Yes it is probably a 100 - 1 chance but still a chance to high for me.
I also do not know the mental state of the men who are chatting me up and risking one who is not as mentally stable as he should be, getting offended and angry by me reeling off a price and later deciding I am just a whore so no one would care if he got his own back is another risk I will not chance. Upsetting random men by inferring they could only sleep with me if they paid me is a risky game I would not dare play as it just takes one nut job to get angry and lord knows what he might decide to do. After all most men still think our job is illegal so we wont ring the police if we do get attacked so do think they can get away with it. As I said it is probably a tiny tiny risk but still too high a risk for me to take
Much easier to smile and say sorry no!
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If this was happening to me with frequency I think I would be finding somewhere else to visit. Doesn't sound like very desirable places to visit.
Had one today, apparently, I have no honour, disease ridden slag! Nice! ::)
Is that from a guy you met outside work hours?
Yep! Such charmers lol!
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I do this for a living but only date women in my personal life. If I hit on a woman in a bar who gave me a price list in response, I would be horrified.
Every single woman on this planet has sleazy comments thrown at her from men. I was in the car with the windows down the other night and had what felt like a lifetime's worth of sleazeball comments thrown my way about my breasts whilst sat at lights. I just ignored them. Some men have absolutely no idea how to behave around women and in situations where they can be egged on by 'the lads', they become worse. It doesn't make it right, but in most antagonistic situations, rebuttal tends to make it worse.
Its more damaging to their ego to be ignored. Its like any bad behaviour - the more you encourage it by way of acknowledging it or fuelling it, the more the behaviour continues and worsens. Children get put in time out - so do adults that annoy me or have bad behaviour toward me. I used to be more mouthy but then I realised it all just becomes a pissing contest and I have more power by removing any form of attention from them.
Some people just want to go places and nauseate people; no different to trolls on the Internet. Some people have no idea to talk to people; some people have no idea how to read signs. Some people presume any woman in a bar or club is up for it and needs to be treated with sexual aggression in the 'seduction' stage. Some people may be being harmless and it backfires massively in their face.
Whether you reel off a price list or give them what for, they will still go off mocking you to their friends for giving them a reaction. I treat people with the same respect I expect to be treated with, even if they aren't particularly showing me respect. Its got nothing to do with weakness, its about being the bigger person and not passing over one jot of my personal power to someone else. Not only that, but its a personal safety thing; I might get a moment's satisfaction running my mouth back, but I don't know who they know, I don't know them, and I don't fancy having someone waiting to rearrange my teeth for me at a later date, or worse.
Some things are better left unsaid.
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Well it would seem to me that alot of men find it ego deflating when they meet up with you and you don't find them so sexy in person that you're willing to do it for free. So the real question I guess is, why do they bother visiting a sex worker?
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Well it would seem to me that alot of men find it ego deflating when they meet up with you and you don't find them so sexy in person that you're willing to do it for free. So the real question I guess is, why do they bother visiting a sex worker?
I think LL's point is that she doesn't feel inclined to have sex with guys she meets outside work. But if a guy is insistent and she does offer to do it for them for a fee that's when they object. They are not aware she is a sex worker when these conversations take place.
I think you have to be very careful about this kind of thing in civvy street. Having said that, if a guy obviously wants sex badly, and there are loads that do, I don't see any reason why not, it's still doing him a favour. I've met business gents in bars loads of times and they have been happy to pay, but I make sure they bring the subject up first so that I can't be accused of soliciting. It's really a question of who you choose to offer it to and how.
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Really Jasmine?? :o (I don't mean that sarcastically either)
I get to have a few orgasms in this business and be paid for it as well, I think that's the thrill of it. As I said in the last post, sex outwith is boring and I simply feel a tad used unless I get something in return. Perhaps that's just me, some may think it, some may not.
Snap, I thought I was the only one
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Outwith work, I have had a few chancers e.g. at bars try their luck.
I obviously make sure it's an area outwith where I live, but my opinion is, why should a bloke get it for free if he's using you and slagging about?
I get the whole sleazy speel, so then I say my price list.
Instantly, I get a tirade of abuse.. "I wouldn't even pay 1p for you, you disease ridden slag".
Yet these blokes put it about..
Maybe it's just me, I don't know. I just think that me and other ladies are worth our prices, so why shouldn't I get something in return?
It's the whole reason I avoid bars/clubs now (plus am getting on a bit lol). But I still get hit on sometimes on the street when I'm out minding my own business.
Clients aside, I don't get why blokes go nuts if you state your price list. The saying "no such thing as a free lunch" springs to mind..
Outside of work like during my personal time if I met some one and was attracted flirting, I just let it happen mentioning no prices. In my opinion operating like a prozzy all the time, especially in bars or clubs isn't discreet.
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Personally when I am approached in a bar or suchlike, it is very obvious who and what I am... so I am quite forward and will make my offer... and if you think about what it would cost to wine and dine, and club a civilian for "free" with no guarantees of success... I am a bargain...
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Well said Inna. I've pointed this out on many occasion !
And they do not have the health concerns of a cheesy one night stand style situation without protection !
It amazes me how judged we are when each and every weekend there are thousands of others sharing sex in an unhealthy "pick up" style arrangement.
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When I go out, I'm off-duty. I do not carry on with an ongoing Sex for cash-only mentality when socialising.
To be honest, I don't get the indignation of some who get their knickers in a twist if someone in a club or other social setting "dares" to find them attractive or chats them up. That's life. You don't have to go ahead and can just politely say no. That said, I don't seem to get really crass or crude offers. Maybe it's where I hang out and how I come across. I am definitely not in hooker mode when I'm not working. I can still appreciate the thrill of chatting and flirting with someone nice especially if attractive without mental arithmetic of how much any encounter would earn me. That said I don't do one-night stands. I am recently single again and right now want to focus on getting a business of the ground. But eventually when I'm ready I would not mind starting dating and part of meeting people is chatting to them during a party or some event. I would definitely not now or then see it as a personal affront that someone takes an interest in me. I don't have a red light over my head signalling my profession and don't see why every bloke should automatically assume he needs to pay when meeting me outside my sex work. I would find such a scenario quite sad actually ::)
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When I was a full time worker I wouldn't have sex for free - I didn't have my own sex life I got it so much i wasn't in the mood!
Now being a part time worker I love having sex with people who aren't clients! All my clients are old or foreign - not my type anyway. It's nice to have sex with someone I'm attracted to and can be me, not Emma!
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When I was a full time worker I wouldn't have sex for free - I didn't have my own sex life I got it so much i wasn't in the mood!
Now being a part time worker I love having sex with people who aren't clients! All my clients are old or foreign - not my type anyway. It's nice to have sex with someone I'm attracted to and can be me, not Emma!
I just hate it how blokes think they can wolf whistle at you and have the sheer audacity to ask a woman who is minding her own business, whether online or out in public!
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They can. So they will.
Does not bother me, in fact when I am running around it a simple outfit and not looking my best, a wolf whistle makes me smile.
Some people will never get one, some I am not going to complain about the odd one that comes my way.
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They can. So they will.
Does not bother me, in fact when I am running around it a simple outfit and not looking my best, a wolf whistle makes me smile.
Some people will never get one, some I am not going to complain about the odd one that comes my way.
Nobody Interesting- there is actually a YouTube clip about two girls who did a study on guys who do that depending on what a girl is wearing. It's so sad. Obviously, no one knows what I do, but it hacks me off when they do!
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*shrugs* Boys will be boys and I'd be broke if they weren't ;D
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Enjoy the wolf whistles while you are getting them. Maybe in a few years time they will stop and then you will wonder 'am I not attractive enough for a guy to give me a wolf whistle'. I couldn't tell you the last time I had one. << swoons at the thought, :'( :'( >>
I do get lots of compliments from clients but that's not quite the same. :(
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LL I'm sure you look lovely :)
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start carrying a makarov you will be surprised how empowering it feels,
Granny never left the village without one...
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...but IMO anyone doing it for free is worse.
This is what i don't understand. Why, just because it's sex, is it 'bad' / 'worse' / 'moral' vs. 'immoral' ad infinitum. I 'do it for free' quite a bit and I get paid for it quite a bit too :D neither of these is bad or worse than the other... As sex workers we of course have our own opinions on certain subjects but shouldn't the language and attitude we have towards sex, sex work and other peoples choices on how they express their sexuality be a little more tolerant and informed than that of the general public?
I thought it was what Daisy is replying to but wasn't too sure. Having fun for free is ok, just how it is for having paid sex fun. Some people could say that paying for sex is far worse than for free. There is for and against in every thing.
At least you can choose someone attractive when it's for fun/free. I hope I don't stop wanting to have sex after working for a while. I have had plenty of encounters that I should have been paid for because of their attitude or lack of skill.
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I got some bloke at the bus stop saying I looked beautiful yesterday (hair up and in a hoodie with a sports bag of vibrators en route to my dungeon...) made my day ! Always does when somebody who isn't paying/ doesn't know my job says that :)
Although there was this guy I slept with last year who is totally denying I was a hooker when I slept with him- always makes me laugh ! He should be buzzing he got it for free !!
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In my view if a guy approaches you and you get chatting and he seems nice then I wouldnt schpeel off a price list. If he wanted to take me out to dinner and get to know me and was vaguely attractive with no obvious annoying triats plus well dressed.
If someone approached me clearly clinging to the hope of getting a leg over I would give him the list. Lets face it, he isnt someone I really want to have in my life so I couldnt care less if he calls me a dirty slag. I would just point out that "hey sad man, you are the dog sniffing at my leg " then walk away. Why wait around for the torrent of abuse that comes when the rejection hits them.
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In my view if a guy approaches you and you get chatting and he seems nice then I wouldnt schpeel off a price list. If he wanted to take me out to dinner and get to know me and was vaguely attractive with no obvious annoying triats plus well dressed.
If someone approached me clearly clinging to the hope of getting a leg over I would give him the list. Lets face it, he isnt someone I really want to have in my life so I couldnt care less if he calls me a dirty slag. I would just point out that "hey sad man, you are the dog sniffing at my leg " then walk away. Why wait around for the torrent of abuse that comes when the rejection hits them.
Chloe, THIS is what I am getting at! I always get the latter, always, and that's why I reel off a price list. Good guys are hard to come by nowadays! :(
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I see it as a pointless act listing prices etc. I would rather do without the hassle .... even at my age it happens. Its best just to turn your back or ignore, if they wont go away and was annoying me I would simply ask someone to have him removed or leave the establishment I was in. Why fuel the situation further. Pointless.
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When I see someone who clearly has money and is interested, I tend to say girls like me don't come here for free ;). - But they knew that anyway as usually their 40+ with stupidly expensive bottles of champagne around them and loads of girls in the vip.
Think it varies on who you approach, the situation you're in and how you act.
I wouldn't go upto a handsome 30 year old who just struck up a conversation. I just wouldn't be able to draw a pricelist into a conversation somehow. What do you say to them?