SAAFE forum
General Category => Blather and Babble => Topic started by: Rosesugar on 21 November 2018, 10:44:13 am
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Could someone give me few tips on managing unpleasant things about guys regulars who I don't want to see anymore.
I do block but when the one in question last visited I was polite until he left he makes me cringe.
Could you say that how uncomfortable they make you feel when they think they did nothing wrong. Just their manner and behaviour. Stating sickly comments creepy looking.
This guy keeps trying to get through this morning
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Honestly I just block and ignore them although I work from hotels not my home, you may need more consideration if they come to your house I guess!
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I'm permanently booked up when I don't want to see someone and my tone goes from friendly and bright to a little bit frosty. Most people get the hint. If they persist in trying to get through I block them because I feel it's a form of boundary pushing. In an ideal world I could be more honest but some guys have entitlement issues which can turn nasty so I'm personally a bit careful about what I say.
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If I'm uncomfortable with anyone I tell them.
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I would love to say that I I'm not seeing you because you creep me out I can't stand your stupid comments about my body parts and the way you lie there gazing into my eyes :-X
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Do what he does to you
In that if he is rude and uncaring of you then you can be rude back and straight talk.
If he is a little creepy and does not know it I could not be rude to him for fear of hurting his feelings its tough when they are like that.
Maybe say they look too much like an ex or your uncle and its disturbing and not their fault (wish I had of thought of that sooner for my own use :D )
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I tend to let them know what theyre doing is making me uncomfortable and if they continue i terminate the booking
I cant stand someone gazing into my eyes, or saying creepy things or consistently creepily telling me how hot i am! It gets a bit much! Once, twice, fuck off!
If you just take it, they expect you to do that everytime.
I normally let them know at the end of the booking, that i wouldnt be comfortable in seeing them again.
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When I don't want to see, anyone, regardless of if they are regular or a potential new person I just tell them I am not booking them. If they persist, I remind them that it is my prerogative if I make a booking or not.
If they continue I tell them straight I have been nice about declining your booking. Now you are demonstrating even further why I will not make a booking with you. No is no and you are not respecting this. I will not see anyone who fails to respect me.
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I used to just block but then one guy who I found repulsive and put up with for two bookings before blocking worked out I had blocked him and rang and booked on another number and I didn’t recognise his voice. When he arrived he started asking if I’d blocked him and why. I was worried what he’d do so just lied and played dumb. It wasn’t scary as such but unnerving.
Now I just text them saying I’m booked up and do this until they get bored of trying which they always do. That guy only pretended to be a stranger to get me to meet him because he felt slighted and like he ‘had a right’ to an ‘explanation’.
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That's one of the reasons why I no longer block numbers. It's pointless because they simply change their numbers. At least from keeping them active, saving them to something relevant to why I won't book them, I am able to stop them.
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It's a tricky one, because in an ideal world you'd want to be honest so they know where they went wrong so they don't do it again, but it's hard to know if they will turn nasty when they hear the truth. Or even if it would encourage them to engage further, or try to beg you/say they will change etc. I guess you will have to gauge it by how you think they will take it.
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It's a tricky one, because in an ideal world you'd want to be honest so they know where they went wrong so they don't do it again, but it's hard to know if they will turn nasty when they hear the truth. Or even if it would encourage them to engage further, or try to beg you/say they will change etc. I guess you will have to gauge it by how you think they will take it.
I think it depends. I have told guys who ask too many pre booking questions that I prefer not to ping pong txt because many guys who do this don’t show up to bookings for example because this could be done out of genuine ignorance. But if it’s things like being smelly I think ‘we’ll im not a social worker for adult men’ and if it’s rudeness or sleaziness or bad attitude I don’t think any attempts to educate would land as people generally act like this because they have entitled attitudes or self importance and have convinced themselves that they have the right to be that way.
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I block misbehaving regulars and newcreeps without explanation.
My time is too precious to teach them how to behave.
They don't listen anyway.
SaltySweet
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Ignore and block. You do not need to give any reason
Had someone recently in civvie world (not a relationship) that was driving me mad by his "attention/obsession" towards me. Has been sorted now.
I wish we could walk round with a remote control and press the "block" button whenever we come into contact with these freaks!!! Ignoring is the easy bit!
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Actions speak louder than words, give him a shit service & that will guarantee he wont return.
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I had told him via text I was booked up and doing phone chat.
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I think it depends. I have told guys who ask too many pre booking questions that I prefer not to ping pong txt because many guys who do this don’t show up to bookings for example because this could be done out of genuine ignorance. But if it’s things like being smelly I think ‘we’ll im not a social worker for adult men’ and if it’s rudeness or sleaziness or bad attitude I don’t think any attempts to educate would land as people generally act like this because they have entitled attitudes or self importance and have convinced themselves that they have the right to be that way.
Agreed, if men have got to the adult stage of their lives and are still acting like toddlers they deserve nothing from us, and no 'right' to an explanation.
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I think it depends. I have told guys who ask too many pre booking questions that I prefer not to ping pong txt because many guys who do this don’t show up to bookings for example because this could be done out of genuine ignorance. But if it’s things like being smelly I think ‘we’ll im not a social worker for adult men’ and if it’s rudeness or sleaziness or bad attitude I don’t think any attempts to educate would land as people generally act like this because they have entitled attitudes or self importance and have convinced themselves that they have the right to be that way.
I also find those who ping pong tend to be hard work, push boundaries, require a lot of contact between bookings or to arrange repeat bookings. All of which is time and energy sapping - give me a straightforward client who books, turns up, leave, gets back in touch to arrange another in approximately 3 or 4 texts maximum.
Talking of boundaries is asking for a reduced rate boundary pushing?
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Yes I think asking for a discount is boundary pushing. And whenever in the past I’ve agreed those guys always seem to be the ones with a bad attitude who try and over stay. They have no shame and see trying to get away with as much as possible as a kind of sport. I always tell them I have absolutely no need to haggle in my firmest voice.
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Yes I think asking for a discount is boundary pushing. And whenever in the past I’ve agreed those guys always seem to be the ones with a bad attitude who try and over stay. They have no shame and see trying to get away with as much as possible as a kind of sport. I always tell them I have absolutely no need to haggle in my firmest voice.
Thank you I did think this was the case, when I do offer discount I'm very careful who I offer it to - I've had very similar experiences in the past.
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Yea I’ve occasionally given a discount of my own volition to a regular usually on longer bookings. Keep sweet the ones I like to have return :D
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Yea I’ve occasionally given a discount of my own volition to a regular usually on longer bookings. Keep sweet the ones I like to have return :D
If I'm going to discount it will usually be on my minimum 1 hour because that is heavily weighted, whereas subsequent hour rates are already very much less than the first.
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Actions speak louder than words, give him a shit service & that will guarantee he wont return.
I could not do this. Too many opportunities for repercussions. I never block numbers, always log them with a note in my phone so I can be booked up when they want to re-book (if it is a text) as they do not get a chance to speak to me again from that number if I have decided not to see them again.
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Actions speak louder than words, give him a shit service & that will guarantee he wont return.
Actually this does work.
I always ensure I give a great service, but when you don't want to meet them again, shit service works a treat - but would add this is rare as I meet mostly lovely guys! But there is always one!
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Actually this does work.
I always ensure I give a great service, but when you don't want to meet them again, shit service works a treat - but would add this is rare as I meet mostly lovely guys! But there is always one!
I did have someone who told me he didn't rebook because I appeared to turn cold. Yes I did because when I engaged in his chat he'd over stay significantly, even turning back at the door to ask my advice on his business well after time. He also 'left' his money in the car on one booking, extended on promise he had the cash on him then at the end told me he hadn't and would have to go get it. Which he did but next time I knew I had to be firm, and avoid being dragged in.
He later asked me advice about another Escort who had ripped him off, as a result of his over staying. At that point he told me he'd not booked me because of the perceived change.
So yes I'll instil boundaries but I don't believe in offering a poor service, clients are still customers and it's unprofessional not to mention stealing to purposely give them a rubbish time. As above I'll always tell someone if or when there's a problem, explaining it's affecting how relaxed I can be with them.
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I did have someone who told me he didn't rebook because I appeared to turn cold. Yes I did because when I engaged in his chat he'd over stay significantly, even turning back at the door to ask my advice on his business well after time. He also 'left' his money in the car on one booking, extended on promise he had the cash on him then at the end told me he hadn't and would have to go get it. Which he did but next time I knew I had to be firm, and avoid being dragged in.
He later asked me advice about another Escort who had ripped him off, as a result of his over staying. At that point he told me he'd not booked me because of the perceived change.
So yes I'll instil boundaries but I don't believe in offering a poor service, clients are still customers and it's unprofessional not to mention stealing to purposely give them a rubbish time. As above I'll always tell someone if or when there's a problem, explaining it's affecting how relaxed I can be with them.
This is where a card reader comes in handy. Try Sum up.
If someone is trying to steal your time consistently, then why should you not "steal" back from them, as you put it. You can see this twat has entitlement issues from the way he mentions being ripped off by another escort whilst leeching off you. Teach these leeches a lesson.
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Personally, I never block anyone, I want to know what they are up to or if they are making threats etc.
If I don't want to see someone again I save them as DNS (Do not see) and just never respond to them again. Most get the message after a while. If they decide to get insistent then I might say something like I'm sorry but I currently have all the clients I need and am not taking bookings. If they get angry or creepy then I know I have made the right choice and if they persist or make threats then I would tell them their behaviour is unacceptable and please do not contact me again.
I don't owe them an explanation, and I believe engaging with them if they start begging etc will feed them and they won't stop. Silence is a strong weapon!
I avoid being rude or threatening or acting out some kind of revenge because this may trigger something in them and I can do without that crap!
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Best not to get into playing games. Blocking and ignoring is the best advice. They eventually go away.
Toxic people will only drag you down if you let them.