SAAFE forum
General Category => Blather and Babble => Topic started by: Nikki Dee on 12 April 2016, 10:39:36 pm
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hi ladies
Sorry if I am duplicating any previous posts but I have a recurring problem that I am sure many of you have had to deal with.
I offer a GFE service as I find I typically get nicer/longer bookings and repeat business. I also personally find it easier to build up a bit of rapport rather than getting down to business 30 seconds after getting through the door.
Problem is that in only 18 months of doing this I have had 5 clients who have developed emotional feelings and really believe I am their one and only.
Just last night I met a guy for 2 hours (after a number of emails and calls). Had a lovely time - wine, flowers and conversation and the sex was good. Bit of cuddling after.
So today he hasn't stopped messaging me and saying he wants to go to dinner on Friday. I tell him I'm available and that he should make a booking request. He then says he wants to take me as a date and that he wants to start "seeing" me with a view to starting a relationship.
This keeps happening. A few meets then they think we are a couple or get irritated when they see feedback from someone else. I do make sure I make them happy on a booking and listen when they talk and show an interest, but how do I politely remind them it's a "transaction" not a date?
Typical - when I wanted a boyf there was no interest but as an escort they want to date me!!
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hi ladies
Sorry if I am duplicating any previous posts but I have a recurring problem that I am sure many of you have had to deal with.
I offer a GFE service as I find I typically get nicer/longer bookings and repeat business. I also personally find it easier to build up a bit of rapport rather than getting down to business 30 seconds after getting through the door.
Problem is that in only 18 months of doing this I have had 5 clients who have developed emotional feelings and really believe I am their one and only.
Just last night I met a guy for 2 hours (after a number of emails and calls). Had a lovely time - wine, flowers and conversation and the sex was good. Bit of cuddling after.
So today he hasn't stopped messaging me and saying he wants to go to dinner on Friday. I tell him I'm available and that he should make a booking request. He then says he wants to take me as a date and that he wants to start "seeing" me with a view to starting a relationship.
This keeps happening. A few meets then they think we are a couple or get irritated when they see feedback from someone else. I do make sure I make them happy on a booking and listen when they talk and show an interest, but how do I politely remind them it's a "transaction" not a date?
Typical - when I wanted a boyf there was no interest but as an escort they want to date me!!
Sheer desperation. They long for a relationship. I had a client want to take me out on a date after just one booking. This was after saying he doesn't have time for a girlfriend. With this job obviously you have to be friendly and seem interested in them and the sex and they obviously think it's real. As mentioned in another thread, some think maybe it will be flattering to us if they profess their love infatuation and offer to take us on dates cuz they believe as hookers we don't get any love which is further from the truth. When the acting is too good they forget that this is what they are paying for. A fantasy. That what you are doing is just giving good customer service. Some live in denial about this and think what they see is real. Some just want to try flatter you to get free sex. Some want to use you as arm candy to boost their ego, some want to fill that dating void in their life. I once thought my tattoo artist liked me because he was so kind and friendly to me. But of-course he is going to be nice cuz he wants repeat business and it's just the right thing to do cuz he wants to give people a good service for their money and he wants to do his job properly. not cuz he likes me. but at the time I was desperate and wanted a relationship. so i kinda see why they get confused cuz they think they are special. Maybe not many women smile and talk with them so we make them feel special. They are desperate, they are the ones that seem to not get love, not us. Don't know what else to think when they are falling quickly for any woman that is friendly to them. but they are also delusional. I am not nice to clients cuz I like them, it's cuz I want repeat business and I want to do my job properly. What worked for me is finding that balance. I'm friendly but not too friendly, enthusiastic but not too enthusiastic, laugh but not too long (silly I know lol) and in terms of conversation, I try and keep it to a minimum and rarely talk about myself. That way nothing attracts them to me but my body. I find that when we talk too much etc they get a hint of my personality and then start this whole I love you bullshit cuz they think "wow you have a sweet personality, I relate to you blah blah" and I am here thinking "Ew" :-X Just remind them of your social rates. If they persist on wanting to take you out for free just tell them they are not your type lol.
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Do you offer dinner dates/social meets or just a normal GFE meeting?
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It's really tricky. I have had this quite a bit as I like to see the same men so I know what to expect...therefore I am really nice to them so they come back etc.
I think the answer is to keep saying the same thing to them when they ask for a relationship...'I can't afford to'. They will either keep seeing you and paying or they will spit their dummy out....but you may get a few sessions out of them before that happens hahaha!
I don't have any qualms about this because I believe they are being disrespectful (not respecting your job) so I will just play them at their own game. I play these men.
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Tends to be the older ones that blurt out the feelings.
I have had younger ones that I could tell had the attraction but they would move to distance themselves as they probably have the options. They had that arrogance about them that means that they could distance themselves. Many of the younger ones do look down on us for the purposes of "love" because they don't tend to be as desperate... they're just cheaters.
The older ones were often much more unpleasant and scary in how their feelings were expressed. Often in dead marriages and having to hear about their (lack of) bedroom activity.
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I know how you feel! It's a frequent thing when the believe the GFE, I've had it happen several times, just like you clients start texting for a date or wanting to meet off the clock and it's really frustrating. Usually I will say "When would you like to book, for the hour again yes? You remember my rate?" And that can shut them up. Sometimes wen they're overly persistent I'm honest and firm but polite and let them know it's a business transaction, he pays me for a fantasy, I play out the fantasy and when times up he gets back into the real world. It's surprising how many think you're "cold" or that it's wrong that I am telling them how it is!
Many delude themselves into thinking because you're polite with them, that you like them and that they're the "special" one when reality is you're just a good service provider. I agree it's usually the older ones, they get pretty delusional and seem to think a girl of my young age suddenly wants a relationship with them after an hour of paid sex, some I feel sorry for as I genuinely believe that they are nice guys who fall easily, others have egos and think they're great in bed and that because I'm friendly that means it's more than it is.
Just be firm and polite and let them know if they want to see you whether that be a "dinner date", or sex in a hotel etc it's on paid time and paid time only and if they still persist block them! They get the hint then :) x
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I've had experience of this, yet also have plenty of clients who wouldn't dream of stepping over the mark or developing inappropriate feelings. I find it's not particularly an age thing, it's either someone who is totally initially confused, thinks sex workers are only looking for a partner, or they have a particular style of relating to others in which they can't understand why the other person isn't appreciating their attentions.
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Just say " I dont think my husband would appreciate that".
or when you start to receive lots of text messages from them just say " Sorry I cant respond to your text now as I'm shopping for baby clothes with my hubby" .
I'm as single as single can be but they dont need to know that. :)
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oh wow. Thank you for the responses. Jessica thanks for the detailed response. It's reassuring to know its a common thing. Quite sad really but I guess it keeps us in business. I find it quite interesting that they would want a deep and meaningful relationship with someone they met because she was selling sex.
But thanks for the tips. We are just too damn adorable ladies. Damn that magnetic allure we have!!!
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or when you start to receive lots of text messages from them just say " Sorry I cant respond to your text now :Das I'm shopping for baby clothes with my hubby" .
Love this!!! :D
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It's part of the reason we charge so much, it's mentally tiring having to put these men back in place of escort client things are going well then the client drops the L bomb, I am human lol I do sympathise hence why it's egsausting. I just tell them that just because the meets are paid doesn't mean the human connections & friendships aren't real BUT I feel it's disrespecting my boundaries to ask for something more than the set up we have as it's basically saying you CBA to pay anymore. Some lump it and come back as usual, some get obsessed & manipulative and I have to shake them, some are embarrassed by their proposal and I never see them again. I just tell them if I allowed all my clients to leave that boundary i'd have no money to pay the rent, i'd love to get my massages on the house but I understand it's a service. I don't usually bring that reality into things as it's supposed to be a fantasy but that's the problem, sometimes they forget that so on occasions it is appropriate to remind them. Just been dealing with someone who wouldn't take no or a block as an answer so yea I get you it's knackering.
Take it as a compliment that your doing your job right, if they can't accept that, there is ALWAYS more clients to be had. Your right it seems cold but like....... I can't pay the rent with 50 boyfriends haha. 'You want to date me? Oh go on then.' I mean.... this is like a monthly thing how would we be expected to see all these men for free..... Think my house would turn into a huge polyamerous gang bang mess. We like the company of our friends doesn't mean we want to date them all. When you put it logically and silly i'm sure they'll get it & not take offence.
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lol sorry a bit off topic but i just had a funny thought. Me and my therapist are quite cool (least so I think) We bust jokes whenever I go see her and it's great but that doesn't mean that i will now ask for her number so I can text her and we can meet up for a drink> tahahah. These men have no pride. I tell ya.
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We are just too damn adorable ladies.
I'm not ;D.
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oh wow. Thank you for the responses. Jessica thanks for the detailed response. It's reassuring to know its a common thing. Quite sad really but I guess it keeps us in business. I find it quite interesting that they would want a deep and meaningful relationship with someone they met because she was selling sex.
But thanks for the tips. We are just too damn adorable ladies. Damn that magnetic allure we have!!!
I think many of them are in love, and love causes delusions. It's when the honeymoon period ends and the arguments start that it all goes to hell.
I like to hide myself away because I am terrified of being spotted in public by a client... I find it likely that in a relationship they would likely get paranoid about being seen in public with us after the intense feelings subside a bit. Then where does that leave us?
No matter how great the guy is, I would find it really strange to start a relationship with someone I met who paid me for sex. And I have met a fair share of really dateable guys. As great as they are, they would be forever put in the "client" box, they may be amazing but they paid me for sex.
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It's part of the reason we charge so much, it's mentally tiring having to put these men back in place of escort client things are going well then the client drops the L bomb, I am human lol I do sympathise hence why it's egsausting. I just tell them that just because the meets are paid doesn't mean the human connections & friendships aren't real BUT I feel it's disrespecting my boundaries to ask for something more than the set up we have as it's basically saying you CBA to pay anymore. Some lump it and come back as usual, some get obsessed & manipulative and I have to shake them, some are embarrassed by their proposal and I never see them again. I just tell them if I allowed all my clients to leave that boundary i'd have no money to pay the rent, i'd love to get my massages on the house but I understand it's a service. I don't usually bring that reality into things as it's supposed to be a fantasy but that's the problem, sometimes they forget that so on occasions it is appropriate to remind them. Just been dealing with someone who wouldn't take no or a block as an answer so yea I get you it's knackering.
Take it as a compliment that your doing your job right, if they can't accept that, there is ALWAYS more clients to be had. Your right it seems cold but like....... I can't pay the rent with 50 boyfriends haha. 'You want to date me? Oh go on then.' I mean.... this is like a monthly thing how would we be expected to see all these men for free..... Think my house would turn into a huge polyamerous gang bang mess. We like the company of our friends doesn't mean we want to date them all. When you put it logically and silly i'm sure they'll get it & not take offence.
The older ones find it much more difficult because they can't go out and freely date attractive young women in their lives. That makes them much more unpleasant when it gets bad.
Had a guy in his mid 20's before who never expressed his feelings but I knew he was massively into me, he would always keep silent on the issue and just say things like "all women are the same anyway"... which i was fine with. Always showed he cared , like lending me his jacket when my heater was not working.
He had a long term girlfriend and split with her while he was seeing me, then got another girlfriend. Eventually he stopped seeing me because by his 2nd new girlfriend I think he managed to get over me. It did take him a fair while though, like 2 years.
Clients like that are rare though, he wanted to keep seeing me rather than lose me.. which was fair enough. I think he gave up in the end.
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It's part of the reason we charge so much, it's mentally tiring having to put these men back in place of escort client things are going well then the client drops the L bomb, I am human lol I do sympathise hence why it's egsausting. I just tell them that just because the meets are paid doesn't mean the human connections & friendships aren't real BUT I feel it's disrespecting my boundaries to ask for something more than the set up we have as it's basically saying you CBA to pay anymore. Some lump it and come back as usual, some get obsessed & manipulative and I have to shake them, some are embarrassed by their proposal and I never see them again. I just tell them if I allowed all my clients to leave that boundary i'd have no money to pay the rent, i'd love to get my massages on the house but I understand it's a service. I don't usually bring that reality into things as it's supposed to be a fantasy but that's the problem, sometimes they forget that so on occasions it is appropriate to remind them. Just been dealing with someone who wouldn't take no or a block as an answer so yea I get you it's knackering.
Take it as a compliment that your doing your job right, if they can't accept that, there is ALWAYS more clients to be had. Your right it seems cold but like....... I can't pay the rent with 50 boyfriends haha. 'You want to date me? Oh go on then.' I mean.... this is like a monthly thing how would we be expected to see all these men for free..... Think my house would turn into a huge polyamerous gang bang mess. We like the company of our friends doesn't mean we want to date them all. When you put it logically and silly i'm sure they'll get it & not take offence.
The older ones find it much more difficult because they can't go out and freely date attractive young women in their lives. That makes them much more unpleasant when it gets bad.
Had a guy in his mid 20's before who never expressed his feelings but I knew he was massively into me, he would always keep silent on the issue and just say things like "all women are the same anyway"... which i was fine with. Always showed he cared , like lending me his jacket when my heater was not working.
He had a long term girlfriend and split with her while he was seeing me, then got another girlfriend. Eventually he stopped seeing me because by his 2nd new girlfriend I think he managed to get over me. It did take him a fair while though, like 2 years.
Clients like that are rare though, he wanted to keep seeing me rather than lose me.. which was fair enough. I think he gave up in the end.
I agree about the older guys, I do think the bitterness and nastiness stems from they know they can't get us younger girls and when we openly reject them it hurts, I hear clients talk about how they're not a "young stud" anymore and can't pull the stunners and all that, so I do believe many of them get nasty due to bitterness.
I had a client who was 27 (I'm 22) ask me out on a date and said he could see things going somewhere, I nicely turned him down and told him I'm happy being single and this is business to me. He was so nice about it and understood my reasons and was really mature and lovely, maybe he knew what my answer was gonna be!
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Ah the number one bugbear of this job and this industry in general when the men forget what it is all about and want to make more of it than what's actually happening, you then lose a nice chunk of change when they get their big egos bruised :FF
I've had this happen many times over the years and I still don't understand how or why these men believe that because they pay they deserve our undying love and affection, no you deserve however long you've paid for and you are forgotten about before I even reach the car outside. My favourite are the ones who stop booking to 'teach us a lesson' but are so hooked they come crawling back years later, happened recently and I'm happily rinsing his wallet without promising him anything or leading him on in any way all over again. Kaching!!
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I have seen a guy a few times now and he wants me to be his woman. It is so difficult when you are in a client's home prior to getting down to business when they declare their love. All that is in my mind is the ???'s lost if I say 'no I don't have relationships with clients'. I think these types put us in a very awkward position. He said he cared for me. I just told him that sorry I just can't do without the ??? right now due to blah blah so hopefully he will keep seeing me, keep paying me and I will keep him sweet along the way.
Very tricky x
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What is going on? Pretty much every client I've had over the last few weeks has decided they want to date me, have feeling for me or want to make it more serious.... I have no issues saying no nicely! I just don't understand why its happening! I've gone from never hearing it, to literally being told a few times a day... Im hoping its just Spring Fever and will wear off! Anyone else getting this at the moment? x
Oh for the record, I wouldn't date any of them!
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Ahh, occupational hazard unfortunatley ::)
I've been working on and off for around four years now and have had four seperate clients "fall" for me. Two have been harmless enough and more soppy than anything, the other two were malignant narcissists and caused me so much hassle they almost drove me to quit.
And men say we women are the ones who can't distinguish between sex and love lol what a crock.
That being said though, I don't think it's always a case of them being smitten, some of them are just smart Alec's trying to get free bookings. On a few occasions I've had a first or second time client ask me out after the booking, yeah right mate of course ::) x
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That being said though, I don't think it's always a case of them being smitten, some of them are just smart Alec's trying to get free bookings. On a few occasions I've had a first or second time client ask me out after the booking, yeah right mate of course ::) x
Yes and I've had more than a few say that they 'like me as a person and not just for sex' A good way for them to prove their feelings is to suggest they book every week for a year (with no sex) and still pay...I don't think there would be many takers for that arrangement lol
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Ahh, occupational hazard unfortunatley ::)
I've been working on and off for around four years now and have had four seperate clients "fall" for me. Two have been harmless enough and more soppy than anything, the other two were malignant narcissists and caused me so much hassle they almost drove me to quit.
And men say we women are the ones who can't distinguish between sex and love lol what a crock.
That being said though, I don't think it's always a case of them being smitten, some of them are just smart Alec's trying to get free bookings. On a few occasions I've had a first or second time client ask me out after the booking, yeah right mate of course ::) x
Totally agree with this comment, I think the ones that say they wan't to take me on a date and then make pains to underline "it's not a booking" are just after freebies.
One married guy (really lovely regular) spammed me with texts after a booking and asked me out on a date and when I turned him down he said he wouldn't see me any more! He'll be back!!
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I had this when I came back last summer I think it was how I worded my profile. If you make yourself seem to available they'll think you are fare game. Think alot of it too is them thinking they are telling us what they think we want to hear, aside from being delusional, as most say it's to get free sex. It's all a smokescreen of narcissistic "charm" & not thinking lie a rational person.
Tell 'em you have 3 Bfs already & couldn't possibly take another one on or you are looking for a girlfriend, bored with cock. :P
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I call them "clingons", sadly they are just lonely desperate delusional guys who probably couldn't cope in a "normal" relationship.
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I call them "clingons", sadly they are just lonely desperate delusional guys who probably couldn't cope in a "normal" relationship.
Hence why they cheat. They are not lonely per se, they just don't actually have any decency.
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I call them "clingons", sadly they are just lonely desperate delusional guys who probably couldn't cope in a "normal" relationship.
Hence why they cheat. They are not lonely per se, they just don't actually have any decency.
No, I don't think this is acceptable at all.
Many clients aren't cheating on anyone as they are single to begin with, and as for those who do, I can't say I agree that they 'don't have any decency.'
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I call them "clingons", sadly they are just lonely desperate delusional guys who probably couldn't cope in a "normal" relationship.
Hence why they cheat. They are not lonely per se, they just don't actually have any decency.
No, I don't think this is acceptable at all.
Many clients aren't cheating on anyone as they are single to begin with, and as for those who do, I can't say I agree that they 'don't have any decency.'
Some don't care about the chaos & destruction they cause to their spouse so she does have a valid point. It's down to personal boundaries isn't it.
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Last time I saw old guy who has decided we are going to have a relationship (!), I asked him the time....''Ohhh, don't do that!' he said, pulling a pained face.
So I had to do a contortionist act trying to see his watch face.
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Hence why they cheat. They are not lonely per se, they just don't actually have any decency.
No, I don't think this is acceptable at all.
Many clients aren't cheating on anyone as they are single to begin with, and as for those who do, I can't say I agree that they 'don't have any decency.'
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Some don't care about the chaos & destruction they cause to their spouse so she does have a valid point. It's down to personal boundaries isn't it.
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What chaos and destruction? Even the ones who are in a monogamous relationship, the partner very rarely finds out so there's no chaos or destruction!
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[quote author=mysteriousGirl link=topic=32608.msg244135#msg244135 date=
That being said though, I don't think it's always a case of them being smitten, some of them are just smart Alec's trying to get free bookings. On a few occasions I've had a first or second time client ask me out after the booking, yeah right mate of course ::) x
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Totally agree here. The amount of them that say "oh the hour is up but you can stay for dinner just as friends". No thanks mate. I'll take the money and get a burger on the way home!!!
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[quote author=mysteriousGirl link=topic=32608.msg244135#msg244135 date=
That being said though, I don't think it's always a case of them being smitten, some of them are just smart Alec's trying to get free bookings. On a few occasions I've had a first or second time client ask me out after the booking, yeah right mate of course ::) x
Totally agree here. The amount of them that say "oh the hour is up but you can stay for dinner just as friends". No thanks mate. I'll take the money and get a burger on the way home!!!
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Lol. Love this!
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Absolutely! Old guy I see wanted to cook me dinner this weekend. Thank god he's cancelled as it's crossing the boundaries a bit that x
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My heart just sinks when I get an email after a lovely enjoyable booking with someone saying something like "I'd love to treat you to dinner one evening just as friends".
I instantly know at that point that I've just lost a potential regular because he can't keep his emotions in check! If I respond back explaining that it's a business and I don't see people for free etc i rarely ever hear from them again. It's so waring!
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My heart just sinks when I get an email after a lovely enjoyable booking with someone saying something like "I'd love to treat you to dinner one evening just as friends".
I instantly know at that point that I've just lost a potential regular because he can't keep his emotions in check! If I respond back explaining that it's a business and I don't see people for free etc i rarely ever hear from them again. It's so waring!
Yep, exactly the same here. There is no magic reply to make it better.
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I offer a gfe and not sure if my fave client is starting to show feelings for me or if I'm just being paranoid. Would love your feedback on this.
I've only been doing this for about six months and he has been a regular for four months now.
We both get on, I do enjoy his company and enjoy my time with him.
Started off with just bjs and cim then moved onto sex and now we always have sex. The last couple of times it has been so intimate more like him making love to me than just sex. Always have a chat after but last time had a cuddle too.
Started referring to me as his lover.
I want to keep him as a regular but don't want him to fall for me as judging from your posts this never works out if you want to keep it a business transaction.
Should I say something to him before it's too late or can you give some tips on how to not get too intimate without spoiling the moment.
I made the mistake of telling him too many personal things about myself early on which probably didn't help.
Seeing him tomorrow and want things to go back to normal.
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I offer a gfe and not sure if my fave client is starting to show feelings for me or if I'm just being paranoid. Would love your feedback on this.
I've only been doing this for about six months and he has been a regular for four months now.
We both get on, I do enjoy his company and enjoy my time with him.
Started off with just bjs and cim then moved onto sex and now we always have sex. The last couple of times it has been so intimate more like him making love to me than just sex. Always have a chat after but last time had a cuddle too.
Started referring to me as his lover.
I want to keep him as a regular but don't want him to fall for me as judging from your posts this never works out if you want to keep it a business transaction.
Should I say something to him before it's too late or can you give some tips on how to not get too intimate without spoiling the moment.
I made the mistake of telling him too many personal things about myself early on which probably didn't help.
Seeing him tomorrow and want things to go back to normal.
I would start to change some of your personal details that you tell him ( He's probably not even taken in what you've said and just imagined his own view of your personal situation anyway) Make a new start as in be more precise; when the booking starts mention the time to him: "So you wanted an hour at 3pm" or whatever then very close to 4pm say something like " the bookings almost over time flies when you're having fun doesn't it!? " :D Keep it professional but fun and friendly. Otherwise sounds like he will sooner or later not want to pay seeing as you're 'such good friends' ::)
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I wouldn't say we are friends as we only see each other when he books me. I know I need to be more business like with him.
I'm just not sure if I should say something to him and if I do not sure what to say without ruining the rapport we have built.
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I offer a gfe and not sure if my fave client is starting to show feelings for me or if I'm just being paranoid. Would love your feedback on this.
I've only been doing this for about six months and he has been a regular for four months now.
We both get on, I do enjoy his company and enjoy my time with him.
Started off with just bjs and cim then moved onto sex and now we always have sex. The last couple of times it has been so intimate more like him making love to me than just sex. Always have a chat after but last time had a cuddle too.
Started referring to me as his lover.
I want to keep him as a regular but don't want him to fall for me as judging from your posts this never works out if you want to keep it a business transaction.
Should I say something to him before it's too late or can you give some tips on how to not get too intimate without spoiling the moment.
I made the mistake of telling him too many personal things about myself early on which probably didn't help.
Seeing him tomorrow and want things to go back to normal.
What tends to work for me is saying "I've got another booking at x time" - say he's booked for 1 hour due to end at 4pm, I'd say 10 mins before the hour is up, "I've got another booking at 4.30pm would you like a shower before you go?" - a bit blunt I know, but it sends the message to him that you are seeing other clients, and serves as a reminder that he is a paying client - one of many.
Offering a GFE does attract clients who want the intimacy of a relationship and the lines can become very blurred for the client. For the escort it can be difficult to keep the boundaries clear, especially if the client is obviously lonely and wants a cuddle and a chat... I find it very hard at times... but it is a business transaction and one has to be firm and remind the client it's business.
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I wouldn't say we are friends as we only see each other when he books me. I know I need to be more business like with him.
I'm just not sure if I should say something to him and if I do not sure what to say without ruining the rapport we have built.
Remember its in his interests to keep a rapport running with you, its win win for him he can only gain from being 'friends' with you. More 'regular' clients will come along without the headaches of this customer.
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Maybe I'm giving mixed signals. I'm quite a laid back person and naturally very friendly. The last couple of times we went over our booked time which was my fault as I'm crap at keeping an eye on time. I know I need to be more business like and stricter. Maybe that will come with time and experience.
The thing is he is my best client and sees me at least once a week plus I do enjoy his company. So it's quite a lot of money to give up on. Anyway hoping to build my clientele so not too dependant on him.
I do keep putting my foot in though and once I've said it think why did I say that to him.
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Maybe I'm giving mixed signals. I'm quite a laid back person and naturally very friendly. The last couple of times we went over our booked time which was my fault as I'm crap at keeping an eye on time. I know I need to be more business like and stricter. Maybe that will come with time and experience.
The thing is he is my best client and sees me at least once a week plus I do enjoy his company. So it's quite a lot of money to give up on. Anyway hoping to build my clientele so not too dependant on him.
I do keep putting my foot in though and once I've said it think why did I say that to him.
Haven't we discussed this before?? ???
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I think that's because it is probably giving Jessie some extra emotional strain. I find the boundary pushers in the context of GFE most stressful. I had to take a few days off after that. :-\
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I hate it so much when they try to take me out for FREE date. No way..no way. We are not on dating site and definitely notooking for the love of our lifes there! I dont mind goinf for a dinner. But there is a price for it... some of them get angry with me because "i treat them as a clients". Well. Thats the idea. Sex with no strings. We both get what we want so no need of drama. But I consider myself too friendly. I am telling them my real name (absolutely fake), things from my real life (fairytales) and so on. Maybe thats how they believe that you are very attracted to them and take them as close to you
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I hate it so much when they try to take me out for FREE date. No way..no way. We are not on dating site and definitely not looking for the love of our lifes there! I dont mind going for a dinner. But there is a price for it... some of them get angry with me because "i treat them as a clients". Well. Thats the idea. Sex with no strings. We both get what we want so no need of drama. But I consider myself too friendly. I am telling them my real name (absolutely fake), things from my real life (fairytales) and so on. Maybe thats how they believe that you are very attracted to them and take them as close to you
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As I also offer gfe I can say from my experience it is true that lines can become blurred. But just because gfe is on offer may not be the reason why some clients want to see you and not pay you for your time. When you willingly extend the booking...for no charge then that maybe is a bit risky business wise.
I don't know how long the op has been doing this work for but please don't think that these men are lost and confused. They may be married or in a relationship and most likely seeing other escorts other than you.
Yes I do think great relationships can be had whilst doing this work. It has been proved by testimonies in other threads.
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Yep, exactly the same here. There is no magic reply to make it better.
I really agree with you. I have been in this industry a long time and I have never found a solution to this issue. Once they have feelings for you/want it to go further it's a death knell. There really is no magic answer
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Call me a cynical old Moo but a lot of dudes are rather manipulative. Dates and a ?relationship? often are a way of freebie hunting.
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+ 1 :)
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Thank you for bringing this up Nikki.
This situation is making my love life feel like hell honestly. I do mainly GFE and the fact that I have to be this assertive when making things clear to my clients I end up doing the same with regular dates.
It's very hard to separate the 2 because my personality has become "time-wasting proof" LITERALY :o
So when I go out with really nice guys I tend to jump straight to the point to figure out what they want because this is what I have to do with clients. Needless to say (and this is going to sound ironic) I am not so good as girlfriend material in my personal life as I am in my professional one...I think this is the only part of the job that I hate.
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I really agree with you. I have been in this industry a long time and I have never found a solution to this issue. Once they have feelings for you/want it to go further it's a death knell. There really is no magic answer
Gee wizz Hadley I have at least 20 of these on the go , but there regular and I feel safe with them but emotionally it's really draining , not them just the bloody stuff I have to remember ,although they are my favourite clients I've been off for a month or so and the calls texts ( phones been off) emails are astronomical !
How are you etc, I'm worried etc , but really it's just " hope your ok " nice but pressure !
I can't really say " well to be honest I've been bleeding like a stuffed pig so I'm not sure " FFS so I just have to say unwell due to operation , true but all they want is to see me , come to hospital ??? Etc
I have a family so I've ignored and now back next week until Christmas , thank The Lord ( probably get hit by lightening now ) !!!!
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They must feel they are the only client you are responding to. When you have several clients texting about personal stuff it takes up so much of your time. If you don't respond they get funny or some say getting really worried are you ok if I have been off for over a week.
I need to get stricter on this.
I made the mistake of sending one a text after a lovely session and just said have a lovely weekend.
Ended up with him sending a barrage of texts for days but I just ignored them.
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They must feel they are the only client you are responding to. When you have several clients texting about personal stuff it takes up so much of your time. If you don't respond they get funny or some say getting really worried are you ok if I have been off for over a week.
I need to get stricter on this.
I made the mistake of sending one a text after a lovely session and just said have a lovely weekend.
Ended up with him sending a barrage of texts for days but I just ignored them.
I only reply when working , it's quick and cheeky , not rude or anything that can be miss construed by a partner etc.
Something like ( depending on their business) " could do with a quote" or " could do with a full service" or " I'm chilly might need to put some clothes on etc" , it gets their brains thinking and usually results in a booking that day or the next but not in any way soliciting , it's always in response to a question eg if I get one asking what I'm up to , I say Oooh just getting in a bath or letting body lotion on , or could do with a massage really !!
Works for me ;)